Own Your Mental Autonomy
The most basic tenet of personal freedom, autonomy, and dignity is free choice over who we allow into our lives. Personalizing someone else's limits on time, energy, and so on is wild because that's forcing people to defend their ownership over what is under personal property.
Trust is earned, the same way that proximity doesn't mean mental availability.
Quality over quantity and your circle: YOUR choice. Embrace that trust is earned and anyone who is forceful and punitive towards your time limits which have nothing to do with them... is revealing that they want something from you and do not respect your right to be guarded.
You don't need to change your core values just because someone has an issue with it (self-preservation is self-respect and it harms no one so let the boundary-haters hate all they want), the right ones resonate effortlessly.
Constantly feeling pressured or intruded upon by someone insisting on offering unwanted connection can be emotionally draining. The real sleazy salesy ones will offer "help" when it's really a concealed sales pitch and a full-on erosion of autonomy (invisible strings attached yet they're acting altruistic - gross).
Are boundaries (autonomy over what in our jurisdiction and requiring equally yoked connections/refusing added schedule pressure) selfish or is it selfish to expect to be able to use or make demands on others (be it their time, energy, attention, or access to them) as you wish without cognizance of their free will/choice in the matter?
It isn't logistically possible to know everyone, network with everyone, or do everything. The exploiters don't pay your bills, nor are they responsible for protecting your disability and future: they just want to take something from you and your wellness/schedule/things to do in life isn't their concern.
Invasiveness is never well-meaning (because genuine people don't intrude on boundaries, free choice, dignity, and they respect private space, quiet, and wellness). Some are nosey to find ammunition to use against you. You have a right to trust your instincts.
"That's not the business I am in" is not only acceptable, it is the *only* way to guard a disability/ADHD oxygen mask and show up for existing commitments and charities with full mental presence (fully mentally switching off is a sign of commitment to longevity: I guard my private time, that's why it's an online business). ✨✨✨
Stick to the business you're in and in doing so, you're respecting your rightful bandwidth limits and not over-exerting yourself for takers and manipulators.
My digital products respect my mental bandwidth limits and requirement for time freedom, but I am upfront about it.
You can love something and still not have unlimited time, the balance sheet must make logical sense in terms of accounting for one's time each day.
You can love XYZ and still have time limits, you get to choose how/when you give back. ✨
Anyone persistently pushing their agenda onto others despite clear indications of disinterest or misalignment is not only disrespectful but can also be counterproductive.
Those who *respect* you want your wellbeing (mutually) above all even if it means being less available for them, they see you as a person with FREE CHOICE - not as a means to an end or an object to serve their agenda at your oxygen mask/scarce time's expense. Discernment.
Those making demands on the time and energy of strangers are the rude ones especially when there is no basis for that entitlement (and having public online platforms doesn't erode private/personal time to mentally disconnect either). 🔥🔥🔥
No one should feel entitled to another person’s limited energy, resources, and time (a person has free will and autonomy), and just because someone has something to offer doesn’t mean it’s the right fit for everyone's vision or actually helpful (considering things that are not aligned with your actual needs or vision can be a massive time-suck and distraction: you do not owe accepting that to anyone).
The mental reset space (especially with health conditions) in your schedule that you are the one in charge of should be for things that replenish you... Forget the potential advancement or speculative ROI or who someone may know... You have no business without HEALTH first.
My focus circuit both when working and resting simply can't be broken unless it's from my own household, period. I do what I need to do to manage my disability. 🤷♀️
The problem is anyone with no basis for entitlement who thinks they're a center-piece in your life or thinks they come before your life's priorities when they're not your child or a dependent. I am pretty sure that managing your obligations in life is what being responsible is about. Those who respect the personal choices of others won't ever hold this against you, you can definitely count on egotistical entitled people to take offense at boundaries, which gives you more reasons to keep your distance.
We also have the fundamental freedom to choose who we allow into our private lives and there is no basis for entitlement here.
You can care about XYZ and still say no.
If the subtle early signs scream "imposition" even if concealed as "nice" which subtly twist your vision to suit their agenda or try to subtly test your limits: it would be unwise to open yourself up to anything further, not because you're unable to set and reset your boundaries, because they're easily offended and incapable of grasping them easily = the true meaning of "test" the spirit.
Normalize saying: "I am not a fit for you if you're looking for XYZ" because it's best to be upfront so they can find someone else who does meet their needs.
Having property lines in your life around your own values and health isn't innately rude or impolite. I think what is rude is expecting people to not have any in the first place.
You can always count on those without multiple commitments to be bothered by the time constraints of others, this is another sign that should lead to rejoicing about a bullet dodged. I guard my focus very closely as I can't reconnect the wires once they break.
The desire be left unbothered is a right, trust me: you do not want monitoring spirits in your life. Underhanded tactics to wear down your right to be private and so on... That's a sign of poor character and control problems! ⛔️
I do not offer anyone the chance to waste my time twice, I do not deal with controlling people: at all. Not in any proportion do I feel that is warranted. I am not having any of that in my auric field.
If someone wanted "for" you rather than "from" you, your "no" and the level of protection around your health would not phase them. Let the users be mad, those are bullets dodged nice and early.