Why Introverts with ADHD Need Alone Time and a Small Circle

Why Introverts with ADHD Need Alone Time and a Small Circle

In a world that often prizes extroversion and constant social engagement, introverts with ADHD can find themselves at odds with societal expectations.

Their unique combination of personality traits and neurological differences necessitates a lifestyle that prioritizes alone time, a small social circle, and firm boundaries.

Here’s why these needs are essential for their wellbeing and why respecting these boundaries is crucial.

The Need for Alone Time:

For introverts, alone time is not just a preference but a necessity. It allows them to recharge, reflect, and decompress from the overstimulation that un-necessary or too many social interactions often bring.

Knowing who you are after having explored and tried enough things is a *GIFT* to be embraced. It's never a person who knows themselves who tries to dismantle the wiring of those who do.

Fact: you don't owe anyone intimacy. Choose your inner circle wisely, keep it safe and small.

I don't know if it's just me, but people who don't like having roommates and have chosen to work multiple jobs to not have people in their space aren't going to take a liking to strangers trying to get into their personal affairs or acting entitled to their *limited* time and energy: working multiple lanes is a choice and I don't need people I don't even know getting in the WAY.

Those who try to force their way into your life are undercover haters because they don't respect free will and they don't mind destroying your daily schedule as long as they get what they want from you and I find that absolutely disgusting.  

Not that you would want them to, but the people who do not pay your bills have nothing to say about how you spend your energy, your time, or how you manage your inner-sanctuary and access to it.

Why waste your time if they're looking for something you don't have to give aka spare time and energy and just go find people who do? 🤔

Remember, those who truly care about you will celebrate and support your commitment to self-care and well-being. They would not mind it even if it means less time or no time for them as they respect your space and don't get in the way of your schedule (like genuine people, only leeches do that).

People who soothe your nervous system > all else.

Be *very* careful who you allow into *your* life.

Stay vigilant and test the spirit: your circle = your choice.

This is being kind to your own boundaries first and not allowing depletion, this is self-preservation.

👏

When ADHD enters the equation, this need for solitude becomes even more pronounced. ADHD can heighten sensitivity to external stimuli, making social settings overwhelming and exhausting. Alone time provides a sanctuary where they can manage their energy levels and maintain mental clarity.

Scammy people are ambushers who try to get their needs met through you aka view you as an extension of themselves and want to leech off you and go about trying to force their way into your life in crafty, ambushing, and sneaky ways via ploys: never fall for it, use discernment.

My home is my personal sanctuary, and I don't appreciate it being intruded upon; I simply want to be left alone. It's inappropriate to loiter around someone's house uninvited and push against their clearly designated unavailable time as if that was going to be rewarded by them - such inconsideration is low-vibrational and inconsiderate behaviour, and it's equally wrong to knock on their door without an invitation.

You have no idea what someone might be going through, and it's inconsiderate to disrupt their daily routine. They don't owe you an explanation for being in a hurry, and ignoring their social cues shows a lack of respect on your part all because *you* want something from them no matter the cost to them which is inconsiderate and self-centered at someone else's expense. Find people with spare time perhaps? 🔥 

I think the right people will encourage your wellness requirements even if it means less or no time for them and one thing I don't tolerate is entitlement to my time and space, I have 2 jobs and a disability, it's a *choice* how I spend the little I have and my household comes first, go work multiple lanes and tell me how it goes!

We *choose* who is in our circle and from which segments of life, missing out is a trade-off for guarding the quiet time that an ADHD mind requires. Oh well! 😱

I love my privacy and personal space, that's why I love living on my own, I would not change it. It's fantastic to recharge my ADHD mind from overstimulation. Sometimes I want more space so I can build a bigger home gym, but it's fine.

IF I LIVE ON MY OWN: I probably don't want strangers in my daily affairs business! 😱 That's a damper on the freedom and privacy for which I pay and intrusion is different than being genuine. 

I don't think it's ever acceptable to try to push people beyond how their mental wiring is built/created because you're not going to be able to get into their head and rewire their brain for your own convenience. That's not a comfort zone, that's a mental wiring difference.

Wanting to be left alone when you're going about your daily chores and going about your home time is more than acceptable, especially as grown adults who are expected to have mental maturity and the comprehension that everyone is different.

I was always excited to get home and read books by myself in my room as a child - here's the thing, introversion should be normalized and that doesn't mean that we're not able to be outgoing/social at times, there's a time and a place: the "when" and "who" is our choice.

I love my privacy and personal space, that's why I love living on my own, I would not change it. It's fantastic to recharge my ADHD mind from overstimulation.  

✨✨✨Not needing to be "out" 24/7 isn't a character defect, you can be healthy and happy while absolutely loving a tiny small circle and loving reading, studying, and working multiple lanes: life is better for those who mind their business and don't make impositions on people's space.✨✨✨

The Drain of Shallow Socializing and Constant Chatter:

Social interactions, especially those filled with incessant and shallow chatter, can be particularly draining for introverts with ADHD. Small talk and surface-level conversations often feel meaningless and taxing, consuming mental resources that are already limited. Meaningful interactions are preferred but even these require substantial emotional and cognitive effort. Consequently, these individuals are selective about their social engagements, choosing depth over breadth in their relationships.

I don't live anywhere close to my closest friends and frankly, I don't feel the need to, our bonds are emotional / psychic, which is far beyond what "convenience" based and overly forced "connections" can offer. With a disability / two jobs, I don't have spare time (happily so).

The Sanctity of Home and Personal Time:

Home is a sacred space for everyone, but for introverts with ADHD, it is their ultimate refuge. This is where they can unwind, pursue hobbies, or simply enjoy the peace and quiet necessary for their mental health. Intrusions into this personal time are often seen as violations of their boundaries.

Whether it’s uninvited/unwanted visitors or extended social calls, such interruptions can be deeply unsettling (especially if they also work from home, but to have to explain this sounds insane to them).

The same applies to their gym time, a crucial part of their routine that helps manage ADHD symptoms and reduce stress.

Only an opportunist will try to your private time that is off-limits for their benefit, but your wellbeing and that of your household is your first priority: not giving access to your private time to just anyone - especially acquaintances you just met - only for them to use you at your expense or to fill their desires at your expense when you're not a match for that because you're not available/mentally shut-off/not in social-performance-mode during that segment of your life.

Genuine people respect and accept when they or something does not fit the available segments of your life, they want your wellness rather than leeching off of your time / energy and finding clever ways to ambush you or force themselves into your reality especially in your private spheres like home or gym (this over-rides privacy).

Respecting Boundaries as a Sign of Genuine Care:

True friends and understanding acquaintances recognize and respect these boundaries.

They understand that pushing their way into someone’s private life without consent is intrusive and counterproductive.

Busy people, including those with ADHD, do not go home to entertain others: they go home to relax and recharge.

Attempting to make them the solution to someone else’s loneliness is not only unfair but also detrimental to their mental health.

Respecting an introvert’s need for space and time is a fundamental aspect of genuine care and genuine acquaintanceship or friendship. It demonstrates an understanding that their well-being is paramount and that any relationship should not come at the expense of their mental health.

We balance our lives with insomnia buffers and un-interrupted consecutive mental recharge time outside of our work and business (by choice).

We are not the ones with disposable time, himamity respects basic space and choice in who we allow into our lives and being near my life doesn't mean being in it.

We balance our lives with insomnia buffers and un-interrupted consecutive mental recharge time outside of our work and business (by choice).

There's no "spare" time to be idle or slow down when we have 6 days not 7 due to a crash day.

We are not a fit for bored people without a life of their own who try to orchestrate their way into people's lives rather than respecting their cues and space.

There's nothing more intrusive than going out of their way to force run-in's that otherwise would not happen instead of accepting that some are busy and further connecting on a "social" level isn't an obligation similarly to un-necessary physical contact when not in a crowded space, especially when proximity doesn't mean spare time or automatic trust and also in professional/business relationships that should respect people's time for wellness outside of that service being provided. 

Why try to sneak around to pry for people's information or force connections? This is a sign of boundary problems.

Intruders are not your friends:

You will never find genuine people trying to ambush their way into the segments of your life that are deemed "do not disturb" time either or force un-natural run-in's or demand your personal information (the very trait of clingy people you need to avoid and have every right to if they're getting in the way/slowing down your clearly busy day for their gain at the expense of your sanity like parasites, this level of neediness so early on is going to be a massive headache later, and they're not even dependents which makes it even more irritating). 

The right people will accept and respect your lack of time, interest, and availability and you'll never catch them trying to force their way.

Introverts with ADHD have distinct needs that revolve around conserving energy, managing overstimulation, and protecting their mental health.  

✨They thrive with a small, understanding social circle and need ample alone time to function optimally.✨

Respecting their boundaries—whether in personal or professional settings—is a testament to genuine care and understanding.

It acknowledges that their primary responsibility is their own well-being as it should be as no one can pour from empty, and intruding upon this sanctity without invitation or freely given consent (not imposition and forced connections that are one-sided) is both disrespectful and harmful to their capacity to function and regulate their energy.

ADHD cannot be going from one thing to the next without mental "processing" time carved out which is what errands/chores/gym/home time constitutes (that's personal space/personal space/personal sanctuary time: if you're not my child, dependent, or of my household: don't make the mistake of thinking I will tolerate intrusive/ambushing behaviour: I will not, I expect my private space respected).

Genuine people encourage - do not impede/encroach/intrude on or get in the way of - your wellbeing aka conditions to basic brain function and survival just because they want something from you - genuine people respect the private/quiet spheres of your life, they don't force themselves onto others, and do not see you as an opportunity or a means to an end for their agenda. ✨

No-notifications time is sacred (unless it's an actual dependent, from my household, family emergency), I do not like un-necessary tugs on my mind/brain when in "brain shut down mode" - the right people respect this without questions. I don't deal with entitlement.

😱 You can be nice to some and they'll take it as an invitation to pry further and cling to you (no bandwidth for that, I live alone and happily so by choice) - be neutral to all, but trust few...

We can't know everyone and do everything, we're out here managing multiple lanes.

Genuine (non-pushy and annoying) people don't try to take more than what you have to give and will always encourage you to do what is best for you and choose yourself because you're just being responsible for your obligations and the core requirements to your baseline mental functioning.

It is intrusive to go out of your way to force run-in's with anyone you would otherwise not see normally or monitor their schedule that closely.

People who behave like this (monitoring spirits) deserve to be blanked. You have every right to protect your peace and not engage with stupid or reward idiocy and underhanded "well-meaning" pushy and sneaky tactics.

I will go to many lengths to protect the quiet enjoyment of my property and my comings and goings, not delayed by people who bring nothing to my life other than stress and demands or those I just don't have the time for and who are underhandedly sneaky and pushy or help with strings attached, of course legal lengths.

I don't take a liking to home time invaders (same as gym time ones), respect unavailable time.

People are not "home" - they are are:

Working/managing their household;
Studying;
Reading;
Working out;
Relaxing;
Sleeping. 

Intruders are removed.

I really don't like impositions and forced run in's on the spheres of my life deemed private if I have already clearly refused to share my personal information, what part of unavailable is unclear? 

Genuine people mind their business in general unless otherwise asked. And genuine help doesn't come with strings attached...

Pushy people aren't worried about your wellness and feelings, so do not worry about how you come off when you assert your boundaries, be civil: but don't let anyone pressure their way into your life in such an intimate sphere of all places.

Nothing about me needs to be known for respect for space, privacy, and common lookout for safety to exist. No intrusion needed.

You don't "confront" people who resort to monitoring you after showing disinterest as they're not psychologically safe if they resort to that in the first place. You protect yourself! 

Undermining (lacking acceptance and respect for) someone's choice to not connect further and on top of that, orchestrating forced connections and getting in the way, delaying, and making their daily life more tricky/difficult to navigate is for what exactly? That's a fake person, a hater in disguise. An obstructor of your daily life under the guise of "good" motives... If they didn't want anything from you but your wellness (mutual respect for space and privacy), they'd leave you alone. They would not seek to insert themselves into your life intently... 🚩🚩🚩

Proximity doesn't obligate me to allow people who try to force connections into my life. I am not sure if I said that already. I do not sh*t where I sleep. 

They are not there there to entertain you or to have impositions made on them. Keep it professional, we don't owe you anything aside the time spent getting the service done.

Decency doesn't come with strings attached or trying to infiltrate the most private sphere of your life. I expect my privacy respected as this is designated "do not disturb" time and I leave just enough time to get to and from my destinations on time. Nothing beyond courtesy is really needed here.

And while some may be bored, that's not my responsibility to manage, 2 jobs and a disability is enough.  

You don't have to spend time you do not have in your sanctuary unless they had strings attached. You're a paying client, not an entertainer.

Minding your own business and bothering no one is not turning your nose up at anybody because I'm not comparing myself to anyone except that they are choosing to make someone else's need for peace and quiet about themselves, I'm just focussing on what I need to be focussing on in my own home. That's my time.

We may just don't have the time and it should be accepted - ploys should not be put in place to for un-natural run-in's which would scare most people - being watched that closely by anyone who I don't know that well (at all, ans do not want to) disgusts me.

I think the biggest lesson for the people who go out of their way to bother people who don't bother anybody or those who have clearly stated that they're *unavailable* (and popping up on them isn't going to change the fact that they don't have time) is to live and let live. 👏

I don't rent a property to make friends (both tenants and building staff included) and I'm also not at the gym to make friends. I don't know if that's clear or not by now, but it should be. I'm courteous, graceful, cordial, but I don't "owe" anyone entry into my personal life.

People who think encroachment is warmth don't comprehend the concept of personal space and personal circle belonging to the individual:

There nothing warm about invading people's personal space that doesn't belong to you and there's nothing warm about unnecessary physical touch when you're not in a crowded space because that's very intrusive, warmth is actually respect and there's actually a very high amount of intimacy with people that respect boundaries because they view you as a person with dignity, autonomy, and free choice. Intimacy has nothing to do with physical space encroachment or blatantly boundaries and consideration, it has to do with mutual understanding and respect.

You don't have intimacy without respect. 

I don't take a liking to home time invaders (same as gym time ones), respect unavailable time. Respect the time of paying clients. We're there to relax, not entertain. If you're audacious enough to try to force run-in's which is pushy/controlling, we owe you no further dealings. ⛔️

If you're trying to break into my life and it's in an area of life that is designated *un-available* and off-limits (I do not care what I miss out on by guarding the conditions to my mental health), you should simply accept that I don't have time.

It's usually very easy for grown adults with mature minds to accept that.

Proximity does not mean availability, trustworthiness (clearly not when someone sets off your instincts), or interest.

I'm not a solution to someone else's boredom when I'm here trying to manage a disability with multiple jobs and choosing to provide for myself because I'm a very autonomous person and I'm not going to have anybody get in the way of the enjoyment of the rent that I pay for or the amenities that I look to use in peace and quiet as I'm not out here bothering anybody.

Solution is to restore the peace that I'm paying for, the solution is not to inconvenience myself with unnecessary added expenses. Just because it's below market rent and I've been here for a while doesn't make it acceptable to bother my life. 

If there's an on-site office and an emergency line, there is no legal requirement for tenants under my lease or the law (who pay for privacy) to divulge personal contact information to building staff and non-real-flood-fire entries (each entry, even follow-ups) require notice.

Guarding the peace around your schedule, time without pointless notifications to recharge, your body, your mind, your time, your attention/energy and your life obligations in general (being a responsible adult who manages their life and understands the consequences of missed deadlines), you're setting property lines and safeguarding what belongs to you.

If others do not take their business, work and sleep schedules seriously, that's not your problem. literally trying to make people late because you want to demand their attention as if they don't have places to go? Please learn how to read social cues and actually respect them as inconsiderate foolishness isn't going to get consideration in exchange, it gets peaceful neutrality.

Trying to force anything on anyone who is a grown adult especially is an insult to their autonomy and undermines their freedom, which is a way to stifle their soul all because you want something from them? Again, it's not because you live near someone that you owe them an automatic friendship or connection.

Many have lives outside their immediate vicinity and anyone who assumed young women living alone means bored, easy target, desperate, or available clearly was mistaken. Insulting my intelligence on that level when I work and have a business isn't something they can come back from.

Indirectly making my day-to-day life harder and making it difficult for me to provide for myself is way off. I don't go around bothering people who don't bother anybody. So why are they doing that? They're doing that because they're mad that they couldn't use and get what they wanted from me.

They thought that if they were more persistent and intrusive that I would eventually break my walls down, but in fact, I created higher fences as I should.

It's very possible to be pleasant without invading people's lives and assuming they have the energy time and aren't on their way somewhere and so on.

At the end of the day, if I'm paying for a professional service, I'm looking for client service orientation, respect for my time, and respect for my personal space. 👏

It's not because someone is well-meaning that they have a right to invade the space that is closely around my body, invade my life or disrupt my schedule in any manner.

There has to be a level of common sense where we understand that home is the most sacred space of a person's life, and it should be their sanctuary, and there should not be any invasions of their peace or overly personal questions - it should be pleasant and personable, but never overly personal because that's not warranted, especially when they're paying for a service.

I do not pay rent to have my peace invaded and I should not even be looked at as an option for their personal needs as tenants are OFF-LIMITS, please learn professionalism and if it's appropriate in the first place to intrude on someone's sanctuary? We're not here to serve the egos of those to whom we pay for a service or entertain or exert energy we don't have.

I would not mix my social life with business relationships to whom I pay for a service.

***I mean worry about the work getting done and don't be worried about whether or not I live alone or my relationship status, I can manage my security issues on my own if it's going to lead certain people go get way too comfortable.*** 🚩

 

***People go home to relax and restore their energy and manage their affairs and they should expect to be able to get to their destination on time without ambushes, their massive headphones being indicative of "f*** off" and be quiet while doing chores in peace/quiet without uninvited company following them around - I don't mean polite greetings are an issue - I mean monitoring spirits are an issue who cannot accept your lack of time so they think covertly following you around is going to change that: nope - and I tested it by changing my schedule 25 times as my items disappeared, and return home on time to get to sleep without being ambushed.***

Rude is monitoring people's comings and goings, trying to stop them in their tracks for your gratification and your agenda... Rude is not confidently minding your business and getting to and from home on time and expecting no un-necessary contrived delays by covert-haters who do not care about your obligations, only what they want from you:

I'm not going to slow myself down and explain to someone that I'm in a rush, that's kind of a waste of time and that defeats the purpose of being in a rush, what I'm going to do is keep it moving and expect that they can read my social cues and again, if I have made it clear that I don't have spare time, do not try to force nonexistent time. I'm not going to reward ambush tactics by engaging either because that kind of plays into their hands.

I won't be the one to leave, what I'm going to do is restore the piece that I pay for and expect no personal questions in the future and no unnecessary ambush tactics. I'm not here to meet the personal needs of anybody, I'm actually a client who is paying money to live here in peace.

In the context of client-service: my private time is OFF-LIMITS. ⛔️

As long as I'm cordial and courteous and I don't bother anybody and I'm actually looking out for mutual safety, I don't have any further obligations. I don't have to have my personal life invaded. I'm not going to have my peace compromised for someone else's personal needs. I don't exist for them, I have multiple businesses and a disability.

It's very creative to choose to be offended that someone is unavailable or uninterested in connecting further. It's very interesting to me.

Guarding your boundaries is harming no one and not bothering anyone or getting their way, so accepting disinterest would have been much easier, no?

In a society that often misunderstands introversion and ADHD, recognizing and honouring these needs is a crucial step toward fostering healthier and more respectful relationships.

⛔️⛔️When someone persistently tries to get your personal information to connect with you despite your refusal, it can be considered intrusive behavior. If the persistence involves a repeated and unwanted pursuit, it could also be classified as predatory. Normal people back off and respect LACK OF TIME, they do not try to sneak their way into your life by monitoring your schedule especially AT HOME in the SANCTUARY you PAY for: please keep your personal intrusive questions about my relationship status to yourselves, focus on the work you're paid to do and for the other tenants, please find a hobby other than bothering people who bother no one and who actually look out for mutual safety.⛔️⛔️ 

Everyone deserves a sanctuary free from unwanted impositions, favors, and demands. We are here to relax, not to cater to others. Genuine help should come without strings attached. It's fine if someone has time to spare, but expecting others to handle your responsibilities just because they live nearby is unreasonable. Everyone has their own lives, with many juggling multiple jobs or dealing with disabilities.

If you're only around to make others' lives harder for your own benefit, you're acting like a leech (I don't explain my stress levels or busy levels to those who disregard cues). At that point, I only owe neutrality.

Proximity does not entitle you to be included in their grocery orders; they're not your roommates. People barely manage their own lives and households and don't have the mental space for additional burdens.

Respect that others have lives outside their immediate living space, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I never a signed codependent pushy friendship agreement. 

***Socializing at home is fine, but retaliating against someone for not being interested is not. Imposing and pushing further isn't okay.***

People who want FOR you and not FROM you will not try to force time and energy you do not have in your budget. Period. Protect your peace!

A monitoring spirit is *trying to use you* for something, that's literally it. 

Free choice, free will, we choose for ourselves. 

People who disregard your mental energy and bandwidth limits, and fail to recognize that you lack the energy to connect further than what the situation *even requires* in the first place, are trying to use you. They lack empathy and compassion for others' disabilities, schedules, and commitments, and only want something from you. So, why worry about their feelings if they don't care about yours? Why be concerned about those who don't respect your free choice on who to allow into your private life, boundaries and those who try to delay you as if that's normal?

The solution is to leave the private ones alone, *accept* their lack of time instead of trying to force your way into their days and expecting to be able to stop them in their track and make them late for your gratification at the expense of their already stressful schedule, and go find others with the same needs as you.

Being courteous, quick yet quiet nods/smiles, respecting shared space, but while also keeping to myself harms no one (you cannot force closeness on any level where consent doesn't exist, proximity doesn't obligate me to share personal information especially that I already lookout for mutual safety and I do not make noise or bother others, it's not a requirement to be friends - I peacefully keep to myself):

You do not "miss out" when you recharge mental energy with guard-rails around that time when you are aware of your wiring: you "align" so you can pour into your real commitments correctly and with full presence: this may seem guarded, but it is how we ensure not running on empty for actual commitments.

Your boundaries do not infringe on the rights of others and investing in your wellness (basic survival) doesn't steal, bother, or destroy someone else's. Oneness is an imperative to harm no one, it's not codependence or acting like someone else owes you their own self-sacrifice (i.e. segments of their life that are designated breathing spaces to manage their ADHD mind and multiple jobs - even if that's a lifestyle choice they've made consciously - it should be respected without pushy intrusion).

Anyone who disregards the limits of your availability and signals shouldn't have access to your time: you do not need to slow yourself down and make yourself late to explain busy signals and cues, that's insane, if they do not pick up on it, they're not for you and people who do not understand what having multiple priorities is like will never respect your focus so you don't owe them anything. If you refuse and someone insists: please rest assured that inconsiderate people are owed nothing. Rude gets them neutrality, not kindness. 

I am interested in synchronicity, not forced friendships and forced connections who manipulate the concept of proximity to their advantage at the expense of my mental recharge time for my disability which comes before anyone outside my household: it's exhausting and draining.

I would not want to engage with those who resort to schedule monitoring or waiting at night when no one is around, I will be focusing on protecting myself in my own home of all places. I am also not a fan of people who cross professional boundaries when I am a paying client.

It's one thing to be caring, it's another to invade privacy for reasons other than helping with safety concerns: I want no part in that.

I will be protecting and restoring my peace.

I won't allow distraction into my home space or have my comings and goings obstructed in an orchestrated manner, who wants to be delayed anyway? How do they think that people are going to respond to that? I would not reward foolishness with any reaction.

We do not "owe" anyone any level of closeness, companionship, or any level of intimacy without it being *our* choice and frankly, my home space belongs to me and I am not there to make friends as this is my place to recharge my overactive mind. Not to have stress or demands on my schedule and certainly not to be delayed and stalled with my comings and goings, let's please not normalize waiting around for people and ambushing (not a natural thing) them like trolls.

I live on my own by choice, I am busy, and I love it: I am not here to inherit people who want to act like housemates and act like people have no choice over who they let into their personal lives. I am responsible for guarding my mental health and getting to and from my commitments on time so blatant bulldozing is absolutely not okay with me.

Healing involves saying "no" to:

• Feeling guilty for prioritizing yourself.
• Demanding people who, as strangers, display overfamiliarity and entitlement, which would only worsen over time.

Inconsideration for the time of others and making my daily life more difficult makes you a nuisance (a nuisance who views people as an extension of their agenda, despite being a paying client):

🔥Everyone has a right to different boundaries, but forcing connections is not acceptable to me and disregarding my clear lack of time by sneaking around my comings and goings to make my life more difficult by causing un-necessary delays, do they think persistence and sneakiness is going to get them anywhere with me other than on a list of people to avoid as they're now interfering with my peace (that I pay for) and daily life running on schedule? The good thing is seeing the bulldozing early without needing further involvement to figure out ulterior motives which any level of manipulation and persistence reveals.🔥

I am pretty sure that everyone has places to be and schedules in life and if this makes me "think I am better than" - no worries because I have nothing in common with bulldozers who want to force their way into my life even if it means delaying my time and making my life more difficult aka at my expense, rather than accepting that we can't have time for everyone and everything and my right to live in peace as I am not out here bothering anyone - I am simply choosing how I spend my time and choosing to protect my safety from intruders.

We're grown adults, accept people's lack of time and energy, and move on, we *choose* who we allow into our private lives and invading people's sanctuaries is off-limits and making their daily life harder by forcing ambushes is not okay with me and again, that makes them a straight up nuisance to minimize or cut contact with it possible. ⛔️

"Friendly" people don't persist to get your private information when you say no and they certainly do not lurk at your comings and goings like little toddlers who cannot *accept* a NO: looking to deliberately get in your way (forcing NON-existent time via bulldozing that is masked as just being friendly when it is not at all: it is breaking your boundary and disrespecting your time) for their gratification at your expense as if clients are paying for demands on their time? 

***Door cameras should be a standard in the absence of hallway ones, and not invading the lives of people paying money for peace and privacy aka professionalism should also be standard. Protect your peace, security, and privacy. I'm sure they can find someone else to entertain them (both the intrusive staff and the intrusive tenants: my life is outside my immediate vicinity, no level of delusional persistence will change that, but I will certainly speak up about it).***

Any help is included in the rent payment and if not, there should be no strings attached as we don't owe personal relationships to places we pay for a service to.

***You respect the "zone of privacy" that is people's comings and goings as they have lives, commitments, and obligations and seeking to intrude/delay/lurk/bother/bulldoze instead of accepting lack of time, interest, and availability is a nuisance: go to a bar or something because I will ensure intrusions stop before they go any further and I am a paying client at the end of the day so I am not afraid of these people's pushy-sneaky-underhanded tactics.***

YOU DO NOT OWE EMOTIONAL INTIMACY, YOUR PERSONAL SPACE, OR PERSONAL INFORMATION WHEN THERE IS NO BASIS FOR IT (or you're just too busy to maintain contact so it is pointless, their best bet is to find others with similar needs or who are available for favours/sharing resources but please stop expecting it from everyone).

Intruders and those delay or bring imposition to your life are often disguised as well-meaning to stop you from pushing back on their invasiveness, you’re the recipient so you have a right to refuse regardless of their so-called intentions as genuine people back off easily.

If the only way to run into someone is by forcing it and looking to catch them at a certain time, you are bothering their daily schedule, making them late, and disrespecting them. Accept the lack of time and move on because this is a bad look and I will think twice before asking for help to the wrong people in the future to prevent intrusion knowing I live in a cesspool of monitoring spirits and basic professionalism is a massive burden to try to obtain in some cases.

I have two jobs and a disability, I won't have anyone from a place especially where I am a paying client make impositions on my schedule and zones of privacy if I have not made that clear yet, I am happy to be to be clearer: I do not pay rent to have anyone invade my peaceful sphere with their demands and do not ask me for my information twice. Also, do not think that people who live alone owe you anything, we love our privacy and have lives and disabilities to manage, we can't keep up with more people and many don't want forced social relationships with other tenants or building staff as it's not a real requirement and intrudes on quiet peaceful mental recharge time amidst many jobs and a disability which is time consuming. I don't have time for forced friendships and my tenancy is on an ADHD accommodation to protect peace.

I don't want, need, or tolerate (I do not have time or interest) personal or social relationships with people whom I pay for professional services or business services, there's a way to be caring without being intrusive so that line is not to be crossed with me. 

If there is no available time, you back off - you do not invade their only time off in life.

They could be a good person and you don't have TIME,  but good people are not insistent pestilent nuisances who try to sneak their way into the lives of people (humans) who are extremely busy and tired via means they try to play off as friendly yet it is intrusive and no one "owes" anyone a connection that is forced at their own expense and especially not when they're a paying client expecting professionalism and not looking to be robbed of basic professionalism since some thing women who live alone have spare time to entertain them: we don't, go find strippers or something.

I can be more clear in the future, but I should not have to lose my grace due to persistent nuisances either... 

I live alone by *choice* and I love my independence... and I am far from bored and far from "available" as proximity to my life isn't automatic entry, do not even try to intrude on the peace I pay for, it won't work. Not getting to use me. Nope. 🚩

Rather than bulldozing, try "accepting" basic boundary differences for overall peace and learn to respect people's disinterest/not having time, and only when you have two jobs and a disability - you should not have an opinion on how others spend their time and earn a living: you do not delay people's comings and goings (after seemingly monitoring people) for your own ulterior motives: proximity is not automatic comfort or trust, everyone has a choice who they allow into their lives. Being peaceful is accepting that some don't want anything beyond a smile, nod, quick courtesy as their lives lie elsewhere. No amount of pestering will change that. 

I will not over-ride my instincts, schedule with no spare time, or boundaries for anyone else's disrespect and lack of acceptance of my disinterest and lack of time, learn to accept that not having time is part of life and stop making someone else's boundaries about you. I am not the last person who won't have time either, it's 2024.

Those who try to compel you to spend time or energy you don't have are control freaks and manipulators, and you should avoid them especially if they try to force their way in via sneaky means they can play off as friendly when it's actually forceful manipulation and making your daily schedule delayed (the principle of not delaying people's day is basic math).

Some want to know what you're about to find out what they can gain from you or use you for. 

***Imagine feeling entitled to someone's personal life or space without their prior permission? We call that bulldozing.***

Those who assume you have spare time don't mean you any good, everyone has schedule limits, this is basic. Demanding, pestering, and imposing is a sign of a fake detractor disguised as "good" when their actions and insistence show you they're a control-freak to avoid.

Just like those who over-sell themselves (you would not have to say you're trustworthy if you actually were), intensively personal questions upon first meeting is a flag. Don't you worry about if I live alone or my relationship status, I owe you no such information - as a paying client: I am not responsible for their personal needs.

Anyone who is trying to be "instant" friends is over-riding that trust is built and we don't have time for everyone anyway nor is it realistic, assuming familiarity is already a flag that someone isn't good with personal space and time boundaries, why have further dealings?

Selfish is refusing to care about the feelings and the consent of the person from whom you are looking to take the thing that you're looking to take (resources, energy, time, attention, imposing or forcing connections or bonds, anything else).

I keep my business relationships separate from my private life and home time is private time. My social life is not at home. 

Meaning well doesn't nullify our right to our personal space, our autonomy over it, and our ownership over our very sacred home space.

We need ONLY the *right* people and respecting choice/free will, time, energy, privacy, personal space, is a great place to start. If they want to control and bully their way into your circle, that's a problem. 

Imagine thinking that someone else does not have a choice about who they let into their personal space and life?

Early erosions of autonomy snowball over a span of time. People with multiple jobs (by choice) and a disability have extra reason to block off certain segments of their life. I have never met a home or gym intruder that I like, grown adults respect timing. They respect those protective-of-mental-health-requirement boundaries.

***Someone who doesn’t respect your time, space, and free will: does not respect you, them meaning well does not nullify your right to protect your mental health and peace: in your *home* time of all places! People who encroach do not mean you any good. Remove them.*** 

Theres is nothing nice and sweet about people trying to bulldoze their way into their life and manipulate and con you into unwanted connections that don't feel safe from the onset and think they're owed something after delaying you while seeing you rushing in and out - so making your already-busy schedule more pressured and adding difficulty to you life (how dare you not exist for randoms). Trust your instincts with these types of shady intruders. They are not for you if they feel icky even if they seem nice on the surface, trust your instincts and do not depend on them for anything (that's an entry way into your life which isn't owed especially if you're a paying client or there's no logical basis).

🔥🔥🔥When their reaction to your refusal or boundaries is to try to sneak their way into your schedule or try to force unnecessary run-ins (forcing non-existent time and eroding your right to choices), that would not never happen organically, you are getting more confirmation as to why you should not have been dealing with those people in the first place.🔥🔥🔥

It's important to distance oneself from people who feel entitled to others' time, energy, and resources simply because of proximity and who clearly lack respect for time and basic schedule obligations. Such individuals often overlook the personal responsibilities and hidden burdens that others carry, showing a disregard for boundaries and an inclination to impose and demand.

Choosing to work with a disability due to "brain mechanical maintenance" obviously means that there are trade-offs and other areas of life and I clearly have accepted that fact which is why those who do not respect my
time and energy are not my vibe.

People should be civil and considerate, but living nearby doesn't mean they have the right to invade your space. Some individuals neither need nor want additional social interactions or more people in their life that they can afford to keep up with.

For many, home is their only refuge and place to relax without additional demands and intrusions. It's important to respect that choice. Don't worry about people living alone if they clearly love it and you aren't invited to be bothered by what is none of your business: living alone is not an invitation or a sign of availability.

You should not ever confront, engage with, or have any further dealings with anyone who displays behaviours such as monitoring the schedule of strangers, forcing run-ins with them or any level of lurking whether or not it is well meaning because not only is it unsafe to do so, they are already showing controlling tendencies and allowing them anywhere in your life or near you is a bad idea no matter what anyone wants to say about their so-called "good" intentions. Your safety is your biggest concern. Stop dealing with anyone who tries to force their way into your day-to-day as they're refusing to accept that you have no time and are already struggling to manage your schedule, let alone be delayed by people you do not know and did not invite to wait for your comings and goings. 🚩

I don't have to be friends with anyone just because they live nearby as if I don't already have a busy life.

I think that trying to encroach on people at home of all places isn't appropriate for building staff as these are business relationships so stay out of the realm of people's homes and find somewhere else to look? Clearly, due to the time and place, it wasn't meant to be and those right for me would not dare to violate my privacy and property enjoyment rights by taking a business relationship that should be pleasant and professional trying to make it more than what it is. I did not sign up for that and living nearby doesn't force me to connect with anyone on any level of intimacy...  (and connections and friendships are a form of intimacy that is a choice, but not okay when it's a representative of the landlord and you're paying for peace and privacy, not personal demands and if their help with security was genuine: there would be no intrusiveness) ...beyond cordiality because it'a a personal choice and people have energy and time limits.

The infiltration of my circle isn't a tactic that will work on me. I have a small circle by choice. My business runs online, the right people respect the limits of my availability and those who don't absolutely deserve none.

I refuse to deal with or engage with people who think that forcing run-ins and forcing nonexistent time is acceptable or normal, that level of persistence is not acceptable to me (stop trying to create non-existent time by lingering around as if people don't eventually pick up on the shady nonsense: it is them trying to force non-existent availability instead of respecting that home is off-limits time and humans have a choice).

It's a lack of respect for the fact that I don't have time. It's a lack of respect for the schedule of busy people who are already struggling to manage everything on time and now you're going to add the obstacle of trying to force your way into our lives when we don't have time? Just accept that some people are busy and they don't have the time and move on. These are not even people I know well enough for this to be warranted either (not that it ever is, but there is even less basis when it is borderline strangers).

People without agendas back off easily and don't make you question whether your refusal was clear enough (it was, but they want to conceal their refusal to respect you as a misunderstanding). 🚩

Unavailable time is unavailable time, get with it or get lost. You're not to go into the red zone or making your schedule delayed for anyone who doesn't manage your household, pay your bills, manage your disability or dependents. Don't let anyone in your life who needs explanations on the basics. Steer clear. 👏 

We owe obeying the law, something most of these people may subtly struggle with...