Authentic Connections Respect Time Limits

Authentic Connections Respect Time Limits

The right people will respect your priorities and need to/choice to provide for yourself as being interested in something or someone being a "good" person doesn't mean they get to manage your time for you or act like you're not available enough (you do not have time for everything or everyone and loving people doesn't mean spending every waking moment with them because authentic heartfelt connections are spiritual and are not measured by physical presence alone). Essentially, something being of interest or someone being a good person doesn't mean your time isn't limited (you simply may not have the time, period) or that you should self-sacrifice or self-abandon, good people would not impose themselves into your life anyway, that is draining and co-dependent. Most adults comprehend that people are busy and they respect the limits of their availability, a good person would never pressure you or be sneaky.

You should always ensure you're not operating on empty or giving from an empty cup. The right individuals wouldn't push you into the red zone, nor would they resort to guilt-tripping or fearmongering. Prioritizing your own needs is simply responsible adulthood, as no one else can fulfill them for you. Establishing boundaries is an integral aspect of humanity, not an act of theft or deprivation from others (because you're not infringing on their rights or taking what is theirs, you own you).

No one with good intentions for you will expect you to cut into your oxygen mask. You're not infringing on them or taking anything from them. This is especially true for random new people who expect you to automatically have schedule space when you have multiple businesses and a disability? Excuse me? What makes you think I would move my sleep schedule for someone so entitled? Sounds like they have an agenda! Even if they were a genuine person, that does not change that you are not mentally or physically available, who would expect you to self-sacrifice at your expense all because they want your energy? You're responsible for not going into the red zone, these people are leeches in disguise. 

It can also be that it's a good person, good opportunity, or something you're interested in but if it is at the expense of your sleep or oxygen mask (the things you cannot outsource and require for your survival aka the non-negotiable conditions to your mental health which is your responsibility) then it means you are simply unavailable and mature adults do not personalize the time and logistical limits of others or make it mean anything about themselves.

Most people respect your vision and time limits and not having unlimited time is a fact of life. 

You can care about XYZ and either show up differently or be unavailable for it. Anyone who is healthy-minded isn't going to try to toy with your emotions and make you feel inadequate unless you meet their definition of love and care.

Everyone has logistics and mental capacity limits whether or not they're interesting in something or someone so the person who thinks they come before your sleep and oxygen mask (especially with a disability) and chooses to make your boundaries mean something about them is the one with the problem. It is not normal to expect people to have unlimited time and capacity and it better to be upfront if you're unavailable or less available.

Life is too short for pointless stress or putting up with sneaky and manipulative guilt-tripping controlling people who hate boundaries.

Only take those who respect your availability limits with you on the journey to your dreams, your life belongs to you.

You can be grateful to others if they aided you in any way, without spending every waking moment with them, abandoning yourself for them, or putting them ahead of the conditions to your survival (you are simply being personally responsible for your health and you're not responsible for curing the codependent thinking of others and how they choose to measure care or interest, we all have different ways of showing it).

A protective and peaceful boundary is confused as a grudge by people who feel entitled to you. That’s unhealthy.

Love is unconditional, relationships are a choice.

You don't require a PhD to realize that you can't delegate your sleep, your moments of peace, or your time for fitness and nutrition, correct? Therefore, anyone demanding you sacrifice these for them is deceitful; they don't have your best interests at heart. The right individuals will value your well-being and understand if you're unavailable for them (new connections who are bulldozers) or less available to existing ones due to prioritizing what's important for your life, such as self-care and managing a disability simultaneously.

Mental presence of a higher quality is better than quantity in my opinion.

Your abilities may be different than others and doesn't mean you need to feel less of yourself.

Anyone who tries / tried to undermine your ability to take care of yourself (basic personal responsibility to retain capacity to function) and who isn't/wasn't a dependent and acts/acted like you managing your obligations is an insult or taking you away from them: that's control.

If someone acts/acted like you managing your obligations (health is one such obligation aka oxygen mask) is an insult or taking you away from them, while not being your child or a dependent, (entitlement and trying to center themselves in your life), they are more trouble to deal with than they are worth. 

They are the epitome of inconsiderate as if you have no life or business to manage and they get to freely hijack your time or delay you by acting like a victim to your rightful boundaries when they're not your child or dependent (and have zero consideration for your deadlines or punctuality in life in general).

Bending boundaries is not a sign of love or commitment, that's self-abandonment and heavy codependence! You do what you can, if you can, period - end of story. Those worthy of your time will not add stress, pressure, chaos, and unfounded drama to your life.  

Managing self-care is not selfish (no one can do this on your behalf, this is basic personal responsibility), but trying to impose oneself on the free will of others and take something that belongs to them (time, energy, attention, their consent when it comes to entering their private life in any manner) regardless of whether or not they're available/able to give that to you is what I call selfish (trying to take something that belongs to someone else or even more interesting: trying to impose your thoughts into their brain and dictate their life to them as if they were inanimate objects and an extension of your agenda with no goals and priorities of their own). Trying to bulldoze the free will of others is selfish, controlling, sneaky, and manipulative. Assuming that you own others or that they belong to you and that certain well-known boundaries are not innate is what is selfish, not simply managing the self-care that people cannot outsource and protecting their peace for consecutive quiet time.

Humanity means harm no one and wish no ill, it does not mean over-exertion or self-sacrifice of your personal obligations and responsibilities! Impossible people will hate you no matter what, you're not here to be the hater-whisperer, stay in energetic alignment with the ones who resonate (without explanations or personalizing boundaries).