Challenging Misconceptions About ADHD, Disabilities, and the Need for Flexible Stability

I’ve built a strong set-up in my life, earned through hard work, which I’m truly grateful for, especially given the challenges of living and working with a severe disability. Unfortunately, not everyone with ADHD has access to the same resources, and I still encounter people pushing outdated myths rooted in their comfort zones. It’s time to raise awareness and push back against this ignorance.

My name is Karisa Karmali, and I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2011. For years, I mistakenly prioritized anxiety as my main issue, not realizing it was just the escalation point of untreated ADHD. A few years back, I ended up on the wrong medication, mistaking anxiety as the root cause, which led to severe depression. Now, I know better—I need noradrenaline-focused treatment, paired with exercise and recovery routines that support my ADHD.

Living with a lifelong disability like ADHD comes with unique challenges that many fail to understand, leading to misconceptions about what stability, ambition, and accessibility really look like. There’s no one way to live, work, or thrive.

When every part of life stays in its lane and respects guaranteed personal recharge time with reasonable overtime requirements, there’s no need to question someone’s coping mechanisms or disability management strategies, whether it’s workouts or anything else that doesn’t fit the norm. ADHD requires unique approaches, and that’s the point. 

I’m addressing those who judged my need for intense exercise, failing to understand that my personal time was never theirs to claim beyond reasonable business needs from time to time. 

Mental recharging takes priority over any additional responsibilities, and no amount of FOMO or hypothetical ROI changes the fact that my ADHD requires regular “crash days” for recovery. This isn’t temporary; it’s a permanent medical need to avoid burnout, which those of us with ADHD are especially prone to.

People often misunderstand the realities of ADHD and disabilities, ignoring that we can’t afford the same risks others can. We need adaptable structures to balance both personal and professional lives. 

One assumption I face is that sticking with a familiar job while managing a flexible side hustle shows a lack of ambition or drive. But to me, health is fulfillment. Real strength lies in knowing your limits, not overextending yourself. True commitment is about longevity and sustainable results, not endless overexertion.

I never started my side hustle with the intent to go “all in” like some people preach. For those who did—focus on sustainability, not reckless risk-taking. Despite what the so-called gurus say, preserving financial stability is far smarter and healthier. Stop glorifying the hustle-for-hustle’s-sake mentality. Those of us with fluctuating conditions like ADHD simply don’t have that luxury.

A manageable workload isn’t "spoiled" - it is protecting recharge time, because without it, we risk cutting off our essential lifelines—sleep, exercise, and recovery days. ADHD is like a mental wheelchair; we can’t just “step out” of it whenever it’s convenient.

My blood pressure fluctuates, my crash days fluctuate, and my symptoms ADHD fluctuate from one day to the next, so what business would I have doing anything that isn't results-based and feasible at any time around a 24-hour clock in general? That's why my brand is digital also.

PSA:

I wouldn't offer any coaching services 1 on 1 (not even virtually as I sell solutions - not my presence), even if I did my business full-time, but I'm not going to do that because I love my work so the trolls can sit all the way down and respect the limits of my digital business or get out. 

They don't understand the cost of medical upheaval mentally and how I could not afford a role with more responsibility even if I wanted one because managing a disability this severe is akin to the time cost of a part-time job: this is respecting my limits, not letting my limits rule me, it's called reality 101. 👏

Selfish just thinking a person with a disability owes you anything that disrupts their baseline survival requirements. Amputees do not suddenly stop requiring rest because they love their work or loved ones, it's not like survival requirements or consecutive rest needs that can't be outsourced suddenly disappear. That's not logical is it? It's the same for *mental wheelchairs* and mental rest.

To be clear as this strategy won't work either (those who have tracks to conceal sending their cronies to distract me):

If you're delusional enough to mess with the medically-required quiet gym time of a disabled person who monitors their heart rate and blood pressure, you're clearly not passing the "read the room" test and anyone trying to force themselves onto me is being denied immediately especially those "quit your job" recruited cronies to whom some dark forces outsourced their dirty work, likely the same people toying with my disability-related blog posts. If you had no tracks to conceal, you would not be so obsessed with me. Stop acting like a fan you hater, you're inflating my ego!

I used to have people around me that were constantly trying to sway me out of my spot, but I earned my blessings and their insecurities, hatred of different work methods, or dislike of me is not my problem to suffer about. 

It's repulsive to try to incessantly pressure yourself (force is different than healthy enthusiasm) into anyone's life, first off, we don't owe you time we don't have, second, we don't owe you lowering our privacy settings to satisfy the agenda of the dumb orchestrator who sent you.

No, dingo, the best "revenge" is protecting what I have rightfully earned. I am not going to suffer due to anyone else's mental inflexibility or designed stumbling blocks. 

My personal path isn't regulated or ruled by anyone but my existing health team and I. So good luck sending monitoring spirits into that realm of my life because you're going to fail.

If you don't want to be called out, leave me alone. I don't listen to my peers either (so don't try that again) when it comes to life/career/health advice because they don't know me like that and it's my right to remain private about my life, while being kind. I respect them as professionals, but they don't know me like that and it's a line to not cross with me. 

Again... Whether it was coworkers or anyone else, I respect them as professionals, but they are not my life advisors, and I think everybody just needs to learn their place. 

Professional relationships should be grounded in the work itself. It’s unacceptable to encroach on the time of someone with a disability, who already has limited evenings and weekends and often loses an entire day to recovery each week, just to push your own agendas. Whether or not someone has an issue with my side projects—which I only pursue outside of work hours—is irrelevant. What’s not acceptable is repeatedly disturbing my peace by proxy or attempting to manipulate me out of my position.

I am not responsible for someone else's hatred of my different life choices. I'm sure I would have less problems in life if I was a "typical" female, but I've chosen a different path. I think the worst internalized misogyny I've ever experienced is actually from women, but that's a story for a different day.

They're just going to have to learn to manage their own insecurities within themselves and stop making it my problem! 

It's demonic and disgraceful to act like a permanently disabled person will ever be able to stop focusing on health (as it naturally fluctuates) or "cure" their disability as if medication somehow "erases" all symptoms of ADHD, it sounds like a cloaked tactic to control their path. And no, I don't want your mushrooms or fairy dust. Leave me alone.

You can't trick people out of l knowing their personal tastes, likes, dislikes and more importantly, calling knowing what I want a "comfort zone" when I am clearly self-aware with more life experience than most isn't going to work as a smokescreen of underhanded trickery.

My comfort zone was needless overexertion, overwork and being on a hamster wheel of dog sh*t, NOW, it's all prevented by my efficiencies, medical directives, meds and exercise prescriptions. 

Working at all is AMBITIOUS with a disability this severe that manifests itself how it does for me personally! Period. 

We need so many buffers in our schedule to manage a time-consuming health condition, stop acting like we are lacking ambition for choosing our health. Oh and if our capacity limits inconvenience you, you are the one with the problem and part of the global problem aka barriers faced by people with disabilities in business and all areas of life.

And this is not being controlled by my ADHD, but respecting my human capacity is having self-respect and sense. I don't function with scattered focus/scattered mental bandwidth, so I put an end to that way of living.

I am not here to try anything new for the sake of convincing anyone as if my life revolves around wasting my time to control their irrelevant perceptions. It's like telling an experienced lifter to try a new sport as if they haven't finished their exploration phase years ago? Projections much?

People ask why I would stay in a role that seems "too easy" for me or whatever as if I am some sort of ball of ambition with no health issues (a disability is a disability, not the common cold) and sleep problems (I handle my ambition in a way that respects my health now and I can pause my side hustle when I am too tired from my ADHD which will fluctuate even when treated - it's a disability not a migraine)—as if every career decision must align with an idealized, one-size-fits-all path.

But in reality, for those of us with ADHD, it’s crucial to focus on creating a stable, functional setup today that allows us to manage our health and minimize financial risk. 

Unexpected medical needs can arise at any time, and they often aren’t fully covered by insurance, placing people with disabilities at much higher financial risk if stability is compromised.

ADHD has similar considerations than PTSD when it comes to erratic/odd/seemingly whack sleep schedules and even medication, exercise, nutrition can't change it (just mitigates it), we need to respect that healthy and happy looks differently on everyone even if it seems unhealthy.

We can't "fix" what our bodies need, we EMBRACE our different requirements: we go with the flow, not against it. I have odd sleep habits, my lower-end exercise prescription is 60 mins 5x a week, and I have two modes: hyperfocus/crash-outs, as long as I have crash days, I'm fine.

My current setup—a reliable job I know well (I have earned that knowledge via honing it in for years and I am worthy of reaping the benefits of growing my knowledge so I can give back with more efficiencies) paired with a side hustle I can pause when needed—gives me the flexibility to manage my health while maintaining financial security. It’s a deliberate, resilient choice, not a lack of ambition.

If you dislike how I manifested my perfect set up, mind your business and learn how to manifest, but trying to distract, delay, destroy, or disrupt my peace is going to backfire.  

Life is not a game, promoting irresponsible risk is not okay, teach people how to manage time/technology instead and have multiple lanes perhaps? 🤔

You do not "heal" from a permanent disability, how ignorant can you be?

A normal non-neurodivergent person may be able to work against their wiring, but when you're already prone to burn out, and you have a severe disability, that's actually not possible - at least not for me. I don't have time for my disability to escalate and full-blown anxiety and burn out ever again.

A disability requirement is a fixed oxygen mask, it is not going to change or "go back to normal" like a curable common cold. 

A permanent disability is a permanent disability, not a curable temporary illness that goes away with time or gets back to normal once the lifeline expires. Accommodations for a permanent disability should be exactly that, permanent so don't be tricked out there and ask the right questions upfront. I am giving general tips for others.

Yet, comments about “settling” or “failing to aim higher” persist, and the demands that we conform to rigid standards are silly and out of touch.

For the bothered haters:

Managing my disability, minding my business, protecting my medically-required sleep-crash days for a burnout-free existence, exercising, keeping a small circle, building my side-hustle outside of my main lane's dedicated hours shouldn't bother anyone who has their own life. It's not like I am interfering with others or going around doing whack nonsense.

I am not bubbly or chirpy because I preserve my energy, but that's not at all a reflection of happiness because happiness can be quiet and content. I also give back in a manner that respects my disability and with that level of a disability, I don't even have to. I choose to give back online and that will be enough for the right person. My involvement in humanity is a little bit different than the average person because I'm not the average person and I don't have to act the same way.

Unfounded targeting disguised as concern stems from envy. If you’re undermining me over "concern" due to ADHD, isn’t that covert attacking? Best of luck justifying that foolishness as if a diagnosis of ADHD undermines someone from choosing the size of their circle and their path autonomously?

Everyone needs different things to be happy and concealing control as care implies that a medical condition like ADHD justifies undermining someone's free choice and personal space and privacy and autonomy?

Gross...

Do you also want to choose what I eat for breakfast? There's a line to be drawn at some point and people do not have a right to interfere in my life whether it's attacking me online keeping tabs on me in an underhanded manner.

Every idiot who has tried to force their way into my life, has tried to convince me to quit my job in one way or another and new way too much information about my history in situations that undermined my disability. That's really interesting isn't it? I prefer lifelong friends that I have known since childhood or high school anyway and I don't need new ones so please don't try it with me. That's just me knowing my limits and not taking on more than I can handle. If I can't water a connection, there's no point.

Testing boundaries to that extent (you cannot make time you do not have, period) is a sign of underhanded attempts at covert destruction, there's no other explanation for it and we are way past the well-meaning excuse when I have publicly shared my baseline medical requirements. 

You have zero business anywhere near my personal life if you think you can sway me out of my side-hustle time and lengthy workouts for my ADHD, don't even try it with me, you're promoting the opposite of what my actual health team recommends and you're creating a barrier.

If I want a side-hustle, that's my own time, who cares?

Even more interesting and while it was fine for 11 years and people respect other people's privacy, as soon as I started working remotely - I became a target suddenly:

Can you guys believe that I needed an accommodation in my rental because I cannot refocus from interruptions while I'm working or sleeping (ADHD)? I had to get a medical note to be left alone in my own sanctuary by overly intrusive people with no life who did nothing but try to persist and push themselves on me (not the same as normal graces that are respectful of personal privacy and time, getting in people's way is not exactly normal). It's wild.

Also... 

You don't bother the medically required gym time of a disabled person for your fake agendas/failed trigger words. The same way that you don't bother someone's IRL privacy settings for your delulu convenience because we don't "owe" anyone lowering our personal privacy settings.

You can't possibly mean well when you already know someone doesn't want a big circle and is selective when it comes to that? Why be pushy and undermining to their autonomy and on top of that, try to choose for them?

Even without a disability, people have on average 3 hours per day for their personal lives in the evening and then 2 days off per week mostly for errands and housework. I do not see the appeal of a massive social circle at all. It sounds unsustainable.

it's not like I'm not aware of the sacrifices required to continue working multiple lanes with the disability, I'm very much capable of handling my own life and I'm not going to tolerate any level of intrusion because that's not dignified. I have gone over enough medical exams to prove that I have a disability and to prove what works for me that I'm not going to have anyone try to invade my life any further. I will take any legal means necessary to protect myself from people like this. 

Again, my set-up is good, but this is to address the ignorant boundary-pushers of the world and hopefully shut them up for good.

By resisting the urge to change who we are to appease others (as those who respect us would not stifle us in the first place for their personal gain or convenience at our expense if we're harming no one), and it's not like a disability is curable - it is only manageable ... we empower ourselves to live a life that aligns with our uniqueness.

Does having the ADHD label on a person justify scrutinizing how they spend every ounce of their personal time and how they manage their personal life, which is accordingly to ensuring that they have enough quiet time (via a tiny circle by choice) and exercise so they can focus while working multiple lanes?

If someone genuinely cared about your happiness, they would respect your definition of it—including your choice to keep a small circle chosen by YOU which leaves time for a TIME-consuming disability and QUIET gym sessions/quiet home space (not social time).

They wouldn’t be trying to force certain particular/ specific people into your life without an agenda. 

I would never get in the way of people's coping mechanisms (those who would are inducing chaos) whether or not they have a formal disability. If your body and brain cannot recover on a daily basis from simply existing and daily stressors, you shouldn't be expected to function.

Anybody run up in your life and dominate your time, your energy, or how you manage your disability. This is just common sense and self-respect.

One thing about me is that you're not going to bully yourself into my home space, my gym space, or my social circle and you're not going to dominate how I manage my disability or life as it's not your show a it's mine: I am not a host for leeches. People have free will.

PSA: Nothing is wrong with you if you're an introvert with a small circle, I didn't know that ADHD was my primary diagnosis 2 years ago as I forgot (lol). Thought it was anxiety, but no. I work remotely/I run my business online. I KNOW WHAT I NEED. I'm self-aware, leave me alone.

We are told our whole lives that there's something wrong with us for being introverted, but that's not the case. We are very good listeners and we turn on the charm when it's necessary, but we have a low social battery. It's not personal. NEURO-EFFING-DIVERSITY.

How is someone else going to tell YOU that you do not want what you know you want having walked in your shoes your whole life and knowing your own vision? That's a control tactic to tell you that you're overhyping what you love about your current lane set-up. Why so pressed?

Fake support is actually a burden and a distraction concealed as help but it's absolutely doing the opposite of what it should be doing and undermines your true needs. Be very careful who you allow your in your business.

Using my ADHD as an excuse to invade my life is discriminatory and infantilizing. I’m fully aware of what’s best for me after years of studying my condition. My past burnout was due to untreated ADHD, not a lack of self-awareness. I protect my well-being through exercise and quiet reflection; this is how I process internally. I have no need for people trying to force their way into my personal time.

My personal life and information is entirely private and up to me. I don't owe anyone a friendship based on anything. My personal circle is my choice. My personal health is also my choice. Someone else's inability to respect my different choices just because they made different choices is not a burden I'm going to carry. I'm already carrying enough burdens with a disability. 👏👏👏

My ADHD diagnosis, which I’ve confirmed through extensive testing, is no excuse for anyone to invade my privacy. If you’re genuinely concerned, you’d respect my space, not try to control it. Care is never intrusive—it honours boundaries. 🛡️

Forcing your way into my life under the guise of helping is simply about control. I’ve been managing my ADHD effectively, and my private coping mechanisms like exercise and solitude are essential. Using my past struggles as leverage to monitor or manipulate me is unacceptable.

You don’t get to decide who’s in my life or how I handle my disability. I know what’s best for me, and I choose to protect my peace and I will not allow any monitoring spirit near me to report back to head quarters (dumpster fire variant of TMZ). Intrusion disguised as care is simply a power play, and I won’t stand for it.

My personal time/space belongs to me regardless of where I am whether it's home, gym or anywhere else, that space belongs to me as I'm there to utilize the amenities and I'm *paying* to be there. I'm gracious, but I don't owe my time/access to my private life/a forced connection.

Committing cruelty/harm without remorse is morally wrong, but acting like someone is selfish for not allowing you to hijack their personal space/personal time for basic disability management outside of two jobs-when you're not their child/dependent? Please find someone else to leech off of.

There is no way you're supposedly trying to help someone if you knowingly send people to disturb their personal peace/medical requirements for quiet/space at their own expense for your own agenda - using very specific trigger words that you are trying to use to get them to react the way that you want them to.

Respect people's differences:

If the ER nurses and my health team fully supports my 300 weekly minutes of cardio plus weights, non-medical professionals need to simply respect differences. I also am loving my cooling scarf to avoid overheating due to higher body temperature from ADHD medication. ✅

Wickedness wants you to be villainized so they can be stamped as "acceptable" - essentially conceal their nonsense and normalize manipulation and chaos. Showing up in the world as reserved, quiet, energy-conserving isn't the same as using, exploiting, forcing things on others.

I expect all business-activities to remain strictly far away from my already limited short evenings/weekends minus a crash day for sleeping off insomnia and that's a healthy separation of business/personal when you have a disability and wish to avoid mental overload. I don't mind putting an extra working hours, but I'm not moving my insomnia buffers for optional activities as the nature of my work is backend.

Not desperate to "belong" anymore, came home to myself and set criteria for what I allow in my life, I lose a full day to crash from ADHD so I have 6 not 7 days - this isn't rigidity, this is a basic mandatory health / survival requirement. It puts time into a new framework.

The definition of balance and health should also not be made by non-disabled people who are not doctors, but want to play God in the lives of others which is very detrimental to our quality of life. The evolved ones are capable of restraint and backing off (listening).

Oh... And...

Men are stronger than women right? So why other than weight loss should I lift? Mental health and somehow now that my lanes respect my recharge time, I have no problems, wow what a concept. 👏 

Putting personal desires above all else would mean exploiting or doing illegal things to get what they want (stepping on others, invading their life by proxy, monitoring them from afar), but if you're minding your own as the sole person responsible for your health/survival and not infringing on the rights of others: you're not selfish.

***I don't care how my life looks to someone else and the neurotypicals out there who seem to love ascribing their values on others who are not their personal chew toy, I care that I'm happy.***

Please feel free to contact me at info@selfloveandfitness.com if you’re a reputable mass media outlet interested in discussing this further via email for a written interview-style news story.