Healing Can Be Scary
Some will like the fragile and weak version of you better and I am not saying that strength and vulnerability aren't capable of co-existing, but stepping into your power and manifesting abilities may not vibe well for some people and that's part of your evolution.
More grace than warranted protects your own blessings, but you do not owe more consideration than you're shown without begging and pleading for it as what's meant to be will naturally align and what isn't will naturally implode. Do not let anyone waste your time twice once they've shown what they're capable of or have shown that they view you as an extension of their agenda with no personal power, priorities, a mind of your own.
For energetic protection...
I started implementing fast and easy (low-maintenance) shielding.
Black tourmaline holds significant power for me now. 💙
My fascination with healing crystals, driven by good intentions, took on a profound meaning. Previously, I had only superficially patched up my fractured self with a fragile thread.
On edge, and ready to unravel, I hadn't truly healed. It wasn't until I faced the cracks, leading to an ADHD diagnosis, that I realized the depth of my need for genuine healing. I wish I had recognized the "what" sooner.
I used to cry from any unfounded foolishness, now I command those people out of my existence or I minimize contact. 🛡️
With healing comes higher spam filters and a lot of shedding, but do it anyway because who is meant to be in your life and what is meant to be in your life will grow and evolve with you and stay the course (provided they're deserving of you).
Your personal sovereignty will not sit well with everyone from your past and that's part of the game. You have to be OK with that when you heal. You can wish everyone well but understand that not everybody will understand the new you as you won't always understand the new you!
Just like you don't have to share information that you don't want to just because their heart is in the right place, you don't have to allow someone in your life just because their heart is in the right place if you don't have the time, interest, or energy. Protecting yourself is not rude. Expecting you to walk this earth unprotected is what's rude.
Your mind, values, and life path are under your sole jurisdiction and ownership. Past the point of reminding you to rest and manage your wellness (in your own way), anyone seeking control over your mind is a bullet you must dodge as basic humanity rides on personal autonomy/free will.
Caring is just an energy. It has nothing to do with allowing someone else outside of you to control your affairs, your life, and your health. People with very bad boundaries will confuse caring with control, but you don't have to.
You don't set your own household on fire to help someone else's at your expense (silly), that's not even Biblically sound... Handle your obligations, your dependents, and your health conditions, and then you allocate your overflow to those you choose to allocate it to, a choice.
Anyone who wants you to spend time or energy that you do not have or over-exert yourself when you literally need to rest is not genuine. What is easy for others may be difficult for you and vice versa if you have a disability, so they don't have a right to judge what your health requirements are, but they should definitely stay out of the way if they're not part of your household or dependents. For instance, only one or two phone numbers are allowed through my do not disturb feature, everyone else, including friends, is to email me because I don't do instant messaging with ADHD, that's a mental wheelchair that might look odd to others because what is stressful for us may not be stressful for others, but you don't have to understand something in order to respect it.
It is very basic to be the one to decide who you allow into your life as humanity is about harming no one, but strong and unshakeable boundaries are critical to mental health and avoiding emotional burnout. 💯
I don't think it's picky to have standards in life, and I think the more high your standards are the better the Universe rewards you so tell anybody that tries to lower your standards to kindly sit thyself down and stayeth in their lane.
Respecting the journey and consciousness levels of others means refraining from correcting their projections and misunderstandings on/of you. It is wiser to let them grow at their pace and focus on yourself.
You're allowed to set certain segments of your life on "do not disturb" so that you can show up fully for your business, clients, craft, and existing charity of choice - something that the haters of those who value their private moments likely do not even have or give back to.
Everyone has the right to disconnect. It is not a show of passion or not to require mental resets and guaranteed rest.
Life-changing belief that I am worthy of an online business model (and charity model) that stays in its lane and doesn't interfere with my home, gym, and spa time to ensure that my disability is managed sustainably. 💙
Anyway...
The Universe is making me cry happy tears constantly and showing me:
• Yes your business is worth it.
• Your constraints will be respected by the right fans and clients.
• Your craft will still be fun even if you can't work as much as before.
Your health (not their validation) is your hedge of protection.
✨The Universe and God will send blessings your way while working around your brain shut-off and sacred carved out "mental battery recharge time" so no, filling your cup first and guarding that time won't make you "miss out" on what is aligned and what resonates with your wiring.✨
I adore, love, enjoy missing out on anything that doesn't align with my timetables. I love it thoroughly.
On vision-hijackers who pose as the sole ticket to your future...
Genuine people respect your vision, they make things mutual, they do not expect one person to drain their own goals as if speculative ROI was fulfilling. They're not vultures like a leech would be.
Would they put their own goals and energy replenishment and responsibilities on hold because giving is better than receiving? No they would not!
It's wild to think anyone would have an issue with you managing your rightful obligations (which doesn't harm or take anything away from anyone) first, while they try to hand theirs off to others (people who happen to have no obligations towards them in that context because Oneness doesn't forgo boundaries) acting like that is normal.
They are one-sided takers pretending to care, just wait and see how they react to normal healthy boundaries and putting God and the Universe's vision for your life and it will tell you everything you need to know about their character (or lack of character I should say).
Some people will come in posing as a mentor as though they were qualified to speak on your life, but let them know that you don't need their advice because very few people comprehend the concept of running a business with a disability and you have everything that you need from stemming your health team and existing partners.
Choosing what to share and with who (whether you have an online platform or not)...
Your private business is not safe with everybody and that's just the reality of it. You have no obligation to premature vulnerability and healthy connections are gradual rather than rushed. You're also not obligated to breach your privacy rights while setting a boundary towards something or someone for which you are unavailable. Should they choose to personalize your logistical limitations, or availability limits, mentally or time-wise, that's up to them.
Managing mental overstimulation...
Anything requiring over-functioning can GTFO especially if it's not a dependent. 🛡️
Guaranteed, unbothered, cemented, and heavily guarded (as it should be) balance whose existence I need not worry from one day to the next looks fabulous on me if I do say so myself. Obstructions not stemming from my own household or dependents can stay out. I repel all of it. 🛡️
We all have non-negotiables, I do not stop to explain mine: I keep it moving as I do not beg for the bare minimum and we're not on the same planet or wavelength if you think I am about to disrespect my own time like that. Periodt.
I don't overfunction to "make" inorganic optional connections work at the expense of the very clear conditions to my mental health, who would try to delay/impede on my time for that? It's an issue if they think they come before that and it's an optional random person.
Healing means your goals stop for no one and you do not care who thinks that you take your future too seriously, you value your time and you do not mess with those who do not care about their own or yours. Infiltrating and distracting your life is impossible now.
You cannot "build" while trying to fix what isn't yours to fix or what/who drags you down, elevate through healing. Love and respect their journey, but learn to identify when your part is over and focus on what/who aligns with your journey instead.
Shedding dead skin is one of the best things I have ever done and my only regret is not doing it sooner, my circle decreased in size an extreme manner but it has heightened in quality. I screen people heavily now and it's going to repel the wrong ones. Do I look like I care?
Least amount of explaining and most amount of living authentically and in our worthiness (from within, by virtue of simply being) please!
On choosing wisely... People who remind me how big an undertaking may be, but that I can handle it if broken up into chunks. Diamonds are worth more than anything, I do not need the "help" and "support" of anyone not already in my life or business: no new friends, back right off please. 🛡️
The only people worried about those who stay at home, study, and workout (for fun, yes fun) instead of drink and party every weekend are not trying to see you succeed, they want to distract you, they don't need to be in your life.
You get to define "fun" for yourself, not those sent by the devil.
Overplaying your part will not make the unwilling do their part.
I want organic, natural, intuitive, and real... If I have to ask for the basics: I am better off on my own and with my select few.
Having to explain the basics to people means that they they are not the kind of people I want to be around because those kind of people will blame you for the mistreatment that they gave you (completely unprovoked) and you don't have to give them further opportunities to step on your neck and getting to know them better or anything of the sort would not change the fact that they are not for you. Focus on soul-level connections that don’t need incessant explanations and don’t drag you down. We know a "taker" from a real one by how they respond to boundaries. No one outside my household is going to act entitled to my time.
Kindness isn't being available to all either, boundaries are very Biblical and so is the law of reaping and sowing.
Fewer people who pour into you as much as you pour into them is higher quality than fake people who do not align with your love language and the true type of support you may need (per your own definition, not that of randoms). It's not truly helpful if it does not meet your needs.
As long as I manage my obligations and duties, I will miss out on anything anytime if it means protecting my health. 🛡️
I am not interested in overexertion as it is a sign that you must be inorganic in order to make a connection work and go beyond your human limits: no thank you!
Belonging to myself and coming home to myself got a lot easier when I found out how my brain worked... Creating a sense of centred belonging from within has stopped me from doing stupid things like deal with MLM people just to have a group of friends or settle for incompatible connections, I am now discerning as anyone outside my very small circle is a bonus (if we're a true match).
Not only does anyone *not* need to know your exact and detailed responsibilities/obligations to understand your limits, their understanding of you and your rightful human limits is not the key to your success because pushy bulldozers who do not mind you being in the red zone should be expelled from your existence as best as possible. They aren't seeking to understand, they want you to believe that you allowing their exploitation of your resources and energy is the key to your safety, but your health is the key to a sound mind and they're not God.
These vision-hijackers seem oh so sweet and helpful at first, but you'll soon realize that their help doesn't truly meet a real need of yours, it is a nuisance that doubles/triples your work and chews your headspace away from your true and rightful priorities (they are time-wasters in disguise and just adding pointless work that does not move the needle, but they're getting close enough to your business to destroy you in a sneaky manner).
Set your boundaries sky-high and save your love for real ones, not leeches who will turn anything on you at anytime and act like passion correlates to a willingness to forgo rest (a hater isn't cured by your appeasement).
My desire to safeguard myself increases as I heal (it isn't paranoid-mode, it is about feeling valuable enough to protect and I no longer expect it from the wrong people: I do it myself, they're not expected to do it better than I can).
Protection isn't the same as revenge, do not let the boundary-haters sway you.
Do not expect people who aren't self-reliant to understand why you're fulfilled, happy, and satisfied with a high-quality small circle. Oh well.
I want to make it abundantly clear that there will be nondisclosure agreements signed for new people entering my life or my business and if that's a problem, I'm not forcing anyone to be in my life or work with me.
On entitlement and unfounded dominance...
Having something doesn't mean "owing" it and knowing something doesn't mean having the spare time for back and forth (limits protect my disability, period), anyone offended by your limits deserves a one-way ticket out of your life. We get to choose our charities and how we can contribute and to what extent.
The focus (clear zone of genius and few higher quality problems solved) of my brand and charity work does not change based on anyone's understanding levels.
On people who like to impose their values on others...
No one knows me better than I know me. No one knows me better than people I have known for years either. Thou shall not play God with my life.
Encrypting your time and energy reserves it for the worthy and a high spam-filter allows in the good and leaves out the trash so how is that blocking my blessings? It actually has allowed in Forbes, Adobe, and much more in addition to a small-yet-mighty-circle. No new friends.
No one outside of you has a right to choose your life path and life design, as long as you manage your obligations and household and so on, their attempts to play God are truly unwanted and unnecessary and a true nuisance. If it was designed to be genuinely helpful, it would seek your consent and agreement. Looks like they want you to doubt yourself because that's what imposing and controlling people specialize in.
Unless it is a charity, your household, or a dependent: reciprocity in a manner that meets the needs of both sides (true needs, not hijacked or invented needs via undermining your vision to mold it to their agenda) is expected and it is the bare minimum.
There is no suddenly getting better from ADHD, there is just constantly reserving your energy and accounting for your energy and ensuring that it is being spent on high ROI activities and people.
Those who value you will never ask you to move around your mental wheelchair or survival requirements and that is how you know, if they're not from your household or a dependent... This should never be a question. 🛡️ We simply don't have time for everyone anyway. Why would anyone try to force themselves on the life of someone they just met? Makes no sense.
Compromise in long-term relationships, within your household, and serious partnerships (outside the realm of health requirements) may make sense, but not for people you just met as over-functioning and destroying your own breathing space in a hectic schedule doesn't make sense, simply admit you're unavailable and keep it moving. 💯
A good person or a good opportunity will respect your logistics if they're as wholesome and genuine as they claim to be.
You’re not insulting, name-calling, or bashing anyone with a clear, short, polite, yet direct refusal of over-extending yourself for something that does not mutually meet your needs or is at the expense of your health requirements (without which you cannot function).
For me, God would not have given me ADHD (a gift when honed in) if I wasn’t meeting my purpose even if it’s within my limits for those who resonate with my capacity.
It frankly doesn't matter what the ROI is, you can't spend time or energy that you don't have anybody expecting this from you is a delusional idea inside their brain that they need to get removed.
Breaching your personal freedoms and boundaries is not how healthy attachments are formed, nor is accepting unwanted advice that is incongruent with your chosen vision and unique path just to make someone else feel good. Dominance over free-willed beings/their path isn't healthy (there are healthy ways to show love and passion for people and your craft which will not border on codependency or require you to function outside your required methods and limits). 💙
Boundaries are guidelines to how you expect to be treated, communicated with, and how you value your time (your rules of engagement): so if someone sees that as a barrier to connection in any area of life, good riddance to them. 🛡️
The higher your walls, the more likely it is that they caused those extremes to be put into place. Those kinds of people just want to trample on others without any repercussions whatsoever and they're just mad they could not use and manipulate you. Why would you want that anywhere near you?
Own your worth and worthiness. Bow down to no one or else your crown slips. Confidence in yourself looks down on no one and allows no one to look down on you either. Be "on" your purpose leaves no space for comparison, I am not worried about anyone else's lane.
I connect to God, not fleeting, meaningless, inconsequential, and unfounded opinions of anyone who has not been granted the privilege to speak on my life, business, or vision.
ADHD needs consecutive quiet time to "process" and manage racing thoughts, which is a part of the oxygen mask required, this is why we keep a small circle who doesn't resent our functioning-basic-survival-driven boundaries: logistics.
The few diamonds I have in my life are more than enough, because I have come home to myself, I have deep in my relationship with God and the Universe as well so I'm not desperate for any shallow sense of belonging, and I'm better with fewer people than an abundance of energy-draining leeches who are masked with fake love.
A small circle of high quality genuine love and support is better than fake support or convenience or proximity-based "support" with a side of imposition. The more they defend their genuineness, the more of an agenda they're looking to cover. Self-reliant people do not settle.
We can wish people well and want the best for them, but still not have time for everything and everyone because humanity really comes down to refraining from harming others, and refraining from wishing ill on them, but it doesn't obligate us to let just anybody into our lives (boundaries protect our right to choices, which doesn't take anything away from anyone else because respecting our own rights and knowing what we did/did not sign up for is a responsibility we have towards ourselves).
Anyone who is not from your household or dependents who makes themselves the victim to your rightful boundaries (how dare you have prior obligations, health conditions, and commitments that cannot be delayed) is hellbent to misunderstanding you: you don't have time to explain. ✌🏻
Needing a full "crash" day for ADHD insomnia recovery per week means we have 6 days to operate our daily lives / work, this is one of the reasons we avoid needless tugs on mental bandwidth (the core of ADHD's need for protecting the mental wheelchair), we are strict with work hours / workouts, it's considered a disability. Can't be everywhere.
The amount of rest you require to function, how you function, etc... is a reflection of your wiring and not only does it not lower your value, it doesn't reflect on your passion levels either. The more you love your craft, the more you should guard your health.
Healing brings your dreams to life...
Of course you're worthy!
WHY NOT YOU?
💙