Avoiding People Who Think They Need to Understand a Boundary to Respect It
Boundaries are personal limits we set to protect our physical, emotional, and mental health. They are deeply personal and can vary greatly from person to person. The essence of a boundary is that it doesn't need external validation; it is valid simply because it reflects your comfort and needs.
When someone insists they need to understand your boundaries before they can respect them, several issues arise:
Boundaries are about personal autonomy. If someone needs to understand your reasons before respecting them, they are essentially saying that your autonomy isn’t enough—they need to control or validate your decisions (and drain your time when you don't answer to them on matters of your own personal jurisdiction and you have a right to privacy).
This insistence often stems from a desire to control the situation. By demanding an explanation, the person might be attempting to manipulate you into changing your boundary to suit their preferences.
They mistakenly think that their approval is a requirement for the existence of your boundaries and they think that they need to validate your responsibility towards needs and that is very toxic. It sounds like a God-complex! You have to stay away from people like that if you can.
Constantly explaining and justifying your boundaries can be exhausting. It takes emotional energy that could be better spent on positive and supportive connections not seeking to dominate you.
When someone questions your boundaries, they are implicitly undermining your authority over your own life. This can lead to self-doubt and weakened resolve.
Why Avoid Such People?
Interacting with people who don’t respect your boundaries can cause significant emotional distress, leading to anxiety, stress, and even mental health issues like depression.
Dealing with these individuals can be a time-consuming and draining process. Your energy is better spent on people who respect you without needing constant explanations.
Surround yourself with people who respect and support your boundaries. Positive reinforcement from others can bolster your confidence.
Respecting boundaries is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships. If someone requires an explanation to respect your boundaries, it indicates a lack of respect for your autonomy and the existence of normal and basic personal needs (this is toxic in it of itself).
By avoiding such individuals, you protect your emotional well-being and create space for relationships that are genuinely supportive and respectful.
Remember, your boundaries are valid simply because they reflect your comfort, protection, and valid needs—no further explanation required (their approval isn't required either, the fact that they think they have any authority over your rights and personal responsibilities landing within your jurisdiction is self-centred on their part and undermining your autonomy in your own life).
Respect yourself enough to enforce your boundaries and seek relationships that honor them. Your well-being depends on it.