There is a lot of peace in self-protection and in distance from what is not healthy or aligned for you, that's not paranoia or negativity: it is basic self-respect.

Forgiveness doesn't mean re-trust nor does it forgo safety, never be manipulated into retraumatization for people who are offended or inconvenienced by your truth (these people are not for you by how they try to deny your healing process and hijack your mind).

You do not have to invest your time and energy in people who have already shown you what they are capable of because the right people would not need explanations, they just resonate and align organically. 

A high spam filter isn't missing out on anything, it magnetizes blessings and repels all that is bad. Protecting what you value isn't being in "protection" mode, it's accepting in advance that being good stewards of our energy and time means happily missing out on what doesn't fit available time.

Who in their right mind would invest their energy in anyone who has clowned them?