Why Introverts with ADHD Need Alone Time and a Small Circle

In a world that often prizes extroversion and constant social engagement, introverts with ADHD can find themselves at odds with some societal expectations (although it is losing its stigma).

Their unique combination of personality traits and neurological differences necessitates a lifestyle that prioritizes alone time, a small social circle for logistical and time management reasons due to only having 6 days to manage my life not 7 due to a crash day, and firm boundaries. 

It's our own job to cultivate peace and joy within ourselves and then share it with the right people, but anybody that comes to take your peace and your joy does not belong anywhere near your life (supposedly well-meaning or not). Don't be afraid to trim the fat.

You can't work things out logically with those who want dominance over others and go out of their way to punish their boundaries underhandedly, those are the kinds of people who will deny and gaslight absolutely everything so they are best avoided.

HOME = UNINTERRUPTED SANCTUARY = basic self-care as no one needs to be mentally switched "on" 24/7 and no genuine person will be offended by different boundaries:

Home is the most private sphere of a busy person's life, and no one is entitled to invade or disrespect this space. 🛑

They need to understand that I do not have time to entertain unwanted intrusions. I was not born to please or entertain those who disregard the personal space of others. There are laws against imposing unwanted connections on people. The only things that are mandatory are basic courtesy, respect for noise levels, respect for space, and mutual security—concepts these people fail to comprehend. I do not owe anyone my personal information or an unwanted connection. My home is a sanctuary for my disability and existing work obligations, and my non-existent or limited free time is spent with people of my choosing, such as actual friends and family. I am not setting my household on fire to entertain someone else. They should find people with similar needs and learn to leave others alone. Unless it's a 911 issue, I expect consecutive work or recharge time and I will *not* apologize for a medical disability requiring this. Adults respect personal space. Busy people need quiet. 

No one with sense will make anyone out to be the bad one for wanting to be left alone on the private spheres of their life (home and gym for me), this is what being responsible for one's own mental recharge time and obligations (requiring energy replenishing) looks like.

Quiet is "weird" for energy leeches. Mature people mind their business and do not encroach and view boundaries as a green-light for transgressing.

Invasive people want something from you. People who care for your wellness will never invade your privacy. Personal space and personal choice is what humanity comes down to. (Personal safety measures when dire is different than creeping on people unprovoked).

I am also not going to slow myself down when going to and from my destinations for people who seem to be bothered by those who don't have the spare time - I feel like a polite nod is enough for most and I am under no obligation to cater to those for whom nothing is ever enough and they'll be exhausting to deal with as they push against boundaries consistently. Perhaps learn to read social cues? Or if you can read social cues and you are deliberately disrespecting them, ask yourself why you feel entitled to the time of others because I don't give my time to the ungrateful and entitled gossips?

If someone has been warned that their actions are unwelcome and they continue to send others to do the same on their behalf, it is not a misunderstanding. They are deriving sadistic pleasure from attempting to try provoking you. This applies to anyone who repeatedly engages in behaviour you've asked them to stop. These individuals deliberately aim to irritate you as those who respect you would actually stop - all else is pointless justification, so the best response is to avoid giving them the reaction they crave.

I am not opening myself up to further intrusion from monitoring spirits and their gang. good for them if they go home to socialize, I don't. This is the most private space of someone's life. 💯

Imagine fearing intrusion in your own home because a gang of agenda-laden bullies is sadistic enough to punish boundaries like the personality police?

I mean, at least I'm not an unethical person who is unfair to others and delays them and forces their way into their lives when clearly they don't have the energy in that private segment of their life, I mind my own business and if that's their gripe with me, they can go talk through it with a therapist.

My home space is extremely private and sacred and I make no apologies for making it crystal clear that I will not be bothered. Unless someone needs 911 assistance, it is not okay to bother my focus, my work time, and my relaxation time in *my* home and I will not suffer because a group of boundary-hating bullies want to rule other people's personal peace and personal space.

Many people are home to replenish their energy, not to entertain people and it's the same principle for the gym. Home = time to disconnect and recharge our minds as if we do not already do enough and owe anyone our basic survival requirements and as if we should not be able to protect our peace, this is not a frat house: RESPECT DISINTEREST/ LACK OF TIME/QUIET TIME: trying to delay and forcing yourself into people's busy life and days will not get you anywhere. We don't "owe" anything beyond a polite nod (and smile if it's not a creep), but we also respect our own time and expect our space when clearly rushing. I am not at home to exert energy and time, I am there to recharge. Learn to respect differences because this mob does not run me.

It's not whatever insults or insulting situation that is presented to you that's going to determine your vibe, it is what you tell yourself about the situation after. It's possible to handle something without actually giving it a reaction in the moment - because that's what most of them want. and it's possible to forgive and peacefully leave them where they are without having further dealings with them because further dealings are not required to prove forgiveness. There are people that are simply incompatible with your values in life and that's completely OK. If you value dignity, humanity, and free well, then you're not going to be around bulldozers and coercive people.

Please just find other people that have the same needs and leave the private ones alone because as paying customers of a space where we are paying to be: we have every right to want to be left alone. Read the room! Common courtesy, and grace is fine, but I'm not here for further connections and I will not be forced into any unwanted social connection (I owe nothing beyond a smile if it's not a creep, nod, and mutual regard for safety and noise) ever. Nope.

People work multiple jobs, whether for themselves or to support their families, and you have no idea what is going on in their lives. Thinking you should have access to their personal sanctuary, be able to knock on their door uninvited, or make them late for work, even by a few minutes, is absolutely ridiculous. Read the room and grow up. People don't owe you a personal connection without their consent.

Home is not social time for me and my neurodivergent brain, it is mental recharge time and I am not available to be used for their purposes outside of two jobs and a disability. This has to be accepted as these people are not even part of my household so the entitlement is delusional. Selfish is refusing to care about the feelings and the consent of the person from whom you are looking to take the thing that you're looking to take (resources, energy, time, attention, imposing or forcing connections or bonds, demanding favours, demanding personal information, or anything else). 

Inconsideration and ignoring cues isn't something to engage with and at that point, all politeness is voided - peaceful neutrality is sufficient here.

We don't have to tolerate those who disregard or deny our right to boundaries and choices aka our humanity/dignity to choose our circle.

I would not waste my time explaining myself to boundary-punishers, line-pushers, and a whole group of recruited hateful retaliators (it won't make sense to them as they view people as means to an end aka their agent or the role they want to assign to you for their benefit at your expense).

You owe no consideration to boundary-haters - you owe neutrality as they are essentially showing you that your basic human rights are an inconvenience to their agenda for you, precisely why would you want that in your life? No one needs "friends" to that degree of desperation.

HOME = PRIVATE SANCTUARY = MENTAL RECHARGE WITHOUT OBNOXIOUS NONSENSICAL FORCED SOCIALIZING:

Home is a private sanctuary for neurodivergent people to switch off their brain, we were given this wiring for a reason and it's not a gang of monitoring spirits who is going to disrupt our quiet property enjoyment (the service and space for which we pay). No one is "on" or in networking mode 24/7 and no amount of forced run-in's will change that. I do not reward bulldozing with my attention. Perhaps they can find others with similar needs as them? It otherwise is indicative of an agenda. My social circle is comprised of those of my CHOOSING, get over it.

Haters are simply doing what they do best: trying to make you feel bad about being yourself because they can't benefit from you when you're authentic. Their lack of respect for neurodiverse minds is not your problem. It's also not your problem that they assume everyone is just idle at home, waiting to be interrupted. Their choice to bother people who don't bother them is their issue, not yours.  

Some can read social cues, they just persist to wear you down (like bullies).

Mutual wellness and mutual desire for others to win: those people do not get in the way of people's day to day life and make it more difficult with pointless intrusion/delays which isn't natural and contrived/orchestrated.

No happy person goes around ganging up on a target:

We are not the human punching bag of boundary-haters resorting to mischief due to lacking acceptance for basic personal zones of privacy, being busy, and the right to refuse unwanted social connections. Their unresolved issues are their own to manage.

Why would anyone want to deal with bulldozers and their friends who try to mob people out of their rent-controlled apartments aka private and sacred sanctuary? 

­Those mad at you having healthy limits and keeping order in your life, especially with a health condition, are essentially saying "how dare you have basic human rights to dignity, privacy, and choices" and "how dare I not come before your oxygen mask of health requirements."

People go home to unwind, not to join a "clique" led by someone who dislikes personal boundaries.

Personal freedom is the hallmark of healthy relationships.

Don't let some random person run up in your life and try to exert some sort of overlord-type coercive control as if they own you, that's rather twisted and less than sane.

Some take niceness as an invitation to not leave people alone and use them for their resources or whatever else, if they’re already pushy now and finding ways to over-ride free will: it’s a sign of worse to come, they’re just mad that they can’t use me like they likely do to others. I do not owe anything beyond a nod/smile and I do not allow anyone to coerce unwanted personal connections. My life is outside my immediate vicinity and I choose how I contribute to the world accordingly to my disability and limits, which is beyond enough. I do not owe anyone personal information about me, but I absolutely look after noise, space, and I look after mutual safety. I am not here for favours, having anyone believe that they're entitled to my personal private sanctuary space as if people have no jobs or things to do, being delayed when going about my day, or forced social clubs though.

People who soothe your nervous system > all else.

Be *very* careful who you allow into *your* life.

Stay vigilant and test the spirit: your circle = your choice.

This is being kind to your own boundaries first and not allowing depletion, this is self-preservation. Home time is not for making friends IMHO.

Our social circle/community is a dignified choice we make for ourselves, it is not to be coerced. We give back in a manner that respects our disability and health requirements for peace and quiet (what we pay for as paying clients). I did not sign up for impositions.

I spend my rare "free" time with people of my choosing and proximity does not dictate or limit what community I deal with, it's a choice. Privacy is a right, intrusion is not. Seeing this level of nosiness from people I do not even know at stranger stage is an early red flag. This is an apartment rental, not a friendship agreement. Not everyone has unlimited energy and everyone has a different brain structure, when I am home, my brain is shut-off between multiple jobs and having a life elsewhere. 

Keep your filter high and know that proximity/convenience doesn't warrant automatic intimacy. It's a choice, no choice-violators allowed.

👏

I'm a busy and private person who values my home as a *quiet* sanctuary (unless someone needs 911 assistance) where socializing isn't of interest to me (basic cordiality is the extent of what my mental energy allows, but I don't report to ring leaders and I do not owe them explanations as my lease is with the rental company, not the self-appointed village bully). This should be understood and accepted. If others had no ulterior motives, they would simply move on to people with similar needs. I owe no one my peace and privacy, especially those outside my immediate household, considering my multiple jobs and a demanding disability that cannot easily recover from interruptions. I also respect shared space and mutual safety, so I don't believe anything more is required or owed. I will not be pressured into unwanted, intrusive connections that invade my privacy and closely monitor my daily activities.

Clearly, entitled people do not respond well to boundaries and are not psychologically safe for me.

Is it really that complicated to focus on the ones who want social time, and respectfully leave rest alone as if they had any authority and ownership over my personal private sanctuary? Like what is so difficult about this? I have the right to protect and defend my space. 🛡️

Kindness is the ability to read the room, respect social cues, and value the time and focus of others. Many often mistake friendliness for intrusiveness. It's possible to be personable without invading others' lives, which includes respecting their privacy. People are generally at home to relax - not to network, especially those with jobs and the inability to refocus once their concentration is broken.

Not that dealings are even necessary in the first place when there is an on-site office and building team, so there is even less justification for a retaliatory campaign. ☠️

Imposing nonexistent time on a stranger is a minor form of manipulation. Imagine if I had let these people into my life—they likely would have pushed boundaries further, leading to even more problems. It’s just not worth the trouble.

Never let people in your life who try to antagonize you for having different boundaries than them. They do not deserve your time, your energy and your grace. They just deserve peaceful neutrality.

"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."

- George Bernard Shaw

Some want a confrontation and bother people for the sake of it. People who are monitoring spirits do not react well to boundaries so it is pointless...

Dear ring leader, spiky hair rock thrower, and newest young crony added to their gang: 

You do not run this place or my life. Are people snobs, rude, acting better than... Or are they unable to recover after interruptions because of a severe (invisible) disability or just in a hurry, how is someone else's boundary and time management a reflection of another person? No. People need time "off-limits" and home is not social time for me and that cannot happen due to how my brain requires unbothered quiet rest, at all beyond basic grace. 

They appear to have deeply rooted issues and are seeking substitutes for more intimate relationships, but I am not that person. I don't need to diminish myself to please them.

It's about logistics and the rightful human dignified choice to *choose* how close we allow others to get, who is in my life is my decision and that of my busy logistics, I do not want added stress and pressure coming from people I do not know and are not even from my household.

***

I don't have time for every connection whether or not they're good people. I have enough on my plate that I don't need these entitled demands. If others want to make it about themselves, that's their problem. We're not responsible for the roles strangers try to assign to us; we have to manage our own lives and households first.

***

I won't reduce my work hours or commitments just to accommodate a group of people who can't respect social cues and the impact of delaying others. These people aren't paying my bills or ensuring I meet my commitments and deadlines on time, so why should I prioritize their illogical and *unfounded* demands? I won't waste time on inconsiderate gossipy individuals who expect my life to revolve around them simply because they live nearby and retaliate when people do not delay their busy days for their inconsiderate sorry arses who ignore social cues. I look after mutual safety, and I'm not the one causing disturbances or interfering with others' property enjoyment (I do not owe anything further than a polite nod and cordial greeting if need be, but these people are not going to intrude on my daily life and act like I owe them an unwanted social connection of *any* sort and if the ring leader was able to coerce other young women before, you will get nowhere with someone who uses their brain - like me).

Trying to destroy boundaries without remorse is what is truly evil.

How could their intentions have been so pure and innocent if their smear campaign and underhanded retaliation began since June 2023? How is it possible to have good intentions from someone if you disrespect their *choice* and basic human autonomy and dignity to choose who they allow into the private sphere of their lives? I don't owe them access to my privacy and personal life without my consent. 

I am not here to entertain anyone, and I have the right to choose who I allow into my personal life. A simple smile, nod, and polite greeting are sufficient if that's my choice. As a free human being, I have the autonomy to decide my social interactions. I didn't sign away that right in any lease agreement. Respecting that some people have a limited social battery and understanding they can't invade my space is key. I don't need to be around anyone who gives me bad vibes, nor do I have to tolerate those who disregard others' time.  Allowing this into my life would mean that I'm acquiescing to small transgressions and those only increase with time if you allow it.

People who go out of their way to intrude upon and disrespect your boundaries are not seeking to offer kindness or inclusion. Instead, they aim to take something from you, and their reactions to your differences and boundaries reveal this intention. Genuine kindness respects boundaries because it is a gift, whereas those with ulterior motives persist in fulfilling their own agendas and desires. I can easily spot such agendas from afar, as my intuition is extremely strong.

I won't make myself less busy or change who I am to accommodate people who don't respect different boundaries. If they have a problem with that, it's because they're choosing to create one. They're making boundaries an issue to force their way into the lives of those who aren't interested.

People are not here to fulfill your happiness, enjoyment, or needs. Each person is an independent being with free will, capable of making their own choices in life.

I signed my lease with the rental company, not with the clown show who has to band together against one person for not entertaining unwanted social relationships, needless delays that disrespect my punctuality going to and from places, or sharing personal information about myself, I owe respect for mutual safety and it doesn't need to go further than smile/nod: I signed up for privacy/space. My life is outside my immediate neighbourhood. The more mischief they commit, the more they're setting themselves up to fall into the pit they're digging for me. 

Grown adults don't mind that other people do not go home to socialize and they have their lives outside of their immediate vicinity and they're there to relax and they want privacy. Grown adults get their knickers in a twist over that. They get over it and move on. Some do not want social connections and are okay with a smile and nod and will not bend their boundaries for whatever "role" these monitoring spirits want to assign to them.

Why do they expect an automatic social circle or unfounded ties of people to dump favour requests onto?

No one is their little pawn! Not acceptable to force unwanted connections based on proximity. My social life is not in my immediate vicinity.

You go home to relax, and if your life is outside of your immediate vicinity, that should just be respected. You pay for privacy. You're not obligated to go beyond a pleasant smile and a quick nod maybe a polite greeting if you're not in a hurry. Nothing further is owed. You don't owe anyone your personal information or an unwanted social relationship. Personable, not personal!

These people have no boundaries whatsoever, I do not want to have them latch onto me as I do not exist for their personal wants and desires!

You can be yourself as long as you're not infringing on the rights of others and being a creep. That's what some of these people need to understand.

There really no reason to force their way into my schedule or life to that degree unless they have an agenda. I don't want anything beyond a smile and a nod and then looking out for a mutual safety obviously, because this is my private sanctuary time and I have multiple jobs so why are they going out of their way to try to force their way into my life or busy day to day like buffoons who do not respect people with different boundaries?!?

Oneness means do no harm, it doesn't mean be unboundaried and lacking a spam filter and failing to test the spirit. We *choose* our social or community circles, it is a free choice. 

Individuals without ulterior motives wouldn't persist with those who prefer a simple smile or nod in passing. It's evident that the latter group isn't thinking rationally.

I think the most important lesson is to never dignify a fool with your energy, attention, or validation because they're undeserving of it with their troll-like actions and if you pay them any attention, they have won. Now, handling it and protecting yourself though is different.

When you react to someone, you're showing them that they're getting to you, which is exactly what you should avoid so as not to play into their hands. These individuals are skilled in mischief and bullying, so don't let them provoke you; that's a significant victory for them. If you reveal that their behavior bothers you and ask them to stop, they'll likely just find another way to target you or someone else. It's best to ignore and avoid such people. Consider your safety in confrontations—not because you're afraid or lack assertiveness, but because some people have a tendency towards aggression, and your safety is paramount. People who go out of their way to provoke you are best handled with nonverbal signals indicating you're not interested. Ultimately, your priority is to protect yourself. Some people are impossible to reason with because they deny and deflect, so it's not worth the effort. The best approach is to ensure they leave you alone.

No to unwanted connections:

People who go out of their way to monitor the schedules of strangers and insert themselves into their lives tend to have clingy tendencies and poor boundaries. I advise staying away from such people because they often try to take ownership of others and ambush them, regardless of whether that person is busy and just trying to get through their day. They want to feel more important than the tasks of a stranger and your daily schedule because they believe the world revolves around them. These individuals dislike those who prefer to keep interactions to a cordial smile and nod because they often have an agenda. If they didn’t have an agenda, they wouldn't be bothering you or recruiting others to do so on their behalf. Trust your instincts and protect yourself from lurkers who try to force unwanted social connections and drain your energy for their personal gain, I do not reward monitoring spirit behaviour.

Explaining common sense to people who try to force run-in's and feel entitled to imposing themselves on others to the point of orchestrated monitoring is clearly not the answer.

Silence is the best response to a fool. ✅

Orchestrated distractions (noise, intrusion, etc) to cause a breakdown within me that did not and will not happen:

The only reason anyone would try to intimidate you with excessive fear—be it through online hacking, in-person monitoring, or other means—is to break you down and make you abandon your business or work by draining your mental resources (whatever your goals are) via hard-to-prove tactics so that you join their low-vibrational misery. But guess what? It didn't work.

Remorseless disruption of the peace of others is a sign of a group of people that is miserable, self-loathing, and has no goals in life. They want to bring others down to their level rather than work on themselves (this is why low-vibrational demons aren't worth a reaction in-real-time).

Cornering individuals and behaving predatorily because they live alone and you consider them an easy target is not community, slamming doors and showing hostility is not normal over people not wanting to be cornered or monitored to force run-in's and certainly not at night.

Common sense and legal knowledge-wise:

We do not verbally or otherwise engage with people who do weird things and monitor us so closely that it makes us fear for our safety at times (this level of fixation on a stranger is absolutely jarring). The boundary set here is walking away and showing non-verbal disinterest for over a year! Engaging with those who throw tantrums makes no sense. This isn't fight - flight - freeze, this is logic: never risk your safety to engage with hostile bullies who react poorly to boundaries or when your instincts tell you to steer clear. Non-verbal boundaries can send a message too, their choice to ignore that is the issue - not the existence of a line. 

Most people just go about their lives gracefully and they just nod, but these people need to find ways to make themselves an issue in the lives of others. Engaging with them isn't required to establish that this is a form monitoring, intrusion, and sadistic behaviour.

"Checking" someone on a request that doesn't make sense is one thing, but engaging with odd behaviour is not required to establish that it is indeed - monitoring and since they know what they're doing, you engaging would be a "win" for them. we never know who has a propensity to get aggressive when angry, and already if they are becoming irate when they are not getting what they want from you, why would you engage at all because that's the worst worst thing you can do when someone is behaving like a Monitoring Spirit. You don't have to tell them what they are doing is unwanted, they already know. This is not about learning to be assertive or standing up for yourself, we already know how to do that, this is about strategy and intelligence in circumstances that are not ideal.

Those who resort to monitoring people should not be engaged with for your safety as the risk is not worth it. It's important to use strategy, while protecting yourself. We know this by their reaction to your refusal in the first place and we use strategy, not "conventional" wisdom, this has nothing to do with inability to be assertive, this has to do with dealing with people who are clearly steamrolling boundaries they ought to have known existed.

It doesn't have to be a life or death situation for you to choose to handle things in a manner that is most safe for you because you don't know if the other person has aggressive tendencies (resorting to monitoring-spirit behaviour is already showing that you’re not dealing with logical beings) so it's just smarter to do things in a more gracious manner, also taking protective measures, which can send as strong a signal than wasting time engaging verbally with people who will probably use anything that you say against you and deny what you're saying and gaslight you, which is why it's pointless to engage with people like this. They know what they’re doing. if their goal is to force you to engage with them by creating problems, why would you give them the satisfaction of seeing you react?

Engaging with people who resort to mischief would be playing into their hands and giving them the reaction they seek. Not dignifying foolishness with any attention is how you maintain your personal power. ⛔️  

I think the most important lesson is to never dignify a fool with your energy, attention, or validation because they're undeserving of it with their troll-like actions and if you pay them any attention, they have won. Now, handling it and protecting yourself though is different than giving it attention so that's a whole other game that I will share in the future.

Preying on a target makes more sense when there was an existing connection behind this, but these are not people I even know! Make it make sense.

Playground bullies with no ambition except seeking to control targets and be central in their life and distract them, and their minions join in because they probably don't want to be victimized. I am cordial, but I am a private and busy person, these people bags need to grow up. 

Cluster B personalities seek to control their targets and use cronies to do so, all as a method to attempt to exert power and gain validation for their insecure and fragile egos incapable of respecting healthy boundaries and refusal for unwanted connections (as proximity doesn't over-ride INSTINCTS, common sense, nor does it mean automatic trust).

The brain level of a toddler: incapable of accepting that the lives of strangers don't revolve around them and attempting to disrupt my right to quiet property enjoyment as I am paying for privacy? I am not here to cater to egos.

Everyone deserves to feel physically safe.

People should mind their own business and respect personal space, as it is a matter of dignity. Acting entitled to insert oneself into others' lives just because of proximity, without respecting mutual safety, is entirely wrong. It is a choice whom we allow into our inner circle, and trust should be given sparingly (love all, trust few, and do not try to use people for your entertainment as everyone has their own life and it's not constrained to physical proximity). This may sound repetitive, but a smile and nod is ENOUGH for grown-up people who are not spending their days looking for trouble, causing trouble, and obsessing over the comings and goings of others instead of focusing on their own lives! ☠️

Distractions (especially orchestrated ones as retaliation campaigns) are designed to mentally overstimulate you and hijack your focus away from your life's purpose, goals, and priorities. Why play into their hands?

I'm still here, still providing for myself, and I will never stop. Those who engage in such behavior will eventually retreat to their own miserable lives and find something else to occupy themselves with. Maybe they'll even consider self-awareness, because truly happy people don't go around trying to destroy others. Don't give me anything to speak up about and you would not need to silence me!

Nosey haters:

Nosiness is not the same as caring. It's often an attempt to make you uncomfortable and wish for your failure. Genuine people respect boundaries and don't bother those who don't bother them. They mind their own business like responsible adults.

There are aspects of your life on which you owe no explanations to begin with: contrary to narrative-twisting, it's not always "how" you set a line, those who enjoy controlling others (good souls who are genuine are excepted in this context) will hate the existence of a line.

Should you "confront" monitoring spirits directly? 

No.

This is not a safe option. Non-verbal indicators of disinterest should be enough and safer as some of these creeps can become aggressive. This is especially true if they enlist their little buddies.

NO response IS a response to losers trying to rattle you!

Over-riding boundaries is disrespect to cues, that is control not care. Forcing run-in’s is also a form of monitoring, such people are invading basic privacy and personal space and are not owed anything except graceful neutrality, I would not want further dealings at all. 👏

***Monitoring spirits aim to dominate and control every aspect of your life. They have their own agenda, and you've been assigned a role to fulfill their desires.***

When you realize someone is monitoring you, the best course of action is to disappear from their radar. This often means distancing yourself from certain aspects of your life. Many people feel a strong sense of indignation, thinking, "Who does this person think they are? They’re not going to do this to me! I won’t let them." However, you don't need to confront these individuals.

Confronting bullies will only lead them to deny their actions, and if they have made you fear for your safety, approaching them is highly unsafe. It's not advisable to confront a monitoring presence, as any experienced person would agree. As long as you have consistently shown disinterest in dealing with them through nonverbal cues, you’ve done enough. They should be aware of their actions. Stay strong and unwavering in your perception of the situation. Never give them the reaction they seek.

They cannot be reasoned with because reasonable people do not engage in this activity. If they do, it's because they believe the benefits outweigh the risks, or their logic is sound but their conscience is flawed. Regardless, let them act like children. It’s all they’ve ever known, and nothing you say will change that.

What I have noticed about the monitoring spirits is that they appear to be people who have a lot of time on their hands and who are throwing their life away and they tend to target the people who are on-purpose and driven. Is it not interesting how much misery loves company?

Avoid being polite or friendly if you encounter this monitoring spirit person or their associates in public or elsewhere (be cordial and neutral). Treat their approach as the unwelcome intrusion it is and make sure others around you are aware of it. Don’t concern yourself with their feelings; they haven’t considered yours and basic privacy rights and boundaries (they're retaliating because they did not get what they wanted from you). If they have previously made you fear for your safety, direct confrontation isn't necessary. Instead, non-verbally showing disinterest is a smarter approach. 👏

Mad at you having basic human rights:

Back to the basics, we have freedom of choice. They prey on people who seem weaker or without support (this is false, just because I don't have people over here due to it being an undesirable high-crime area doesn't mean I am doing life fully alone) and try to make them live in fear by stupid tactics that are underhanded and they operate in mobs and gangs as they're weak without a higher number of clowns willing to join their clown acts.

Boundary-punishers punish your human rights to ensnare you and control you:

If they can control others and cause others emotional upheaval, it distracts them from their own life of chaos.

People who live in chaos often try to drag others into it, hoping to ensnare them. I refuse to be their prey. I will not let these predatory individuals victimize me, nor will I become a slave to their desires. They had an agenda from the start and retaliated because I saw through their facade of fake niceness, which masked their true intentions. Their underhandedly borderline aggressive behaviour is designed to make you walk on eggshells and become the perfect victim. If you stand up for yourself or refuse their demands, they react poorly to keep you in line. But I won't be controlled by people I don't even know.

Home is a private sanctuary; you should not "expect" access to someone else's personal space, especially if you're not part of their household. People need time to mentally recharge. Busy individuals often juggle multiple jobs and already lack relaxation time. Respecting personal space and privacy is fundamental. This doesn't mean ignoring mutual safety—common sense dictates looking out for security issues.

Handling bully gangs:

You don't need to engage in a tit-for-tat battle, but you definitely shouldn't back down from a group of people who act like energy vampires, trying to drain you dry. Recognize their bad intentions, evident through their forceful, controlling, and manipulative behaviour, including smear campaigns and underhanded intimidation tactics. These people won't get anything from me. I will reclaim my right to live in peace and let karma take care of their tired mischievous l antics from which they should consider retiring.

They can't "generate" energy on their own so they need to excessively drain others?

Refusal is not rude, unkind, or uncaring. Refusal is a right, as is personal choice over who we allow into *our* lives. Managing your energy and time is being an adult. Most people already give back within their restraints. What is rude is imposition, ploys, and encroachment on dignified privacy zones when people have already refused closer connections other than a quick nod/smile/grace (mainly based on lack of time and now, based on bulldozing and negative reactions to the boundary of a stranger, I wonder why they wanted to me to let my guard down so quickly, it's not a mystery).

­Those mad at you having healthy limits and keeping order in your life, especially with a health condition, are essentially saying "how dare you have basic human rights to dignity, privacy, and choices" and "how dare I not come before your oxygen mask of health requirements."

You should *never* confront lurkers or "monitoring spirits" or anyone who views you as someone with no basic human rights directly (those without care for personal safety, potential escalation, and lacking life experience may suggest this - but your instincts should prevail because many of these people love getting others out of character and if they throw tantrums and slam doors at your refusal to stop your daily life schedule for their blatant inconsideration - they're not psychologically safe) as you *never* know if it's safe or not! Signal disinterest non-verbally and heighten your security systems. They wanted a reaction and got nothing. Trust your instincts and put your safety first. 🚨

I am a fair person, so you will never catch me kissing the behind of overgrown bullies and acquiescing to their pressure and ambushing tactics. Some people are best loved from a safe distance because proximity does not mean that they mean you well, you can see by their tactics that they probably didn't! These people will waste your time and potentially bleed your resources dry if you allow them into your life and it's not worth it.

Why would I play into their hands and engage because they are persisting and making themselves a victim to my boundaries precisely for me to drop my guard? You do not reward manipulative behaviour like that with engaging, that's crazy.

Them creating issues out of absolutely nothing means there is no real issue here other than the ones that they are creating so why exactly would I engage with that in the first place? It doesn't make any sense.

I don't have time for a back-and-forth with people who would resort to monitoring strangers in the first place. That would get me closer to whatever the intended for me and it's unlikely to be good. 

They aim to provoke anger, frustration, desperation, paranoia, or combativeness in others (discomfort of any sort). Why would you give someone as insignificant and miserable—someone who wastes gas, spreads hate, and neglects their own life just to upset you—the satisfaction of any response at all?

You do not reward manipulative behaviour like that with engaging in any back and forth as it is simplistic to think that a lack of self-awareness that led to retaliation against your chosen boundaries is going to be solved by you breaching your own comfort levels (giving in). ⛔️

Further exposure to those who have made you uncomfortable in your own home through retaliation tactics against rightful boundaries in 2024 is not the solution, the solution is for them to back off once and for all and mind their business.

If you have to defend a basic boundary so hard because someone wants to take it so personal as an insult against them when it has nothing to do with them, that's a major red flag.

Anyone who retaliates against your boundaries or tries to hound you so that you change your mind and does it repeatedly is bad news and is not someone that you want in your inner circle! 

It is safer to not deal with monitoring spirits directly, people resorting to that in the first place are seemingly highly illogical so I don't think there's any way to rationalize with people like that and it's a waste of energy and riskier than whatever retaliation campaign they may attempt to start (stupidity in numbers won't get them very far). Showing that you are not interested is definitely the safest because then at least you're not risking your own self by engaging with people that you have no business engaging with.

Deceptive individuals will attempt to corner you to hide their true intentions for getting close by trying to corner you, knowing that if they were honest, you would never permit whatever it is that they want from you.

We are not designed for everyone to resonate with us and that's the beauty of authenticity is that we can all coexist with our differences and simply mind our own business (most grown adults are capable of this).

They try to fulfill their agenda by being deceptive about their intentions because they know you wouldn't entertain them if they were honest. Many people dislike authenticity and label it as transactional, but genuinely good people are upfront about who they are and what they want. They won't waste your time, unlike these negative forces who love to drain your precious time. They likely don't value their own lives and resent seeing others be focused with things to do, so they use roundabout ways to invade your privacy. However, their efforts will fail, leaving them to resort to petty actions like monitoring your laundry schedule. The more they persist, the more they dig themselves into a hole.

You should feel safe in your sanctuary no matter who you do or do not live with and what a gang of middle aged bullies (who are now recruiting teeny boppers apparently because the night shift is too hard on them) thinks of your disability-based requirement for mental recharge time and you being clearly in a hurry during your comings/goings if you bother no one.

I don't need to be around anybody who needs the basics spelled out to them because I don't have time for that and the fake help that seems to have unseen strings attached is also not for me. Those who supposedly mean well, but still cause chaos are still a threat to your peace. They don't need to be anywhere near your life. 

To "love all" implies refraining from harm, wishing well for others, minding your own business, and not bothering anyone.

"Trust few" means assessing people's motives, setting personal lines, and observing their reactions to determine if they respect you or aim to exploit you.

Creating problems out of nothing to force their way into someone else's life:

Creating massive drama because the world of a stranger doesn't revolve around them? Sounds like they definitely wanted something and they're mad that their schemes to lower my guard, break my defences, and force their way into my private personal life did not work.

The concept of fabricating issues is similar to those who play hero to issues they were part of creating out of nothing, they're all similar in nature: con-artists with no emotional maturity to accept differences. Some are so self-centered that they believe everything others do is directed at them, whether for, against, or about them. In reality, people have their own lives and concerns.

Those who want FOR you will not be found imposing or getting in the way or making your life more difficult: that's the characteristic trait of a hater trying to disguise themselves as something else as if they were upfront - you wouldn't let them in so they have to be strategic.

Respecting privacy and personal space boundaries is a healthy thing to do. Intruding on people and invading their lives or trying to monitor them is very much disrespecting their time and cues, which erodes their right to choice and of course, the basic consideration of going to and from places on time - common sense: just because they don't have anything to do, doesn't mean that we are bored and looking for people to bother (this is different than non-intrusive pleasantries).

Does "love all" mean you have to be friends with everyone or have time for everyone? No. That's logistically impossible. You can wish people well and still mind your own business.

Being too close to the wrong people can damage your well-being. 

- Unknown

Lurking/monitoring is undermining free will by nature and trying to con you into something:

Trying to manipulate, con, and sneak your way into someone's life especially on designated "private" and "off-limits" time is predatory by nature as it is sleazy, underhanded, crafty, and it's a way to "corner" someone out of their free choice and dominate their free will.

People who try to monitor you likely won't understand you regardless of what you say. They're just looking to provoke a reaction, so it's best not to give them any response.

Those who try too hard to get you to drop your guard and trust them instantly:

To "love all" implies refraining from harm, wishing well for others, minding your own business, and not bothering anyone. "Trust few" means assessing people's motives, setting personal lines, and observing their reactions to determine if they respect you or aim to exploit you.

This is a *realistic* worldview based on experience, rose-coloured glasses won't save you from exploiters and people of low morals who see proximity as an opportunity to get what they want from you (the monitoring spirits not getting anything from me).

A safe person will respect your personal/unavailable time, you will never find them trying to override your free will and make your life more difficult for their personal gain (only those with agendas are pushy).

***I don't appreciate people who intrude into others' personal, safe spaces without invitation. Likewise, I don't owe anything to those who try to force an unwanted social connection on me, as if I have no choice in the matter or am merely an extension of their desires (they can be offended at me exercising my autonomy all they want, but in reality, I should be offended at their disrespect of my refusal and personal choice over my own private life).

Privacy is a fundamental right, and there are laws protecting individuals from such intrusions. We are real people with human rights and boundaries, not extensions of someone else's wishes. Those who think they can control others should focus on managing their own lives and finding hobbies or interests, as people with fulfilling lives don't engage in this kind of behaviour.***

Predatory people who either try to infiltrate the lives of others, or who send friends to try to demand their personal information, are bypassing personal autonomy, but many fall victim as these monitoring spirits have years of experience in preying on the unsuspecting.

It's rude to assume you can impose yourself on strangers or make demands on others while ignoring social cues. 🛡️

If you're upset because someone exercises their free will to refuse, you should reflect on your own delusion of entitlement as asking anything of anyone garners a chance of them refusing. People have every right to be irked when someone tries to force themselves on them. Acting well-meaning or helpful doesn't disguise this manipulative tactic of deception.

I’m not going to make myself late, whether I’m heading to work or anywhere else. If I don’t have time to stop and chat, they need to accept that and move on. Just because it’s convenient timing for them doesn’t mean it’s convenient for me, and they need to understand that other people’s lives don’t revolve around them (no one is "more important" than my sleep schedule or going to and from where I am heading on time, imagine thinking you come before someone's ability to focus and provide for themselves)...

I’ve never seen people make such a big deal out of nothing. It’s like they’re looking for a problem.

Most people are content with a smile and a nod (and naturally looking out for mutual safety - which is common sense), and if that’s not enough, they’re probably the type who, if given an inch, will take a mile and gradually invade your life. I’m a very private person and don’t like people prying into my business. I reserve the right to respect my instincts when it comes to a gang of mobbing monitoring spirits and the self-appointed personality police who thinks fellow paying clients owe them more than the baseline courtesies. 

I also do not share personal contact information with insistent building staff, I didn't think paying money to live here warranted that when emergency phone lines exist.

Believing that you're entitled to invade others' private spaces is quite peculiar to me. Just because some people are constantly in each other's space and apartments doesn't mean everyone wants the same thing. It's essential to respect differences and avoid causing unnecessary problems for those who mind their own business. It seems like they must have a lot of time to waste.

Choosing to be bothered because people don't want to be rudely delayed when they're trying to get somewhere on time, having only allocated enough time for their journey there and back, really requires a lot of creativity.

I don't spend my time on those who don't respect it.

I don't care if others perceive young women living alone as an easy target, I have work and businesses to build, in addition to a disability and these people aren't going to distract me.

People don't answer to them:

Disrespecting social cues is rude and I am not "narrating" my every move or being stopped in my tracks to be made late or delayed for inconsiderate people like that who seem to think that getting in the way and imposing themselves so arrogantly is something normal and that we should worship them for the opportunity to be delayed on a day to day basis.

***People are here to rent a unit and live their life, forced companions/connections with people just based on proximity are not part of the rental agreement contract, and I absolutely did not sign up for unwanted forced connections. Courtesy, grace, looking after mutual safety, yes, but not forced unwanted social relationships, favours, insight on my private life - no, not in my home space.***

Trusting our instincts especially in a higher crime area and owning our personal safety above all else:

There is no benefit in doubt, test the spirit because you don't want to be someone's casualty just because you still decided to give them the benefit of the doubt despite red flags/after red flags, this is about seeing reality for what it is: trusting your instincts.

If they think they're teaching me a lesson, the law will teach them a bigger one:   

I am not obligated to sacrifice my right to privacy simply because some people nearby believe they are entitled to others' space. Privacy is a dignified human right, in case they were unaware.

Home is where people go to relax and recharge for work, business, and school: I am cordial, but I am not there to make friends. If anyone has an issue with this, it's not my concern. Learn to recognize social cues indicating that some people prefer to be left alone while going about their daily lives and tasks. Understand that individuals are not obligated to entertain you, and if you find yourself overly focused on those who keep to themselves, it might be helpful to find a hobby.

I have the right to refuse unwanted connections, and I should be the one upset because someone is infringing on my autonomy to decide who I let into my life and the right to trust my instincts (the most basic tenet of human autonomy). They are the ones being rude and inconsiderate about the mental space and energy limits of others, who need every bit of peace they can get.

Self-righteous individuals who believe others are wrong simply because they function differently and don't conform to giving into what they wanted from them (at whatever cost, because who cares how many jobs people are working or how much they're studying - you just feel entitled to their time, resources, and energy because of proximity but we did not choose who we live near so how does that make any sense) need to reconsider their faulty and outdated perspective. They must also educate themselves on the legal implications of imposing unwanted relationships on others. In 2024, there are ***laws*** against that, wake up you gang of gossipy schoolyard bullies, people don't owe you unwanted social relationships, but you OWE non-interference with quiet and private property enjoyment. 

My personal protection and personal safety are more important than the feelings of monitoring spirits. Let's be real here. Fighting against my boundaries is not something I'm going to entertain. I don't care how curious some are, you respect disinterest and you move on.

Imagine needing to know the details of someone's health condition in order to respect their space?

Only a select few go out of their way to impose themselves on the lives of others, the rest actually mind their business - so obviously the "mob" gang who desperately needs a life had an agenda. 

I regret to inform these self-righteous mobsters that I am not concerned about their preference for a village vibe. I do not tolerate forced intimacy as I get to spend my time with people of my own choosing, I am not dealing with entitled and controlling individuals who are schoolyard bullies in adult bodies (love all means obey the law, something they need help with). I refuse to be manipulated. I have a right to privacy, and their desires are not my responsibility. Sharing intimate details of my life is a choice, not an obligation.

Over-riding choice on who we allow into our private sphere is not acceptable.

I'm not going to play into the hands of the delusion that proximity means automatically having way too close for comfort unwanted relationships with people who happen to live nearby, which does not automatically mean trust and if it did, why wouldn't they back off more easily?

If you do not have what they need, they can go find elsewhere, it's just not a match. But you're not here for their purposes, you're a paying client for private and personal space: this is not a frat house or rooming house.  

Anyone who actually respects you as a person with the right to choose who you allow in your life and the right to trust your instincts would not want you to spend time you do not have or make you late going through your daily life (convenient timing for them may not be convenient for you: mutual consent applies to any level of social connection and forcing it doesn't work in 2024 - do not get in people's way).

Instead of ignoring social cues and demanding time from people who are clearly busy, seek out those who have time to spare. It's not complicated—respect timing and disinterest. I'm unapologetic about avoiding people who act as monitoring spirits, as that behaviour would likely irritate/scare most people.

That said...

A group of entitled, gossipy, and intrusive monitoring spirits attempting to invade my space won't drive me out of my rent-controlled apartment, they can go find a different outlet for their self-hate.

I'm not paying rent to entertain others, and I won't tolerate interruptions to my work or relaxation time, especially from people who aren't my children. These individuals seem to think that bullying me underhandedly or having their friends monitor me will somehow benefit them.

A group of strangers believes they can control your life and thinks that gossiping about you benefits them. In reality, it only reinforces why you avoided them in the first place. They are upset because they couldn't exploit your time and resources for their convenience.

A boundary will always be an instigation to someone who hates the concept of the autonomy of others and their free choice. We don't have to make ourselves uncomfortable and deal with people who set off our instincts or that we just prefer not to just to make them feel better about a boundary that is within our rights.

Just because someone's around you doesn't mean they have to be a part of your life.

Many people have lives beyond their immediate vicinity. It's very important to respect privacy and to respect differences the first time. 

Trust your instincts.

Disrespecting boundaries is one of the factors that can make a person seem corrupt or a "bad" person if we want to go there, as trespassing the designated privacy zones of others and sending cronies to do their manipulative and retaliatory dirty worm shows a lack of empathy. Setting aside time for mental relaxation is essential for self-preservation, especially when you have a severe disability and work two jobs: we have the right to say no to interruptions and intrusion on our home space and as we go about our chores, especially we give back in other ways already. we will not allow these parasites to make us feel bad about how we live our lives when they probably couldn't handle half of what is on our plates from one day to the next. They would probably crumble just from one job. I have multiple and my own fundraiser.  I’m not trying to act superior, but if someone belittles me for being different and having a unique brain structure that necessitates avoiding distractions to meet my commitments on time, I have every right to speak up. Being different is a test of character, and if they react negatively to a stranger's boundaries, I’ve effectively dodged a bullet by not getting involved with them. I’m very proud of my discernment and instincts, which have always proven to be right.

A boundary is not a negotiation, a boundary should simply be respected because someone wanting something from you that you do not have the time, energy, obligation, or ability to provide or offer isn't a "you" problem. Accepting it is their inner work/responsibility. 👏

This is about a group of miserable, lifeless, and highly bored monitoring spirits... 🚨

It's important to distance oneself from people who feel entitled to others' time, energy, and resources simply due to proximity and who lack respect for time and basic schedule obligations. Such individuals often overlook the responsibilities and hidden burdens that others carry (and they do not care as long as they can take from you).

Your job is not to appease these bullies, they should not be bothering your peace in the first place:

I am going to get my right to privacy restored, I will not be moving prematurely because of these miserable clowns who thought I was an easy target.  

If they don't like your boundaries,  they can stay away. If they choose to come around or send others to monitor you, it's likely because they have bad intentions or an agenda of sorts.

Your personal space and time belong to you, and no one has the right to make demands on them. As a tenant, you pay for privacy and choose who you allow into your life. You owe nothing beyond common courtesy. Trying to bully your way into someone's life is absolutely disgusting. Monitoring them to orchestrate accidental encounters because you won't accept that there is no time is absolutely abhorrent.

Those who ignore your signals of being rushed, busy, or uninterested are inconsiderate, and their tantrums and fear tactics won't succeed. Similarly, fake helpers who try to infiltrate your life and overstep boundaries will not succeed, especially when the relationship is professional, with you as a paying client in your private sanctuary of peace, not their puppet or and extension of their "personal" needs. Nope, my life does not revolve around these people just due to proximity, and I will not be leaving prematurely due to their underhanded scare tactics which are duly documented and noted. I look after noise, I mind my business, and I care for mutual safety: but I am a busy and private person and I will *not* be delayed daily or coerced into UNWANTED connections as proximity, especially in a high crime area, does not mean automatic trust and I absolutely trust my own instincts. Sketchy tactics to ambush and corner people will lead you nowhere with me. That tells me they had an agenda, but mission FAILED!

A safe person will never have an adverse reaction towards your personal safety measures because they will never make it about themselves.

Mature adults who can mind their own business would back off without causing a little riot lol, as id they had any ownership over other human beings and their personal circle! What a joke! 

I'm not concerned about the scene these overgrown children want to cause by recruiting their friends; I'm just protecting myself in a high-crime area with a door camera. They won't bulldoze my rightful boundaries to my sanctuary and the private space I pay for. I don't have roommates, don't want roommates, and am not obligated to have any connections with these people beyond a quick smile, nod, and polite greeting while passing by because I have multiple jobs to manage.

They can be all up in each other's space if they want, but that's a NO for me and I will defend my disability's requirement for peace and quiet over trying to appease these parasites who think they have ownership over how others operate their lives.

They won't make me work less hard or lose sleep when I have a severe disability, for which my tenancy is under accommodations precisely because of people like them. Intruders who are pushy, clingy, needy, and controlling need to be handled because they are difficult to set boundaries with, and if you give them an inch, they will take a mile. It's your choice who you allow into your personal space and circle. Your life is not a circus to be controlled by random people, and if they don't like how you operate, they can stay away. It's that simple. They don't own the place; my rent check does not go to them. I rent from the property management company, and there is a tenancy act in place protecting my privacy and quiet enjoyment from nuisances and monitoring spirits. They can protest my boundaries as a gang all they want; they only make themselves look like fools with no life.

It's normal to enforce boundaries from time to time. However, it becomes problematic when people aggressively try to infiltrate your life, causing unnecessary issues. Allowing such individuals into your life can lead to them demanding more than you have to offer. Why invite such drama from an optional connection? These people often seem intent on destroying others who don't bother anyone, which makes no sense to me. They clearly have an agenda and want something specific. They won't get anything from me, as they will learn that bullying and aggressive behaviour are unacceptable and could lead to various interesting outcomes for them.

People who disregard your time and personal space are detractors who will distract you if you allow them. Trying to bother and delay others' comings and goings indicates a lack of your own life, and it’s neither a genuine thing nor considerate. It’s simply disrespectful to those who are busy providing for themselves. Heavy handed pushy tactics are signs of underlying motives, likely disgusting ones and retaliation for your refusal of what you do not owe them in the first place confirms that you just dodged a bunch of bullets. Appeasing them would have opened a door you want to keep shut as you protected yourself and kept your guard up when your sharp instincts told you to do so, perfect.

People who want to make your life revolve around themselves or your boundaries mean something about themselves are probably bad news so it's always important to listen to your instincts.

Whether or not they stopped the nonsense doesn't change the fact that it happened in the first place and that they will receive their karma. 

Even if they truly stopped forever, stopping doesn't erase the fact that it happened. Nobody can escape the karmic consequences of their actions. If they had thought like the adults they are, they would have considered this before targeting someone simply because that person believes a smile and a nod are sufficient and that nothing further is a requirement just due to proximity. This person has multiple jobs, a disability, and limited time and energy, yet they still contribute to humanity in various ways. They don't have to be involved in their immediate surroundings socially if their life extends beyond it. It's 2024. Move on. They need to manage their deluded expectations if they think social or drinking clubs are automatic. ☠️ 

You don't psychologically torture people for a year at a time using the help of your little cronies and expect to get away with it because karmic forces are going to handle your sorry a**es.

If you don't want to be exposed for being a monitoring spirit, then don't be a monitoring spirit for over a year relentlessly as a gang all because home is a quiet and private sanctuary and some aren't interested in connecting beyond baseline courtesies (and a smile/nod is more than enough, I don't owe anyone my personal information or access to MY domicile and private sanctuary, get real). Karma doesn't miss.

One thing all of the lurkers have in common is that they have given up on their own lives so they may have wanted people to bring down with them, but that didn't work.

Not everyone is interested in making further connections when they are home to relax and to manage multiple jobs, which is more than enough.

It's very obvious when someone is trying to hunt you like prey that they wanted something from you and if you're smart enough to detect that, you're going to obviously not want further dealings with them. And if they're going to go out of their way to monitor your schedule despite you changing your schedule multiple times, that's very scary to me. It's quite uncomfortable and they just have to stay away from me.

If those living in proximity need the help of the police or an ambulance and looking out for mutual safety, I'm there otherwise I keep my interactions to a quick smile and nod because that's where my personal boundaries lie and has every right to pay for a space that is fully dedicated to relaxation, managing my mental health and my multiple jobs without unwanted intrusion.

Consideration is owed to the people that respect the time of others not those who seek to delay and get in their way. Monitoring schedule to force non-existent time already shows that they struggle to respect boundaries and the humanity/free will of others that they were unable to use as an extension of their heavy-handed agendas, and I would not want to add that drama or chaos into my already busy life. In addition, people are more than capable of setting boundaries in the moment, but we can sense when people who do not respect those in the first place and have parasitical tendencies so further involvement is not recommended in certain situations like this one.

Manipulators might guilt you for setting boundaries, calling you selfish or unkind, to exploit you. They use tactics like guilt-tripping or gaslighting to make you question your self-care. You aren't responsible for non-dependents, and if they think they come before your personal responsibilities and basic life obligations within your own household/work, they're very wrong to think they can force their way into the lives of others and bulldoze personal choice. They should respect your established limits and move on.

Designated zones of privacy are a fundamental human need, regardless of whether you are introverted or extroverted. However, some individuals have a tendency to coerce and impose on others, overriding their autonomy and choice. These people often believe they are entitled to your time and energy. It's crucial to avoid such individuals, as they disregard your free choice in matters concerning you. If you are fortunate enough to have strong intuition, you will likely be able to recognize these individuals early on and prevent them from entering your life. Ignoring initial signs of intrusion can lead to significant difficulties later.

Inserting yourself into people's lives when they have shown disinterest repeatedly and resorting to things like waiting for them at night for weeks at a time means that consideration is no longer owed at that point. ☠️

It's not the people don't have the skill to set a boundary in the moment, it's that some people clearly don't respond well to boundaries and entitled people are too much trouble to deal with in the first place. It's not worth it to deal with anyone who resorts to trying to break down your boundaries via sneaky tactics.

Home is a REFUGE for people with lives and actual jobs (those who don't have time to monitor, bulldoze, and resort to mischief like school children mad they didn't get their way):

Proximity is not intimacy and it does not warrant automatic trust either. it's not an automatic social club and it doesn't mean we have anything in common, many people go home after a long day to relax or they work from home and they work multiple jobs so they just don't have the spare time and the little spare time they have should be spent on people of their own choosing, not on bullies and bulldozers who want to break into their life by any means necessary, which is quite ridiculous and sounds a little bit odd to fixate on people and monitor their schedules and scare them in their own homes as a covert means of punishment for not having given the overgrown toddlers what they wanted..

Anyone who tries to claim that if you cared about XYZ, you would do XYZ, is ignoring the fact that there are numerous ways to give back and different definitions of caring for the world at large or community. You are not obligated to conform to their arbitrary standards, especially if they are rooted in negativity, bullying, and harmful behavior. These individuals, who attempt to undermine mental health and stability, wrongly believe they can force me out of my secure rent-controlled environment. They need to understand that they don't hold such power over me. I will not be manipulated into leaving my rent-controlled apartment prematurely. The key takeaway is to learn to control yourself, find a hobby, and perhaps get a job or two, so you aren't troubled by people who don't concern you.

It's best to avoid getting too involved with those who have agendas because once you give a little, they often take a lot more and the *exhaustion* of dealing with people who react poorly to boundaries is a major time-suck. It's already daunting to go through your day-to-day life with the structures. You already have, dealing with people who do not react well to boundaries is just not worth it at all. If you're too nice, people may start to take advantage of you or invade your life further. Therefore, I keep it at a smile and nod, without feeling obligated to do more. I respect mutual safety and peace, and I don't make unnecessary noise or disturbances unlike some people. My charitable efforts are directed towards humanity at large, and balancing multiple jobs with a disability is already challenging enough. By prioritizing my own household, I ensure my life stays manageable and avoid being overwhelmed by issues that aren't my responsibility, such as the preferences of those who invade my privacy. While it's their right to have different boundaries than me, it's ***not*** within their rights to impose a closer relationship on me. They need to respect others' right to enjoy their property quietly and stop being nuisances, especially after it's been made clear that I'm not interested.

What lacks empathy is trying to override the free will, choice, autonomy, and the dignity of a human being to decide who they want to let into their lives and whether or not they have the time in the first place. 👏

Most people respect busy signals and social cues, backing off and leaving it at that. They don't make an issue out of someone not wanting to be disturbed. Choosing not to be bothered in certain parts of your life is perfectly valid, especially when it comes to genuine relaxation and privacy rights as a customer of an establishment. You are not obligated to do anything beyond respecting shared space, safety, privacy, and offering a quick smile and nod, which will suffice for most. Those who are unsatisfied with that are the kind of people you want to avoid, as they do not respect the time, energy, or schedule constraints of others, believing their wants are more important than the rights/priorities of a stranger, which is completely unreasonable. They will latch onto anyone who allows them into their lives and it is not something I want to start.

We cannot outsource sleep, rest, nutrition, and fitness... Choosing to have multiple jobs is a sacrifice on its own on top of a time-consuming disability so I do not need that large of a circle.

Boundary-hating bulldozers who recruit cronies because they landed on someone they could not invade and take advantage of (maybe find yourself other female companions to day drink with and whose schedules to monitor in your seemingly boring life devoid of any purpose - stupid games win stupid prizes - don't give me anything to speak up about and I won't have to, I have tenancy rights to protect myself from nuisances bothering my private and quiet enjoyment):

People who believe they should come before you in your own life, despite not being a child or dependent, are often looking to take advantage of you. They don't care if your responsibilities are met, your bills are paid on time, or if you suffer from mental burnout. These individuals, who can be seen as codependent and parasitic, bring nothing but chaos and don't care if you're in a difficult situation. Trying to impress people like that is pointless. The right people will encourage you to manage your own wellness, as it is your responsibility as an adult, just as managing their own health is their responsibility. Each adult should carry their own load. Once our own needs are met, we can decide where to allocate any excess resources. This is what having boundaries is about. Anyone who makes you feel selfish for having boundaries or expects you to justify your responsibility to yourself/your need for self-care is the one with the problem, as they mistakenly believe they own your time and energy (you don't need that in your life).

Boundaries are neither mean nor malicious; they simply prevent unwarranted intrusion into your personal space. Protecting your household is a fundamental right. If someone expects you to feel responsible for them, despite not being your dependent, it reflects their own codependency issues, which they should address. You are not obligated to shoulder their burdens above your own responsibilities first, otherwise, who is making sure your health is handled? Only you can manage your health - protecting what belongs to you isn't taking it away from anyone else. Only the takers have issues with those with a sense of personal responsibility. If someone retaliates against you for maintaining boundaries by spreading false information or engaging in *criminal* mischief as a group, it is a clear deviation from normal behaviour.

They want to paint personal space as being cold and distant when in reality, it's a social grace to give space to people that you don't even know because that's actually humanity and basic dignity and autonomy over who is allowed in our private lives and making unwanted impositions is assuming familiarity which isn't warm - it's invasive like intensive persistence towards imposing intimacy on any level is a big no no (that's what forcing unwanted connections is about - over-riding consent and free will for any type of relationship), this is so basic.

My brain wiring is introverted, that's a different way of functioning, not fundamentally wrong or bad, except to energy vampires who suck up other people's time and resources for a living.

You should be able to be introverted and not under covert targeting in your sanctuary. No one needs to know anything at all about me to know I am able to look out for mutual safety, space, respect noise and that I am not a threat : I simply like to mind my business, so should they.

Apartment neighbors aren't roommates, I am a busy and private person and I don't need anyone monitoring my comings and goings. Treating them as such isn't a typical perspective on apartment living. Everyone has their own work lives, personal lives, and unique backgrounds. We're all individuals living our separate lives. I'm not here to manage others' problems unless we so choose.

I smile and nod if safe to do so (high crime area, with crime from within the building), but I need my own time, especially after two jobs and a disability.

We shouldn't have to question our instincts if someone makes us uncomfortable, and it's unacceptable for strangers to wait around for others at night as if they were housemates. It's also inappropriate for someone to follow me while I'm doing laundry to force their way into my life like bulldozers.

There are multiple ways to confront situations, always put your own protection at the forefront, no one with sense will recommend for you to engage directly with those who have demonstrated monitoring-and-schedule-following tendencies.🛡️ Non-verbal is more peaceful, safers, and onlookers will see who the fool truly is in the equation. ☠️ 

They wanted to cause problems to force me into engaging further with them, and I have absolutely not done such a thing as they latch onto people and become parasitic... I will not acquiesce to childish tactics ever in my life. I am not responsible for their desires and personal needs, and their desires are not my problem, perhaps they dealt with other dumb young women in the past who agreed to go day drinking with them, but I'm not that stupid and I'm not not naïve either. 👏👏👏

There is no way that people who monitor door latches, monitor elevator noise, and monitor people's nightly and daily routines to "prey" on them and catch them have good intentions for you and anybody who thinks that this is normal needs to reevaluate their agreement with reality. 

Those without agendas will back off at the very first sign of not showing any interest, those who pursue people persistently are bullies and bulldozers who have an agenda that they want to meet at your expense and they will do it at all costs. They do not care about your time, your schedule or free will, as long as they get what they wanted from you. They will even try to turn others against you and them in their smear campaign.

Personal space and privacy are actual rights, unwanted connections aren't.

I do not reward lurking and monitoring, ever. ⛔️

Graceful non-intrusive privacy-respecting courtesy > forcing unwanted intimacy and calling it warm and friendly when it's a way to get you to drop your guard, the subtle and early stages: disguised persistent pressure to connect. 

I do not need to appease them by convincing them my boundaries ***aren't*** about them as well-adjusted adults do not take the personal space of others as an insult, they stop bothering them. They can't go around demanding unwanted social connections like that. It's a a choice.

They will create problems to force you to engage with them. I won't reward that.

Most people respect it when people are UNavailable or rushing (not having time *period* has nothing to do with how good of a person they are especially if they give back outside their immediate vicinity as the world is big). It's logistics and people have PRIORITIES and LIVES i.e. those who are responsible towards their commitments (why would anyone apologize for having commitments and a schedule in life and obligations and providing for themselves, and the conditions to their mental health that make them meet the requirement to provide for themselves a.k.a. recharging in peace and quiet) - unlike those who have nothing better to do than to cause chaos because they can't accept rejection and think they're owed explanations as though strangers answer to them (I do not tolerate nuisances around the quiet and private sanctuary I pay for). They don't go out of their way to cause further delays / orchestrated distraction to make themselves central to a stranger's life (that's the definition of selfish, trying to demand from others without their permission things that do not belong to you i.e. *their* energy, time, and attention).

Again...

Choosing to work multiple jobs with a disability and a full medical crash day naturally restricts my time budget, why would I even want a big circle if I can barely honour a small one? Make it make sense!

Many people lead lives beyond their immediate surroundings, contributing to the world in various ways, such as working multiple jobs, participating in fundraisers, and creating online content. One-on-one work may not be logistically sustainable, so they maintain a small circle, deciding who to allow into their lives. This level of contribution is more than enough, especially compared to those who waste their time being idle all day and bothering others who mind their own business.

Some want privacy.

Some don't.

All preferences are VALID.

We choose. Some people simply need more space in their lives than others, and that's all there is to it. Some have more commitments than others, that's all there is to it. A boundary is a boundary, it's not mean, rude, stuck-up, or snobby: it's a personal space requirement and we get to choose to what degree we connect, when, and with whom. Free will.

Respect the wishes of others and obey the law (if people want to be left alone, leave them alone). 

Boundaries and a desire to be left alone in one's own home space (paying for peace and privacy) is not rude or mean, intruding on those boundaries lacks empathy for the rights of others as holding boundaries doesn't infringe on other people's rights and it isn't harming or wishing evil on others either.

Boundaries are not a sign of lacking empathy; they protect us.

Entitlement to others' time and energy, or imposing on people we don't know, lacks empathy and basic consideration.

You have the right to choose which parts of yourself to share, with whom, and when. You don't "owe" yourself to anyone; it's always a choice. Believing that someone owes their time and peace to others (especially people they do not know) reduces them to a means to an end. Humanity values free will and ownership over personal space and time, which is the essence of autonomy. Setting boundaries doesn't make you a bad person, despite what guilt-mongerers might say. There's nothing morally wrong with protecting your rights and space. You don't owe anyone any part of yourself, and no one can claim ownership over a free human being. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Most people just back off when they see someone is rushing or busy as they *do not* place themselves above the chosen priorities of strangers (respect cues), but those who don't do so - clearly have an agenda... it takes the sick level of obsession to recruit others against your little smear campaign against my boundaries of not wanting any forced and (all of a sudden out of nowhere) connection (my choice).

Even managing your own household with a disability, a craft, and a side-hustle on its own can be a challenge already, add a small circle and a fundraiser: I am more than doing my part for humanity so I will not have a stranger run up in my life and try to run over my home space boundaries for their petty bulldozer nonsense, demand a closer connection than is even necessary as all we owe is respect for mutual safety and a quick nod, all because they wanted to throw their weight around and exert power over those they perceived as weak and wanted to take something from: sit down. ☠️

If they didn't want anything from you but your wellness (mutual respect for space and privacy), they'd leave you alone.

You respect the "zone of privacy" that is people's comings and goings as they have lives, commitments, and obligations and seeking to intrude/delay/lurk/bother/bulldoze instead of accepting lack of time, interest, and availability is a nuisance.

I don't feel I should be ambushed to be guilt-tripped about why I keep to myself on home time for people who want to make my focus disability accommodation and privacy mean something about them. Busy/private/in a hurry: the end. No available time exists.

Keep it organic. Do not force others, do not ambush people. Seriously, it's not normal.

Those who have nothing going on or less going on should not play with those who do or get in the way. It's called live and let live and mind your business.

The purpose for being at a certain place is going to determine what you do and for some people, home is a sanctuary of peace so it's that simple.

Needing personal space on home time is nothing uncommon, I suppose it may be for people who are all up in each other's business - but we do *not* owe anyone intimacy on any level and it is our choice who we connect with. 💯

Don't get in people's way and delay them when you visibly see they're trying to get somewhere, you having nothing to do is not our problem, this is not a mandatory social club.

Many people's brains/social batteries are shut-down when home (most people do not need this level of explanation though), they pay money for relaxation, peace, and quiet: not intrusion on their quiet enjoyment by a blood-sucking energy vampire leech who recruited cronies to retaliate against my boundaries as those boundaries stopped him from imposing an *unwanted* connection.

Some do not view people as humans with free will and a LIFE outside their immediate surroundings, so these low-life bored people (who probably drink too much as well) spent a whole year taking turns to "punish" my refusal via petty retaliation tactics. ☠️ Sounds like a very safe place to live! 

Heart to heart conversations with life-long friends over text just goes to show that geography has nothing to do with heart ties and soul ties and depth.

Walking fast and confidently moving in the direction of your best life / dreams and using your time efficiently will never bother those who are doing the same thing and are managing a lot.

Don't be gullible about giving out your information or information about yourself (we protect what we value). Trust is earned, and anyone who thinks otherwise might have ulterior motives. Just because someone lives nearby doesn't mean you should automatically trust them. Trust your instincts.

People who repeatedly demand your time and space are being intrusive, indicating they might have specific agendas or intentions. If their actions seem orchestrated (they pop up on you repeatedly for instance), it's a red flag.

Do not let anyone hijack your time and day, that's inconsiderate and controlling. 💯

They don't need to know anything about your schedule or commitments in order to respect clear rushing/busy signals - period - delaying others is a sign of undermining their time and schedule as if people have nothing going on (maybe the bullies don't, but that's not my reality and they don't get to impose themselves into my life as a connection is a CHOICE). Things or places in common doesn't mean I need to say yes when I want to say no, lack of time or energy aside: I do not report to pestering strangers.

Boundary punishers aren't people I would be interested in appeasing as they're the ones who should not be bothering people who aren't interested in the first place.

Your boundaries do not infringe on the rights of others and investing in your wellness (basic survival) doesn't steal, bother, or destroy someone else's. Oneness is an imperative to harm no one, it's not codependence or acting like someone else owes you their own self-sacrifice. Oneness doesn't mean you're not a distinct person with a right to choices, it means do no evil or harm.

You do not owe your time to entitled people who ignore social cues and are clearly inconsiderate to social cues and busy signals and could not care less if people are late or their clear private and quiet time is bothered (they delay others and make their days more difficult).

Demonic forces try to come into your life with ploys to ride your coat tails : these are the sorts of people who do not respect the time of others.

Refusing additional burdens is not the same as wishing ill on others or causing harm. It's about preserving what is yours. You’re not imposing your burdens and problems on others, expecting them to solve them at the expense of their own responsibilities and work that pays their bills.

Spending time you don't have doesn't make you a good person; it sets you up for burnout because you can't pour from an empty cup. Those (outside your own household) who expect you to prioritize them over your own well-being are not responsible for your health or paying your bills. Many will use guilt to pressure you into giving when you can't afford it or don't have the time, which is neither respectful to yourself nor a recognition of healthy boundaries.

***People who prioritize their recharge time and genuinely don't have time for additional connections are not doing anything wrong; they are simply respecting their own limits, which is something those who take advantage of others should learn to do.***

You can care about humanity at large and contribute your way, while also being careful who you let into your private life and to me, proximity is not automatic entitlement to any part of me and impositions (covert or overt whether it is the main orchestrator or their cronies) do not sit well with me and demonstrate an agenda. No one owes anyone their personal space, private space, or intimacy on any level, it's a choice not forced.

You don't have to know anything about a person in order to not bother them or go out of your way to disrupt their daily life. Genuine synchronicity (grace and pleasantness that isn't overly personal and pushy) is much different and more authentic than anything forced, ambush-like, clingy, contrived, or invasive. Synchronicity is authentic without any contrived clingy or forceful energy, that's far more organic. It's organic as there's no demanding expectations or strings attached in terms of demanding that connection to be anything further than grace in passing or forcing your way into someone's life with the assumption that it's "owed" to you and trying to force them to meet your desires when they may not have the energy and may be exhausted from their own existing life problems and obligations, so demanding more than people can give is warped, how do they have so much time?

Looking out for mutual safety is enough, we DO NOT owe ANY closer connection than a smile/nod as a boundary is a personal CHOICE, proximity is not an automatic social club and the assumption that they're entitled to other people's private time and private space is whack to me, not everyone wants to be latched onto for added responsibilities or favours or exchanging information - and that's fine, they should find the ones with similar needs and learn to leave people alone who want to be left alone before karma teaches them to do so. 👏

Public spaces are settings where we need to be cognizant of personal and shared space and so on, but that proximity doesn't automatically entitle anyone to bulldoze their way into your life or try to intimidate you into unwanted connections persistently in a manner that is far from just regular kindness, but inorganic and inauthentic (forced).

You don't "owe" anyone a place in your life and certainly not leeching or latching off the projects and business you built on your own. They can retaliate against your disinterest all they want as karmic forces do not play.

Those who did what they did (malware on my phone, identity theft, sent fake 'friends' who asked pointed questions with such *abnormal* insistence on infiltrating my life/demanded my contact info, hacked banking, socials, Shopify) could not survive it for a day! I did for a YEAR.

I have questions:

• In 11 years of living here, it's been very cordial, respect shared space and look out for safety - but people have always minded their business. Why suddenly out of nowhere did people start popping up on me on queue like clock work? Who is directing them? I could be wrong, but it seems this was pre-meditated from the words used and the strings they tried to pull to convince me to allow them to force their way into intimate spheres of my life, home and gym. I have never met an intruder that I like and my personal circle is my choice, but this was very orchestrated it seems.
• To me, it all sounds like spying that went wrong - very very wrong and they may have given cover-up reasons to make it seem like it was good, sweet and normal, but there's nothing normal about invading people's privacy as a group and invading their lives or stealing their name.
• So not only did they hack my store, they stole my name for Google SEO, they also sent minions to write fake Shopify optimization sales pitch emails to see if I would take the bait and not see through the delusion? All that unpaid overtime and I AM STILL HERE, please sit down.
• No one likes my aura that much, there have been too many people hellbent on forcing their way into my life/demanding my information for this to be normal and each of them have been forceful, but sneaky and agenda-laden. It seems orchestrated when I put the pieces together. No one is that interested in my energy or life. There had to be more behind it.
• I also find it important to mention that with a poker face like mine and a private personality, nothing anyone is looking to gather likely holds any weight. I also have never met a gym / home intruder that I like or give credibility to (I hold those spaces sacred for peace).
• Someone had to be real bothered to hack my iPhone, but I think it's a combination of past people and a few more recent haters/silencers of sorts who wanted to keep tabs on me to convince me of something (redirecting the path I earned) under the guise of pretending I needed/wanted more friends (I don't).
• The delusion of thinking karmic forces aren't going to hand them their stupid prizes for their stupid games just because they eventually stopped, that doesn't change that it happened in the first place and repeatedly. And the useless enablers are included in karma as well.
• Repeated noise campaigns (construction-level hammering on the floor, not just stomping from time to time) and taking turns monitoring my laundry schedule doesn't sound well-intended, that sounds like spying or a method to cause me distraction/mental anguish (it didn't work, so sit down). I also don't think it's only one ring-leader i.e. the one mad that I refused to connect with them further than a quick nod as they thought I owed them a place in my private life just due to proximity (I trust my instincts and I am not interested or available), there must have been more behind it.

If you know anything about this i.e. who is directing the monitoring spirits (is it past people who were cut off for a reason, or anyone else who feels entitled to monitoring my life), feel free to quietly drop off receipts at my door without breaking my ADHD circuit/focus zone.

I am only public about which gym I go to.

Group one:

As for the gang of IRL monitoring spirits so bothered that most have their own lives, multiple jobs, health conditions and prior commitments that our lives don't revolve around them: anything done repeatedly has karma coming back repeatedly for an equal or greater span of years.

Group two:

For the haters from the past (who I believe link back to the iPhone hacking/document hacking), karma will come back to the same or greater degree of inconvenience this caused and still causes me.

Group three:

The Shopify store hackers: what do you think will happen to your own ventures if you want to shed innocent blood?

And... Misusing my name for sick and salacious Google search results for a whole year and then they suddenly stop so that makes it OK? Anything that happened repeatedly was never OK to begin with.

Karma doesn't care if it stopped after a year (as if it having stopped negates that it was repeated, people who defend those who commit these crimes probably disliked you already so they were just happy to see it happen), karma handles it as repeatedly as they did it, 20X.

🪃🪃🪃

***Not bothered by the attempts to take me down from various angles, including online and in real life with contrived safety scares, they went far which shows efforts to silence or destroy, my issue is the time suck of the administrative load with passwords and safety protocols. ***

More lessons...

Gut instincts not to ignore:

• They make your skin crawl despite being nice on the surface or even having done you favours;

• Their tactics to force themselves into your life are calculated (they repeatedly pop up on you or ambush you despite you changing your schedule for over a year - which is forcing it when clearly there is no available time but respecting disinterest is not their forte and anyone who tried to force non-existent time absolutely has an agenda otherwise they would not do that or recruit others to bother you on their behalf... Some seemingly monitored door latches and got extra offended when you did not allow yourself to get delayed because providing for yourself/rushing home on time is more important than appeasing ambushers who ignore cues: they should just find people with similar needs and stop pushing themselves onto those who have a need for privacy and space at home while simultaneously bothering no one and looking out for safety);

• Something is off and feels predatory with persistence and disregard for time and space and busy signals (repeatedly): this shows they have an agenda and do not care about your consent over their entry or denied entry into your private life's sphere which is under your jurisdiction - just because they're in each other's affairs non-stop, does not mean that fellow paying clients aka other tenants owe them that level of intimacy. Certainly not in a high crime area either. 

Better safe than sorry. Trust your gut.

Those who seek to socialize will do so, and those who desire privacy will have it. We are not meant to fulfill the desires or bear the burdens of others' sick desires (find yourself an escort to go day drinking with or a playmate elsewhere), as that is not our responsibility.

Your unique differences will "trigger" the people who are not accustomed to different ways of functioning and that doesn't make
their haterade your problem at all
- especially if you mind your business, look after safety and noise levels, and bother no one (the nosey ones hate this). Let them be offended and take their cognitive dissonance to their therapist who hopefully will let them know that they don't "own" other people and are not entitled to unwanted connections as that's a form of intimacy and some people don't want to share anything about themselves that isn't legally requires as proximity does not mean trustworthy. The pushier they are, the more they are revealing that they absolutely had an agenda.

My name is NO.

I work at PRIVATE.

Hi/bye is the boundary with me, delaying my comings and goings is not something I take a liking to, and cry me a river if a safety camera offends your sense of entitlement over the private space of others.

Genuinely graceful and pleasant interactions are far more usual due to reading social cues, fleeting, quick, and unintrusive. These individuals don't try to latch onto you or become part of your life by force and weird tactics merely due to proximity. Their behavior is natural and unentitled, allowing you to breathe and go about your daily routine without unnecessary interruptions. They understand that everyone has commitments and respect that, not putting their own self-gratifying desires above the tasks of someone who clearly has places to be. This isn't meant to sound mean or arrogant; it's just that some people disregard others' responsibilities because they seek to take something from them.

Please stop everything that you're doing, stop getting home on time, stop getting to your sleep schedule on time, stop working two jobs, you have an obligation to cater to the whims of the inconsiderate based on proximity who do not respect your time/being in a hurry (for matters that are none of their business) and demand to be entertained by you (want to delay your comings and goings for their benefit to force nonexistent time and make themselves more important than the task at hand and busy signals) and want to use you to cure their boredom, they are the God of your life and rule your schedule too, how dare you disobey these overlords who hate different boundaries and will recruit cronies because stupidity in numbers is real!

Separating yourself from demonic forces safeguards you, mingling with them wouldn't make any sense.

***If you're not in need of an ambulance, you should have no reason to interrupt the personal private sanctuary space (home) of another person for your gratification and expect any delusional entitlement over that space. Many people work multiple jobs and they don't owe you explanations as to why there is no available time for interfering with their quiet property enjoyment as they don't pay for a rental to entertain you on time that is for relaxation, not demands.***

I don't understand why anything or anyone would come before the quiet-time/recharging and punctuality to and from destinations aka conditions to your ability to function and to provide for yourself and your obligations or dependents and anybody who thinks like this .... ⛔️.

Clearly, such people need hobbies if they're offended that people who already have a busy plate do not take a liking to delays. Offended because people do not want anything closer than a cordial nod or quick greeting? Take it up with your therapist and stop making it an excuse to toe the line of the law because mischief backfires. 🚨

Most people mind their business and respect privacy, and they know innately that if there was a security threat, decent people would help... They do not go out of their way, fellow tenants or staff, to try to insert themselves in your life or force you to share private contact information which innately demonstrates an agenda and not likely a good one as true kindness is not persistent and in the case of some tenants - retaliatory.

The effects of chronic stress on mental health are very serious if you let in the wrong people - so you are the bouncer at the door of your life and you get to decide who stays and who needs to go. Nobody gets to decide that for you. This is not La La Land. 

I have bounced back from many hardships almost fully on my own... I also dislike depending on other people for things I should be able to provide for myself (and prefer to because the worst feeling is knowing that those who feed you can also starve you). This is why I am not thirsty or desperate for too many people, I only need a few and in addition to that, I am not obligated to give anyone any parts of myself especially when I am paying money for privacy. I don't feel that anything beyond courtesy is a reasonable expectation as I did not sign up for a rooming house - and looking after mutual safety is common decency and innate - but invading my personal life isn't something I am okay with. 

If you slow down/stop in your tracks every time you're trying to get somewhere on time or get something done, you're not going to get anywhere, but leave it to the people who have nothing to do to be bothered by the fact that people value their punctuality, and the people are eager to get home on time after long days. It's really the principle of not interrupting busy cues and getting in the way of people's daily life beyond cordiality and demanding in a bulldozing manner that they cater to their boredom. This doesn't seem like people who actually value the time of others at all.

The level of privacy with which you operate in your daily life is not thinking you're better than anyone, it's basic self-preservation and it's a different set of boundaries and it's the same as guarding your energy or time, we can't know everyone, and we can't do everything. That's part of life and grown mature adults are not going to go out of their way to force themselves into your day or force nonexistent time because that level of fixation can get very scary. There are other options out there of people who are probably equally bored so why bother those who are not? 

Space to clear my head is like water and oxygen.

For the right ones, you'll never doubt their intentions and neither of you will try to bypass natural reciprocity. Like how dare you respect your responsibilities first! 😱 I call it personal responsibility. Takers aren't the ones ensuring you have a roof over your head. I doubt they care if they encroach on your down time to clear your head (which is why having a disability forces me to have a small circle and I have bounced back from many hardships almost fully on my own so many will try to break me in order to prove I am helpless without their "help" when it's designed with strings).

You will be labelled a bad person for exercising your free will to refuse anything for a person who cannot use you.

People who have places to go and require being on time are not bothered by others doing the same usually.

And my rent is paid to the property management company and not these clowns who think that their retaliation campaign is going to change the fact that I'm not looking for or interested in closer connections at all and proximity doesn't mean I owe them that, not to fellow tenants and not to representatives of the landlord either (staff who can be personable which is fine, but I won't take invasiveness in my the most personal and private sphere of my life as the choice belongs to me so persistence with my personal information isn't right at all and far from a legitimate requirement as professional/formal means of communication exist which is how the Tenancy Act is respected).

Clients who pay for a service don't owe unwanted intimacy and forced entry into their private life, when someone refuses to give their personal information, the correct response is to back off and not linger like a persistent dust bunny or leech.

My circle not coming to my actual apartment does not mean I don't have an existing one.

I am a paying client who is purchasing peace, not added headaches, stress, and entitled demands as my actual life isn't confined by my immediate surroundings, there's a whole world out there and I am here for the cheap rent and I am not here bothering anyone either - such people liked to go out of their way to make themselves an issue instead of respecting privacy and finding others with similar needs like grown mature adults normally do.

You do not delay visibly busy people and then delusionally think that your disrespect for their ability to put food on their table on time is going to be something they reward: them having nothing better to do is their issue so they should focus on other bored people. 👏

My relationship with myself is more important than superfluous connections (as I have enough already) who don't respect mental recharge time, I can live without that especially if they're the ones wanting something from me.

A genuine person will respect that *you* are responsible for the conditions to your mental health first and it's not like you're imposing it on anyone else, you're just guarding what's your first obligation in life prior to being able to function. For me it's quiet time and gym.

Airplanes have passenger limits, businesses have capacity limits, brains have bandwidth limits. If it’s not a rightful obligation, there’s no real need to overexert yourself and the right people would not even dare to try to add to your life’s plate any stress and depletion (they respect the concept of wellness and do not take away from it, they stay out of the way).

A genuine connection is not to be worked for and should not be based on what you can give them, those same people will never be willing to give back, but they will take until they bleed you dry: why I keep a small circle based mutual care and mutual enjoyment of uplifting energy.

Reading energy and being selective is not about being too good for this or that, it's really just the fact that when you're healthy and you love yourself, you're going to have boundaries and it's going to be hard for mis-aligned people to enter your life in the first place.

Those who want FOR you will not be found imposing themselves in a sneaky manner or getting in the way or making your life more difficult for their benefit at your expense: that's the characteristic trait of a hater trying to disguise themselves as something else as if they were upfront - you wouldn't let them in so they have to be strategic.

The right people come into your life at the right time. This means you do not need to compromise your mental health and personal values.

Here’s why these needs are essential for their wellbeing and why respecting these boundaries is crucial.

The Need for Alone Time:

For introverts, alone time is not just a preference loop but a necessity. It allows them to recharge, reflect, and decompress from the overstimulation that un-necessary or too many (forced) social interactions often bring.

I do think we need a confidante in the *right* people (for me, soul ties) for deeper bonds; however, I do think it cannot be an obligation and I think that we also need to learn that as we "age" - life gets busier so we need to also depend on ourselves to fill our needs.

***I screen people heavily for their intentions before they enter into my life, and I will not apologize for it.*** 

Maybe I broke free from too many controlling connections (who brought nothing to the table except draining me and disrespecting my time with multiple jobs and a disability) and now I love my personal freedom and I am careful who I let into my life: this is a natural response.

I just don't have enough time to be a good friend to many people, so I've learned to be content with the few I do have.

I don't have time to waste and see if my discernment or intuition is correct because they always are correct. Life is very short and we can't get our time back so trusting our instincts about people is very important.👏

Your mental wiring might require a level of a alone time and solitude to put order in your thoughts, and you have a right to designate certain segments of your life as off-limits, and anybody outside of any dependent - so optional connections - who deserves an ounce of your time will respect it.

You can live without pushy people who try to force non-existent time under sneaky tactics (ambushing is a form of control), they're undermining your choice, autonomy, and personal boundaries. For optional connections, you can do better!

When I say nutrition, medication, sleep, insomnia buffers, and exercise are essential for ADHD, I mean basic survival responsibilities with a time-consuming disability, not just mental health. Presuming we have spare time and acting entitled to push our limits is not welcome in my life. No one owes anyone a connection, it's a choice and trying to force non-existent time is a sign of entitlement and bully-like behaviour no matter how they want to conceal their pushy tendencies. 👏

My mental health matters more than people who add stress and try to bully their way into my life. I already have a full plate and a disability to manage (if they do not view me as a human with choices and prior obligations, they can go).

Insisting on interrupting a do not disturb segment of my life when clearly no other time exists instead of accepting the boundary like a grown and mature adult or actually professional staff? I wonder what the agenda must be! I never second-guess my instincts about intrusive and pushy bulldozers who think that they should be able to over-ride free will and think they're above the personal space and clear busy signals of others. Sadly mistaken.

Personal space and privacy are rights; unwanted connections aren't. 

Home should be a refuge free from intrusion. 

Civility is owed, but not personal space. I'm not here to cater to those who spy on or monitor others.

Most people respect boundaries and that some prefer privacy and do not want too many people in their business just because of proximity, but some don’t and resort to ambushing while also being intoxicated at times, and it's crucial to avoid them for your overall safety and to avoid misusing your time.  

Anyone who expects you to push past your mental capacity limits or compromise your well-being, whether you have a disability or not, isn't the one paying your bills or ensuring you can support yourself via unbothered space in YOUR sanctuary. They likely don't care about your wellness; if they did, they wouldn't want you to act at your own expense to cater to them for their gain and free exploitation of energy to latch onto (making their desires your issue without you consenting to that connection as you have a choice). The same people who label others as selfish for prioritizing their own obligations and responsibilities first like grown adults who understand that burnout is a consequence often don't contribute to fundraisers or regularly give back. They're usually looking for someone to lean on instead of taking personal responsibility and fostering mutual reciprocity in relationships. We should help the less fortunate within our means and budget overall, but there's a clear distinction between being exploited and genuinely charitable and I do not tolerate entitled people who think they own the time of others or display control issues this early on.

Creating issues because you didn't get what you wanted isn't a real problem - it is a campaign to target those who do not give them what they are not "owed" in the first place and a form of manipulation to get people to cower in fear at the feet of bullies, haters, and overgrown babies. ☠️

Appeasing bullies is never the solution as they should not be retaliating in the first place, perhaps don't ambush people and scare them in the first place? And why suddenly after 11 years of living here problem-free? 🤔

It's a hostile reaction to healthy boundaries and an inability to accept not getting your way, which is a fake problem.

Authentic individuals do not impose themselves into your life or scrutinize your every move, as this crosses the line from "caring" to intrusiveness (it erodes personal choice, dignity, and free will aka personal freedom of choice over who we allow into our lives subject to spare time). Some people value their privacy and choose to maintain a small circle outside of their immediate surroundings because they either feel unsafe (high crime area) or prefer not to become too close as that is their preference. This is a personal choice that deserves respect and acceptance.

I am grateful for my multiple lanes and purposeful life because to have the time to go out of one's way to target people who are renting for privacy not unwanted intimacy is sad and scary (do they not have work to do or something, I do not get it).

Unwanted connections (and if their intent was good, they'd back off wehn shown disinterest) that are persistent can be less than psychologically safe, and it’s best to show disinterest nonverbally. I shouldn't have to deal with nonsense from anyone who isn't my housemate, and my personal space shouldn't be invaded by people who aren't my roommates (home is a sanctuary, not a source of stress usually). If I live alone, there's likely a reason for that. I will not slow myself down or work fewer jobs to entertain what I do not organically have time for, please find someone else to play with because disregard for noise levels, safety, and time aka a finite resource enabling people to provide for themselves is sabotage - not inclusion, that's a cover-up for their distraction/quiet property enjoyment interference campaigns. ☠️

Communities should respect privacy, safety, and personal space boundaries, not manipulate proximity to force unwanted connections.

You should not try to rationalize with people who resort to irrational tactics, and many of them will deny and deflect what they did or they will try to find another point of entry into your life when you're just not interested so the best thing to do is do your own thing and let them do theirs and keep it moving.

Boundaries protect your schedule, body, time, space, and energy. Intrusions into personal space, especially without consent, are unacceptable. It's important to prioritize safety and maintain your boundaries without feeling the need to explain or justify them. Avoid those who ignore your limits and protect your peace.

You don't have to appease anybody who sees you as a means to an end rather than a human with rights and choices and who resorts to ambush tactics/monitoring and various ways to corner you under any guise as it's not acceptable to not accept and respect disinterest or lack of time. There is no time available for such nonsense as it can get predatory if hostility towards different boundaries has already been shown/if you allow that into your space. 

Do they single out everyone who keeps to themselves or only the ones who work 2 jobs and have a focus-related disability which makes their home a sacred and private sanctuary or the ones who they want something from? I do not tolerate coercion methods, and appeasing bullies who think they're more important than your priorities in life and obligations / those who target differences is never the solution. 

Good people do not bother people who bother no one. They respect people's time and privacy. They respect and accept boundaries and do not make people's lives more difficult or make demands on others. Boundaries are basic self-care. 

***

There has to be something very odd going on with someone who has such severe control issues that they think they have the right to try to destroy the lives of others because they said "no" to them. That's quite interesting and entitled. I'm making an issue out of someone else's boundaries is a problem with them and not a problem with the boundaries. The solution is to leave people alone who want to be left alone and go collect other people who don't mind being used and bothered. Wanting to be central in the lives of others is whack. 

Their insatiable need for power over others and control is not your issue and if you acquiesce, their demands only worsen with time and drain you. The solution is staying away and protecting yourself. 👏

There is no limit within which I am comfortable engaging at all with hissy-fit throwing entitled bulldozers. I am not the ego-of-a-boundary-hater whisperer and I pay money for privacy, please go to a strip club to replace your previous playmates.

I don't have to deal with entitled, shady people just because they live nearby. No one owes their time or energy to such individuals, especially if they wait around at night. One bad incident is enough to repel me, and confronting them only fuels their behaviour. Trust your instincts. Let them react as they will—it's better than teaching them it's acceptable to intrude on others' lives and bulldoze their visible busy signals: try accepting disinterest or not having available time and moving on. You're not entitled to anything from anyone beyond basic courtesy. 

Only people who interfere with quiet enjoyment - which has not happened until now during my 11 years of living here - and are bothered by the way that others manage their time and busy schedules are going to cause problems and make their limits about themselves when boundaries have nothing to do with them.

I think that home is the most private part of someone's life and feeling entitled to the home space of another person is coming off as a little bit sketchy for me personally and ringing my alarm bells.  

Personable, not personal is how professionals do business. To think that paying clients owe you something on a personal level is already skewed. Caring doesn't mean invading privacy limits, that's expecting far too much and unrealistic given home is a sanctuary, not a dumping ground for the personal needs of those to whom we pay for a service... It's okay to be kind, it's not okay to be intrusive and insist on being given people's personal contact when they've refused. Agendas much? Otherwise why did they insist?

I have every right to protect my disability accommodation in my own home and let people know that they are not to disturb me. If they are not in need of a 911 ambulance or what not, they should leave me alone, most are fine with a smile/nod/quick greeting without pushing for more and demanding more or finding ways to punish basic boundaries since they didn't get their desires met by you - an extension of their agenda rather than a human with rights to dignified choice.

In psychologically safe situations, you'll never be judged for being in a hurry to your destination as people will actually respect your time and the fact that you want to provide for yourself despite a disability and they will never be delaying your comings and goings or make your life difficult - those who do this are human parasites. 👏

The issue is not the boundary, but their utter disdain towards you having ownership over yourself. Not my problem so do not make it my problem.

Making someone else's security measures and lack of time (home is a zone of PRIVACY) mean something about themselves is a choice, my boundaries aren’t inherently a real issue at all, their perception is. 

I am not responsible for managing their inability to peacefully *accept* the boundaries of others and that our worlds do not revolve around their desires for controlling free-willed humans with multiple jobs and a disability, there's nothing worse than forcing unwanted connections based on proximity as many rent a space with a life outside of it. I don't owe unwanted social relationships to anyone and my sanctuary isn't to be disrupted with ADHD especially: I had to get tenancy accommodations for them to back tf up off of me!  

All they did was confirm my instincts that they try to fight boundaries (even at the stranger stage which is a big red flag) rather than respect and accept the freedom of choice of others and their busy lives outside their living/sleeping space. Entitled people are too much trouble.

Nothing wrong with a smile, nod, and keep it moving type preference/boundary - which just needs to be accepted and not fought against (while also respecting space, noise, and being there for safety concerns as any decent person would). 💯 I mean, waiting for people at night intoxicate is straight up odd and not your job to confront, just make sure you protect yourself as bad reactions to boundaries as strangers only escalates, you give an inch - they take a mile: run.

I am not saying that we don't need reciprocal emotional support from time to time from the *right* people, I am saying that the bulk of the work depends on us and that we can't outsource nutrition, fitness, and sleep: overexertion is only needed for misaligned situations/people.🔥

Fewer friends or connections is a trade-off of working with a disability. There is no excuse for being pushy when someone says they do not have time or say no in any way, shape, or form. The only acceptable answer is respecting it. I may have less hours within which to live my life because I'm choosing to work multiple lanes with a severe disability, but my quality of life is far higher and that's a choice that I made.

Stop demanding more from people than they can give or lamenting normal limits: such pressure is a sick display of inability to respect boundaries.

There is nothing cold about establishing basic boundaries to protect your fundamental human rights and autonomy in choosing who you allow into your life and personal space. Anyone who has a problem with this is acting like a predator. Unwanted imposition, even if supposedly well-meaning, is not warm or friendly and does not mean you should tolerate anything unwanted.

You can't outsource self-care; only you can handle your mental health, sleep, nutrition, quiet time, and fitness. Those forcing their way into your life have an agenda and are essentially trying to place themselves above any existing priorities for basic survival with a disability which truly sickens people with strong boundaries.

I am not out here imposing my responsibility to take care of myself on others and in doing so, I ensure I never have to. Yes, we need emotional support from time to time, but genuine over forced and reciprocal over one-sided or convenience-based.

These basic personal obligations cannot be outsourced (our survival); we must manage them ourselves. With limited time due to insomnia, we can't afford people who drain our energy and disregard our priorities. Leeches posing as friends only bring stress and logistical issues, thinking they come before our survival needs. Such people disrespect our boundaries, bully their way into our lives, and are not worth keeping around, especially if we owe them nothing.

***Biggest lesson is if they don't pay your bills, sustain your ability to work via health rituals only you can do, feed your family, fund your start-up, sleep/eat well/exercise on your behalf: they have no business telling you how to spend your time/energy or getting in the way.***

The most basic autonomy is choosing who and how many we allow into our lives and space. This belongs to us. We choose.

The only way you can fall off is if someone with bad intentions plays you close, but with discernment: you won't want to even deal with that and their spirit will repel you. Genuine people back off with ease when asked to do so.

It's not possible to "connect" with domineering people who don't respect privacy levels and free will or do not view you as a "whole" person in charge of choosing what you will and will not reveal, it should be gradual and not needlessly vulnerable. Grace is in, intrusion is out. Such people count on others being stupid, naive, and vulnerable. Personal protection means you respect yourself. Trust your instincts!

Nobody can latch onto you or your harvest without your prior permission, and it's funny how the people who expect the most bring the lease to the table, they want to clutter your vision to mould it to suit them at your own expense because they want shortcuts. 

We understand our need for less social time as introverts and those who "get" us: respect our gym and home time is off-limits as *we* suffer the consequences of lacking quiet time which is overstimulation (being drained): it's our wiring - not a disease - especially with ADHD, two jobs, and a crash day.

The diagnosis made me realize that I don't have to do things like others because I'm not like others and there's nothing wrong with being unique and authentic and I'm not going to feel pressured to go out more than I have the energy for... I preserve my batteries. Heavily.

Having only 6 days to manage my life instead of 7 due to crash day means I have to "stack" my errands and on the days I work both my craft and side-hustle: I need unbroken focus. I'm a "homebody" out of efficiency, not out of fear of the outside world: entirely different things.

Knowing who you are after having explored and tried enough things is a *GIFT* to be embraced. It's never a person who knows themselves who tries to dismantle the wiring of those who do.

The assumption that everyone processes emotions the same way is off, some need mental recharge time carved out if they are already mentally overstimulated aka ADHD people.

Fact: you don't "owe" anyone intimacy or a social connection.

Choose your inner circle wisely, keep it safe and small.

The only people who view your need for solitude as a personal rejection are the people who think they're entitled to a place in your life (and they think you "owe" them something like a human parasite who will take a mile if you give an inch yet psychologically safe people are safe to say NO to) and already that's the wrong attitude to have because nobody owes anyone that m: it's a choice and everyone has logistical limits.

It's YOUR choice!

I believe having a few deep, soul-level connections is more than enough, as superficial ones exhaust and drain me.

For me, I need connections who are equally purposeful (or more) and have a plan for their life and know how to get their own motivation and know that my home/gym is not for the taking (that's for my mental health and quiet peace) beyond pleasantries and courtesies. There is a line somewhere.

I wouldn't be friends with someone who has a job, a side-hustle, and a disability to manage if you expect a lot of IRL time, I like people who are capable of having full on conversations over text and emotional bonds that stand the test of time and geography. Small circle. ✅

***Saying no does not make you selfish and having basic rights and needs is not argumentative unless someone expects you to be a puppet and inanimate object in your own life for their use and mis-use and wants you to live on the sidelines for their benefit at your expense. Toxic.*** ⛔️

True friends will understand and respect your need for solitude and alone time without making you feel ashamed, which is why I only need a few close friends.

***No one is entitled to your personal information, energy, attention, or any part of you - not even a connection unless you have the time and interest: respect that people have a choice because they're a person with dignity and autonomy and convenience/proximity doesn't mean automatic trust.*** 

You have a right to set a time and energy limit on how many connections you can accept into your life, not everyone has unlimited bandwidth and you're well within your rights to say no to certain people.

No one is entitled to your personal information, a hater in disguise is anyone who pushes your boundaries as those who respect you are not insistent. 🔥

I manage overstimulation by digitizing everything, keeping my circle small which also stops excessive notifications gnawing at my focus, and guarding my weekly crash out day. That's why I am not mentally tired. 🩵

I understand the mentality of casting a wide net but personally, I have limited mental energy, I'm very easily distracted and I only have so much time and bandwidth so that's why I deliberately keep a smaller circle and a fewer higher quality connections for more depth and not scattering my focus as I don't like superficial takers, fake helpers, and users.

I don't know if it's just me, but people who don't like having roommates and have chosen to work multiple jobs to not have people in their space aren't going to take a liking to strangers trying to get into their personal affairs or acting entitled to their *limited* time and energy: working multiple lanes is a choice and I don't need people I don't even know getting in the WAY.

You can't become someone's "crutch" - it's okay to inspire - it's not okay to be someone's sole source of motivation or demand their resources as you too should be replenished in connections where mutuality is expected and where clingy co-dependence cannot at all take place for your own mental health.

It doesn't make logical sense to be expected to fill others' cups before your own. Prioritizing the people closest to you before extending help to charities of your choice is a sensible approach. If someone you just met feels entitled to a significant place in your life, that's problematic. They are not entitled to that, and proximity alone does not make someone a friend. Running on empty to fill others' needs is impractical. As long as you're not harming others, you have every right to live according to your own values. You should decide how you give back and only do so from your overflow. Catering to strangers at your own expense is illogical - the opinions that matter are your own and the people that are actually in your inner circle, not the people trying to break in. It's not possible to control others' filters and what's best for the "collective" is individuals that are not burning out and healing themselves first, but this is just an opinion and the opinions of various people are going to vary, so do we see how it's not possible to cater to everyone anyway and why it's completely nonsensical to try?

The "way" in which someone comes at you is very informative of what they want from you. 

Those who try to force their way into your life are undercover haters because they don't respect free will and they don't mind destroying your daily schedule as long as they get what they want from you and I find that absolutely disgusting.  

Not that you would want them to, but the people who do not pay your bills have nothing to say about how you spend your energy, your time, or how you manage your inner-sanctuary and access to it.

Why waste your time if they're looking for something you don't have to give aka spare time and energy and just go find people who do? 🤔

Remember, those who truly care about you will celebrate and support your commitment to self-care and well-being. They would not mind it even if it means less time or no time for them as they respect your space and don't get in the way of your schedule (like genuine people, only leeches do that).  

People who soothe your nervous system > all else.

Be *very* careful who you allow into *your* life.

Stay vigilant and test the spirit: your circle = your choice.

This is being kind to your own boundaries first and not allowing depletion, this is self-preservation.

👏

When ADHD enters the equation, this need for solitude becomes even more pronounced. ADHD can heighten sensitivity to external stimuli, making social settings overwhelming and exhausting. Alone time provides a sanctuary where they can manage their energy levels and maintain mental clarity.

Scammy people are ambushers who try to get their needs met through you aka view you as an extension of themselves and want to leech off you and go about trying to force their way into your life in crafty, ambushing, and sneaky ways via ploys: never fall for it, use discernment.

My home is my personal sanctuary, and I don't appreciate it being intruded upon; I simply want to be left alone. It's inappropriate to loiter around someone's house uninvited and push against their clearly designated unavailable time as if that was going to be rewarded by them - such inconsideration is low-vibrational and inconsiderate behaviour, and it's equally wrong to knock on their door without an invitation.

You have no idea what someone might be going through, and it's inconsiderate to disrupt their daily routine. They don't owe you an explanation for being in a hurry, and ignoring their social cues shows a lack of respect on your part all because *you* want something from them no matter the cost to them which is inconsiderate and self-centered at someone else's expense. Find people with spare time perhaps? 🔥 

I think the right people will encourage your wellness requirements even if it means less or no time for them and one thing I don't tolerate is entitlement to my time and space, I have 2 jobs and a disability, it's a *choice* how I spend the little I have and my household comes first, go work multiple lanes and tell me how it goes!

We *choose* who is in our circle and from which segments of life, missing out is a trade-off for guarding the quiet time that an ADHD mind requires. Oh well! 😱

I love my privacy and personal space, that's why I love living on my own, I would not change it. It's fantastic to recharge my ADHD mind from overstimulation. Sometimes I want more space so I can build a bigger home gym, but it's fine.

IF I LIVE ON MY OWN: I probably don't want strangers in my daily affairs business! 😱 That's a damper on the freedom and privacy for which I pay and intrusion is different than being genuine. 

I don't think it's ever acceptable to try to push people beyond how their mental wiring is built/created because you're not going to be able to get into their head and rewire their brain for your own convenience. That's not a comfort zone, that's a mental wiring difference.

Wanting to be left alone when you're going about your daily chores and going about your home time is more than acceptable, especially as grown adults who are expected to have mental maturity and the comprehension that everyone is different.

I was always excited to get home and read books by myself in my room as a child - here's the thing, introversion should be normalized and that doesn't mean that we're not able to be outgoing/social at times, there's a time and a place: the "when" and "who" is our choice.

I love my privacy and personal space, that's why I love living on my own, I would not change it. It's fantastic to recharge my ADHD mind from overstimulation.  

✨✨✨Not needing to be "out" 24/7 isn't a character defect, you can be healthy and happy while absolutely loving a tiny small circle and loving reading, studying, and working multiple lanes: life is better for those who mind their business and don't make impositions on people's space.✨✨✨

The Drain of Shallow Socializing and Constant Chatter:

Social interactions, especially those filled with incessant and shallow chatter, can be particularly draining for introverts with ADHD. Small talk and surface-level conversations often feel meaningless and taxing, consuming mental resources that are already limited. Meaningful interactions are preferred but even these require substantial emotional and cognitive effort. Consequently, these individuals are selective about their social engagements, choosing depth over breadth in their relationships.

I don't live anywhere close to my closest friends and frankly, I don't feel the need to, our bonds are emotional / psychic, which is far beyond what "convenience" based and overly forced "connections" can offer. With a disability / two jobs, I don't have spare time (happily so).

The Sanctity of Home and Personal Time:

Home is a sacred space for everyone, but for introverts with ADHD, it is their ultimate refuge. This is where they can unwind, pursue hobbies, or simply enjoy the peace and quiet necessary for their mental health. Intrusions into this personal time are often seen as violations of their boundaries.

Whether it’s uninvited/unwanted visitors or extended social calls, such interruptions can be deeply unsettling (especially if they also work from home, but to have to explain this sounds insane to them).

The same applies to their gym time, a crucial part of their routine that helps manage ADHD symptoms and reduce stress.

Only an opportunist will try to your private time that is off-limits for their benefit, but your wellbeing and that of your household is your first priority: not giving access to your private time to just anyone - especially acquaintances you just met - only for them to use you at your expense or to fill their desires at your expense when you're not a match for that because you're not available/mentally shut-off/not in social-performance-mode during that segment of your life.

Genuine people respect and accept when they or something does not fit the available segments of your life, they want your wellness rather than leeching off of your time / energy and finding clever ways to ambush you or force themselves into your reality especially in your private spheres like home or gym (this over-rides privacy).

Respecting Boundaries as a Sign of Genuine Care:

True friends and understanding acquaintances recognize and respect these boundaries.

They understand that pushing their way into someone’s private life without consent is intrusive and counterproductive.

Busy people, including those with ADHD, do not go home to entertain others: they go home to relax and recharge.

Attempting to make them the solution to someone else’s loneliness is not only unfair but also detrimental to their mental health.

Respecting an introvert’s need for space and time is a fundamental aspect of genuine care and genuine acquaintanceship or friendship. It demonstrates an understanding that their well-being is paramount and that any relationship should not come at the expense of their mental health.

We balance our lives with insomnia buffers and un-interrupted consecutive mental recharge time outside of our work and business (by choice).

We are not the ones with disposable time, himamity respects basic space and choice in who we allow into our lives and being near my life doesn't mean being in it.

We balance our lives with insomnia buffers and un-interrupted consecutive mental recharge time outside of our work and business (by choice).

There's no "spare" time to be idle or slow down when we have 6 days not 7 due to a crash day.

We are not a fit for bored people without a life of their own who try to orchestrate their way into people's lives rather than respecting their cues and space.

There's nothing more intrusive than going out of their way to force run-in's that otherwise would not happen instead of accepting that some are busy and further connecting on a "social" level isn't an obligation similarly to un-necessary physical contact when not in a crowded space, especially when proximity doesn't mean spare time or automatic trust and also in professional/business relationships that should respect people's time for wellness outside of that service being provided. 

Why try to sneak around to pry for people's information or force connections? This is a sign of boundary problems.

Intruders are not your friends:

You will never find genuine people trying to ambush their way into the segments of your life that are deemed "do not disturb" time either or force un-natural run-in's or demand your personal information (the very trait of clingy people you need to avoid and have every right to if they're getting in the way/slowing down your clearly busy day for their gain at the expense of your sanity like parasites, this level of neediness so early on is going to be a massive headache later, and they're not even dependents which makes it even more irritating). 

The right people will accept and respect your lack of time, disinterest, and availability and you'll never catch them trying to force their way.

Introverts with ADHD have distinct needs that revolve around conserving energy, managing overstimulation, and protecting their mental health.  

✨They thrive with a small, understanding social circle and need ample alone time to function optimally.✨

Respecting their boundaries—whether in personal or professional settings—is a testament to genuine care and understanding.

It acknowledges that their primary responsibility is their own well-being as it should be as no one can pour from empty, and intruding upon this sanctity without invitation or freely given consent (not imposition and forced connections that are one-sided) is both disrespectful and harmful to their capacity to function and regulate their energy.

ADHD cannot be going from one thing to the next without mental "processing" time carved out which is what errands/chores/gym/home time constitutes (that's personal space/personal space/personal sanctuary time: if you're not my child, dependent, or of my household: don't make the mistake of thinking I will tolerate intrusive/ambushing behaviour: I will not, I expect my private space respected).

Genuine people encourage - do not impede/encroach/intrude on or get in the way of - your wellbeing aka conditions to basic brain function and survival just because they want something from you - genuine people respect the private/quiet spheres of your life, they don't force themselves onto others, and do not see you as an opportunity or a means to an end for their agenda. ✨

No-notifications time is sacred (unless it's an actual dependent, from my household, family emergency), I do not like un-necessary tugs on my mind/brain when in "brain shut down mode" - the right people respect this without questions. I don't deal with entitlement and blatant monitoring. 

Quiet time to mentally recharge is a survival condition that genuine souls who aren’t looking to impose on you or use you will not be bothered by, you have a right to manage as many businesses as you need alongside a disability without issues from people outside your household.

😱 You can be nice to some and they'll take it as an invitation to pry further and cling to you (no bandwidth for that, I live alone and happily so by choice) - be neutral to all, but trust few...

If someone is trying to invade my personal space and life, I have every right to be irked. I also keep my business relationships with business providers professional as I did not sign up for demands on my time and energy - I am courteous, but I pay for a service through my rent, I don't owe anyone a personal friendship. If they can't handle rejection like an adult, that's their issue, not mine. My boundaries are crucial, and I'm not responsible for how others react to them. I'm paying to live here in peace, not to have others' personal needs imposed on me for their convenience at the cost of my right to choices. I have multiple jobs, a disability, and a private life to manage. The rude person is the one trying to force their way into my personal life and finding sneaky ploys to do so. Setting boundaries is not rude, unkind, or uncaring—it's about self-respect and autonomy (people can say yes or no to anything at anytime, so no is also a valid answer to *unwanted* intimacy which is not a requirement as a paying tenant. Saying no and choosing not to be friends is a personal decision that should be respected, not challenged.

We can't know everyone and do everything, we're out here managing multiple lanes.

Genuine (non-pushy and annoying) people don't try to take more than what you have to give and will always encourage you to do what is best for you and choose yourself because you're just being responsible for your obligations and the core requirements to your baseline mental functioning.

It is intrusive to go out of your way to force run-in's with anyone you would otherwise not see normally or monitor their schedule that closely.

People who behave like this (monitoring spirits) deserve to be blanked. You have every right to protect your peace and not engage with stupid or reward idiocy and underhanded "well-meaning" pushy and sneaky tactics.

I will go to many lengths to protect the quiet enjoyment of my property and my comings and goings, not delayed by people who bring nothing to my life other than stress and demands or those I just don't have the time for and who are underhandedly sneaky and pushy or help with strings attached, of course legal lengths.

I don't take a liking to home time invaders (same as gym time ones), respect unavailable time.

People are not "home" - they are are:

Working/managing their household;
Studying;
Reading;
Working out;
Relaxing;
Sleeping. 

Intruders are removed.

I really don't like impositions and forced run in's on the spheres of my life deemed private if I have already clearly refused to share my personal information, what part of unavailable is unclear? 

Genuine people mind their business in general unless otherwise asked. And genuine help doesn't come with strings attached...

Pushy people aren't worried about your wellness and feelings, so do not worry about how you come off when you assert your boundaries, be civil: but don't let anyone pressure their way into your life in such an intimate sphere of all places.

Nothing about me needs to be known for respect for space, privacy, and common lookout for safety to exist. No intrusion needed.

You don't "confront" people who resort to monitoring you after showing disinterest as they're not psychologically safe if they resort to that in the first place. You protect yourself! 

Undermining (lacking acceptance and respect for) someone's choice to not connect further and on top of that, orchestrating forced connections and getting in the way, delaying, and making their daily life more tricky/difficult to navigate is for what exactly? That's a fake person, a hater in disguise. An obstructor of your daily life under the guise of "good" motives... If they didn't want anything from you but your wellness (mutual respect for space and privacy), they'd leave you alone. They would not seek to insert themselves into your life intently... 🚩🚩🚩

Proximity doesn't obligate me to allow people who try to force connections into my life. I am not sure if I said that already. I do not sh*t where I sleep. 

They are not there there to entertain you or to have impositions made on them. Keep it professional, we don't owe you anything aside the time spent getting the service done.

Decency doesn't come with strings attached or trying to infiltrate the most private sphere of your life. I expect my privacy respected as this is designated "do not disturb" time and I leave just enough time to get to and from my destinations on time. Nothing beyond courtesy is really needed here.

And while some may be bored, that's not my responsibility to manage, 2 jobs and a disability is enough.  

You don't have to spend time you do not have in your sanctuary unless they had strings attached. You're a paying client, not an entertainer.

Minding your own business and bothering no one is not turning your nose up at anybody because I'm not comparing myself to anyone except that they are choosing to make someone else's need for peace and quiet about themselves, I'm just focussing on what I need to be focussing on in my own home. That's my time.

We may just don't have the time and it should be accepted - ploys should not be put in place to for un-natural run-in's which would scare most people - being watched that closely by anyone who I don't know that well (at all, ans do not want to) disgusts me.

I think the biggest lesson for the people who go out of their way to bother people who don't bother anybody or those who have clearly stated that they're *unavailable* (and popping up on them isn't going to change the fact that they don't have time) is to live and let live. 👏

I don't rent a property to make friends (both tenants and building staff included) and I'm also not at the gym to make friends. I don't know if that's clear or not by now, but it should be. I'm courteous, graceful, cordial, but I don't "owe" anyone entry into my personal life.

People who think encroachment is warmth don't comprehend the concept of personal space and personal circle belonging to the individual:

There nothing warm about invading people's personal space that doesn't belong to you and there's nothing warm about unnecessary physical touch when you're not in a crowded space because that's very intrusive, warmth is actually respect and there's actually a very high amount of intimacy with people that respect boundaries because they view you as a person with dignity, autonomy, and free choice. Intimacy has nothing to do with physical space encroachment or blatantly boundaries and consideration, it has to do with mutual understanding and respect.

You don't have intimacy without respect. 

I don't take a liking to home time invaders (same as gym time ones), respect unavailable time. Respect the time of paying clients. We're there to relax, not entertain. If you're audacious enough to try to force run-in's which is pushy/controlling, we owe you no further dealings. ⛔️

If you're trying to break into my life and it's in an area of life that is designated *un-available* and off-limits (I do not care what I miss out on by guarding the conditions to my mental health), you should simply accept that I don't have time.

It's usually very easy for grown adults with mature minds to accept that.

Proximity does not mean availability, trustworthiness (clearly not when someone sets off your instincts), or interest.

I'm not a solution to someone else's boredom when I'm here trying to manage a disability with multiple jobs and choosing to provide for myself because I'm a very autonomous person and I'm not going to have anybody get in the way of the enjoyment of the rent that I pay for or the amenities that I look to use in peace and quiet as I'm not out here bothering anybody.

Solution is to restore the peace that I'm paying for, the solution is not to inconvenience myself with unnecessary added expenses. Just because it's below market rent and I've been here for a while doesn't make it acceptable to bother my life. 

If there's an on-site office and an emergency line, there is no legal requirement for tenants under my lease or the law (who pay for privacy) to divulge personal contact information to building staff and non-real-flood-fire entries (each entry, even follow-ups) require notice.

Guarding the peace around your schedule, time without pointless notifications to recharge, your body, your mind, your time, your attention/energy and your life obligations in general (being a responsible adult who manages their life and understands the consequences of missed deadlines), you're setting property lines and safeguarding what belongs to you.

If others do not take their business, work and sleep schedules seriously, that's not your problem. literally trying to make people late because you want to demand their attention as if they don't have places to go? Please learn how to read social cues and actually respect them as inconsiderate foolishness isn't going to get consideration in exchange, it gets peaceful neutrality.

Trying to force anything on anyone who is a grown adult especially is an insult to their autonomy and undermines their freedom, which is a way to stifle their soul all because you want something from them? Again, it's not because you live near someone that you owe them an automatic friendship or connection.

Many have lives outside their immediate vicinity and anyone who assumed young women living alone means bored, easy target, desperate, or available clearly was mistaken. ⛔️

Go to a strip club or something if you have unmet needs?

Insulting my intelligence on that level when I work and have a business isn't something they can come back from.

Indirectly making my day-to-day life harder and making it difficult for me to provide for myself is way off. I don't go around bothering people who don't bother anybody. So why are they doing that? They're doing that because they're mad that they couldn't use and get what they wanted from me.

They thought that if they were more persistent and intrusive that I would eventually break my walls down, but in fact, I created higher fences as I should.

It's very possible to be pleasant without invading people's lives and assuming they have the energy time and aren't on their way somewhere and so on.

At the end of the day, if I'm paying for a professional service, I'm looking for client service orientation, respect for my time, and respect for my personal space. 👏

It's not because someone is well-meaning that they have a right to invade the space that is closely around my body, invade my life or disrupt my schedule in any manner.

There has to be a level of common sense where we understand that home is the most sacred space of a person's life, and it should be their sanctuary, and there should not be any invasions of their peace or overly personal questions - it should be pleasant and personable, but never overly personal because that's not warranted, especially when they're paying for a service.

I do not pay rent to have my peace invaded and I should not even be looked at as an option for their personal needs as tenants are OFF-LIMITS, please learn professionalism and if it's appropriate in the first place to intrude on someone's sanctuary? We're not here to serve the egos of those to whom we pay for a service or entertain or exert energy we don't have.

I would not mix my social life with business relationships to whom I pay for a service.

***I mean worry about the work getting done and don't be worried about whether or not I live alone or my relationship status, I can manage my security issues on my own if it's going to lead certain people go get way too comfortable.*** 🚩

***People go home to relax and restore their energy and manage their affairs and they should expect to be able to get to their destination on time without ambushes, their massive headphones being indicative of "f*** off" and be quiet while doing chores in peace/quiet without uninvited company following them around - I don't mean polite greetings are an issue - I mean monitoring spirits are an issue who cannot accept your lack of time so they think covertly following you around is going to change that: nope - and I tested it by changing my schedule 25 times as my items disappeared, and return home on time to get to sleep without being ambushed.***

Rude is monitoring people's comings and goings, trying to stop them in their tracks for your gratification and your agenda... Rude is not confidently minding your business and getting to and from home on time and expecting no un-necessary contrived delays by covert-haters who do not care about your obligations, only what they want from you:

I'm not going to slow myself down and explain to someone that I'm in a rush, that's kind of a waste of time and that defeats the purpose of being in a rush, what I'm going to do is keep it moving and expect that they can read my social cues and again, if I have made it clear that I don't have spare time, do not try to force nonexistent time. I'm not going to reward ambush tactics by engaging either because that kind of plays into their hands.

I won't be the one to leave, what I'm going to do is restore the piece that I pay for and expect no personal questions in the future and no unnecessary ambush tactics. I'm not here to meet the personal needs of anybody, I'm actually a client who is paying money to live here in peace.

In the context of client-service: my private time is OFF-LIMITS. ⛔️

As long as I'm cordial and courteous and I don't bother anybody and I'm actually looking out for mutual safety, I don't have any further obligations. I don't have to have my personal life invaded. I'm not going to have my peace compromised for someone else's personal needs. I don't exist for them, I have multiple businesses and a disability.

It's very creative to choose to be offended that someone is unavailable or uninterested in connecting further. It's very interesting to me.

Guarding your boundaries is harming no one and not bothering anyone or getting their way, so accepting disinterest would have been much easier, no?

In a society that often misunderstands introversion and ADHD, recognizing and honouring these needs is a crucial step toward fostering healthier and more respectful relationships.

⛔️⛔️When someone persistently tries to get your personal information to connect with you despite your refusal, it can be considered intrusive behaviour and liking people's energy isn't an excuse for persistence, that's bordering on unwanted pestering. If the persistence involves a repeated and unwanted pursuit, it could also be classified as predatory. Normal people back off and respect LACK OF TIME, they do not try to sneak their way into your life by monitoring your schedule especially AT HOME in the SANCTUARY you PAY for: please keep your personal intrusive questions about my relationship status to yourselves, focus on the work you're paid to do and for the other tenants, please find a hobby other than bothering people who bother no one and who actually look out for mutual safety.⛔️⛔️ 

Everyone deserves a sanctuary free from unwanted impositions, favors, and demands. We are here to relax, not to cater to others. Genuine help should come without strings attached. It's fine if someone has time to spare, but expecting others to handle your responsibilities just because they live nearby is unreasonable. Everyone has their own lives, with many juggling multiple jobs or dealing with disabilities.

If you're only around to make others' lives harder for your own benefit, you're acting like a leech (I don't explain my stress levels or busy levels to those who disregard cues). At that point, I only owe neutrality.

Proximity does not entitle you to be included in their life automatically (their life is not public or shared space) or to take their resources/steal delivery flyers or snoop through grocery orders like a chump; they're not your roommates. People barely manage their own lives and households and don't have the mental space for additional burdens.

Respect that others have lives outside their immediate living space, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I never a signed codependent pushy friendship agreement. 

***Socializing at home is fine, but retaliating against someone for not being interested is not. Imposing and pushing further isn't okay.***

People who want FOR you and not FROM you will not try to force time and energy you do not have in your budget. Period. Protect your peace!

A monitoring spirit is *trying to use you* for something, that's literally it. 

Free choice, free will, we choose for ourselves. 

People who disregard your mental energy and bandwidth limits, and fail to recognize that you lack the energy to connect further than what the situation *even requires* in the first place, are trying to use you.

They lack empathy and compassion for others' disabilities, schedules, and commitments, and only want something from you and are mad you did not delay yourself to centre your life around them!

So, why worry about their feelings if they don't care about yours? Why be concerned about those who don't respect your free choice on who to allow into your private life, boundaries and those who try to delay you as if that's normal?

The solution is to leave the private ones alone, *accept* their lack of time instead of trying to force your way into their days and expecting to be able to stop them in their track and make them late for your gratification at the expense of their already stressful schedule, and go find others with the same needs as you.

Being courteous, quick yet quiet nods/smiles, respecting shared space and being there if there's a security issue, but while also keeping to myself harms no one (you cannot force closeness on any level where consent doesn't exist, proximity doesn't obligate me to share personal information especially that I already lookout for mutual safety and I do not make noise or bother others, it's not a requirement to be friends - I peacefully keep to myself):

You do not "miss out" when you recharge mental energy with guard-rails around that time when you are aware of your wiring: you "align" so you can pour into your real commitments correctly and with full presence: this may seem guarded, but it is how we ensure not running on empty for actual commitments.

Your boundaries do not infringe on the rights of others and investing in your wellness (basic survival) doesn't steal, bother, or destroy someone else's. Oneness is an imperative to harm no one, it's not codependence or acting like someone else owes you their own self-sacrifice (i.e. segments of their life that are designated breathing spaces to manage their ADHD mind and multiple jobs - even if that's a lifestyle choice they've made consciously - it should be respected without pushy intrusion).

Anyone who disregards the limits of your availability and signals shouldn't have access to your time in the first place: you do not need to slow yourself down and make yourself late to explain busy signals and cues, that's insane, if they do not pick up on it, they're not for you and people who do not understand what having multiple priorities is like will never respect your focus so you don't owe them anything. If you refuse and someone insists: please rest assured that inconsiderate people are owed nothing. 🔥

Rude gets them neutrality, not kindness. 

I am interested in synchronicity, not forced friendships and forced connections who manipulate the concept of proximity to their advantage at the expense of my mental recharge time for my disability which comes before anyone outside my household: it's exhausting and draining.

I would not want to engage with those who resort to schedule monitoring or waiting at night when no one is around, I will be focusing on protecting myself in my own home of all places. I am also not a fan of people who cross professional boundaries when I am a paying client.

It's one thing to be caring, it's another to invade privacy for reasons other than helping with safety concerns: I want no part in that.

I will be protecting and restoring my peace.

I won't allow distraction into my home space or have my comings and goings obstructed in an orchestrated manner, who wants to be delayed anyway? How do they think that people are going to respond to that? I would not reward foolishness with any reaction.

We do not "owe" anyone any level of closeness, companionship, or any level of intimacy without it being *our* choice and frankly, my home space belongs to me and I am not there to make friends as this is my place to recharge my overactive mind. Not to have stress or demands on my schedule and certainly not to be delayed and stalled with my comings and goings, let's please not normalize waiting around for people and ambushing (not a natural thing) them like trolls.

I live on my own by choice, I am busy, and I love it: I am not here to inherit people who want to act like housemates and act like people have no choice over who they let into their personal lives. I am responsible for guarding my mental health and getting to and from my commitments on time so blatant bulldozing is absolutely not okay with me.

Healing involves saying "no" to:

• Feeling guilty for prioritizing yourself.
• Demanding people who, as strangers, display overfamiliarity and entitlement, which would only worsen over time.

Inconsideration for the time of others and making my daily life more difficult makes you a nuisance (a nuisance who views people as an extension of their agenda, despite being a paying client):

🔥Everyone has a right to different boundaries, but forcing connections is not acceptable to me and disregarding my clear lack of time by sneaking around my comings and goings to make my life more difficult by causing un-necessary delays, do they think persistence and sneakiness is going to get them anywhere with me other than on a list of people to avoid as they're now interfering with my peace (that I pay for) and daily life running on schedule? The good thing is seeing the bulldozing early without needing further involvement to figure out ulterior motives which any level of manipulation and persistence reveals.🔥

I am pretty sure that everyone has places to be and schedules in life and if this makes me "think I am better than" - no worries because I have nothing in common with bulldozers who want to force their way into my life even if it means delaying my time and making my life more difficult aka at my expense, rather than accepting that we can't have time for everyone and everything and my right to live in peace as I am not out here bothering anyone - I am simply choosing how I spend my time and choosing to protect my safety from intruders.

We're grown adults, accept people's lack of time and energy, and move on, we *choose* who we allow into our private lives and invading people's sanctuaries is off-limits and making their daily life harder by forcing ambushes is not okay with me and again, that makes them a straight up nuisance to minimize or cut contact with it possible. ⛔️

"Friendly" people don't persist to get your private information when you say no and they certainly do not lurk at your comings and goings like little toddlers who cannot *accept* a NO: looking to deliberately get in your way (forcing NON-existent time via bulldozing that is masked as just being friendly when it is not at all: it is breaking your boundary and disrespecting your time) for their gratification at your expense as if clients are paying for demands on their time? 

***Door cameras should be a standard in the absence of hallway ones, and not invading the lives of people paying money for peace and privacy aka professionalism should also be standard. Protect your peace, security, and privacy. I'm sure they can find someone else to entertain them (both the intrusive staff and the intrusive tenants: my life is outside my immediate vicinity, no level of delusional persistence will change that, but I will certainly speak up about it).***

Any help is included in the rent payment and if not, there should be no strings attached as we don't owe personal relationships to places we pay for a service to.

***You respect the "zone of privacy" that is people's comings and goings as they have lives, commitments, and obligations and seeking to intrude/delay/lurk/bother/bulldoze instead of accepting lack of time, interest, and availability is a nuisance: go to a bar or something because I will ensure intrusions stop before they go any further and I am a paying client at the end of the day so I am not afraid of these people's pushy-sneaky-underhanded tactics.***

YOU DO NOT OWE EMOTIONAL INTIMACY, YOUR PERSONAL SPACE, OR PERSONAL INFORMATION WHEN THERE IS NO BASIS FOR IT (or you're just too busy to maintain contact so it is pointless, their best bet is to find others with similar needs or who are available for favours/sharing resources but please stop expecting it from everyone).

Intruders and those delay or bring imposition to your life are often disguised as well-meaning to stop you from pushing back on their invasiveness, you’re the recipient so you have a right to refuse regardless of their so-called intentions as genuine people back off easily.

If the only way to run into someone is by forcing it and looking to catch them at a certain time, you are bothering their daily schedule, making them late, and disrespecting them. Accept the lack of time and move on because this is a bad look and I will think twice before asking for help to the wrong people in the future to prevent intrusion knowing I live in a cesspool of monitoring spirits and basic professionalism is a massive burden to try to obtain in some cases.

I have two jobs and a disability, I won't have anyone from a place especially where I am a paying client make impositions on my schedule and zones of privacy if I have not made that clear yet, I am happy to be to be clearer: I do not pay rent to have anyone invade my peaceful sphere with their demands and do not ask me for my information twice. Also, do not think that people who live alone owe you anything, we love our privacy and have lives and disabilities to manage, we can't keep up with more people and many don't want forced social relationships with other tenants or building staff as it's not a real requirement and intrudes on quiet peaceful mental recharge time amidst many jobs and a disability which is time consuming. I don't have time for forced friendships and my tenancy is on an ADHD accommodation to protect peace.

I don't want, need, or tolerate (I do not have time or interest) personal or social relationships with people whom I pay for professional services or business services, there's a way to be caring without being intrusive so that line is not to be crossed with me. 

If there is no available time, you back off - you do not invade their only time off in life.

They could be a good person and you don't have TIME,  but good people are not insistent pestilent nuisances who try to sneak their way into the lives of people (humans) who are extremely busy and tired via means they try to play off as friendly yet it is intrusive and no one "owes" anyone a connection that is forced at their own expense and especially not when they're a paying client expecting professionalism and not looking to be robbed of basic professionalism since some thing women who live alone have spare time to entertain them: we don't, go find strippers or something.

I do not need to "confront" anyone who has made me feel unsafe, that's terrible advice, I chose to protect myself instead. Period. Showing non-verbal disinterest is safer for me. 🛡️🛡️🛡️

I live alone by *choice* and I love my independence... and I am far from bored and far from "available" as proximity to my life isn't automatic entry, do not even try to intrude on the peace I pay for, it won't work. Not getting to use me. Nope. 🚩

Rather than bulldozing, try "accepting" basic boundary differences for overall peace and learn to respect people's disinterest/not having time, and only when you have two jobs and a disability - you should not have an opinion on how others spend their time and earn a living: you do not delay people's comings and goings (after seemingly monitoring people) for your own ulterior motives: proximity is not automatic comfort or trust, everyone has a choice who they allow into their lives. Being peaceful is accepting that some don't want anything beyond a smile, nod, quick courtesy as their lives lie elsewhere. No amount of pestering will change that. 

I will not over-ride my instincts, schedule with no spare time, or boundaries for anyone else's disrespect and lack of acceptance of my disinterest and lack of time, learn to accept that not having time is part of life and stop making someone else's boundaries about you. I am not the last person who won't have time either, it's 2024.

Those who try to compel you to spend time or energy you don't have are control freaks and manipulators, and you should avoid them especially if they try to force their way in via sneaky means they can play off as friendly when it's actually forceful manipulation and making your daily schedule delayed (the principle of not delaying people's day is basic math).

Some want to know what you're about to find out what they can gain from you or use you for. 

***Imagine feeling entitled to someone's personal life or space without their prior permission? We call that bulldozing.***

Those who assume you have spare time don't mean you any good, everyone has schedule limits, this is basic. Demanding, pestering, and imposing is a sign of a fake detractor disguised as "good" when their actions and insistence show you they're a control-freak to avoid.

Just like those who over-sell themselves (you would not have to say you're trustworthy if you actually were), intensively personal questions upon first meeting is a flag. Don't you worry about if I live alone or my relationship status, I owe you no such information - as a paying client: I am not responsible for their personal needs.

Anyone who is trying to be "instant" friends is over-riding that trust is built and we don't have time for everyone anyway nor is it realistic, assuming familiarity is already a flag that someone isn't good with personal space and time boundaries, why have further dealings?

Selfish is refusing to care about the feelings and the consent of the person from whom you are looking to take the thing that you're looking to take (resources, energy, time, attention, imposing or forcing connections or bonds, anything else).

I keep my business relationships separate from my private life and home time is private time. My social life is not at home. 

Meaning well doesn't nullify our right to our personal space, our autonomy over it, and our ownership over our very sacred home space.

We need ONLY the *right* people and respecting choice/free will, time, energy, privacy, personal space, is a great place to start. If they want to control and bully their way into your circle, that's a problem. 

Imagine thinking that someone else does not have a choice about who they let into their personal space and life?

Early erosions of autonomy snowball over a span of time. People with multiple jobs (by choice) and a disability have extra reason to block off certain segments of their life as OFF-LIMITS! I have never met a home or gym intruder that I like, grown adults respect timing. They respect those protective-of-mental-health-requirement boundaries.

***Someone who doesn’t respect your time, space, and free will: does not respect you, them meaning well does not nullify your right to protect your mental health and peace: in your *home* time of all places! People who encroach do not mean you any good. Remove them.*** 

Theres is nothing nice and sweet about people trying to bulldoze their way into their life and manipulate and con you into unwanted connections that don't feel safe from the onset and think they're owed something after delaying you while seeing you rushing in and out - so making your already-busy schedule more pressured and adding difficulty to you life (how dare you not exist for randoms). Trust your instincts with these types of shady intruders. They are not for you if they feel icky even if they seem nice on the surface, trust your instincts and do not depend on them for anything (that's an entry way into your life which isn't owed especially if you're a paying client or there's no logical basis).

🔥🔥🔥When their reaction to your refusal or boundaries is to try to sneak their way into your schedule or try to force unnecessary run-ins (forcing non-existent time and eroding your right to choices), that would not never happen organically, you are getting more confirmation as to why you should not have been dealing with those people in the first place.🔥🔥🔥

It's important to distance oneself from people who feel entitled to others' time, energy, and resources simply because of proximity and who clearly lack respect for time and basic schedule obligations. Such individuals often overlook the personal responsibilities and hidden burdens that others carry, showing a disregard for boundaries and an inclination to impose and demand.

Choosing to work with a disability due to "brain mechanical maintenance" obviously means that there are trade-offs and other areas of life and I clearly have accepted that fact which is why those who do not respect my
time and energy are not my vibe.

People should be civil and considerate, but living nearby doesn't mean they have the right to invade your space. Some individuals neither need nor want additional social interactions or more people in their life that they can afford to keep up with.

For many, home is their only refuge and place to relax without additional demands and intrusions. It's important to respect that choice. Don't worry about people living alone if they clearly love it and you aren't invited to be bothered by what is none of your business: living alone is not an invitation or a sign of availability.

You should not ever confront, engage with, or have any further dealings with anyone who displays behaviours such as monitoring the schedule of strangers, forcing run-ins with them or any level of lurking whether or not it is well meaning because not only is it unsafe to do so, they are already showing controlling tendencies and allowing them anywhere in your life or near you is a bad idea no matter what anyone wants to say about their so-called "good" intentions. Your safety is your biggest concern. Stop dealing with anyone who tries to force their way into your day-to-day as they're refusing to accept that you have no time and are already struggling to manage your schedule, let alone be delayed by people you do not know and did not invite to wait for your comings and goings. 🚩

I don't have to be friends with anyone just because they live nearby as if I don't already have a busy life.

I think that trying to encroach on people at home of all places isn't appropriate for building staff as these are business relationships so stay out of the realm of people's homes and find somewhere else to look? Clearly, due to the time and place, it wasn't meant to be and those right for me would not dare to violate my privacy and property enjoyment rights by taking a business relationship that should be pleasant and professional trying to make it more than what it is. I did not sign up for that and living nearby doesn't force me to connect with anyone on any level of intimacy...  (and connections and friendships are a form of intimacy that is a choice, but not okay when it's a representative of the landlord and you're paying for peace and privacy, not personal demands and if their help with security was genuine: there would be no intrusiveness) ...beyond cordiality because it'a a personal choice and people have energy and time limits.

The infiltration of my circle isn't a tactic that will work on me. I have a small circle by choice. My business runs online, the right people respect the limits of my availability and those who don't absolutely deserve none.

I refuse to deal with or engage with people who think that forcing run-ins and forcing nonexistent time is acceptable or normal, that level of persistence is not acceptable to me (stop trying to create non-existent time by lingering around as if people don't eventually pick up on the shady nonsense: it is them trying to force non-existent availability instead of respecting that home is off-limits time and humans have a choice).

It's a lack of respect for the fact that I don't have time. It's a lack of respect for the schedule of busy people who are already struggling to manage everything on time and now you're going to add the obstacle of trying to force your way into our lives when we don't have time? Just accept that some people are busy and they don't have the time and move on. These are not even people I know well enough for this to be warranted either (not that it ever is, but there is even less basis when it is borderline strangers).

People without agendas back off easily and don't make you question whether your refusal was clear enough (it was, but they want to conceal their refusal to respect you as a misunderstanding). 🚩

Unavailable time is unavailable time, get with it or get lost.

You're not to go into the red zone or lose our mental recharge quiet time for your disability (our personal mental health requirements are innate and part of our wiring, we cannot change that and our own survival comes first obviously because we are responsible adults who actually take care of our affairs unlike those who sit around all day drinking and bothering others) or make your duly rigid schedule delayed for anyone who doesn't manage your household, pay your bills, manage your disability or dependents.

Selfishness is seeking to control, coerce, exploit, and manipulate for personal gain at whatever cost to them (i.e. seeking to impose oneself in the lives of others, take their resources, or benefit off of them). Self-responsible is protecting your peace and having boundaries. Everyone has energy and time limits, what is rude is expecting people to have none. Getting over it and respecting that this is part of life is the solution to pointless drama by overgrown babies.

Don't let anyone in your life who needs explanations on the basics. Steer clear. 👏 

We owe obeying the law and mutual safety, something most of these people may subtly struggle with...