Respecting who you are attracts people who respect who you are. Self-love makes it super clear that you love yourself enough and that you don't need anybody in your life who does not honour you with ease.
Kindness is an energy, love all doesn't mean being all things.
Honour your needs.
Parameters protect you.
Being a good person means doing no harm, it doesn't mean that you do not have the right to choose who is allowed in your life or setting your goals on fire to put someone else's first (who would not do the same for you) or confusing leeches and users with genuine charities.
Anyone who is not from your household or dependents who makes themselves the victim to your rightful boundaries (how dare you have prior obligations, health conditions, and commitments that cannot be delayed) is hellbent to misunderstanding you: you don't have time to explain.
Charity starts at home as self-sacrifice isn't noble, and self-neglect is dangerous. The right people will respect the space you need to fill your cup (mutually so), if not, they're likely exploiters/takers: I see boundaries as a spam-filter now and I am loving that mindset shift.
Who is responsible for managing your household, funding your future, putting food on the table (feeding yourself/family)?
You are. Those who don't pay your bills can't manage your time.
Handling your own issues first isn't lying, cheating, stealing, or infringing on others. God doesn't call us to set our own homes on fire for others at our expense. We choose how we allocate our overflow with dignified free will and personal agency. We can't do everything.
There is no more running on empty and that's not even humanly possible with a disability.
Protecting your limits is just being responsible, it's not the same as exploiting, infringing on the rights of others, harming others, changing others to suit yourself, or using others for personal gain.
Genuine people are encouraging of whatever you need to do for your wellness (you being responsible for you is part of protecting your mental recharge time so that you can function for your obligations): they don't weaponize, or personalize your bandwidth limits or time limits.
Leaving a legacy of any sorts (any contribution to humanity on any level or from any angle) can only come from a recharged mental state first.
Real love respects your limits, fake love does not.
Respect for your authenticity (and mutually so) is more important than being liked.
This way, you can give back to humanity in the manner of your choice more thoroughly rather than invest in bottomless pits of nonsense.
Adhering to a weekly "crash day" which means sleeping to pay off insomnia sleep debt and not going swimming, walking, whatever else that seems relaxing but doesn't replace actual sleep (physical and mental rest as a survival baseline) has been lovely.
"Trust yourself" : are the two most powerful words ever spoken to me so that I was able to fortify my internal guidance system and deepen my relationship with God/the Universe.
My life began for real when I learned how my mind worked and the day a very wise person said: "trust yourself." 💙🙏
Quiet time to process ADHD thoughts isn't replaced by talk therapy and extra sleep isn't replaced by any other relaxing activity during those designated time slots. Few people even qualify as a wise-counsel type sounding board anyway.
ROI or not, you cannot spend time or bandwidth that is not in your budget and when you lose a full day to managing an ADHD crash with a mandatory "sleep catch up" day, the 6 days left must be spent intelligently.