Why You Can't Miss Out on What You Don't Have Time For: Prioritizing Your Peace
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly on the verge of missing out. Social media perpetuates this fear, showing us highlights of other people's lives— (seemingly) exciting events, new friendships (when you can barely maintain existing ones), and myriad of (random) opportunities.
However, it's crucial to remember that you can’t miss out on people, events, or situations that you genuinely don’t have time for. In fact, prioritizing your peace and being selective about your engagements is essential for a balanced, healthy life.
The Myth of Missing Out:
The concept of missing out stems from a fear of being left behind or not living life to its fullest potential. However, this fear is often unfounded. Life isn’t a checklist of experiences that must be completed. Rather, it’s a continuous journey of personal growth, where each step you take should align with your values, goals, and well-being.
When you’re constantly worried about missing out, you spread yourself too thin. Trying to be everywhere and do everything only leads to burnout and diminishes the quality of your experiences.
By focusing on what truly matters to you and what you have the capacity for, you ensure that your energy is spent on meaningful and enriching activities.
The Importance of Boundaries:
Establishing and maintaining boundaries is crucial in protecting your time and energy.
This means recognizing that not all opportunities are meant for you and that it’s okay to say no.
Boundaries help you prioritize what’s most important, allowing you to give your best to the things that truly matter.
Pushy people often challenge these boundaries. They might pressure you into commitments or make you feel guilty for not meeting their arbitrary expectations (at your expense). However, it's important to recognize that their behavior is a red flag for potential control issues. People who don’t respect your boundaries are not respecting you.
Recognizing Parasites/Control Issues:
Pushy behaviour is a clear indication of someone trying to exert control/dominance over your time and decisions. This can manifest in various ways:
1. Persistent Pressure: Constantly urging you to do things you’re uncomfortable with or don’t have time for. Genuine people don't tell you how to spend your time and energy.
2. Guilt Tripping: Making you feel bad for prioritizing your basic needs and obligations in life over their desires.
3. Ignoring Boundaries: Disregarding your clear no’s and trying to negotiate or bulldoze over your decisions.
These behaviors not only disrupt your peace but also undermine your autonomy. Allowing such individuals into your life can lead to stress, resentment, and a significant drain on your emotional and mental resources.
Choosing Your Circle Wisely:
Your time and energy are precious resources. It’s essential to surround yourself with people who understand and respect your boundaries. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and support.
Those who truly care about you will appreciate your need to prioritize your well-being (your responsibility) and will encourage you to make decisions that align with your values and mental bandwidth/capacity limits.
In essence, it’s not possible to miss out on people, events, or situations that you don’t have time for because your life is already full with what you’ve chosen to prioritize.
By setting firm boundaries and being wary of pushy individuals, you protect your peace and ensure that your engagements are meaningful and enriching.
Remember, your well-being should always come first, and it’s okay to be selective about where you invest your time and energy.
No one can nutrition, sleep, and fitness on your behalf and your existing quality connections matter more than pushy people who you just met.
The illusion of "fitting it all in" leads to me to burnout, I choose 3 life priorities at a time and I expect that anyone who deserves a seat at the table of my life will respect those choices (mutually so).
And, needless to say, anyone from outside my immediate household who thinks they come before the conditions to my mental health aka disability oxygen mask (requiring dedicated quiet time carved out that is unbothered) has to go. I don't have disposable time for vultures who hate the concept boundaries (mad they could not use you for whatever they wanted to benefit off of you for at any cost to you and at your expense).
Prioritize your peace, and the right opportunities and relationships will naturally fall into place.