Happiness Definitions Vary Individually
Happiness is unique to each individual, and what brings joy to one may not resonate with another. To find true happiness, prioritize understanding and respecting your own desires, preferences, and values, and make decisions that resonate with your sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.
People who are soothing to your soul will actually enjoy encourage autonomy and respect you for being yourself, they are not going to make you responsible for *their* insecurities around the boundaries of others or the mere existence of boundaries (they won't try to control you).
Not all company is good company! If being away from certain people causes your normal way of being and your normal health to come back, that was the right decision.
Introverts who enjoy a small circle can actually put more energy into fewer people which is actually why we do this (logistics and inability to keep up with too many people, it's just not smart time-wise especially when you have 6 days not 7 days to live due to a severe disability needing a full sleep-ADHD-crash day unbothered except kids or dependents weekly). Higher quality and depth also matters to us.
A time-consuming health condition limits my time for too many people and I am fine with that PERSONAL choice (that belongs to me).
Just like my gym time being entirely off-limits except for my own household, insomnia buffers will forever be a daily need which means: unless it's a necessary part of my functioning/survival, or the survival of my craft or business, it's an automatic "no." I am not looking for new connections at this time. I nurture the personal and business circle I already have, all else happens organically.
Although I don't depend on very many people, there are people that my discernment tells me are very genuine and reliable, so I'd rather focus all my energy on fewer people than have a high quantity of low-quality counterfeits. I prefer gold, not gold-planet.
Those who are more extroverted may not grasp how you find happiness without a big circle of friends, but introverts will get it. So, no, you're not odd. If you're content, that's what matters.
I may be outgoing, but I have a limited social battery. It is what it is. Genuine people will respect the limits of my availability or lack of it.
No one can sleep, nutrition, or fitness on my behalf and a disability is time-consuming enough, I do not tolerate needless pressure from people I just met especially: real ones work around my health, the rest are free to head for the door.
The person dealing with the consequences of derailed health, derailed schedules, derailed obligations: is you, so why would anyone (unless they're a dependent) come before that? It would imply twisted thinking if there was even a hint of thinking someone or something is going to compete with your oxygen mask.
It's usually the most entitled takers who would not put you before them, so why would you bend over backwards when they'll ask for a different shade of red when you bleed?
Be careful who you call a "friend" is all I am saying, some are looking for perks and not genuine emotional connections (they care about personal gain and do not mind exploiting your time or labour even with a disability which is not something I deal with).
If they're trying to force themselves onto you and telling you that they're a good person, a good person doesn't erode your lack of time or interest like a leech who has nothing to offer you that is of the same value to you as you give to them, but they do not mind depleting you if you let them and trust me when I say: they do not care about the consequences on you.
I am very difficult... to use, that is.
I embrace requiring replenishment as I already have enough issues with a disability and I do not tolerate fake friends who are convenience-based takers. They're not a registered charity so I expect reciprocity. No ocean-crossing for those who can't jump puddles (no returns for no investments, reciprocity only).
The conditions to your well-being are non-negotiable, and anyone who fails to recognize that doesn't deserve a place in your life. It's self-care, not selfish as you're not infringing on or using anyone else at their expense for an agenda, you're preserving your peace.
"Difficult" means you have personal goals, health needs, and don't let just anyone into your life. Who would expect you to have unlimited time?
And?
Those offended by your boundaries are the very people you need to steer clear from as they do not value your time and wellness, they're takers.
Evaluate the connections in your life periodically:
Is it healthy?
Is it adding to your health?
Is it helping you as much as you give?
Is it adding mutual love and value?
Is it a bottomless sink-hole of one-sided taking, non-replenishment or resentful replenishment as if requiring reciprocity is criminal (it is to those who want to use you and want you to smile while being taken for granted like a dummy with no life purpose of your own), and riddled with inconsistency?
Managing a small circle takes plenty of energy already. However, I won't tolerate anyone in my life who needs explanations about my basic survival needs due to my disability, which I can't outsource (it's an oxygen mask and mental wheelchair and I will not tolerate pointless pressures in my life). I don't need anyone that much to be honest. Being authentic and having boundaries goes hand-in-hand and the people that don't like you being your fullest expression (having basic rights over your own life, wow what a concept) should have headed for the door a while ago if they're still here, if so, what are you waiting for? Get out.
Your stress tolerance should only be used on "necessary" stress, not on anything superfluous that has no ROI and brings pointless chaos (you don't have to prove your resilience or break your back for those who bring nothing to the table).
I also believe in giving your overflow in a manner that respects your baseline survival first, so people who only want small circles are much harder to manipulate.