I find it quite frustrating when individuals suddenly appear in my life solely to gather information about me, seemingly to relay it to someone else. It bothers me because I can easily sense when this is happening, and honestly, I feel it's rather ridiculous. I believe people should feel comfortable enough to directly approach me with any questions if they are already in my life instead of relying on intermediaries. What makes them think I am unboundaried enough to give near-strangers information about myself?
I share parts of my life online, but that's not the same as indiscriminately allowing just anyone in my actual life without a vetting process.
It just bothers me when people think they should have more sway in my life than me. I know that putting out some parts of my life online is going to attract some opinions, but at the same time, it's for entertainment purposes.
People who actually care about you: care about your authenticity, and they're not going to be trying to control your life as if you have no personal agency and autonomy.
You not doing what someone else wants from you doesn't make you bad, mean, or stuck-up. They should respect your choices. You do not need people who punish boundaries around you.
You're cold and selfish to anyone who cannot manipulate you because you protect yourself now, oh well!
You don't have to spend time and energy that you don't have at the expense of your own oxygen mask/household first or tolerate anything in your life that you feel violates your personal autonomy and freedom.
You have the discernment to know that people who are coming into your life to take are the ones trying to control you as they didn't come into your life to invest. Only people with an agenda are insistent on forcing themselves onto you.
If my instincts are going off about a person or a situation, even if everyone else likes them, I'm going to follow my own intuition (and protect myself) because I have a right to think for myself, and the people that are mad that they can no longer control me were never my friends to begin with. May every bridge I burn by being myself light the way!
You were not born to appease, you were born to evolve and express. I change rapidly and I barely can keep up with myself, why should I care what anyone outside my household wants me to do with my life?
Some are just mad that you saw through them and did not let them destroy aka bleed you dry of your time and energy. Self-preservation is not paranoid, it's basic common sense and discernment (and a good time management strategy because we cannot possibly miss out on anything we do not have time for). We cannot know everyone or do everything, so we have absolutely no interest in people who try to take out their control issues on us.