How Lifting Weights Brings Me Happiness: A Personal Journey with ADHD
Living with ADHD means my brain is constantly in overdrive, making it hard to find peace and focus in everyday life. But I've found an incredible remedy (which complements sleep, nutrition, and medication): lifting weights without distractions aka SOLO therapy with peaceful - joyful - yet DO NOT DISTURB vibes.
Medication does not remove a full sleep/crash day per week, it doesn't mean we recover from interruptions of any length, and it doesn't remove the need for *quiet* unbothered peaceful undistracted SOLO workouts for processing our thoughts. We are very clearly aware of the costs.
Disabled people in the workforce are well aware of the conscious sacrifices that come with the decision, one of them is happily higher health and fitness bills and time spent on it. But who is this harming if we handle our obligations well? We don't want a big circle anyway!
Nothing short of ignorant if you think it's acceptable to encroach on the QUIET (stfu) time of a person with a disability for their fitness and call yourself a friend. Genuine souls would back off and encourage that time and space. That's how you see if there's purity of heart.
The "length" of a workout for ADHD mental health goals is based on the person. This has nothing to do with traditional bodybuilding, but inner strength and quietly processing my thoughts in peace and managing obligations around this consciously carved out fitness time.
No one gets access to my medically required fitness time for their personal gain over my survival (if they're not a child or dependent) as not only my brain is shut-off, a severe disability requires heart-rate and BP monitoring and it's as consuming as having a child.
If you had to pay close attention to heart rate, blood pressure, and body temperature on top of staying coordinated when ADHD makes me feel jet-lagged, you'd leave people alone during their alone workout time so they can hear and process their thoughts (respect that it is not the time or that there is none available instead of trying to lament or mold someone else's health requirements to suit you at the expense of their survival which is beyond disrespectful, disgraceful, and straight up bulldozing) and find someone else to entertain you and respect that their availability is within their content which is online: not their personal health regimens which sustain their ability to provide for themselves with their own health issues. It comes down to not denying people of their personal space whether or not you're educated on severe disabilities.
I didn't know that health requirements were optional? 🤔 People with severe disabilities who use the gym as a form of mental health therapy (solo) and a form of physiological renewal don't allow that time-block in their schedule hijacked as genuine people respect personal space in the first place and don't push themselves onto others like the "weightlifting is for men" dummy did.
I train to manage my mind. I am there to monitor my heart-rate and blood pressure, not there to entertain anyone who wants to benefit off of my energy at my expense. Genuine people don't lament not having the time, we're not expected to all things to all people in the first place.
If a gym that is a 10-20 minute ride away is considered a dent in my schedule, something else is encroaching, it's illogical to think that a menial commute is that bad. I would be very wary of any other area of life except children or dependents who has some sort of issue with this. The "length" of a workout for ADHD mental health goals is based on the person, this has nothing to do with traditional bodybuilding, but inner strength and quietly processing my thoughts in peace and managing obligations around this consciously carved out fitness time.
Only opportunists would take advantage of a designated private area of your life for *your* human mental health and quiet... just to gain something from you at your own expense, genuine people would actually respect your space and peace.
I think that the people who are not your child but believe they come before your health rituals or ability to provide for yourself (dependent on sleep/medically prescribed SOLO fitness) are the ones with the problem. You don't "owe" anybody a friendship, let's start right there.
The level of attunement required to hear my heart rate / monitor my blood pressure and body heat requires that anything that's not necessary to be removed, I don't tolerate encroachment on my fitness rituals, friends respect your space and dignity, they don't push non-existent time. My blog posts are FREE so use that, not me. I am not an opportunity for anyone on designated private time who would otherwise not have access to me.
Access is granted by choice, not demanded via impositions.
Some will pretend to tell you what you need which is really what they want from you and the only way to get it is to manipulate you into thinking they're doing you a favour! Wow! Everyone is so creative. A mind that is overloaded doesn't need additional streams of coordination stress past simply existing with ADHD, I don't need more tugs on my bandwidth.
People with disabilities often have smaller social circles, and certain areas of their lives are private and quiet by choice. We decide who and when we allow into our lives, based on our own standards. I’m not so desperate for friends that I’ll just let anyone in—there have to be criteria. It’s not about fear of being hurt or mistrust, it’s about mental and emotional availability. I simply don’t have the capacity for too many people in my life, and not everyone understands that. So, people should respect that boundary and leave it at that. 👏👏👏
I’m neither naïve nor gullible in choosing to keep working and maintain multiple paths despite my severe disability. Managing my health takes a lot of time, and I’m fully aware of what I’m doing. I refuse to be undermined by people who don’t understand the daily challenges of functioning with this condition. No one gets to micromanage what balance means for me, or how much social engagement is enough for my life. Certain areas of my life are strictly off-limits, and those who don’t respect that will be cut off quickly.
Disabled working people don't owe anyone explanations on their choice of a further yet more conducive gym to their nervous system, how they spend their money, or time on health. Be ready to be told to mind your business/get some boundaries if you dare to ask stupid questions.
Fitness is an investment in all areas of life. Fitness does not take time away, it increases the potency in your life and close relationships. Quality of mental presence, not quantity.
Time carved out to clear your head IN PEACE AND QUIET *without* being bothered = fitness. That's how the mind stays clear (for me personally). It's a medical need, not a game.
Part of the burnout was not having time for exercise, which is basic medical survival for me. Let's not make it more complicated than that and invent more reasons than lack of sleep and exercise. ✅
"Friends" don't disrespect sacred medical prescriptions for quiet workout time, they respect your limits and back off, yes, even if this makes you unavailable, no one has energy to defend their boundaries to people they do not need that badly in their life in the first place. 👏👏👏
I do NOT need the stress of adding any further coordination to my life as if even managing my health and two jobs isn't enough? I do not have time, I go when I need to and it changes daily, no one is tagging along and adding stress to my busy plate for their gain or to latch onto me, that's not flattering.
I don't know or need anyone latching onto my health routines when I can barely handle them consistently given that my insomnia schedule fluctuates daily and I am not tolerant of additional coordination stress, that's not even close to reciprocal. Gym = ALONE time. Get it?
People need to STOP acting like everyone wants the same thing. I am also not your free knowledge engine when my disability is cognitive so find yourself another source of free motivation/information when it's not even genuine on the part of the parasite, how dare you take advantage of a person with a disability?
No one can sleep more, have insomnia buffers which adds a layer of schedule strain so external stress isn't tolerated if it's not from an actual child/dependent, and exercise (medical requirement) on my behalf. I don't need any "connection" that bad, I don't owe anyone my space. I choose. ⛔️
Fitness for me is a medical regime, not a game/social time, as that's the antidote to the toll that ADHD meds take on me and requires a specific heart rate and curated movements. It's the reason I recover fast from any health hiccup. What and who is for me will work around it.
Make the conditions to your mental health critical with or without a disability, no one can sleep more when needed on your behalf and no one can do any of those rituals for you, it's your responsibility to protect the life you've worked hard to built.
Keeping a regimented health, sleep, and nutrition routine requires a lot of (flexible) order and structure so it's not that we are not open to new experiences, we don't have the time for many of them and we don't go with the flow with the lack of error margin we live with. 👏
I need full control over my blood pressure and heart rate, which is already at stake with my medication, I have no business having anybody intrude on this time or interject their opinions on what I should do for my health. It's past the point of tolerating nonsensical suggestions because I know exactly what works for me in this area, as echoed by multiple doctors. Also, I have no business going into group classes, where my heart rate is going to be out of control - like potentially sent me into palpitations (I would not train in groups even if I didn't have health restrictions, it's the loner in me who doesn't want to be bothered when I am using this time to mentally recharge). When I'm doing my workout plans on my own, I have full control over my body and vitals. When you're on medication that alters your central nervous system, you're going to be careful of the types of movements and so on. And I'm not here to explain myself to people who don't know what it's like to live with a severe disability. I don't have time for people like that.
***Fitness is not a game for me, it's a medical regimen.***
My peace is more important than fake connections I don't need. Those who don't use the gym as a medical prescription with a specific quiet-time therapy aim should not bother those who do. I don't explain myself at this age, intrusion has "control issues" written all over it.
I don't really think it matters what people do to recharge their mental batteries, whether that is journaling, going to the gym, cooking, knitting, as long as each area of life stays in its lane, it doesn't matter what people do to rejuvenate as nothing should be in the way unless it's a child or dependent.
No cost on high-vibrational health rituals (within reason, but you get me). Satisfying self-care is unique to the person. I'll take my quiet spa-like relaxing and beautiful gym over any other options any day.
Comprehension is not required for respecting different mental wiring or boundaries, especially if they're not your children, dependents, or if it's not related to a method of work for your craft or business - but you don't owe explanations for your private time and private life if you're not bothering no one...
Quiet spa atmosphere where people mind their business, in their "zone" to clear their heads collectively, and are gracious and respect personal zones of privacy = why I go the extra mile for fancy gyms that are clean and beautiful.
I would never get in the way of people's coping mechanisms (those who would are inducing chaos) whether or not they have a formal disability. If your body and brain cannot recover on a daily basis from simply existing and daily stressors, you shouldn't be expected to function.
If you have underlying medical conditions, you have no business following group classes because you don't have any control over the exertion levels and movements. You need to customize your own workout out to your medical conditions.
The “way” I heal has evolved as well and that’s good. It’s a line of communication to the Divine that instructs me which method to use and I plan to journal more so I don't go batsh*t if I can’t gym right away, it’s not a replacement but a complement. At least I’m facing my ish. 💯
It's not about "things" in common. It's values. Your circle should have the same mindset as you - if they don't, you're going to be dragged down by those who need a "motivator" or "teacher" while you get slowed down and feel used. Self-driven people don't play like that. I expect at least good energy and encouragement. I really don't care about proximity or convenience.
Internal processors need mental recharge time uninterrupted to process their thoughts solo (gym time is therapy for me, this time doesn't get cut into or bothered - except family emergencies - my rigid time-slots work for my ADHD - I don't owe anyone the conditions to my health).
Whoever thinks that putting yourself last is noble is a leech since if you don't take care of yourself with as much time spent on the health segment that suits your disability, you're not going to function (they're the ones acting central in a life that belongs to YOU).
Everyone has a different value system and my ability to function and survive is my first responsibility. Social connections are not above my ability to rest, train in peace, and eat well. They don't pay my bills so they have no business intruding on my health time carved out. Period. 🚩
If my value system does not match someone else's, then we are not a match so just keep it moving!
If you need coffee and a certain amount of sleep per day, is it abnormal or is it baseline survival? Implying that one hour per day of cardio and some weights 6 days a week for an ADHD patient with a high physical strain tolerance is anything but normal is straight up disrespectful and I do not tolerate any interference with my health regime from anyone who is not my dependent or child. I meant what I said. I am not going to have my life be made more difficult for the sake of those who undermine physiological and medical differences and believe they can modify others to make them more palatable to their intolerance.
I don't have the spare time to just hang out in the middle of my gym or spa time. You cannot convince me that something I do not need in a "busy" or "private" segment of my life brings me value when it's actually draining. This is not hangout time for me and I'm not available to chat during my gym time, this is designated for me to manage my mental health and peace and quiet, and I go there to use the amenities so anyone who tries to bulldoze my signals or push me into anything that disrespects what I know is right for me is not for me. This is head clearing time and personal space. If they need a group of people to hang out with at the gym, I'm not a fit for them. I will be the one to decide which parts of my life are social and which parts of my life are not. There are people with agendas who try to get close to you by any means necessary, but the fact that they're trying to do that already shows you that they have a major disregard for reading the the room.
No medication or talk therapy can prevent the kind of diseases that regular exercise prevents. I don't need a PHd in science to tell you that.
I train on my own accord, but I do it every day around my ADHD levels, so there's no reason for me to allow anyone to distract or disrupt my sacred health ritual i.e. solo gym time. Another reason I keep a small circle. Can't know everyone/do everything, it's best to accept this.
Coordinating the time to manage my health on my own is already a challenge with insomnia buffers so I don't follow class schedules or the schedules of other people (mental energy drain I don't care to add to my plate), but I do like self-driven plans... A small circle is a form of traffic and notification control because if the comprehension of working with a disability isn't innate, why would it be worth my energy and what are you bringing to my life?
My health time is not a welcome mat. It's a survival requirement. The right people will actually encourage the space that I require for my wellness.
I don't need random social connections more than I need my actual health and I don't believe that it's possible to form deep connections with people who disrespect the basic conditions to your mental health or get in the way. We only have so many hours in a day so we need to prioritize our definition of health accordingly and besides, our social circle is our own choice.
If I'm managing my responsibilities accordingly, I'm not putting any time limits on my mental healing and my mental vacation time, which is what the gym symbolizes for me, which is why it is a solo therapy session without un-necessary time constraints and intrusion unless it’s a genuine family emergency.
Working with a disability takes a considerable amount of health management time which means I have a small circle by default and if I'm not neglecting any of my actual responsibilities - I don't know why anybody outside my household would be worried about my seemingly long workouts.I know the risk factors of prioritizing certain things in my life over other stereotypical things and I fully accept that.
Those long workouts enable me to stay working and functional.
Those sleep buffers to absorb insomnia do so as well.
Exercise not only moves energy, but it prevents diseases and actively manages cortisol (direct cause and effect link). Journalling doesn't prevent actual diseases from a physical physiological standpoint. That's why both are needed for me. One does not replace the other.
Anyone who believes you should spend your time differently than how you are is quite literally undermining your choices in life or unaware that your choices are conscious and woke ones.
Does anybody worry about men being tired out from lifting weights or do they just feel a particular sense of unfounded confusion towards women who take care of themselves through lifting weights or putting themselves first? Health precedes any work or business.
I struggle to understand why people I just met or barely know believe they are entitled to a place in my life or circle, especially if they question self-care rituals when I have a disability that I'm very public about and disrupt what is dear to me. I'm not desperate to have these people anywhere my life and every place in my life is earned - so it's kind of confusing. I don't understand where the entitlement comes from? I find it delusional and they are simply closing doors for themselves by being nice-nasty, and covering it up as supposedly helpful. I don't have the time to explain my disability more than I already have in my entire lifetime and I don't need fake af social connections *anywhere* near me.
A full hour of cardio and thirty minutes of weights/steam room up to 6 days a week is normal for me since it doubles up as solo therapy time. The exercise is *medically* prescribed for my ADHD and confirmed in terms of length and exercise type by DNA testing medical experts. 💯
You don't try to shorten or tamper with the length of a medically prescribed fitness plan that is specific to someone that has a disability (mind your business). Self-aware adults who choose to work with a disability are aware of the sacrifices/costs in surrounding areas of life.
I don't seek validation from non-medical experts who have no disabilities yet think they can interfere with my *personal* fitness (over-riding basic autonomy and boundaries). They’re a threat to my medically mandated ADHD exercise routine. Fitness enhances quality of presence and my ability to function at a baseline and provide for myself. 👏
I will add journalling while on the treadmill, this is "introspection" and inner voice maintenance and something I am passionate about. I will remove those who disrupt this before adjusting my personal values.
I happen to have known myself my whole life, and I am at a place where what doesn't affirm, respect, and support my health requirements (what makes me happy) gets questioned, rather than me shouldering pointless self-doubt that doesn't belong on me. The cost of working with a disability is more health maintenance and there's a domino effect of missing nutrition, fitness, and sleep. I am past the stage where I need to explain this basic concept and if it's not encouraging this, it will get questioned for motives.
Since I keep a small circle by nature and I am responsible for my health above all, what appeal would anyone that tries to dismantle my gym time have exactly? Why would I seek validation from boundary and self-care-habit haters who clearly don't have a severe disability? I am referring to pushy weirdos here, the ones that seemed planted and scripted.
I don't workout in groups and I don't coordinate my schedule around anyone else's given I already have enough stressors and mental bandwidth tugs.
Another thing is that before playing doctor in the lives of others: not everybody responds to the same coping mechanisms the same way physically or mentally, so imposition in this area is wrong and can be dangerous. Don't get it? Get out of the way at least.
I'm fairly certain that journaling/therapy doesn’t rewire your physiology in the same way that exercise does. While it can be a helpful/different method, it’s more of a supplementary tool and cannot replace exercise, as nothing can when it comes to basic physiology and science.
I'm not talking about how interim measures are good before getting to exercising or whatever else, I'm talking about the people who are so daft that they would suggest that medication can annihilate a need for exercise. That's an indication of wanting to rob you of your own time.
Your own time = your time away from everything.
One hour per day of self-maintenance is basic for people without a disability so if you have a disability and you're trying to maintain baseline functioning, you're going to do whatever it takes to rest/function long-term and it doesn't matter what anybody has to say about it.
Defending basic self-care outside of the context of an actual factory of robots is a red flag, which is why it's very important to be in wellness-affirming environments and I'm grateful that I have that now, but I'm just reflecting on past experiences.
You can't expect people with ADHD to relax like "normal" people if coffee calms our brain. And it's very understandable that our "coping" mechanisms are limited to a few strategies (gym, nap, journal), and all that's required is that time be carved out properly to respect those.
Coping methods aside... I don't think those who "get me" need this illustrated, but some of us are very passionate about the fact of working out on its own, it doubles up as a hobby and solo therapy - so those who respect me are not going be found getting in the way of a joy source or reducing it.
Taking charge of filling our own cups first (while managing obligations) is a personal responsibility that we cannot outsource and can't be done on our behalf. What is truly superficial is viewing fitness as purely physical and thinking there's a replacement for sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
Implying that there's actually a real replacement for physical exercise, nutrition, and sleep which *precedes* survival: is a demonstration of a lack of medical credentials which is also a cue to stay quiet on topics we know nothing about. What genuine connection would want to disrupt an oxygen mask and your baseline mental health survival?
I need to understand why someone who isn't my child, dependent, or from my own household should take priority over my personal responsibility towards the factors that keep me alive, surviving, and keep my brain functioning? Managing a disability is like having a part-time job on top of everything else, and my health is paramount. Without it, I risk burnout. I won't sacrifice my health for random connections who need to respect my gym time and work around my schedule. If there's no spare time, it needs to be accepted. I won't allow anyone to add more stress to my life.
I cannot outsource this quiet and meditative experience, so I keep a small circle who respects this - no questions asked. If anyone I just met thinks they're more important than the conditions to my basic survival, that's not someone I want in my life.
Simone Biles is a clear example that people with ADHD have a very high athletic tolerance and need more exercise than the average person which is why my weightlifting and daily hour of cardio 6X a week is not a concern at all, it would be a concern if I did not get it...
Is it excessive exercise or is it in direct proportion to warding off the mental exhaustion that is ADHD? This is why health advice is to come from qualified medical professionals. We don't owe randoms our time or a listening ear to their garbage ideas that pollute our lives.
For my level of disability, there is no mental health without:
Sleep daily
Weekly crash day
Nutrition
Daily fitness
Extraneous nonsense does not take the place of the basics.
We give from overflow so our craft, business, and close circle gets our best first.
I experience swimming as healing due to water and I experience exercise as meditation, it's spiritual - emotional - and mental processing: it's beyond the physical realm and that's why it's sacred quiet time (loud minds require quiet and self-protective boundaries do not harm or infringe on anyone, they protect our own rights to manage our personal obligations first and in peace).
Your mind and body cannot be separated, so your physical health clearly impacts your mental health and vice versa. Not basic science.
Self-care is having a non-negotiable oxygen mask/setting zones in your life that are private time and off-limits. Self-centered/self-serving is behaving as if you're entitled to anything that belongs to someone else: their harvest, their time... when you're not their dependent which means you're an optional connection as no one "owes" anyone a social connection without their prior mutual consent so good luck trying to manipulate people who do not play into scams like forced fake af friendships who come cloaked as helpers and supporters disguising an agenda - you'll notice there are strings attached with many (not all, but many), so guard your hearts and do not be ashamed of your mental wiring just because some want more from you that you do not have to give if you do not want to or have the space (any retaliation against boundaries is a sign that they had an agenda).
Anyone who interrupts your relaxation time—whether at the gym, the spa, or your home, which are sacred spaces for quiet time—and insists on forcing you into an unwanted connection does not truly care about your well-being.
If they respected you, they would back off and honour your choice and personal space and peace (if I didn't go with anyone, it's alone time).
There's no excuse for such insistent behaviour. Even if someone genuinely likes your energy, they should respect your wishes and stop being a persistent, overbearing presence. These spaces are off-limits for intrusion (your alone time for mental peace and quiet recalibration), and a genuinely good person would understand and respect your need for personal time. You have every right to refuse unwanted social relationships at any point in your life, especially when you are busy and already fulfilled.
Again, true "kindness" backs off easily. In order for someone to get close to you, trick you, influence you, make suggestions for your life path that undermine your personal space and so on, you have to consent to that: so you have to be careful who you allow into your circle and that's why there's a vetting process.
My closest most long-standing friends and connections know not to mess with my gym time un-rushed. If it's time "off-limits", then it's unavailable time and not meant to be, you can't change that. I do not take intrusion on my sacred gym time as potential connections as they're demonstrating an inability to read the room which is already a red flag. I cannot miss out on what I am unavailable for.
My rituals with a disability and two jobs are far more sophisticated and time-consuming than most as I'm choosing to work with a severe impairment and anyone who tries to get in the way - and is not a dependent or from my household - is someone I am not interested in automatically, why have clingy chaos creators in my life?
Your time limits so as to tend to your baseline functioning (like any responsible adult) are not negotiable and neither are your overall capacity limits. It's not selfish to respect yourself, those who imply that it is are not the ones tending to your health condition and bills.
Lifting Weights: More Than Just Physical Strength:
For me, lifting weights isn't about achieving a certain look or comparing myself to others in the gym. It's about finding a sanctuary where I can channel my energy and find clarity: it is very superficial and small-minded to view exercise as purely physical and with limited mental energy, I need to limit exposure to those who don't comprehend disabilities for my own sanity.
The rhythmic movements, the challenge of pushing my physiological limits, and the sense of accomplishment after a good lift bring me immense joy. It gives me mental clarity with ADHD.
If working out makes me happy and keeps me healthy, that's what I'm going to do and I'm going to do it for as many hours as I please on a weekly basis (while respecting my obligations of course) and I feel like everyone should find something that makes them happy. Slay.
Lifting weights is my way that fits *within my capacity* limits to push my comfort zone in a sense. That's the area where it makes sense for my disability to do so. All else requires stability.
I get my best solutions and ideas while I'm training by myself, so why would I train less just because training more goes against the grain?
It's not my problem what someone else who doesn't fund my future, manage my disability, or pay my bills, understands or doesn't understand about me. The right ones will resonate with how you operate.
ADHD and Exercise: A Perfect Match:
Exercise, especially weightlifting, has been a game-changer in managing my ADHD. The physical activity helps regulate my mood, reduce the chances that ADHD turns into anxiety, and improve focus. Each session is like a quiet mental reset and vacation, helping me tackle the chaos in my mind. The endorphins released during a workout are a natural mood booster, making me feel happier and more grounded.
If someone has a severe disability and requires uninterrupted gym time almost on a daily basis to survive, that wouldn't be something I would look at intruding on or bothering, but that's just me as I have common sense and I respect the differences and space of others.
I think that those who are genuinely concerned with your well-being would never try to get in the way of your unique chosen methods. For those who question science, I would love to see their credentials. What medical school did they graduate from?
It's OK to save people from their own self-destruction and that's not what I'm talking about here, I'm talking about the people who don't have something in their life that they're passionate about so they try to ruin yours.
For someone with ADHD, 45 minutes of cardio and 20 minutes of weights is minimal, but essential.
To me, 60 minutes of exercise per day 6 days a week is basic self-maintenance which adds quality to work and other areas of life and longevity aka burnout prevention as when this time got cut into, that's when my health started to decline: that's a never again for me. 👏
I think 60 minutes of self-maintenance being thought of as hard to achieve would mean that what isn't staying it its lane needs to be handled and put in its place as it may be encroaching on basic self-care - so all else needs to stay in their respective lanes as long as dependents and obligations are taken care of.
I do not play when it comes to health and the way to support people's wellness is not to demand their time, but respect the time they need as they take personal responsibility for their wellbeing which they're not out here dumping on other people or taking away from others: they are preserving their adult-like need to take care of themselves and so not getting in the way is the way to show support.
My life revolves around managing my disability, which means I often need a full crash day weekly and dedicated health time, so what.
This leaves little time for expanding my circle beyond my energetic limits or accepting things in my business that have nothing to do with the business I am even in, and it's important to accept that.
Those without a disability may not understand the daily effort and guaranteed carved out time - un-interrupted by things not critical to my survival - it takes to manage it, so they should respect my need for personal space and not interfere with my unique well-being requirements.
I can work more when I'm spending more time on fitness in terms of focus levels - not hours. I'm not saying that I'm going to do that needlessly (only in some seasons when it is direly necessary to preserve my capacity) - but fitness expands my mental capacity like nothing else.
Pushing myself physically is actually how I recover mentally - as long as I'm sleeping enough, that's not going to exhaust me. I get exhausted when I don't have time to push myself physically in the gym or when I don't have time to focus on my workouts: that's what's exhausting - it's exhausting as there's no carved out time for my basic oxygen mask and that's not right when you have a disability especially.
Breaking Idiotic Gender Stereotypes: Strength is Universal:
My passion for lifting has nothing to do with traditional gender roles or expectations. Strength is not gender-specific; it's a personal journey of growth and self-improvement.
Whether you lift to feel strong, empowered, or simply to enjoy the process, it’s a personal choice that deserves respect.
I'm not here to fit into anyone's preconceived notions of what I should or shouldn't be doing.
Do not let anyone downplay what you take seriously in your own life just because they don't in theirs. Fitness is a sport, an art, and therapy for me. I do it for mental and physical strength and I do it with an aim, a clear goal, and not for recreational playtime. It's my zone of focus so I don't need anyone in my way distracting me so that's my alone time, especially that I am not here neglecting dependents for it so optional connections certainly have no business hindering my sport.
How many hours you spend in the gym or whatever else makes you happy is a non-factor if you're managing your obligations and dependents if any, I am not sure why this is even an issue.
My friends are grown and can take care of themselves, I don't want connections with overgrown children who need me too much as I have a severe health issue so unless it's an actual dependent, I am not a fit for clingy people who can't wipe their own behind as adults and do things on their own - I am not talking about genuine hard times, I am talking about human parasites who want to take from you even if it disrupts your oxygen mas and ability to function and provide for yourself (they do not like your energy, they're indirect saboteurs with a friendly smile so it's harder to detect).
Mental connections are less taxing and so don't befriend me if you're looking for someone to do your homework. Times of need are one thing, but on the regular, I am not a fit for people who aren't self-reliant and a mental/emotional/spiritual connection doesn't require constant contact.
Again...
In times of need, I am there, but otherwise, I need equally self-reliant people as I would not imagine clingy people being a fit for those with multiple lanes and a disability requiring strict health routines which we can't outsource and make no apologies for.
I find it too distracting to work out with someone else. Plus, I dislike being on anyone else's schedule as if my own was not complicated enough with daily insomnia buffers—the meet-up time, coordinating the workout, and so on is a hassle.
For me, working out is like a medical prescription for quiet time to shut off my brain. I’m not looking for more distractions and prefer to exercise alone and while some may like others tagging along, I do not as this is my "mental recharge" space.
Respecting Individual Choices:
I lift weights because it makes me happy, and that's all that matters. I'm not bothered by how others choose to exercise or live their lives, and I expect the same courtesy in return (mind your business). Everyone's fitness journey is unique, and we all have our reasons for doing what we do. So, let's respect each other's choices and support one another in finding our own paths to happiness.
I've learned that the right people will understand and appreciate my journey without needing lengthy explanations.
Don't worry about how long people spend in the gym or how long their workouts are, worry about why you're not worried about yourself. Don't worry about what they prioritize in life, worry about why you're not worried about yourself.
Genuine situations and connections respect your designated mental health quiet time. Anyone encroaching on it has an agenda. Hijacking time needed for introspection and peace is not caring.
I avoid group therapy or group fitness because my ADHD brain is loud enough and I do not need screaming in my ears, and gym time is my therapy (self-awareness and knowing who I am is not a comfort zone, that verbiage is thrown around by manipulators who think that they can change who you are because they assume you care about their approval above the basic conditions to your mental health which is false).
Respect means staying away from that time, especially if you're not my child or dependent. My closest friends respect my workout schedule because I juggle two jobs (by choice) and a disability, and insomnia takes a day from me each week. Anyone making my life and logistics harder will be quickly shown the door. We have enough stress and need people who respect our differences. If not, at least do not get in the way like a leech.
I prefer to go alone. With headphones playing music in my ears, I set my own pace and I do not follow a set schedule and I don't need to either. The gym is my second sanctuary, my hour of the day that is solely mine without interruptions or being slowed down. Health is a private and personal regime, not social hour for me. That said, I like training around people who are focused on their own lane as well and mind their own business, while being around one another's atmosphere of focus and discipline.
For those who don't understand or choose to judge, their opinions don't define me or my happiness and using my limited time and mental energy to justify myself to non-factors in my life isn't something I am interested in.
Lift for Happiness, Lift for You:
Lifting weights has transformed my life in ways I never imagined. It's more than just a physical activity; it's a source of joy, a way to manage my ADHD, and a statement of self-empowerment.
So, to anyone reading this, find what makes you happy and pursue it relentlessly.
Ignore the noise and detractors, embrace your journey, and remember that you *don't* owe anyone an explanation for choosing happiness as they do not manage your health or bills.
Again, I am differentiating naysayers from those who stopped me from my workaholicism, this is not the same concept.
I'm addressing those who feel threatened by others' health journeys, thinking it makes them look bad because they perceive it as too much. That's not my issue. I'm here managing my own disability and don't have time for others to project their insecurities onto me; they should work through those.
Some people play golf, I like starting businesses and some people play soccer, but I like lifting weights. I feel like everyone's different and that's OK.
Not only is fitness my primary coping mechanism with ADHD (and re-learning journaling if I can't immediately gym some days), it's also the center of my personal brand and side-hustle so I am going to continue using my high athletic tolerance to my advantage unapologetically.
The "anything is possible" vibrancy and love for life and passion for living is what focusing on health does for me.
You are not here to be controlled by others who don't know your needs and may hinder you indirectly or directly, life is too short.