Your Circle = Your Choice

Your mental health and obligations are more important than the filters/how others "view" you.

You are under no obligation to share yourself with anyone you do not wish to.

Never let anyone convince you otherwise.

I love my own company too much to settle for the wrong circle. Everyone is curated.

You belong to yourself.

Your time is your own.

You do not owe yourself to anyone who isn't actually from your household with a real basis for obligation.

You can't make time that you don't have. That doesn't make any sense (if the person is as good of a person as they claim, they'll respect that).

You owe doing no harm and bothering no one, but in terms of forceful connections, that over-rides your autonomy to choose who you allow into your life and such people are usually parasites (you give an inch, they take a mile).

Convenience (or proximity) doesn't dictate my circle, spiritual connection plays a part and sometimes:

I JUST DO NOT HAVE SPARE TIME AND ENERGY. 

And anyone who tries to be sneaky and manipulative about your lack of time is telling you in no clearer terms that they do not care about your personal obligation towards your basic wellness requirements. That's not someone you want future dealings with. 

It is absolutely a choice... I rather have fewer higher quality people of my own choosing that are for life than through fleeting circumstances as I don't invest in users (temporary people and situations).

Naturally, people who respect autonomy and independence last longer in my circle than those looking for puppets. In choice-based circles aka within our own lives, we have the final say in who is in our circle.

You will never be dragged down by people who have a purpose, goals, and hobbies. While their situation is unfortunate, you choose how you spend your time and protecting your wellbeing from those looking to latch on (with no personal responsibility) at your expense is critical.

I think we need to be clear that a friend who has a heart for you will want your well-being even if it means you're less available or not available to them. They would never ask you to sacrifice your oxygen supply (vice versa). They would encourage you to do what is best for you (mutually so).

I value depth in connections, which is why I keep fewer. Over-exertion for a social connection that's not even your dependent makes absolutely no sense to me because my relationship with myself (lifelong) and my disability (nutrition, exercise, sleep) trumps anyone who wants more from me than what is logistically possible. Ties of the heart win as they're not geographically dependent (spiritual connections, not fake ones).

A "friend" is mutual care for wellness, not added stress, chaos, or taking. I deserve supportive genuine people in my life, I am a person with a disability and multiple lanes, go find your free advice (when this is their only reason for befriending you) and discounts elsewhere, I will not be disrespected, robbed of my limited work hours, and used. I help more than enough humanity-wide with content and charity work.

We also choose which segments of our lives we deem to be quiet time vs. social time and introverts need more quiet. 

Discernment is a GIFT. Who wants to be drained over and over?

We finally learn our lesson and thankfully, for me, it happened quickly.

Just from a logical mathematical budget standpoint: you can like a topic/person/situation and not have time for it, and what's not going to be cut into is mental health recovery time for anything that isn't an actual in-house obligation, I won't apologize for my survival. I don't like intrusion and pushiness whether it is overt or covert.

Neurodiversity means understanding that everyone recharges differently and everyone has a different level of "social" battery energy available.

We don't live in tribes anymore... 

Needing less interaction doesn't mean we hate people, it means we have a different way to balance our nervous system.

I don't mind my authenticity being misunderstood, it weeds out the wrong people which is a blessing.

Self-compassion:

Due to having to cram my life into 6 days a week rather than 7 due to ADHD crash day which keeps me burnout free due to insomnia, I am unable to be everywhere and I no longer make apologies for managing my health/disability. 💯

People who are confident and comfortable in who they are and in their own skin are not going to be bothered in the slightest by the different lifestyles and boundaries of others.

I count my close friends on one hand and that's where I am at, I am cocooning after having my identity stolen and being hacked from every angle (my phone, socials, store, computer). I do not trust easily and I do not care what anyone wants to say about it, I am who I am.

Live and let live. I get to choose who I allow in my private life, period.