Not My Responsibility

 *I will not be silenced and I'm speaking from my perspective, and I'm not naming any names.*

Choosing WHO we share our private sphere of life with is one of the most basic tenets of personal freedom and autonomy! Holy sh*t it's not complicated that for busy people: home time is private time.

Whoever wants to put their desires/wants above your privacy RIGHTS and *clear busy signals* when trying to manage your baseline obligations and NON-availability to stop for their ambushes beyond a smile/nod and anyone trying to make more than a very fast pleasant personable (but not personal or personal information sharing) greeting a requirement is delusional because their disrespect for your different levels of mental bandwidth or time sin't your issue to suffer over.  I didn't sign up for roommates and no one needs to know anything about me that I choose not to share as proximity doesn't dictate to me who I allow into my life, welcome to 2024: there are laws against unwanted social relationships! Find someone else to use and find someone else's energy to steal! :)

Those trying to stall others are not looking to add anything to their lives except delay/distraction, they are clearly looking to "take" because otherwise, they would just back off.

Imagine retaliating because a stranger did not allow you to delay or get in the way of their day because you chose not to read busy signals and you thought that delaying their sleep schedule was a good idea upon waiting for their arrival when you're not their housemate or roommate like if that's normal behaviour? That's distracting to busy people's daily schedule and they don't owe you anything past a polite nod/smile when you're choosing to delay them and put your desires above their wellbeing and obligations? Really? Take my boundaries as you wish, but do not make it my issue!

The retaliation showed there was an agenda beyond just being "nice" or "friendly" which is such an easy cover-up by all involved, enablers included.

If you don't understand something or someone, you just stay out of the way. It's very simple. You don't try to make people spend time or mental energy that they don't have when they're struggling to manage their schedule already with two jobs and a disability and you don't go around making the lives of strangers mean something about yourself and you don't go around trying to demand connections that don't make sense or that they don't have time for.

You don't need people in your life who clearly want something from you at the expense of your private time at home which is off-limits that you've already made it clear that it's off-limits. I have the right to personal space and privacy around my DOMICILE! They can go find people with more time and leave the private ones alone because it's 2024 and I'm not obligated to let anybody into my life or private time/space unless I so choose. A very quick nod/cordial greeting should be the limit and an acceptable one for those who value privacy.

I find it very "cave person" and "reptilian" to think that you own the private space of a stranger and that you're entitled to encroaching that time and space with no regard for boundaries. NO connection is to be forced.

Part of humanity is having boundaries because that's what dignity and personal autonomy over one's own space is about and those who don't respect this and think that they can just over-ride the schedule and obligations of a stranger (impositions are rude) even if it just means getting to sleep on time because you shouldn't be obstructed in your day-to-day life just trying to go about your daily business with people unwontedly following your schedule and literally getting in the way, it's kind of weird... This is far from kindness, this is control.

I don't have roommates, I'm not telling anybody my personal information, nobody needs to know what I do for a living, nobody needs to know anything about me that I don't want to share just because of proximity, that's manipulating proximity for unwanted intimacy, and I'm not tolerating any of it!

To feel entitled to my personal dwelling place and scoffing at my do not disturb sign is insane to me because I shouldn't even need a sign like that in the first place.

This is the most private space of a person life, and whatever I share online is strictly online, I expect my day-to-day life to be unobstructed and strictly unbothered by delays and disruptions.

I'm not going to compromise my personal comfort levels for anybody on this planet as there is no requirement to be socially involved with anyone just because they live nearby, absolutely not. 🚩🚩🚩

Unless they're in immediate need of an ambulance, nobody has any right to bother me in my private personal space that is my home.

They can feel slighted all they want and take it personal all they want and do all of the mischief in the world that they want, but that's going to end up costing them in the end because all I did was ***not*** allow my time/schedule to be disrespected by ambushers thinking it's acceptable to wait for me at night or any time, this is so *NOT* acceptable.

Educating such people will not make them stop, neither will appeasing them and neither is that your job!

The fact that anyone thinks they're entitled to your personal information (in real life), your time beyond fast courtesies if you're not ambushed, and to barge into your day to day: is not someone who is using logic and not someone you owe consideration to (just peaceful neutrality) because they're not considering your time and obligations or considering you a human with rights to privacy and they want to take from you as genuine kindness will back off at the FIRST sign of disinterest and *NEVER* interrupt your home time and space like they own your space (nope, my home time is private time and I expect to be left alone beyond basic courtesy but whoever thinks I am going to pack my schedule less to appease their impositions: why can't you find other people with the same needs as you and leave the ones with no mental energy alone and respect that they have their own lives and you're not entitled to knowing anything about them but you're not about to make them uncomfortable in their space because they refuse to bow down to you or make themselves late to their schedule running on time as caring people do not seek to delay strangers for their gratification as they respect the wellness of others and don't view people as inanimate objects existing to appease them with no life of their own): they are looking to make impositions on the privacy and private time of others, waste their time in the process, hound them, follow their schedule, and view them as an extension of themselves which is not friendly: it's actually very intrusive.  

***Having an online audience isn't an invitation to having an in-real-life audience and the fact that someone would treat a strangers' private personal domicile as an entitlement to access it or their personal private information as something they "must" know rather than the target's choice to share is a massive red flag and it is a form of imposing *unwanted* intimacy and *manipulating* the situation using "proximity" to forge NON-existent NON-requirements and make it seem legitimate when it is not at all the case.***

Adult relationships/connections on any level are voluntary... 

Humanity is about respecting free will and basic boundaries. 

Are people snobs, rude, acting better than... Or are they unable to recover after interruptions because of a severe (invisible) disability or just in a hurry, how is someone else's boundary and time management a reflection of another person? No. People need time "off-limits." No one has a right to demand their home time as if that belonged to them, that's ridiculously intrusive.

You go home to mentally recharge and relax, I don't fw with anyone who views me as an extension of their agenda or gets in the way of my schedule running on time. Anyone insisting on anything beyond polite and fast greetings has an agenda and tries to force personal information out of people, sorry but nosey people aren't caring: they're controlling and bulldozer like and no one is required to spend time they do not have to appease people who have made them uncomfortable gang-monitoring them as if they were paid on an assignment. Gross. Mind your business.

You're *not* required to spend time you do not have, be late to your sleep schedule or daily commitments, or share your private information with anyone just because of proximity (trustworthy or not, your space belongs to you). Period. As long as you respect space, noise, and security, those trying to force you beyond a smile/nod/very quick greeting have an agenda and see you as an extension of their sneaky game.

Genuine people don't make the time limits of strangers about themselves and they don't insist on delaying your daily schedule or sleep schedule.

I won't be a gossip topic or a willing victim of prying. 😱

Blatantly bulldozing/delaying people (and ignoring busy signals) or getting in the way of their day because they think they’re supreme above their obligations is not a sign of people who respect your time. It’s the definition of entitled and childish. 

The worst thing you can do is feed into nosey people. 

***No one with sense will make anyone out to be the bad one for wanting to be left alone on the private spheres of their life (home and gym for me), this is what being responsible for one's own mental recharge time and obligations (requiring energy replenishing) looks like.*** No one has time for everything and everyone. Period.

Stop making someone else's busy schedule who works two jobs about yourselves when you add nothing to their lives except unfounded non-required demands and chaos/mischief? Trolls much? 

I do not put up with that, best wishes, but keep your distance from me with that childish and entitlement-minded pollution.

***Orchestrated ambushes are not tolerated by me and repeated ones, much less, that's clearly not genuine and it's an agenda that does not care when you're on time to your personal obligations - as long as they get what they were trying to use you for which is the opposite of humanity because organized-bothering-operations disrespect boundaries for a reason: the lines stop them from crossing you, they will scoff and gossip at "do not disturb" door signs on my *private* home time as if they expected me to not have boundaries? Why is that!? It was sickeningly well organized as I changed my schedule so often and this is bordering on fixation. My personal space is more important than whoever wants to make my boundaries about themselves and use that to justify their covert retaliation campaign as if they own the place, they do not.***

The way to get along is to leave people alone if that's what they want... I have no requirement of destroying my schedule with two jobs and a disability because some people are not satisfied with a quick smile and not and went out of their way to ambush me and I wasn't going to reward that kind of behaviour with any engagement because most people are fine with a cordial greeting and they keep it moving.

If they have an abundance of time, they should go find others with an abundance of time. Clearly I am not the one.

It's not because they live nearby that they have to be involved in my life because it's my choice. And my HOME TIME IS OFF-LIMITS. I do not "owe" anyone a connection that is UNWANTED: they can sneakily somewhat-follow people around all they want, I do not condone foolishness with entertaining it. I have a right to be busy and in a hurry in my daily life and not be delayed needlessly with foolish antics that aren't genuine greetings, but people trying to bulldoze. If you give an inch, they'll take a mile and I am not opening myself up to further needy clingy nonsense.

It's clearly not genuine if it's contrived and bordering on following someone... Get a life?

You don't have to educate people who resort to this and you don't have to deal with them! There is *no* basis for it, we do not share a driveway or a lawn and causing me chaos isn't going to break my "do not disturb" mode as my brain is shut-off when home. I do not feel the need to do anything further than smile and nod and a few polite pleasantries when it is organic, but I do not tolerate ambushes or people seemingly waiting for me at night like that's normal? They wasted enough of my time. 

We have no obligation to explain our boundaries to those who retaliate in the first place; their understanding is not a requirement.

I certainly keep to myself 100% in a high-crime area, and overall, I am cordial, but I will not tolerate anyone all up in my business. And either way, those who respect the time of others would not make impositions when they see people rushing and use that to justify their group efforts to bother one target. 🚩🚩🚩

They'd focus on those who want to socialize and who have an abundance of spare time and leave the ones with a busy life of their own: alone. 

Making an issue of how strangers spend their home time and keep to themselves takes a high level of spare time, boredom, and creativity! 

I have no obligation to tolerate unwanted connections. Especially not after the chaos they tried to create over nothing but their disrespect towards boundaries different than theirs, while also not being the landlords which is a sign of needing a hobby. 

I'm not going to tolerate whatever a weirdo group was trying to impose on me at my own expense and I'm not going tolerate disruptions to my day-to-day life or delays for absolutely no reason from people who refuse to read social cues and  still want to impose themselves in the lives of a stranger who is just minding their own business and keeping to themselves. If they're not satisfied with a cordial smile and a nod, that's their problem, but they're not the ones managing multiple jobs and a disability so they have no right to try to manage my time for me. I'm not going to delay my sleep schedule and I'm certainly not going to reward anybody for seemingly waiting around for my comings and goings, which is absolutely ridiculous and highly contrived/orchestrated and comes off like an ambush. We don't share driveways or lawns, so I have no obligation towards unwanted social connections. Please go start drama in the life of someone that has spare time because I don't.

Why delay people further than a smile/head nod if you see they're rushing?

Gaslighting gives people fake power over their targets, as does controlling the narrative and so do the crazy-making tactics to make you think you're being dramatic and do not see what you saw with your eyes and felt with your instincts about your surroundings.

I shouldn't have to explain to grown adults why ambushing is weird and wrong and I would never reward people who go to length to monitor the schedule of strangers with any engagement because all they did was monitor my schedule and stare me down while I was going about my day-to-day life, but why repeatedly pop up at 11PM when no one else is around to try to ambush me as if that was natural and normal? And even when seemingly intoxicated?

The fact that someone can monitor the schedule of a stranger and wait for them at their arrival to ask them if their boundaries are against them or if they're mad at them (a person they do not know nor have the right to lay claim on) and the fact that they don't understand that this behaviour makes people uncomfortable in it of itself sounds wild...

It's questionable to look a little longer at certain people than necessary in an odd way... and monitor their schedule timing to match theirs, even at 11PM and flip out with retaliation when they refuse to dignify such foolishness with their attention and choose not to engage due to having no energy and how most people are fine with a nod and keep it moving aka not getting in the way of someone's day/delaying them... Most people mind their business. 

My self-worth and resilience are not dependent on whether or not someone else sees an issue with a certain situation, M/O, or setting and whether or not they want to fix it, it has nothing to do with me. It never had anything to do with me. Detachment is power.

My spam filter is attracting all my blessings and my focus ensures my obligations are respected. Imaging retaliating against quiet people who don't like being ambushed and having their schedule monitored, it's odd. 🚩🚩🚩

I do not reward ambushing! They should not need more than a nod/smile if they see someone is rushing... I could not argue with those incapable of reading the room though. Futile and it would feed into the issue of them trying to get a rise out of the target. Thou shall not play into their hands!

To some of us, our errands / chores are recharging time mentally (proximity is not mental availability)... This is usually respected unless they want something from you and devalue your wellness and space in the process (a trait of people to steer clear from).

If I want added stress stemming from my home sphere from non-roommates, I will go out and find it, but the fact that this (being in a hurry, not interested in being delayed at night when someone is seemingly waiting for you when no one else is around - which is sickening and weirdo bullshit that only gets passed off as "friendly" by those who think invading people's lives unwantedly is normal) needs to be explained in great detail is absolutely horrific.

I barely have time for my own obligations and recharge time, if I wanted added responsibilities, I'd go find them. Home should be a distraction-free zone and free from demands on your time and energy from non-dependents and those outside your household: we have our own lives.

Intrusive isn't friendly, it's a boundary-breaking mechanism and such people demand access to people's private sanctuaries as they are takers. It's not graceful.

I don't use my brain at the gym or at home and I am not there to network either, this is what an "invisible disability" is about, shutting down your mental batteries as-needed, while remaining gracious when you feel safe in your surroundings and it's not going to attract clingy leeches.

Segments of life reserved for healing are what they are, I am not looking for connections that are intrusive under the guise of friendly when friendly is courteous and respecting space and privacy... I can't ever entertain those who need this spelled out.

Courtesies aren't demanding and intrusive and it's in passing, not slowing people down or following them around! Which is a sign of wanting something...

I don't spend on travel or designer clothing, but a sanctuary is an investment in one's mental health and living on my own is not dangerous in 2024 unless it should be? Community just means respect space, peace, time, noise and do not steal, it's not about invading private people's lives or coordinating ambushes.

If my signals are not read and respected - if it's unclear that a hurried person should not be delayed or gotten in the way of - much less "waited" for uninvited by someone they do not know as a way to force unwanted connections regardless of proximity (my intuition always will win), I do not engage and waste my time further as that dignifies idiocy with my precious attention: no. 

I switch off when home and no one is to "demand" me to be in performance mode when critical shut-off is for my survival, do you pay my bills? I shut my brain down when home due to a medical condition, I am not there to make friends, I like pleasant courtesies, but not to the extent of demanding favours, delaying my comings/goings, or personal information. I keep to myself... It's self-respect... Boundaries are dignity.

My comfort levels will not be stepped on to "prove" to anyone that my boundaries are not about them, that is not a rightful burden to ask someone to carry when most adults wouldn't have retaliated in the first place to my right to be left alone in my own home.    

I'm just waiting for the piece of legislation l saying that I would need to tolerate unwanted connections / overly forced friendships in my home space of all places. There is none, but my disability requiring quiet is a "protected class" so get the them off of me.

I mean, retaliating against someone because you didn't get your way is one of the most childish things I've ever seen in my life so engaging with people like that is a massive waste of energy. You cannot rationalize with people like that. All you can do is get them to leave you alone once and for all.

They can focus on the other people who have the same needs as them and leave me alone, but that has been very difficult to achieve so it looks like they do have an agenda beyond inclusivity, it's called control and coercion on a lower level and forced friendships that start that way don't end well for the target. I'm not getting into that with these people. I'm simply not interested.

Giving people space is social grace and being "quiet" has nothing to do with anyone else as mature people respect "mental privacy" and zones of recharge and respect that home is *not* loud and social time for some who are under a disability accommodation for focus issues.

***It's not possible that someone is that upset at someone because they are keeping to themselves unless there are other ***motives*** behind it, there is something else going on here. Seemingly monitoring the schedule of a stranger in their home space is not every day behavior, especially if that person mind their business and bothers no one so there has to be another reason for this and if I have seen other sketchy things happen around here, I'm not sure where the links are, but there are links to be made... I simply do not owe engaging with monitoring spirits who make me uncomfortable, period. No need to back-track, just let me live in peace.*** 🚨

Whatever the reasoning may have been behind the approach, my social signals were missed, and the reasoning behind why I want to be left alone in my home space is actually nobody's business. I don't feel the need to be confronted about that or having to explain it nor do I think justifies the unwanted monitoring of my schedule to orchestrate an ambush which makes me uncomfortable... it just has to be respected.

No back-and-forth is necessary 99.9% of people mind their business and can clearly see the signals.

If my signals say that I want to be alone, what was the purpose of trying to ambush me to ask me why? Like, that's none of their business. They just have to accept it. The fact that they did not accept it is what led to the underhanded antics and tactics and even if those are hard to prove, I have every right to speak my personal experience and I'm not naming any names.

They wanted to encroach on my schedule and monitor it to a certain extent, or at least that's what it seems like, so that they can confront me about why I don't want dealings with their group? I don't want dealings with anyone when I'm home.

I want to be left alone when I'm there's no need to explain myself. I am not bothering anybody. I'm not encroaching. This is my home that I pay for.

They're not used to 2024?

They had already personalized it by the time that they tried to encroach on me and probably tried to put me on the spot about why I'm keeping to myself? That's already intrusive on its own. There's no need for them to know why. There's only need for them to respect it and back off. The signals should have been respected. If someone is showing you that they want to be left alone, you simply have to leave them alone.

You don't need to know why and you don't need to make it about yourselves. 

A boundary is not hate - and a boundary is not a grudge - a boundary is a boundary. You can make it mean whatever you want, but that does not change that the line is where it is.

When people stand from afar and just watch you do basic chores like they're the paparazzi... Who asked you to hover from far and stare me down when I am going about my life? 🚨 How is this in alignment with moments of mentally recharging and going about my life peacefully because my chores (laundry, garbage) are what I do to relax *quietly* without brain cells and forced unwanted socializing to entertain entitled people who have an agenda as proven by their relentless persistence (bulldozing social signals warrants neutrality and it's not the same as not reading them).

Being quiet in my home is so offensive! OMG! 😱 I do not see "rooming house" or "roommates" anywhere on my lease agreement. 

You cannot resolve the fact that I want to be left alone when home, that's my accommodation, that's not going to change. Nothing is going to drop my guard, especially not pushy people.

Back in October/November, the fact that my indoor camera footage had been erased the same day as the maintenance person fooled with it had me change all my WIFI passwords regularly. And them coming to my door without a real maintenance request and an issue that actually exists in reality and no invitation to do so whatsoever... Odd because it was repeated with a few of them. 🚩🚩🚩

As long as you harm no one, someone else or a group of people having a problem with your values and the way that you manage your homes space doesn't have to be made into your problem.

It is a little too overbearing for me... 

Proximity does not obligate trust on a personal level which is unwanted, un-natural, and inorganic intimacy.

If you lived in a high crime area, you would feel the same.  

When someone imposes something upon you, they're attempting to take away your choice and overstep your boundaries.

Appeasing boundary-busters or compromising your comfort levels at your own expense to appease them is never going to work long-term. That is seen as an invitation to encroach on you because you encouraged it by engaging or giving them access to you, which is the opposite of wise.

It's their control issues they need to handle, not you who needs to drop your space boundaries. 

The coincidence of being at the same place at the same time is not the same as staring someone down for longer periods of time and intently trying to cross their path to approach them for forced interactions when they're not available, interested, and so on (after changing my schedule 25 times in the last year to test what was possibly happening). 🚩🚩🚩

Why do you need to get an explanation from them as to why they're disinterested? If they're showing that they're not interested, they're not interested and they don't owe you anything or an explanation: grow up.

Those demanding explanations aren't people you should want dealings with!

You explaining yourself just gives them a different point of access which is not what I want. I want to be left alone when I'm home and there's no reason for it other than my ADHD accommodation which is a protected class so I would be careful not to argue with that.

If someone tries to approach you while pointing at you upon your return home, whether or not they have a right to be in common areas, how did they know that you left home and how do they know at what time you're coming back? Why is it repeated over a span of time, even if you showed disinterest? 🛡️

They usually do it at night and not during day time hours.  

When you establish boundaries, you're affirming your control over your life (something only bulldozers, regardless of the reason, will have issues with and demand explanations about as they love making themselves central in the lives of others), indicating the importance of your autonomy and self-determination.

I do not care about proximity when it comes to trust, I respect my instincts.

Were they worried about my feelings when they came at me as a group? 

I believe people are capable of setting boundaries. 

However, even well-intentioned individuals who may be oblivious to signals can be challenging to set boundaries with. 

Something can be harmless and intrusive and disruptive at the exact same time.

Intimacy will *not* be forced on me on any level.

You don't have to give them what they want in order to appease them, they just have to find it somewhere else because it's not on you to break your mental health requirements in your own home space for anyone outside your close circle.  

Convenience based connections are mad at you for honouring your time and space, genuine connections would give you the space without complicatedness.

...They would never make it about themselves and that's how you know.

I will never reward a forceful approach (regardless of their lack of awareness). 

People with focus disabilities should *not* have to worry about unwanted intrusion in their private sanctuary except from dependents and those in their household or 911 issues, let's comprehend that proximity doesn't make me an extension of anyone else's agenda. No roommates.

My private sanctuary will be defended and guarded by all means necessary.

Disengagement and peaceful and rightful distance are the best answers to encroachment. A boundary is only an instigation to someone who has a need for exerting power over others even if it is cloaked in fake kindness (no one has to agree with my truth and what I saw with my own eyes and senses with my instincts). 

I'm not sure how monitoring my schedule after me changing it repeatedly and ambushing me (which is not organic and not natural) was going to work in their favor. It's very very weird. It's extremely weird. There's a difference between polite greetings and then being straight up intrusive and acting like a roommate when we're not from the same household (there's nothing more disgraceful than seemingly waiting for people's arrivals when you're not invited to do so and it clearly illustrates an agenda). I mean, everybody has their own obligations in life and that doesn't make them a bad person, they're actually being responsible by preserving their energy for the things that are a real priority (prior commitments), and providing for themselves and so on. Those who respect the boundaries and time of others are the only people who deserve it, those who have no concept of privacy can indeed steer clear of me which is truly what I wanted this whole time.

Do not give any access points to anyone looking to use you as revealed by their forceful persistence. 👏

Appeasing is not the solution and the onus is not on you to massage their feelings over healthy boundaries as if you "owed" them something to begin with? No.

Setting up security and guarding my home doesn't mean I hate anyone, but taking it as such isn't my problem so stop making their feelings my issue!

Why would anyone want to impose unwanted connections so intensely if they had no agenda? 

You're not going to be asked to put your comfort in jeopardy to appease anyone else by anyone who respects you.

Protecting myself doesn't mean there's a threat of harm, it means my comfort needs to be respected.

Protecting what belongs to me is not the same as demanding what belongs to someone else's autonomy, my space/peace are rights, their demands and desires (for which I will not be made responsible for as long as I live here) aren't my issue. 

Proximity is not automatic trust.

Personal space is your right, your time isn't their entitlement when you do not share a driveway or a lawn, you are in a high-rise with building staff... 

Grace isn't the same as their forced (clingy) unwanted connections. How do they have that much time? 😱

There is no logical or lawful obligation to owe anyone a forced unwanted friendship and to be hounded to talk about their issues with your boundaries that aren't about them after they've already siphoned your time for absolutely no reason. 

My lessons: Simply make yourself unavailable without feeling the need to justify. Avoid offering excuses for not engaging, as you don't owe pushy people explanations to make them feel better about a difference in boundaries. 

Providing or inventing excuses may imply that you owe them your schedule and apologies: no.

And...

Directly confronting a group of monitoring spirits is a bad idea for a host of reasons and your personal protection is your first priority... that they resorted to that in the first place is all the information that I need. 🔥

Whether or not it was intentional does not change the fact that you must have street smarts. 

If they have shown a pattern of poor reactions to boundaries, why would you put yourself in a position to deal with that again? It doesn't make any sense to me.

Be peaceful and neutral... If you're kind to pushy individuals, you're essentially encouraging their behaviour and rewarding it, which ultimately works against you.

It's a terrible idea to play into their hands and invite further intrusion or reward them with engaging with their antics (regardless of whether or not they're aware of their actions, that's beside the point). 

Someone who chooses to take offense to my boundaries and portrays themselves as targeted by them simply lacks the ability to respect those boundaries. 🛡️ Their poor reactions showed that they planned on crossing the line again.

This is a problem they need to address within themselves because everyone has different boundaries. If they choose to take it personally, that's their own issue to resolve.

There’s no necessity for involvement beyond a polite smile and nod because that's cordial and kind, but it does not require unnecessary entanglements especially when you see they already cling to pure strangers which is super weird. I do not know them from a can of paint. 👏

And if people are already showing entitlement and strong feelings towards your boundaries and choosing to make it mean anything about themselves and trying to make themselves central in your life, it’s best to preserve your space and peace as it has nothing to do with them but they’re choosing to perceive it that way and making an issue out of nothing.

I think it's perfectly okay to be a private person in and around one's own home, no? Or am I off in my assessment of how I am supposed to mentally recharge away from life's stress? No one has a right to force unwanted connections. 

Genuine people are going to respect the social norm of not getting in people's way when they're literally just trying to go about their life on time because they do have a life and they understand what it's like to be busy. 

Caring people respect the time of others and do  not make demands or act entitled to hijacking your energy on-demand when you are rushing in and out of your home with *no* energy. 

Psychologically safe people are not going to demand that you owe them a social relationship or anything, and they're not going to demand that you stop yourself in your tracks when you are busy and rushing and because you don't report to these people, you don't have to explain to them what your time boundaries are because they are not your roommates. 

If they cannot read the room and not only disrespect your time but retaliate because you refused an unwanted connection, I don't know what else to say.

You are under no obligation to do anything other than respect space, respect time, respect, noise, and respect safety.

Takes a lot of creativity to find fault with people who mind their business and bother no one and are simply reserved and to make it mean something about themselves to the point where they're going to go on an all out retaliation campaign. Of course monitoring my schedule despite my changing it 25 times and slashing their dog leash at my door was accidental! 

If you're trying to strip someone's right to choose who they allow into their *personal* lives, you're trying to strip them of their personal autonomy and humanity, that's insane. 

I am not risking my mental health accommodations or overstimulation just to appease people who think that the boundaries of others are all about them. It's not my job to engage with that or defend myself against that.

You do not have an obligation to have unwanted social connections because of proximity when those connections are being forced and they're trying to guilt you into playing into their hands by rewarding the intrusiveness which doesn't make any sense.

They want to make your boundaries mean something about them so that you try to convince them that you actually do feel comfortable around them, but that has nothing to do with the boundary.

They boundary has to do with your own personal space so the solution is for them to stop taking it personally and move on rather than trying to force you to unwanted interaction that you don't want in the first place.

Just because they want a village vibe does not mean that this fits your cultural and mental wiring and personal comfort and you have the right to live in peace, free from unwanted chaos. 

You have every right to be private when you're coming in and out of your space and you're rushing on the way somewhere and 99.9% of people have had no problems with this.

I would be hard-pressed to find someone that has a problem with a reserved individual who minds their business, smiles, and nods: unless they want something from you for which you have the right to be too busy for.

You do not need to take your guard down just because some people choose to create an issue of it as if you "owed" them an unwanted connection. 

They are allowed to be at the same place at the same time, but if they have already been told to leave me alone, why don't they do it? 

Being at the same place and just being there is different than being at the same place and oddly watching me directly or trying to approach me to force unwanted interactions - for whatever reason - when I have already said that I don't want that. 

They created all of that orchestration it just to see if I was mad at them (emotionally needy towards people who have never spoken to them) when in reality, my boundaries have nothing to do with them... If I'm signalling being left alone, you should probably follow suit and respect the boundary.

They cannot forced unwanted connections. This has nothing to do with them, but it's extremely excruciating and exhausting to have to explain this and I will not shoulder the burden of taking on their personal issues with people who have different cultural norms and boundaries in 2024.

Your fences are not about them.

Unwanted intimacy on any level that isn't mutually consensual is unwelcome (including forced social connections). 

No conversation required to defend myself about my private lines: as a boundary is a directive on what and who is not allowed in your private life.

They must accept how their actions were received (not well) and move on by stopping completely.

Not my job to make them feel better about what they did because they choose to view the boundaries of others as personal attacks.

You can forgive and also deny access to you.

Genuine people back off and don't hijack your comings/goings and home time or wait for you when not a housemate.

It is not a comfort zone, it's my comfort level and it's going to be respected. I mind my business so maybe they should do the same.

Some boundaries are set nonverbally but they were still trying to push you and act like you were obligated to them because of proximity and that's not the case in 2024. It's also inconsiderate to insert yourself into the days of busy people for no reason.

No way that me not engaging for almost a year has not been registered, their persistence is a way to try to make you break your guard. I want to make it clear that I don't owe anyone an unwanted connection based on proximity in 2024. Would a village not respect differences?

Mutual consent applies to all connections and psychologically safe environments respect Neurodiversity and cultural differences in levels of intimacy, closeness, and boundaries, all they need to do is fall back and leave me alone. Their reactions are their own responsibility.

Not wanting a connection does not mean I'm mad, it means I'm not available due to my own energy limits.

Why would I play into their hands and engage because they are persisting and making themselves a victim to my boundaries precisely for me to drop my guard? You do not reward manipulative behaviour like that with engaging in any back and forth as it is simplistic to think that a lack of self-awareness that led to retaliation against your chosen boundaries is going to be solved by you breaching your own comfort levels (giving into their unfounded demands), that's crazy.

The underhanded disrespect of trying to force you on "unavailable" time and then pretend like they're unaware to conceal it.

Some individuals may have a tendency to disregard or dismiss the boundaries of others due to a lack of respect or consideration for their autonomy and space (distracting tantrums disrupting your work days and disability accommodations in your own home space). It's far from kindness, this is a violation of personal space and unwanted. 

You can't show someone that connection is unwanted, and then go engage with them and play into their hands, that's literally disrespecting your own comfort. Why would you do that? They do not respect your space and your free will, and they have made it abundantly clear.

If you give them what they want, they may push for more. 

Why give your time to chaos-creators who do not respect it and do not mind causing delay and disruption to your day-to-day as long as they get what they want at the expense of your UN-AVAILABLE time that shouldn't need to be defended so hard in your private space/private area of your life? 

Their warped sense of ownership over autonomous being is the problem, not my clear sense of strong boundaries.

I didn't know someone needed to be mad in order to be having a quiet personality or needing personal space in their own home.

I know what a terrible reaction to friendliness! Actually, no it's not friendly at all. It's holding people hostage to their unwanted imposition until they cave in and it's very manipulative and easy to conceal if you're inexperienced in this type of game. 

***And they want to personalize your boundaries as a reason to retaliate.***

I do want to congratulate them for the work it must have taken to follow my schedule as a group because I changed it so many times it was almost kind of wild to live with that.

I will hold my ground and protect myself from unwanted connections. No false guilt will work.

It's not because anybody lives nearby that they're automatically trustworthy and if they were, they would actually respect cultural differences and those with the different boundaries. It's not about them, but they chose to make it about themselves and that's the problem here.

People who don't know me from a can of paint decided to take my lack of availability in my home space which is the most intimate sphere of my life oh-so-personally and then retaliate against me for a year. All because I have multiple jobs and a health condition: NO mental energy.

There was no connection before, and no logical basis for it either.

I will also not engage just to prove that I'm not "mad" at anybody for being unavailable in my home space. I don't have to prove anything to anyone or explain my boundaries to grown adults who should back off. Intrusion isn't inclusion, it's unwanted persistence and force.

A nuisance does not need to be harmful in order to be un-necessarily stressful and chaotic. 

Kindness respects disinterest since it is a gift, not an imposition or unfounded obligation. We are not owned by them and neither is our schedule as this can get in the way of someone's ability to focus at work which is sickening. Truly wild. Everyone else minds their business!!!

They should learn to be grown adults and stop taking the boundaries of others as a personal insult against them and we would have no problems. They wanted to go on a retaliation rampage and now I'm going on a blog rampage to expose it.

I am under a disability accommodations in my home and I pay my rent, I mind my business, I respect space, I respect noise, I don't delay people when they are coming and going whether they're going to work or whatever event and I look out for mutual safety, I will not have unwanted relationships closer than what is truly logically necessary imposed onto me by anybody for any reason.

Thank you to the person who defended my do not disturb door sign to the other one who scoffed about it (like a self-centered entitled parasite). They don't know and do not care what goes on in the lives of strangers, but they want to be central in your life / bully their way in.

God forbid that you're in a hurry to get back home after a long day I mean, how dare you not revolve your world around these people you evil unfriendly witch?

These are the kinds of people who don't care if they make you late for your commitments, as long as they get your attention and energy on demand even if you have none and you need your space in your home.

I will not be made responsible for destroying my comfort and unavailable time in my sanctuary which should be *safe* from unwanted intrusion and invasive bulldozers (not kind at all, kindness respects space and humanity respects free choice).

Bothering people who don't bother you isn't going to get you anywhere with me.

Backlash for functioning differently is the sign of a psychologically unsafe environment with a bulldozer at the head of it who does not respect other people's personal space and home-time boundaries to act like they're above the priorities of strangers in 2024.

I had one person defend my *clear* DND door sign, which is amazing while the other ones scoffed like it's a joke to have a permanent and severe disability while working from home which is my safe space? The gang has shown me nothing but subtle retaliation for a year. 💯

You can't demand automatic connections just because of proximity, that's not really how trust is built or earned. I just don't have the *time* I don't care how nice they are.

MANY people view home as a private sanctuary, we have rights to non-intrusion. I have a disability too.

Further exposure to those who have made you uncomfortable in your own home through retaliation tactics against rightful boundaries in 2024 is not the solution, the solution is for them to back off once and for all and mind their business and perhaps look into going to play Bingo or hire escorts for companionship and leave the younger women around you alone.

Giving people their space is dignity and social etiquette unless invited to do otherwise, graceful approaches win over assuming unwanted familiarity.

Their inability to respect the differences in boundaries of others is not mine to own.

You will be gaslit and excuses will be made if you ever confront people like that directly so it's not advisable. They operate in groups to make it hard to prove and hard to spot a pattern, but people who are trained in this fully understand it. 

Your words may be twisted against you and so that's why it's best not to because they're going to take it as a personal offence as they have already done with your boundaries, which are not about them. 

Private and personal space is a right, but their wants or desires are simply wants and desires (not your true obligations) and you're not responsible for those, they have to manage those within themselves and get with the times.

Those who want something from you at your own expense actually don't respect your humanity and your basic autonomy to choose who is in your life which is the most basic way to recognize someone as a human person with actual rights.

Anyone who promotes sacrificing yourself for people outside of your own household is clearly not the one who is managing your sleep, health, nutrition, exercise, disability, and your ability to pay your bills as nobody can do that on your behalf, and nobody should be expected to.

THERE IS NO SPARE time and that's part of life. Accept it and move on.

Anyone who respects you as a person with a life, a mind, and a wellness requirement is not going to ask you to cut into your sleep to make time that you don't have. Especially if they're not from your household. We manage our own household first, and then we allocate overflow.

I think minding my own business is a perfectly healthy thing and I wish others would do the same and stop making my boundaries mean anything about them because I would like to clarify that ADHD has nothing to do with them.

If certain people are not open to connecting further or do not have the energy for chatting when they are simply trying to go about their daily life in mental-health-requiring-calmness-peace-quiet without having basic chores take up more time when working multiple jobs (as if that was not stressful enough), that's entirely up to them.

You couldn't understand where people are coming from, but still let them do their inner work and respect the boundaries of others like grown adults would have done the first time...

Kindness is not bothering people unnecessarily for no reason and demanding their attention regardless of what they have going on in their life and regardless of whether or not you see them rushing.

You don't have to be mad in order to want your personal space respected because it's not about them and only when they try to make the lives of others is something about themselves do problems arise.

A boundary is not a negotiation, a boundary should simply be respected because someone wanting something from you that you do not have the time, energy, obligation, or ability to provide or offer isn't a "you" problem. Accepting it is their inner work/responsibility.

I will not explain why I keep to myself in my own home to anybody.

In psychologically safe situations (not ones filled with ambushes and encroachment), you'll never be judged for being in a hurry to your destination or to your strict sleep schedule as people will actually respect your time and the fact that you want to provide for yourself despite a disability and they will never be delaying you or make your life difficult.

If you decline an opportunity, offer, relationship that does not resonate: no opportunity you don't desire can qualify as 'missed out on'.

The solution is never to destroy your own comfort, which has nothing to do with feeling safe or not. It has to do with your own comfort levels.

But I'm not really interested in monitoring spirits to be honest.

You can't force unwanted connections between people who don't share a driveway or a lawn or anything really there's just no basis for it so I'm just trying to make it make sense as to why they're not letting up? Nothing beyond a nod or smile is within my comfort levels if forced...

The requirements around my private sanctuary and my disability are private and unless you're in my household and have a reason to know why my personal space is protected the way it is, the solution is for them to mind their own business and respect cultural differences in 2024. 

An inclusive society respects people of diverse brain structures and cultural norms.

My cultural norm is a lot of personal space and if they keep breaching it, I will continue to speak up. An equal society will never breach personal dignity and force unwanted connections.

Inclusion is to shared space and amenities, not to my private and personal space.

Excuse me, giving into something I'm ***uncomfortable*** with and have no time for is the solution instead of them just backing off?

Absolutely not, privacy and space is healthy and nods are friendly enough. I'm not going to quit my second job to make time for monitoring spirits.

I'm neither their housemate nor their convenient companion for whatever their desires may be. I have the freedom to do as I please with *my* time and space and I do not report to these bossy controlling monitoring spirits.

I will not have my comings and goings delayed by people who don't work multiple jobs themselves. I will not have my quiet time during basic chores trampled on when that's my only time to mentally rest and I need my personal space like it's not complicated.  

If you appease bulldozers by giving an inch into their demands, they will see you as weak and cling onto you. This isn't the same as genuine people as genuine people don't make you uncomfortable knowingly or otherwise in the first place. 

Does anyone find the optics weird that people three times my age is trying super hard to be my friend? Inclusivity is just kindness and extending the invitation to everyone, but there's no backlash when they say no or show disinterest usually.

Why would someone three times my age lurk that much? Why did they do it for so long? What was the motive? You have every right to question intentions before anybody gets entry into your life and if you don't have time well, you don't have time and that's the bottom line.

Those choosing to take the boundaries of others personally just simply need to have some introspection because it's not about them, but they wanted to make it about them so they made an issue out of nothing.

I can sense when someone is a possible leech.

I was just living my life and then I started to be monitored by a group of them and now I'm disgusted. It's backfiring too, the solution is to leave me alone and expect me to break down my guard to satisfy people to whom I don't owe anything except the basics, especially if they're trying to force it against my will. Introverts and those with focus disabilities use their commute and their coming/going time for mentally recharging and preparing for their destination and many work from home so aside from graceful smiles/nods: no one is entitled to delaying others in a bulldozing manner.

I think it's important to be graceful, but I also think it's important to have a backbone as the bulldozers are not worried about your feelings so much that they were so worried about getting what they wanted from you (which isn't owed in the first place) with persistence. 

If there is no available time, stop throwing yourselves at me and respect my unavailability when home like everyone else does. Unless you're in need of 911 assistance, you will not bother me in my home that I pay rent on time for and you will go handle your feelings elsewhere.

Telling someone that setting boundaries isn't personal won't change the fact that they'll take your need for space personally if they don't respect you as a person and view you as an extension of their needs (a puppet to control). 

Keeping to yourself and not bothering anyone is only going to bother people who are easily bothered and who wanted something from you, but they're actually mad that they couldn't push their agenda on you because genuinely kind of people are going to give you your space which is actually what dignified humanity is about because people have a choice about what goes on in their personal space.

They may prioritize their desires over your own needs (but you're responsible for your household first), even promoting you indirectly compromising your disability accommodations in your home, which should be your private sanctuary. 

Everyone deserves to protect their peace and space without interference. It's important for them to respect your boundaries and find people with similar needs instead of fixating on you. 

I would never give an inch of access to me to people who are known or seem like they would take a mile and are already pushing against my boundaries as strangers, I would not take that risk at all. If they're already making me uncomfortable as a stranger, why would I let them in closer?

Politeness goes out of the window when they have gone out of their way to ambush me. It's not my problem if they don't like the fact that I don't have time to socialize with them. 

That's not to be made into my problem, everyone has cultural differences and different schedules and as far as I'm concerned, they're not qualified to manage my time and they're not the ones with multiple jobs and a disability because if they saw me as a person and a human with rights, they wouldn't try to bulldoze my responsibilities and my time to try to encroach their way into my life repeatedly and genuine is actually being graceful and respectful, fake and filled-with-agendas is being intrusive and a bulldozer.

My home is my sanctuary and no one on this planet is going to act entitled to entry into that space or to get near it without my consent and with a disability accommodation in place, I should not have to defend my space to anybody outside of my household - who has absolutely no rights over my space. They are going to have to handle their feelings in a healthy and mature manner. 

If you give these people an inch: they will find a way to complain about you regardless as they're unwinnable and cloaking their intrusion under the guise of "we're a family" nonsense which is to break your guard down and make you tolerant to absolute bullshit.

Who would complain about not having access to the personal/private sanctuary of a stranger?

Disinterest and refusal are not issues, continuously bothering people you do not know and whose time you have no entitlement towards and ignoring those clear signals is the issue (you're not entitled to their private time, nor do they owe you getting to know them if they are busy or uninterested in connecting further than a quick nod)... 

Unless you're hellbent on bulldozing your way into their lives because you have an agenda? I mean, what could a group of middle-aged men want from someone younger? 

This is horrible optics even if they mean well.

Proximity is not entitlement to forced connection or any level of intimacy. 

Again, benefit of the doubt means thinking they're well intented, it doesn't mean entertaining it or engaging or allowing them into your life. 

Quite a few building notice flyers were stolen from my mailbox and those of others as well. In addition to the fact that there have been some of my delivery notice postcards that have gone missing, that's interesting. Amazon packages also got stolen. 🚩

Back in October/November, the fact that my indoor camera footage had been erased the same day as the maintenance person fooled with it had me change all my WIFI passwords regularly. And them coming to my door without a real maintenance request and an issue that actually exists in reality and no invitation to do so whatsoever... Odd. 🚩

Most people back off when you show a lack of time or availability. Showing it non-verbally is safer because it takes coordination and some level of intelligence to monitor my schedule or seemingly do so personally and repeatedly. Stop playing if you don't want to make others uncomfortable, but do not botjer me further to defend yourself.

There is no tension in wanting to be left alone, unless some want to make it about themselves. 

If someone who does not know you is trying to force you into anything already at this stage, that's a red flag. Do not get me started on those who try to force friendships (a form of intimacy) likely for personal gain as shown by the un-natural and forced approach...

A gang of middle-aged mobsters paying such close attention to my comings and goings like that's going to work to intimidate me into something, please go leech off someone else.

Living in proximity does not entitle you to the time, energy, attention, friendship, or resources of others. It entitles to looking out for mutual safety and respecting privacy, people get to choose who they allow into their lives and can simply be unavailable, accept it. All you have in "common" is where you chose to reside, respect people's right to space/privacy.

People being outside means they're probably headed somewhere? Or coming back to their work space? Holy fluff, mind your business.

I don't like to stall and delay the days of anyone at all, much less those giving clear "busy" signals and I would never be bothered by anyone who is not going to justify or explain punctuality over appeasing anyone who is already ignoring cues (if they're already doing this intently without knowing you, they want something). 

The people who mean you well will respect your boundaries the first time. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that. It doesn't take a lot to screen someone in or out.

Everyone has moments where they do not want to be bothered and those who are orchestrated clearly want something... For ADHD, we can't rewire the rest or focus circuit once broken and often, we are in a mental zone, so those who insist on bothering people who are clearly disinterested or busy... No thanks! This shows that it's not true kindness but has an agenda... 

Someone could be a good person, but that doesn't mean you can spend time or logistics that you don't have or allow them to force their way into your life and frankly, if they were a good person, they would back off a lot more easily wouldn't they? You are not obligated to allow people in your life that you don't have time for or they just don't feel right in your gut.

You're especially not obligated to do anything with anybody that does not come correct.

Because impositions don't show care, they show disrespect. 

Forcing intimacy on any level, especially trying to force friendships, is never a good sign!

Orchestrating anything does not change that a person is unavailable and it's a form of bulldozing with an agenda.

It stands out as so few people do this.

It is as though they think proximity entitles them to impose themselves on your life and break into it: no. 

Despite changing my schedule 25 times in one year:

Trying to catch people at a certain time, especially when they come back home at night is odd. I am just not very used to having people pay that close attention to my comings and goings especially that we are not roommates. 

Benefit of the doubt means you know everyone has a good heart, it doesn't mean allowing just anyone into your life especially if it doesn't fit any available windows of time (logistics: I do not have time and no one will destroy the conditions to my survival, mental space to recharge, peaceful quiet without noise including un-necessary chatter, and health).

They have already shown that they make an issue out of boundaries from strangers, do you really want to go into that further? Why would you? It doesn't make any sense.

If you give an inch, they take a mile so it's best not to open yourself up to further encroachment.

If they are demanding under the cloak of pseudo-family at this stage, why would you allow that in your life in the first place?

Having clear boundaries does not make you a bad person, trying to bulldoze those boundaries (entitlement to whatever they want from other free willed people) makes them a questionable person. It is the people who try to force connections on unwilling participants who just bother me the most.

Trust is earned and it takes time to develop and we don't always have the time to invest so sometimes we just keep to ourselves in certain situations (especially in situations where we have no business dealing with one another beyond the baseline of class and common sense) which is a very acceptable preference because we're not going around bothering anybody. 

If they’re not coming correct or missing signals now, where do you think this would lead if you allowed them closer? They’d literally take over your already-limited time and make bigger impositions, it would be endless and nightmarish. 

I am becoming fantastic at dodging bullets.

If you naturally run into someone, that's normal, but if you have to go out of your way to watch someone's coming and goings and then listen for them coming back so that you orchestrate and ambush or reverse-follow them to their destination (a few of their little group were involved in the orchestration) that's a little bit weird to me.... It is weird because the majority of people don't do that. The majority of people would not need to be told not to do that to a stranger either. I made sure I gave no signs that this was acceptable to me so that it doesn't get turned on me.

Nobody would watch your daily schedule that much unless they wanted to take something from you and as cringey as this sounds, it makes sense. Even if they were trying to find out if they offended you, this is still cringey regardless.

My social life is elsewhere so they're going to have to look somewhere else as I am not a fit for their needs: it's that simple. 

Truly, nothing has to be wrong for someone to be unavailable, it was really nothing until they made it into a problem. 

Some boundaries ought to have been known to be in place and disregarding cues repeatedly (well-meaning or not) is just a sign of someone you should not let near you. If they have to monitor your schedule to force their way into your life and cannot accept you’re simply unavailable in some segments of your life because you're stressed/busy/tired and don't owe them anything but to respect their space/privacy, that’s a bullet dodged. We are not called to give demonic forces place in our lives.

I would think they'd just find people with similar needs and wants and preferences and leave the rest alone?

If they didn't want anything, they would have just fallen back.

I wouldn't have the time or mental energy to involve myself with just anyone who is trying to bulldoze their way in because of everything I have going on even if I wanted to, but that's something that is normally respected and then they just keep it moving like genuine people who respect autonomy and mental energy, they don't just keep trying and trying and trying usually (unless they desperately want something)? 

Making your basic right to personal space mean something about them is a form of wanting something, that's wanting your sympathy and them not taking responsibility for their own feelings.

They must not be used to people who defend their personal space. That's probably it because people in the past were probably submissive to whatever their demands were - no matter how intrusive.

Instant or forced intimacy is not genuine connection in it should raise an immediate red flag because your mental space belongs to you.

Trying creative strategies to pry their way in? It leaves me with a lot of questions.

Why not just respect the logistical lack of availability (over which I have no control as if 2 jobs and a disability wasn't stressful enough) and move the heck on?

You're not responsible for appeasing people with things that you do not owe them in the first place... Your health is your best defence against intrusive people.

If they do not come correct, if they bulldoze, if they show entitlement to your time, attention, bandwidth, and worked-for resources fresh out of the gate: you do not need that in your life as it's entirely your choice who you allow into your private life.

Physical presence is not the same as mental availability and if not autistic or otherwise, blatantly bulldozing busy signals is a sign of the type of person (imposing and intrusive) I would not want to deal with. Trying to be centered and demand the energy of strangers who bother no one is a sign of an entitled mentality.

A genuine approach is much different than one that is orchestrated, and you will know by whether or not someone is trying to follow your schedule a little too closely, or whether it's natural. 

Physical presence is not mental availability, we're paying for the use of amenities in a facility with staff who is there for emergencies, that's it. The end. All else is a personal choice.

Well-meaning intrusiveness doesn't mean you need to tolerate it.

Small circles work for me.

People can have a good heart and you may simply not be able to meet their needs, this is part of life. I am not the right fit for these people, period. It is not my job to explain myself and to defend my boundaries, they should respect that it's not about them and leave it alone.

We can’t know everyone or do everything and genuine people respect your time.

We must be wise stewards of our resources and energy, especially with a disability which anyone hellbent on taking would not care to recognize as they are not worried about your red zone/obligations.

True care respects wellness which respects free choice and autonomy over our inner circle. 

You don't have to compromise your personal peace and personal space for people that you're not even in a relationship with who want to act like you owe them something at your own expense when you actually don't. It's delusional.

Trying to appease them and convince them that you're not mad at them and that your boundaries are not about them just feeds into the chaos that they tried to create and feeds and encourages their antics.   

If they're worried about having made me uncomfortable, they would just stop bothering me once and for all and mind their business, which is actually the solution and find other people who have the time to socialize with them so that it's not an issue that I don't have the time or the energy in my home space which is the most intimate space in my entire life and I should not have to defend it this hard. 

If someone is unaware, then make them aware and make them stop. That's the solution, but don't ask me to drop my guard for no reason when I'm not comfortable doing so. Making it right is not by dropping my boundaries, making it right is by making them stop. Caving into the reason they retaliated is not the solution.

If I told them that certain things were unacceptable at the time, they would just have tried different points of access and different routes: and I don't want that. I'm not looking to connect further. I DO NOT HAVE TIME. 

You don't have the time to defend your boundaries and convince people that it's not about them or argue with them or engage with them or feed into anything because you know the truth about yourself so there's no point in engaging. For what? To make them feel better? 

No, you should be making yourself feel better after dealing with that chaos: disengaging peacefully is the smartest option.

My do not disturb sign is not a negotiation, I have no justification to give to people who do not own the place or own me.  

I do not owe anyone a connection or friendship based on proximity, have I made myself clear?

To engage, appease, console, and cajole foolishness, at your own expense, is feeding into their hands and it is foolish and unwise and it rewards their nonsense. If they're already turning your boundaries against you and playing the victim, your words are not worth misusing. 

All that needs to happen is that I wish to be given space.

Boundaries don't lack empathy: what lacks empathy is crossing boundaries and infringing on the rights of others to live in peace without unfounded demands on their energy, space, and time. 

Someone being demanding fresh out the gate without even knowing you from a can of paint is not exactly a sign that they have realistic expectations of strangers.

They have to review their expectations and learn to accept boundaries different than their own because the solution is not for you to drop your guard and put yourself in an uncomfortable situation not because you feel they are unsafe, because you have boundaries for your personal mental health and protection. 

Never let the onus be put on you to change your boundaries to accommodate the disrespectful.

If they're not satisfied with a quick nod, they don't even deserve your energy in the first place. 

Because 99.99% of people mind their business, I don't believe that a genuine community tells other people how to spend their energy, their private time, or their space within their own sanctuary let alone making demands on them. That's not inclusion, that is control concealed as friendliness. 

Those who demand this this are typically gossips or very clingy towards those who cave in and I'm afraid that I didn't sign a contract anywhere obligating me to to acquiesce or submit to forced and unwanted connections on any level beyond what is owed as a courtesy.

My personal space and comfort levels will not be undermined by anybody on this planet. 

You can signal to them to back off if they blatantly disregarding your signals and social cues, but you don't have to engage with them and hear their excuses to reward their antics. 

You engaging beyond what is necessary will only give them a platform to voice their justifications and excuses. They may even try to dismantle your boundaries and get close to you, which is what you don't want.

Your private sanctuary is not a performative, networking, or social space especially if you're an introvert, you don't have to walk on eggshells or spend energy or time that you don't have to entertain anybody because you're not a clown. Be graceful, but that's it.  

Basic consideration does not mean tolerance or acquiescing to unwanted friendships. Handle rejection and do not bother me further.

You don't have to think that someone wants to harm you in order to put your boundaries up, it could be a matter of protecting yourself against a high crime area, perhaps? It could be a matter of protecting your *peace* against nuisance? Your fences are not about them.

Peacefully and respectfully disengaging is all that is needed to move on and be left alone in my space which they do not get to control or stomp on.

Someone already demanding emotional intimacy from a stranger is probably not going to understand boundaries very well in general and that's not your problem. They may take it personally, don't let them make it your problem or don't let them put the owners on you to manage their feelings for them, they are adults.

A healthy situation is one where everyone is free to choose their level of engagement and boundaries for themselves.

I'm under ADHD accommodations in my home. I pay my rent, I mind my business, I respect space/noise, I don't delay people when they are coming / going whether they're going to work/ wherever and I look out for mutual safety (heavily), I nod/smile, but I won't be forced into unwanted connections.

Proximity doesn't guarantee trust, especially when accompanied by excessive partying, drinking, and trying too hard to befriend people  much younger (possibly mostly women). It's unsettling to be fixated on by people I do not know... and makes me uncomfortable; I prefer not to engage with such behaviour when I lack the time, energy, or interest.

Proximity doesn't mean common sense and common values. 

I do not owe anyone unwanted contact under any guise.

I keep to myself in my home space so the solution is to find others with the same social needs. I trust there are plenty of escorts or other companions depending on the need to choose from, problem solved. 

Clear boundaries are not grudges and don't let anybody fool you into thinking that you should take your walls down to make someone else happy at your own expense when you're not even in a relationship with them at first of all.

You have a right to personal space, they have no right to violate your boundaries or manipulate the concept of proximity being an "obligation" to unwanted social contact or connection when YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE INTIMACY, much less when they lurk at your arrivals intoxicated which sounds safe to confront, where's the common sense here?

Shoo them off from a safe distance, but do not engage with those lacking common sense and needing the basics explained and waste your time like that, how chaotic for no reason.

I don't owe anyone engaging at my expense to appease them at the expense of training them to mind their business and hire themselves a hooker or other companion because intrusive isn't inclusive. 

***Monitoring strangers/going out of their way to orchestrate run in's (after you changed your schedule ~ 25 times) under the guise of inclusion... No, that's *forcing* unwanted connections for no legitimate basis: I'm not responsible for their desires for a "village" or preying on younger people which are the horrific optics here, my personal space is a right.***

Oh and we have no hallway cameras to prove anything, we also have no Agent Status, so comforting because even if people are screened, that alone doesn't mean reinforcing security isn't a basic public safety need overall with or without imminent threat.

On what planet is it my responsibility to reveal anything about why I protect my personal space with a severe disability and multiple jobs to anybody that I don't report to and who doesn't pay my bills to make them feel better about themselves being rejected from unwanted social contact just because of proximity? If they want to defend their intentions, what they could do is leave me alone and skip over me for their social stuff like they were told.

How is it distance? It's personal space and protecting my ongoing ability to remain focused and in the workforce and since when do I owe any level of intimacy to strangers? Anyone forcing unwanted connections has an agenda. Graceful courtesy > forcing unwanted intimacy and calling it warm and friendly when it's a way to get you to drop your guard, the subtle and early stages: disguised persistent pressure to connect. 

They will create problems to force you to engage with them. NO. I will not reward such nonsense. I can tell them to back off from far away.

They can focus on the rest and leave the quiet ones alone, which is the solution in 2024. Get with the times.

They want to paint personal space as being cold and distant when in reality, it's a social grace to give space to people that you don't even know because that's actually humanity and basic dignity and autonomy over who is allowed in our private lives, this is so basic. 

Until now, no one had offended me to justify my personal boundary to keep to myself in my private sanctuary... And why did they *choose* to make it about them and force me to defend my personal boundaries to make themselves the center of my world? Now, I have tangible reasons to end all contact that isn't wanted.

I could never engage with those incapable of reading the room and thinking that's going to actually be a productive use of my time.

Is it really that complicated to focus on the ones who want social time, and respectfully leave rest alone as if they had any authority and ownership over my personal private sanctuary? Like what is so difficult about this? I have the right to protect and defend my space. 

Cold to anyone who could not force their will on me and this includes unwanted interactions on any level. My comfort is more important than their feelings (a “them” problem). Should not have retaliated! I will forever defend my right to choose who is allowed in my personal space.

I'm pretty sure only people who gossip are offended by those who are always in a rush to one of their jobs. 

They don't have to know anything about a person's health issues in order to respect their time.

Summary:

Some want privacy.

Some want social.

Both are valid. Psychologically safe spaces respect all boundary levels. They do not force people to remove their limits for those who find respecting others too difficult.

Personal space is a right, so is getting to and from your home without delays (social grace).

Wanting to encroach/impose on dignified autonomous beings is a want and a personal desire that isn't on my list of responsibilities to allow others to enact. 

Forgiveness doesn't mean access, it means move on and mind your business. 

Forgiveness does not forego comfort and boundaries are not grudges, they should not have retaliated against my personal differences as cultural norms very throughout the world, and I don't have to get close to anybody just because of proximity if I'm not available and my disability accommodations in my own rental unit have nothing to do with them. 

All they needed to do was accept it and go find someone else. Oh, the free will of others and their choices are hard to accept? That's a them problem! Bulldozers seem so entitled to other people's space that it sickens me. It irks my spirit and it repels me.

Their persistence clearly showed that they were playing the long game, but it looks like my guard has not been lowered and in fact they did nothing but heighten it and that's cause and effect. 

No psychologically healthy space is going to force anybody to be less busy than they are (serious life obligations that won't be disregarded for strangers) just to appease people who just want something because otherwise they would respect my time more easily if they saw me as a human with rights and wellness requirements (I am not here for their needs or to entertain them)... they would have never done any of the weird antics to which have destroyed my focus enough that I will not give them an ounce of my time or allow them to manipulate my boundaries with sob stories that only inexperienced weak-minded individuals may fall for and I am neither of those things.

They wanted to play? Good for them, their prizes await, now, go bother someone else.

They don't have to understand a boundary in order to choose not to make it mean anything about themselves because that's a very self-centred and entitled worldview and I think I have broken that down for them really well.

They are not the God of other people.

I don't have to destroy my comfort levels to keep the peace with people who came at me for very silly reasons that are difficult to justify for a reasonable human being with an actual functional brain that respects cultural norms and differences, the way to keep the peace is to respect my wishes and leave me be.

That is all that needed to happen. I don't have to make myself available if I'm not available.

I am not a clown who is here to serve their whims - and genuine inclusion respects people's time and backs off.

I would love for them to manage multiple jobs and a severe disability and then let me know how they feel in my shoes because they probably wouldn't survive a day. But they want to talk about how I manage my time and I don't have time to socialize with them? Where is that in my agreement? I would love to see that line.  

My accommodations will protect me from unreasonable demands and unfounded standards. 

The funny thing is that they really stand out because 99.9% of people have busy lives and mind their business, but you can definitely count on them to respect noise levels, look out for mutual safety and respect personal space which are rights but the desire to encroach on the personal time of strangers and impose unwanted social connection is actually not a right at all. It's a violation of my personal space already and I'm not going to stand for it. 

I plan to stand my ground until the very end, and guess what, most people are satisfied with a smile and nod.

If they wanted to do their antics, at this point, I genuinely don't owe them anything except peace and all the best wishes from a distance and that's already more than most people would do in my situation.   

Again:

I will not disrupt my nervous system to pretend this situation doesn't exist.

Forgiveness doesn't forgo comfort.

Include who wants to be included... and please leave me alone. My social life is elsewhere.

Humanity rides on autonomy, free will, and dignity to choose.

Boundaries are hard lines fencing in my mental wellness at home of all places, grudges aren't the same as boundaries.

Control is not care.

Needing to explain is already a red flag to me.

I don't have to explain myself to people who are not educated on cultural differences and it's not my job to do so... If they feel justified and having targeted me, good for them, but I'm not going to explain my boundaries so they can feel better about it not being about them. That's ridiculous. That's absolutely immature. Why is that my problem in the first place? I don't have time for this.

They've wasted a year of my life, and I'm moving on energetically, now that it is out of my system and out of my life when I am ready and not a day before. 

I can no longer overlook warning signs. It's becoming too costly in the long run. My comfort is more important than anything at this stage in my life and I'm sorry for whoever has hurt feelings, but I'm not going to lower my guard for anybody in any season of my life anymore.

They have to accept that I'm not interested in forced and unwanted connections as I protect my personal space out of self-worth, not fear or safety concerns, but genuine personal comfort and I respect my own cultural differences above pleasing those who aren't entitled to me or anything about me. 

My name is no and what I do is private in my day to day.

No access points are open when it was persistent and subtly forceful and I have a dignified right to refuse.

In 2024, we respect refusal and signs of disinterest. 

Petty antics for almost a year will not be rewarded by my attention.

They need to manage their sense of entitlement if they think my personal space in my home time and around my home is about them and stop making an issue out of nothing. Full stop.

"Boundaries aren't about being in protection mode. Boundaries are about what you have within that is so valuable that you will not allow certain people to come near it or hurt it or whatever. Boundaries stem from self-worth." - Najwa Zebian

For my disability, anything that overexerts my brain and guaranteed mental shut-off time is counted as labor, I am not an entertainer in my zones of privacy. 

My health and life obligations trump what strangers want from me that they can find elsewhere. I don't have unlimited brain power.

Your self-protection has nothing to do with others. Preservation of your time and space doesn't mean there's a threat, it means you respect your obligations and won't be slowed down with a stressful schedule. I don't normally have to explain myself to strangers and I'm not about to start now. If they don't understand and get you naturally, that's too bad. It's still not your problem. They can find people who have similar needs and values to them. It's not complicated. None of this needs to be complicated.

Boundaries are a property line that set the tone on what you will, and will not accept in your life. Boundaries are not divisive barriers or cold - they are guidelines on what is acceptable and not - they keep you safe and no threat is needed to justify their existence.

I find it utterly baffling that someone would be so determined to intrude on your personal sanctuary time, solely because they want something from you, disregarding your well-being for their desires and entertainment at your expense as if you owe them something.

Now, they're upset because you stood your ground, which I find absurd. Defending your personal space shouldn't be necessary, especially to someone outside your household. They have no entitlement to invade your sanctuary; they can focus on their own affairs. It's draining to have to explain this, and frankly, you shouldn't have to deal with it at all. It's incredibly odd.

If you're there to make friends and socialize, phenomenal, do your thing and live your life, if you're there to relax and be left alone, you also have a right to be there and live in peace especially that you're a paying client of a service and amenities. 

I am sure their persistent attempts at approaching me when already told not to by the property manager was just to be friendly and inclusive, but I've made it clear that I don't want to be included so what's the point of trying to catch me when coming home at night when no one else is around while being intoxicated? 

Their view of me is not my reality, I do not care how I am seen or perceived, I care about being left alone. This is my time and I am not here to entertain parasitical people who chose ignorance.

I find it hard to believe that an organized campaign of targeted behaviour towards one person was accidental.  

You don't have to be mad in order to want your personal space respected because it's not about them. I will not explain why I keep to myself in my own home to anybody.

Imagine having a problem with someone who is reserved who has a disability accommodation that you don't need to know anything about, then going out of your way to encroach their space subtly as you think you own others so much as to bother those who bother no one. Accidental? 

Please stop everything that you're doing, stop getting home on time, stop getting to your sleep schedule on time, stop working two jobs, you have an obligation to cater to the whims of the inconsiderate based on proximity, they are the God of your life and rule your schedule too! 

Choosing to disengage from a situation doesn't necessarily indicate anger; it signifies being occupied and unavailable. There's no obligation to justify oneself, nor does disinterest require conflict, hate, or drama; one can walk away mentally without harbouring ill feelings. 

People have things to do so instead of crying because people are busy and don't have time to stop, you should ask yourselves why you feel entitled to delaying them in their tracks? Why is that? What is the point? Why not respect their time?

Making demands on others is what is considered rude, people focussing in their zone and trying to get things done and get to places on time has nothing to do with anyone else.

They're simply individuals residing nearby, without any inherent commonalities. Living close doesn't imply friendship nor does it mean mental availability, and getting too close to a might lead to even *mor* unexpected intrusions. It's natural for people to value privacy and autonomy in choosing friends. 

Someone focused on their own life isn't ignoring you; they simply have different priorities (which they do not need to justify).

Respect quiet people.

Find other social butterflies. Or escorts.

Mind your business. 

Problem solved!

Rather than portraying someone as irrational for declining friendliness, it's important to recognize the idea of unwelcome and forced connections. There's no logical reason for a relationship that only began when they created drama over my desire not to connect further. We have building staff for issues and their intrusion and subtle retaliation has cost me enough.

I'm not responsible for their feelings of rejection and the fact that they are choosing to take my protection of my personal space personally because it has nothing to do with them and I don't have to explain myself. 

I don't believe that insisting on being intrusive is being inclusive, the persistence of it shows that there was an agenda.

Everyone has the right to set boundaries, especially within their personal space and social circles. If these boundaries prompt negative reactions from others, it is their responsibility to manage their feelings.

There is no lawful obligation for me to acquiesce to unwanted social relationships.

The imposition of unwanted relationships doesn't work as an excuse to bother people in 2024. 

Trust is earned.

I don’t have time to build trust with everyone, and most people understand that home is a private space meant for downtime. Just because some prefer a more communal lifestyle doesn’t mean I have to do the same. It’s 2024, and we should respect cultural differences and invisible disabilities to uphold everyone’s rights. The assumption that strangers are entitled to my time and energy doesn’t hold any legal weight, whereas my right to personal space does. Using my need for personal space as an excuse to retaliate against me as a group makes no sense, and I won’t tolerate it. The best way to maintain peace is to respect my personal space and avoid overstepping boundaries, as I have a lot of work to catch up on after being distracted. 

I should be able to do my daily chores in peace and not make it a social ordeal that takes more energy than needed with an invisible disability, and the same goes for getting around my day-to-day priorities. I owe basic courtesies, but nothing more.

Why should I make them feel better about doing what they did behind-the-scenes because they didn't get what they wanted from me because they think they have rights to interfere with the space of other free-willed dignified human beings in the first place? 

The side-effect is that I am uninterested in further dealings and I never was in the first place. 

Respect my wishes that I'm unavailable. It's really that simple.

Anyone who has your best interests at heart and doesn't want anything from you would never be so persistent to single you out as a group and try to come at you in various ways, including mischief. 

Perhaps they lack the same level of responsibilities, but I juggle two jobs, hit the gym, and strive to make it home on schedule all in a single day. Unfortunately, spare time and energy are luxuries I don't possess, especially with a disability. I hope for understanding and respect for my time, rather than entitlement.

Inclusivity is kindness, persistence is control under the cloak of friendliness but it is not the same thing - it's conditional on compliance with strings of submission attached even if it's hard to detect.

The root of unwanted connections (similarly to unwanted help) is control.  

Most people are cautious and avoid bothering strangers without good reason. They don’t typically band together to pressure someone who doesn’t give in to their demands, nor do they monitor strangers. Additionally, using inclusion as a justification for such intrusive behaviour is assuming I am gullible. 

They have no "rights" to impose anything on me.

***I'm not responsible for maintaining the peace for those who have brought chaos into my life, whether intentional or not. I am responsible for my protection and comfort, not theirs at my expense over something I do not owe them in the first place.***

While it's difficult to see an organized retaliation as accidental, my sole duty now is to protect myself, and their emotions are not my concern as taking boundaries personally while I am not the one bothering or imposing taking anything from anyone that doesn't belong to me is not my issue despite them trying to make it my problem. Were they considerate with the chaos-creation? No.  

Every person, regardless of their boundaries, has a right to live in peace in a psychologically and culturally sensitive environment free from unfounded delusional senses of entitlement towards unwanted friendships or unwanted connections. 

Why is it only a few people who are going out of their way to bother me and everyone else is minding their business so it kind of stands out a little bit?

I do not have to engage with them to explain my boundaries to them to get them to back off of me because my boundaries are not about them.

Why would I engage and reward their antics? That's insane.

I'm not going to dignify foolishness with my attention past the point of processing it and handling it, I don't owe them anything. Especially not at this stage. 

If it doesn't fit the segments of your life where you're actually available, it probably means you don't have time for it. It's not personal, it's logistical! We cannot know everyone and as long as don't bother anyone, we are allowed to stay in our lane and be left alone if that's the only respite we get from our hectic lives. 

Psychological safety and cultural sensitivity 101: You do not bring your protective boundaries lower to appease a bulldozer, nor do you have to engage. Never play with your health to prove anything to anyone, their understanding doesn't hold weight: your protection of your wellness and health precedes your functioning and those are more important than anything really.

Once you've clearly communicated your need for solitude, there should be no need for further interaction as you're not responsible for their reaction to your rightful personal protective shield which is about your disability accommodation, not them. 

What the main monitoring spirits (group) have in common is their abundance of spare time, similar age group and seem incentivized to apply pressure to form unwanted connections beyond simply being kind / inclusive due to the pressure - since June 2023.

Your right to choices being fully protected doesn't infringe on others and your general safety has nothing to do with anyone else (it's none of their business unless they want to make it their business). You're not denying them of anything as much as some will act victimized by your limits and use that guise to try to coerce ***unwanted*** interactions, let them play that game on their own as it won't work. 

People’s responses to your boundaries are their choice and their journey.

Engaging in lengthy discussions or defences can sometimes even undermine your decision, making it seem as though your boundary is negotiable.

Protecting your mental, emotional, and physical health is crucial. Others may try to guilt you into believing that your boundaries are an inconvenience or selfish, but your primary responsibility is to yourself. 

No one has the right to demand that you compromise your comfort for their benefit.

I will not be denying my own comfort for someone else's feelings over something that I have no obligations towards in the first place and that is already breaching my personal space rights, that doesn't make any sense, so that idea just needs to die down because it's not going to happen. I would never encourage people with bad boundaries by engaging and defending my boundaries that are about me and revealing unnecessary information just to appease them which is not my responsibility either, they can have their issues as much as they feel like, but I will not be the one to deny my own comfort after they have already caused so much chaos in my life. My obligation is to protect myself first and allow them to be offended as I am not harming anyone.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your boundaries. While it can sometimes help to provide context or reasons, especially in close and consensual relationships with people who do not have issues around the concept of boundaries, it is not a requirement and unwise to provide explanations to those who are already showing unfounded entitlement. 

The necessity to continually justify your boundaries can be exhausting and can diminish your sense of agency and empower them to exhaust you (if you give an inch, they will take a mile and since they're the only ones in the crowd who are so fixated on you and do not mind their business, it's best to maintain your space at all times and not allow them the opportunity to further bother you with unwanted interactions and unwanted forced connections which have no logical basis for existing in these circumstances). 

They're mad that they could not over-ride your free will because they do not see you as a human with priorities, rights, boundaries, and a mind... Just as an extension of their agenda. 

Main characters aren't worried about those types of people.

Keeping to yourself and not bothering anyone is only going to bother people who are easily bothered and who wanted something from you, but they're actually mad that they couldn't push their agenda on you because genuinely kind of people are going to give you your space.

They won't take your comfort and personal space as an attack because unfortunately that's a sign of poor emotional development and potential immaturity and the right people are going to respect your comfort and they're not going to force you into engaging with them just to appease them either because that's another flag that shows that they're putting the feelings of those who have caused chaos above your comfort (no thank you).

If someone has a problem with the limits you’ve set, remember that their discomfort or frustration is their responsibility, not yours.

Why would you want to appease anyone who wants you to be someone other than who you are (as genuine people will not expect you to be anyone but yourself since they're not trying to tamper with your free will) since they're not going to act central in your life, it belongs to YOU.

They could be a good person and you still may not have time for them and that's OK. I don't think they should be going around expecting everybody to have an abundance of time and making themselves central in the lives of people they just met. 

The fact that they feel entitled explanations on how someone else manages their lives and time means that they're indirectly trying to override my personal agency, which isn't going to happen, especially in my home space of all times. That's absolutely ridiculous and they are not being friendly, they are being controlling, intrusive, and forceful to try to push me around and break my guard down... No.  

Just because they knock each other's door down at any time and are all up in each other's business does not mean I have to live the same way as I have a permanent and severe disability, which is a protected class in housing services. And they will not be getting in the way of my accommodations. They need cultural sensitivity.   

If respect is not innate, no thank you.

Under no circumstances will my comfort be compromised to massage their feelings which are not my responsibility over something I am not obligated to do in the first place (I am not obligated towards unwanted friendships or any unwanted connection in any area of life beyond what's owed).

Defending yourself from anything unwanted isn't an instigation if you're dealing with people who respect boundaries.

I am not a fan of anything underhanded or situations that try to pressure me, even once, into unwanted connections that don't have a real obligation for existing above my right to peace and quiet in my home space under a disability accommodation regardless of their explanations (because they seem to have an agenda at my own expense and I am not interested in being forced when no previous connection existed until they tried to force it and that is not wanted).

I don't have to be ambushed for anything and I don't have to be ambushed (already intrusive as an approach and most people would let it go and not make it an issue to begin with and not make it about themselves to justify subtle tactics of retaliation) because someone else has an issue with the fact that I want to be left alone so the ambushing is a problem and so is the fact that I'm not being left alone and it looks like I'm being forced to now engage to explain myself wanting to be left alone and none of this is making sense...

Ambushing someone who wants to be left alone to ask them why they want to be left alone because you're choosing to take it personally and making it into an issue to resolve at all is odd (it isn't and no forced unwanted relationships are welcome in my life under any guise) - so what you're doing is bulldozing the boundaries of another person (personal space/privacy/schedule monitoring) so that you can ask them why they have boundaries because you're in charge of their space or something? It's none of your business. 

Making it about themselves and feeling entitled to be intrusive and invasive in their approach in the first place (regardless of the reason around demanding explanations on my personal boundaries when they do not own the place) is showing a lack of respect for the personal autonomy of others because of a non-issue: a free-willed human being seeking to be left alone in their own space. No one needs to be asked why they want to be left alone, they do not report to them. ⛔️

The reason for their ambushes was to confront me about my rightful boundaries because they made it about themselves so they are now justifying invading my space times two? They wanted to ambush me which is already intrusive to ask me why I want to be left alone and that's also intrusive? Why did they make it about themselves in the first place and why was that a justification for approximately a full year of being monitored without my consent? This is not the same as general safety cameras - this was personally watching my schedule as a trio. If they saw that it was clear that I wanted to be left alone - they did not have to make it about themselves and intrude even further. The fact that they made it about themselves was used to justify monitoring my schedule personally so that they could find a window of time to confront me about why I want to be left alone alone in my own space? I don't understand. I don't even want to understand at this point. 

I just want to be left alone. And now I have a accommodations to back it up so they're going to have to back off for real. There's no reason to ask me what my boundaries are about and there's no reason to ask me why I want to be left alone or to make it about themselves to justify monitoring me, which is already intrusive, it's not wise to assume that it's even about them, so it should be very simple, please leave me alone. 

I was monitored without my consent because they wanted to make my boundaries about them? Do you hear how silly this sounds.

Them having a problem with the boundaries is actually not my problem to begin with, and it should have never been made my problem and my boundaries don't have to be questioned just because they don't agree with it, they have to respect it. They do not own the place.  

They must realize that they have no authority and authorization over others and they do not own other people.

Making it about themselves was the reason to justify monitoring.

If you explain your boundaries, they will see it as a negotiation and they will try to find another point of access and there are no points of access in my own home space and I think that's clear by now.

I will look out for mutual safety, I will respect your space, and I will call 911 if there's a fire, but nobody is going to trump my disability accommodation boundaries within my own space because that's a protected class and what they want from me is not an actual right, it's an unfounded desire that I do not have to deal with at my own expense when I do not want those connections. They are forced connections.

And no one is going to try to make me explain why I want to be left alone, they're just going to leave me alone and that's really very simple.

Since I have a do not disturb sign on my door, they want to orchestrate ambushes instead and how did they think that was going to work in their favor? Because they want to ask me if my boundaries are about them? So already they're encroaching on my personal autonomy to set boundaries in the first place, they want to intrude on my personal space and invade my life to ask me what my boundaries are about? And they want to make it all about themselves, that's interesting. Why do they feel authorized to do all of this? I wonder why they feel comfortable doing that.   

Their disrespect for the concept of boundaries is not mine to suffer for in the first place and I should not have had to go through my schedule being monitored and just because of their problem with my boundaries. It was never about them and the fact that they made it about themselves justified them monitoring me? 

Their intolerance to the boundaries of others, and the differences of others and cultural insensitivity is not my issue to suffer about any longer.

They simply have to make peace with the fact that they don't own everybody that lives here. They only own themselves. That's a control issue that they have to manage.

It's not because they want to convince me of their good intentions that I'm going to drop my guard. All they need to do is leave me alone. It's really not complicated.

Invading someone's personal space to whine about their boundaries implies a sense of entitlement, which I find rude. The solution isn't for me to sacrifice my comfort but for them to respect my boundaries and cease their intrusive behaviour.

There are no logical grounds for these forced connections, and I've been here for over a decade with no issues so I'm not going to have anyone try to force me to connect with people that I would prefer not to connect with for personal space and comfort reasons and I'm not going to have anyone try to ask me what a better approach would be or what a better time would be because unfortunately there is none. I simply want to be left alone and I shouldn't have to deal with this in the first place. This isn't about getting along or not. This is about not forcing themselves onto people for absolutely no reason, the best way to get along is to mind your business. I'm not going to breach my own comfort for anybody else.

I don't have to engage in conversation about why I want to be left alone in my own sanctuary, it should have been respected the first time as if my disinterest was unclear?

Making it about themselves is already an issue. But it's not my issue and it will not be made my issue.

I will not be forced into connecting with anyone that I don't feel comfortable connecting with. It has nothing to do with personal safety, but it has to do with personal comfort and my lack of interest and time. 

There is *no* available time.

That's part of life.

I am not going to teach them that their retaliation is going to be rewarded by me engaging with them. That would be insane. 

Their judgment and lack of awareness that I am not the last person who will refuse unwanted connections who lives here doesn't give them the authority to dictate who can live in peace without interference.

It's time someone stood up to them, and that someone is me. I won't yield to their unwarranted demands. 

I will not be compromising my personal comfort level to prove that I'm capable of getting along with everyone or any of that because it's not worth the stress. We have no basis for interacting, there is no need, they are not my housemates. I don't want their invitations.

They should not have retaliated in the first place if they were worried about getting along with people who are different than them, they retaliated because they disagree with my right to boundaries because they think that they own other people and I'm afraid that's not my problem.  

I have nothing in common with old men three times my age just because they want to be friends by force. I'm not interested.  

Peace is achieved by respecting people's boundaries and not making a fuss of it and simply leaving me alone so this would not be an issue if they were capable of doing that. 

It's 2024 and they don't get to control other people and they just have to get a grip and come to terms with that.

I shouldn't even be expected to be comfortable around people who retaliated indirectly. That's a very unrealistic expectation. It's not a grudge, it's a boundary.

Again...

I shouldn't even be expected to be comfortable around people who retaliated indirectly towards my boundaries they chose to take as an offense... only to fake the peace when leaving me alone is real peace, ceasing unwanted interference with my tenancy which I have a right to living in peace as they don't own the place.

Interference with the tenancy of others because you don't agree with their boundaries or bothering them in the first place to try to make their boundaries about yourself is another form of interference that people with disabilities don't need and it risks the landlord's ability to comply with disability accommodations due to nuisance, which is a massive liability on them for no
reason other than inflated egos and obnoxiousness.

No one can dictate your comfort levels to you or try to erase or bulldoze them.

You don't have the right to intrude on others simply because you seek explanations regarding their boundaries, which aren't even about you. It's illogical. Most people respect boundaries and mind their own business. When someone consistently shows disinterest for a year, it's unusual to still pursue interaction. There may be underlying reasons. Additionally, it's vital to recognize that some individuals have invisible disabilities, necessitating solitude for their well-being. Without knowing someone's situation, it's best to refrain from disturbing those who haven't bothered you. Not everyone desires deeper connections, and it's crucial to respect strangers' privacy and personal space. Proximity doesn't equate to permission to enter someone's life. It's prudent to focus on your own affairs and respect the wishes of those who require solitude/personal space under accommodations.

It is a liability to jeopardize the property management company to carry out disability accommodations. Interfering with another tenant's accommodation is a dangerous game. 

I shouldn't have to compromise my comfort for those who haven't respected it for nearly a year. If nothing were happening, I wouldn't be speaking up. I don't need to prioritize their unfounded entitlement over my own well-being (for which I'm actually responsible), especially when it's not obligatory, and there's no justification for unwanted, coerced connections on the basis of proximity in a high crime area.

Do I deserve to face unwanted pressure simply because I choose not to forge closer-than-necessary relationships with people just because they're nearby? I should be free to be kind yet also value my personal space. We don't have to be friends, and I don't need to prove anything by being best friends with someone. It's not about having issues with them; it's about feeling comfortable and not feeling intruded upon. I should be able to live in peace without necessarily being friends with everyone around me. 

I am clearly not annoy nuisance, I don't bother anyone, I keep to myself because I have a life and a disability. They wanted to take it personally and make it about them so they started an underhanded retaliation campaign and even attempted property damage. They make it hard to prove on purpose.

Living among others while being respectful and kind is entirely feasible, while also maintaining one's own space and boundaries. Many people are occupied with their own lives, and this reality should be acknowledged and respected: people are BUSY and they don't owe anyone outside their immediate household any explanation when no basis for an unwanted relationship exists. I refuse to justify my boundaries to strangers or engage in defending them, let alone explain why I have a life and am busy. This notion is perplexing, and there should be a simpler way to assertively encourage others to respect personal space.

People concerned about fostering good relationships understand that respecting others' autonomy is essential. Proximity alone doesn't justify unwanted entanglements or the expectation of automatic friendships. It's unfair to intrude on others' lives or pressure them into socializing just because they live nearby. Everyone has their own lives and boundaries, and adding unnecessary stress isn't helpful.

Why do you have to be mad at someone in order to justify not making new friends around where you live when you're literally literally someone who keeps yourself and has your own life outside of that?

Why do I have to explain myself?

Why do they feel entitled?

I find it odd that I've changed my gym schedule so that I don't get ambushed on my way back at night by people who are not in my household and think that it's acceptable to just delay people coming in and out not knowing if I'm returning to work to finish my hours for the day.

I can't justify disrupting/getting in the way of/disrupting someone's day, particularly a stranger who's clearly busy and possibly struggling to keep up with their schedule. I cannot grasp putting their thirst for attention, especially when seemingly intoxicated, above the schedules of people they do not know and own.

Persistence isn’t always about inclusion. Sometimes, it seems like they either want to control me or cut down my defenses, neither of which will happen. I won't encourage such behavior. It's 2024, and as long as I pay my rent and keep to myself, I expect the same courtesy in return. I'm polite, but I don’t see the need to share my life with anyone I do not choose, and since most people respect that boundary, it makes any intrusion all the more glaring.

I think the solution is for them to find willing participants and persisting for this long is getting a little bit weird for me. 🚩🚩🚩

They might argue it's impolite to decline a conversation, but I find it discourteous to hold up individuals rushing in and out of their homes. Consideration must be given to be returned!

Once you shed light on the ongoing disturbances for a year, they might fabricate trivial grievances against you (like their feelings being hurt as a justification for retaliation because you do not want to be their friend or socialize during sacred private home time), and that's how they operate  and I'm ready for it.

They can find other companions and other people to demand favours from I'm sure. It's a high-rise after all, why don't they go bother someone else?

Not being interested and not wanting to get closer than smiling and nodding is actually not a problem and not indicative of bad relationships, so that's not solved by making me destroy my comfort levels.

They wanted to make it an issue that I keep to myself and my own home so they decided to retaliate at me for a year and now that they're caught, they're probably going to come up with trivial complaints and I'm fine with that. 

People are here to rent a unit and live their life, forced companions/people are not part of the rental agreement contract, and I absolutely did not sign up for unwanted forced connections.  

People are not property, so you can't lay claim on them and obligate them to do anything or force yourself into their lives in an indirect and undermining manner nor can you dismantle their personal peace boundaries, which frankly have nothing to do with you. 

It is inappropriate to monitor the schedule of strangers or seemingly monitor their schedule to orchestrate unwanted run-ins that otherwise would not happen if they were not monitoring my schedule. It's forcing time when there is no time available and that's not acceptable to me. It is disrupting my daily life. Why? To ask me about my boundaries and to make it about themselves? So that's two counts of intrusion instead of just one.

People have a right to assert their right to not be intruded on and their own private sanctuary and let people know that they should not be disturbed.  

People should be able to live their own lives and still feel safe with those nearby and living their own lives. Doesn't mean they feel unsafe with those nearby, it means they're extremely busy and their first priority should be their own household obligations.

I don't really feel the need to manage other people's feeling at my own expense at this age.

I don't believe that persistence equates to inclusion. Instead, it often feels like an attempt to erode personal boundaries, which is strange and inappropriate, especially when it comes from strangers or a group. It reveals a sense of entitlement that isn't justified. Everyone should be able to live their own life without having to justify their boundaries just because of proximity. Typically, people respect privacy and don't cause trouble simply because someone is different or has a disability.

However, if in my living situation the agreed-upon accommodations for my tenancy are not upheld due to the actions of a few, this not only challenges my rights but unfairly places a burden on the property management.

This situation is fundamentally unfair to them and stems from the shady behaviour of a few disruptive individuals.

***It's not a grudge, it's a boundary.***   

No one is mad at anybody, and nobody needs to justify the fact that they have their own lives and living nearby does not obligate unwanted friendships. People literally have extremely stressful lives and they're obligated to their own household first like any grown adult would be. We choose what we do with our overflow. I get to choose my friends.  

I just don't feel like your home should be a place you need to escape from. I feel like it should be a sanctuary.

I don't feel I should be ambushed to be guilt-tripped about why I keep to myself on home time for people who want to make my focus disability accommodation and privacy mean something about them. Busy/private/in a hurry: the end. No available time exists.

It's not a few who just can't mind their business for the life of them who make the rules for everyone else. I don't feel like I should leave my dwelling place before I'm ready. Just because of a few people who act large and in charge. In 2024: cultural norms / boundaries differ.

I will not be making myself *uncomfortable* to prove anything to anybody who isn't actually in need of an explanation as no basis exists for it other than contriving pointless drama to coerce it.   

We all have a choice to manage our energy/attention/time how we want in any area of life and all needs are valid, both the social and non-social people, as long as partaking is not coerced.

Wanting to be left alone is a statement and a boundary and not a negotiation or a discussion which will only give these people wiggle room to break it down. I'm also not obligated to provide them explanations because we are not in a committed relationship. ⛔️

I will not be making myself uncomfortable to prove to anybody that I am not being difficult with having standards for what I allow in my life.

They seem very bothered by private/busy people, and you cannot count on them to respect your space which is ironic because the basics are bring missed. I have had parcels go missing, delivery notice cards go missing and building notices from my mailbox go missing. That's only the surface level of it and I just wish they would get a hobby.

The first sign of lower-level sneaky sh*t, coercion, and pressure is treated like a red flag as it escalates to more "parasite in human form" behaviour and it shows unfounded entitlement that has no basis for existing and is illogical to a high degree, and I do not deal with that.

It's not welcoming, it's freaky.

Anyone who tries to impose themselves on others likely struggles with ego issues, which is far from inclusive. It's manipulative and controlling. In 2024, no one can override free choice, and rules are not dictated by their whims but through property management (they're not the one in charge of the private lives of other tenants). I'm simply living my life, not trying to fit in as that's not what I am here for, I am here for cheap rent. Having boundaries is normal, not a fault or cause for unwarranted underhanded nuisance.

Bothering someone for maintaining their personal space, especially in their own home, is immature. Those who react negatively to boundaries really need to examine their motives and consider why they target someone who keeps to themselves. The best way to coexist is to mind your own business and respect others' privacy.

It wouldn't be because of the bulldozers, but rather, the high criminality that I would look to make a change at my pace in my own timing. Because there's going to be bulldozers in any place potentially and they're not going to decide where I go, and when I go and how I live and interfere with my living situation.

That's literally removing someone's stability and it's not acceptable. I have an issue with the high crime regardless, but I'm not going to have my living situation and peaceful circumstances interfered with for any reason by people causing issues out of nothing because that's not what's going to drive me out, that's going to be handled.

The "culture" is not decided by a group of bulldozers, the culture is decided by the rule of law, and the fact that diversity and inclusion respects cultural norms with varying boundaries and neurodiversity. In addition, there's the "live & let live" concept that exists in 2024.

***Interfering with peaceful individuals isn't inclusive; it's disrespectful to disrupt their day to demand justifications as to why they keep to themselves which has nothing to do with you. Young women in this community aren't here to amuse you; if you seek entertainment, consider other avenues like hiring professional hookers, we have plenty around us for you to choose from.***

The fact that they want to bother and be bothered by people who keep to themselves and who are literally rushing around to get things done because they don't have a lot of time to stop and reward people who will ambush them and stop their day in its tracks to suck up their energy for nothing because they need attention so badly (inconsideration, ambushes, monitoring my schedule after I changed it 25 times), those are the kinds of people who will never be satisfied no matter what you do so it's best to literally not try - and keep minding your business because appeasing them is not the solution.

I don't think it's that difficult to include who wants to be included and leave the rest alone unless they're trying to make an issue out of nothing.

Leaving someone alone is a clear boundary and a clear wish that is to be respected. You don't have to understand anything about it and you don't have to make it about yourselves.

Picking on people who mind their business is a sign to perhaps find other things to do with your time...

I won't dignify their subtle actions with a reaction, as it would only validate their behaviour, and frankly, I have better things to do with my time. I will get it handled, but I won't destroy my comfort in the process...

I'm not a suitable match for those seeking entertainment or someone to unload their responsibilities or favors onto. With multiple jobs and a disability, I'm committed to my chosen charity and various humanitarian efforts. I prefer to keep to myself at home and don't understand why some find that problematic. However, they'll need a reality check; my disability accommodation for housing makes their nuisance campaign hard to justify.

I do not owe them unwanted connections or my automatic trust in 2024:

I look out for people's safety, I do not make noise, I do not steal, I do not interfere with anyone's enjoyment of the actual property, and I respect personal privacy and my personal safety camera seems to only be an issue for those who wanted to "breach" security in some manner as their distracting tantrums disrupting my workday made clear. 

If they fail to acknowledge social cues and the fact that someone is busy or unavailable, or if they insist on demanding immediate attention without regard for others' schedules or boundaries, especially when obvious signals like wearing headphones are present, then it's not my responsibility to address and I would not bother because they're full of excuses and denials.

There is a difference between genuine and straight up nosy-energy-vampire energy who doesn't care if you're in a hurry - they clearly have an agenda and maybe want to leech off of you and that's why they match your schedule like clockwork, and I can tell the difference between genuine and straight up weird sh*t.

Who has the time to monitor a stranger? Holy guacamole.

You have the full right to distance yourself from anything that makes you uncomfortable, as your privacy is a fundamental right. No one else's desires or expectations give them an entitlement to your time or presence. It's important that they stop coordinating their schedules to encounter me deliberately because genuine interactions should happen naturally.

It feels strange and intrusive when people intentionally orchestrate nonsense. 

If it was genuine kindness, there would be no contrived and orchestrated ambushes and if there is no natural times for run-ins where someone isn't rushing and you're not on the same schedule, they'd let it go and back off easily as these monitoring spirits act like they're paid! No one is *that* fixated on "including" people who have no interest in forced socializing who are happy keeping to themselves and looking out for safety threats. 

Creepers can't do what they did in the 1950's now with high tech security. 🤷‍♀️

If people who don't know you from a can of paint feel excessively entitled to your resources, time, and energy even at the expense of your own household... and will find passive aggressive ways to stomp so to speak since you're not giving them what they want from you: parasites.

Normal and organic interactions are not the same as popping up on people like clockwork and forcing yourself into their day when they are trying to get somewhere on time or home on time for a strict schedule which monitoring spirits who appear less busy may not grasp, which is kind of disrespectful if you're not respecting social cues in the first place. It just gives off odd vibes.

Ambushing and monitoring is nosey, genuine is genuine. 

***I wonder how they'll be able to justify their nonsense once my tenancy is under an accommodation for a severe and permanent disability and their nuisance is stopping the property manager from carrying out accommodations.***

Lurking is not the same as moving towards someone, waiting for them, or pointing at them with intent to approach after a few people told them to leave me alone as I am not comfortable around certain people, especially in a higher crime environment (I have my own safety measures, I don't care to mix and mingle as I already know who is involved in crime sadly). 

Of course, it would be easier to be living near people who don't resort to those things, but at the same time, I have every right to be here. 

I've reached an age where if I sense the need to keep my distance from some, I trust my instincts without hesitation. I don't waste energy verifying what my body already tells me.

One ounce of bulldozing will repel me forever.

They need to find willing participants for "companionship" or whatever their "needs" are for whatever/resources... and like I said, this is easier among escorts which we have plenty of those around here, but I am ***not*** one so leave me be. 😂 I have stuff to do and no stranger is going to whine in my face about not spending time I do not have and no one genuine would expect that in the first place above my household or own wellness first.

***Privacy is healthy as it gives people the *choice* on getting close or not, there's nothing healthy or inclusive about being intrusive or forceful. It's a little obvious when someone wants to use proximity to control a situation or manipulate their way into the life of strangers.***

Kindness isn't aggressive underhandedly and demanding. It is graceful, without an agenda and persistence. No one would try that hard without an agenda. No one.

Intruding on personal space to question the boundary of a stranger is already illogical.

If someone shows disinterest, why would you monitor them further to find out why because you think they owe you an explanation? No one is mad at anyone, just please mind your business and their accept rejection of unwanted social connections which have no basis for existing at all. They don't owe you anything to make you feel better... but what you have to stop doing is being intrusive.

Focus "blinders" is how I get anything done, it's having a bubble around your day so that it runs on time and that's how my ADHD gets managed away from shiny object syndrome. I do not have energy or brain cells for pointless socializing in my home time when it's completely needless to hound me when there are plenty of others to choose from, especially hookers.

 That's me being focused on my destination and unable to be late, how is that an issue? Oh it's because I didn't revolve my day around those who act large and in charge so they resorted to mischief. 

Kindness is inherently sincere, without ulterior motives. Individuals who constantly seek attention and drain others of energy resemble overgrown toddlers, craving validation rather than genuine connection. Their focus is on boosting their own ego, rather than fostering inclusivity.

The lack of respect for mental energy and the need for quiet is blatant because some of us work multiple jobs and since we work all day, we don't want to be hounded with loud and obnoxious forced  socialization when we're just trying to get to and from our destination. There is nothing inclusive about wanting to just consume and monopolize someone's time. This is not genuine at all.

Mentally recharging on home time without demands should not be complicated especially if I do not have housemates and my lease agreement doesn't say "rooming" house.

Following intense focus, we experience a mental crash, so I value and need time to disconnect and recharge in tranquility, free from unnecessary noise, chaos, or chatter. Mentally, I'm not in an active state during my private downtime and needless chatter is draining the very little time off I have especially if it is forced and inorganic.

***To me, community embodies looking out for mutual safety without needing to know anything about anyone else that they do not wish to share (sensing that no threat exists, overall good vibes), inherent comfort, respect for shared space, grace, consideration for noise levels, and individuals who understand the importance of privacy (just the basics) unless it's a need for a 911 call. They respect that home isn't always social time for everyone and don't feel entitled to others' resources or time and stomping like child if they don't get their demands gratified since they respect that they're not central in the lives of strangers and have no right to get in their way and make their day delayed as a principle (regardless of the length of an interruption, you do not delay people: you respect that there is *no* available time and get over it by finding those with the same needs as you and you leave the rest alone like grown ups who are capable of cultural sensitivity, common sense, and respecting differences rather than passive aggressively forcing their way into the lives of unwilling participants). Genuine people see others as fellow humans with their own life, not as tools to fulfill their demands and whims to gratify their overblown egos from hell.***

These persistent individuals, despite their intentions to be friendly, exhibit intrusive behavior by closely monitoring a stranger's schedule without justification. This invasion of privacy is doubly problematic as it disregards personal boundaries and ignores the individual's need for space, particularly when dealing with a severe focus disability. It's important to assert that living nearby does not entitle them to impose themselves or demand explanations about one's time management. Maintaining boundaries, respecting shared spaces, and prioritizing personal security are paramount.

There's no obligation to entertain unwanted connections or justify one's actions to those who haven't been previously engaged with.

Furthermore, the assumption that someone's quiet demeanour implies hostility is mentally very immature.

Dealing with such individuals can be draining, especially when they deny their behaviour and attempt to manipulate the situation. It's crucial to identify the instigator and address their disruptive behaviour, as their actions disregard others' well-being and solely serve to satisfy their own ego. 

Go find others who don't require quiet recharge time for their disability's survival to annoy and leave me alone. No one is mad at anyone, this is not high school. 😂

Deliberately delaying others, regardless of the overall interruption time, indicates a desire to prioritize oneself over your punctuality. This behaviour suggests they may be looking to "use" you and showing disrespect for your time. Back off.

***Intruding into someone's life under the guise of proximity is a breach of boundaries, disregarding their free will and disrupting my ADHD quiet time accommodation. Your desires do not override my rights to privacy and personal space.***

Being street smart is under-rated. Protecting my comfort is a right, what they want from me is not my responsibility no matter how they may try to "twist" the situation. I do not even know these people! Calm the obsession down because it freaks me the eff out. 

NO ONE trumps my instincts and comfort over unfounded fake expectations that are not rooted in logic.

No one has the right to manipulate the notion of proximity to impose unwanted connections or leech off of your resources and energy, especially after being intrusive. Given our lack of commonality and my disinterest, respect and minding their business is the only appropriate response.

Engaging with people who resort to forcing unwanted interactions or seemingly spying on your schedule is absolutely insane and is a means to cover up your discomfort. No. The onus is not on you to keep the peace. 🚩🚩🚩

All I gotta say is the worst stories make for the best books.  

Preferring quiet is a personal choice that inherently respects the boundaries of others. By opting for tranquility, individuals uphold a peaceful coexistence without imposing their preferences onto others. This choice neither insults nor infringes upon anyone's space or possessions. Instead, it fosters a conducive environment for personal reflection and mental rejuvenation, allowing individuals to recharge their minds and function optimally in their daily lives and this respects neurodiversity and the free will of others. This self-care practice only insults people who cannot take advantage of you or use you. Offend them anyway! It's not like they see you as a free-willed human with rights. They clearly are wanting something from you, oh well, no spare time.

It's sick to think I would bow down to some energy vampire who wants to rule other people in their home space.

Fools who are strangers and think you "report" to them, you think I am going to explain refusing to be ambushed at night on my way into my unit when exhausted from a workout / on a tight sleep schedule as I work two jobs with a disability? That's a good reason to gang-target me! Fools who are strangers and think you "report" to them, you think I am going to explain refusing to be ambushed at night on my way into my unit when exhausted from a workout / on a tight sleep schedule as I work two jobs with a disability? That's a good reason to gang-target me!

It's not which ones are gang-monitoring you, it's which ones aren't and after already demonstrating lower-level intrusion, no one in their right mind would confront or engage with that, not to mention, the ones who drink in public and lurk common spaces intoxicated, I feel so safe! 

You cannot explain to monitoring spirits that doing all of that is weird... 

You don't need a lot of discernment to see that a lot of twisted people will retaliate towards boundaries that are different than theirs, but that does not invalidate the boundary. Some people are quiet and that's part of Neurodiversity.

You should feel safe in your sanctuary no matter who you do or do not live with and what a gang of middle aged bullies thinks of your disability-based requirement for mental recharge time and you being clearly in a hurry during your comings/goings if you bother no one.

Your personal security is not an investment that you want to skimp out on. Get it firing on all cylinders because you never know. It's not about an imminent threat, it's about prevention and it's about self-respect. You don't have to feel unsafe in order to increase your guard.

You should be able to be introverted and not under covert targetting in your sanctuary. No one needs to know f all about me to know I am able to look out for mutual safety, space, respect noise and that I am not a threat : I simply like to mind my business, so should they.

Your basic needs are your responsibility and that includes protecting quiet mental recharge time, we're way past the point of explaining schedules / responsibilities / obligations / how core obligations become a backlog when not tended to / how this all ties to overall sanity (snowballs otherwise) to convenience-based takers. No.

If you're there to make friends and socialize, phenomenal, do your thing and live your life, if you're there to relax and be left alone, you also have a right to be there and live in peace especially that you're a paying client of a service and amenities (all you owe really is graciousness).

Emotional intimacy is a choice.

If my only breathing space in my day is errands and chores, I will not have attention-seekers destroy my tenancy accommodation with bulldozing which isn't the same as natural grace or genuine kindness. ⛔️  

Living alone is only an issue that opportunists or such types of people would target you about, psychologically safe people don't do stuff like that!

I don't allow people to just get in my way and delay me in my day-to-day life for no reason when they can clearly see that I'm rushing so why on earth would I allow someone who seemingly was waiting for me at night time after the gym uninvited to delay me? I think it's kind of rude to get in someone's way when they're trying to follow their sleep schedule on time and you don't even know if they're working multiple jobs? What business is it of yours that someone didn't stop to chitchat in the middle of the night when coming back from the gym and visibly in a hurry and extremely tired with no mental brain cells for unwanted overstimulation, when they need prior to going to sleep, and why do you feel like the world revolves around you? 

Thinking time requires quiet peace and if you're busy, you combine this with chores and errands and those doing the encroaching and demanding to delay others even after long busy days do not give a rat's a** about their time, they want something and it's obvious that it's an entitled mentality that means you no good.

***I go home to recharge my mental batteries, not for forced socializing or mental overstimulation that truly isn't a real requirement...*** 

I leave only enough time to get to and from my destination so if someone who I do not know thinks they can bulldoze my already-stressful day: nope. 

I don't know anybody who's coming home at night who isn't in a serious rush to get home and get to sleep (busy people struggle to sleep enough) and who doesn't like being ambushed by strangers who were not invited to wait around for their return? 🚩🚩🚩

Most people leaving their house are trying to get to a destination and when I'm coming home, I've only left enough time to commute back and get to my sleep schedule on time / I'm not gonna have anybody delay my sleep schedule. That's kind of inconsiderate - esp. at 11PM? WTF. 🚩🚩🚩🚩

I leave enough time to get to my destination and then to get to my sleep schedule on (two jobs) and anyone that has a problem with me having an issue with being ambushed/slowed down/delayed on my way back at night... Ask me if I owe consideration to the blatantly inconsiderate? 👀👀👀

Shared space is shared space but my private daily life is not a public space. It's unacceptable for anyone other than your boyfriend, roommate or housemate to be lingering around at your arrivals persistently even upon changing your schedule many times or regardless of intent.

You should never explain yourself or argue with people to have below average understanding because people who resort to monitoring others as a gang don't deserve your words. Protect yourself out there.

I don't feel comfortable knowing about people unless they want me to, and only knowing what they want me to know so when people act like they're entitled to knowing things about you or having access to you when you don't feel comfortable, it just kind of weirds me out.

To generate issues with someone who minds their own business just to insert yourself into their life requires a combination of deep boredom and creativity, driven by desperation and a rather distasteful desire for relevance.

I think you should have to tell someone that it's weird that they are popping up at the same same time as you and randomly and seemingly waiting for you upon your arrival home when you don't even know them, I'm sorry that that's just not the types of people I want to engage with because it's just not comfortable for me. I also feel more comfortable in my own bubble when I'm home so it is what it is.

Unwise to give an inch to people who would take a mile, and you're not a bad person for refusing to put yourself last, managing and protecting your mental health and personal space which precede you providing for your household/ fundraiser. No one has a right to invade your life.

Insistence is rude after any signal (non-verbal or otherwise is given), refusal/being busy is not.

Physical proximity does not always equate to mental availability or energy, especially for individuals coping with disabilities like ADHD. Despite being nearby, some people may be running on low reserves and need time to recharge, particularly after strenuous activities like late-night gym sessions. It's essential to respect others' boundaries and signals, as interrupting their day without invitation can be incredibly rude.

Ignoring social cues and interfering with people's comings and goings is disrespectful and disregards their need for personal space and downtime when they have *no* mental energy and require their mental battery recharge time.

Mental energy is low! Oh well! 

If you don't have time for something or someone, it's about your schedule, not their value. However, not everyone deserves your attention if they disrespect your time and act entitled.

Entitled people are not worth your time and that's the bottom line. They clearly have attachment issues that are unfounded.

No, consideration is not owed when none is given to you in the first place and they are actually the ones who want something from you, but they're not even giving you consideration? It's completely crazy.

You're not obligated to consider people who are blatantly disrespecting your time, energy, and personal space. All you have to do is find ways to get them to back up off of you because you don't have to engage with people who resort to those types of things in the first place and who think that being monitoring spirits is normal. They will defend being monitoring spirits so hard and act like it's actually a normal thing to do to people. 

You can be neutral, but you don't have to go out of your way for people who have blatantly disrespected you or your health conditions or are showing you no consideration, but somehow expect consideration in return? It's a two-way street in life.

They also call being a monitoring spirit inclusive, which is kind of odd.

You must rely on your instincts regarding clear indicators that you need to establish and uphold healthy boundaries, regardless of others' opinions or attempts to sway you. They don't have the same perspective as you, so you don't require their validation to trust your own judgment, as everyone has their own motives.

These are the kinds of people who don't have business of their own to mind and they will gossip about you, it's really weird because what I do has nothing to do with them, but they want to make what I do or don't do mean something about them so they create drama out of thin air so as to disrupt my life and guess what, it's not going to work. Get you some hookers, escorts, and leave me be!  

Thou shall not bother me in my home space, is this complicated?

I like having an audience online ONLY. I'm just not a fan of having it in real life and I just wish they would do something else with their time like make their own lives better? Maybe take responsibility for their lives and do something with their time? 

There were many different groups trying me at once it appears...

The combination of stealing my name online and promoting scams for clickbait, hacking my phone/malware on my phone, my location was also traced at one point, people hacking my social media accounts, and then the IRL group of stalkers has actually increased my stress tolerance to heights I never thought I could handle.

I have different softwares protecting my computer and my iPhone since the hacking and I want to share it on a blog soon as I feel like everyone should have it even if you're not a target of past whack-a-doodle-doos. I also have different shields for cards in wallet from scanners.