Dominate Your Strengths
Disabilities are not a death-sentence when honed in. We have differences, but we are not defective.
We will not be pushed into economic scarcity due to broken systems (which simply need to be upgraded), so we will leverage our strengths and hold dominion over our futures.
Certain individuals with disabilities experience such severe limitations that they are unable to work or opt to rely on alternative sources of income, a personal choice that I respect.
However, I personally prefer to engage in work and intend to structure my life accordingly (I require goals on goals on goals to stay sane and those who belong in my life will respect my need to provide for myself - period).
Despite the sacrifices required to work with a permanent disability, I absolutely love this choice. The right people who deserve to be in my life are fully understanding that this is about a bigger purpose beyond just wanting the best life has to offer or materialism. More resources, more impact. I have more health expenses via working, but I prefer a higher quality of life.
There are circumstances where the person can't work at all, but for me, I don't care what system supports there are in place, my quality (not quantity) of life matters to me. The who deserve to be in my life will respect that I choose to work regardless. I own my oxygen mask.
Trust and believe that I will be working as many jobs as I can, for as long as I can, no matter what, and I'm not the kind of person who is going to depend on other people for anything including social support systems.
Perhaps it's my hustler mindset, but relying on someone else for income as a deliberate choice doesn't resonate with me as self-sufficiency. It feels disempowering and counterproductive. I prefer to maintain my independence and continue working to some extent; after all, I've always been driven, much like a racehorse. It's baffling to hear someone suggest depending on another as a career plan, considering the risks involved if they were to suddenly leave. It makes me wonder if we've forsaken our sense of dignity altogether. What's happening to our principles?
I would always provide for myself no matter what because if you give someone permission to feed you, you give them permission to starve you and no matter how good a person is, it really changes the power dynamic. It's very unhealthy.
The reason I opt for self-reliance is I have seen people be abused to a near-death degree in controlling and bad relationships and while depending on social/government systems is not the same, I find it would erode my autonomy and agency over the degree to which I operate my side-business freely. Yes, working is *that* important to me.
The toxic dynamic starts where one person depends on the other financially (control!), and I don't think that such a dynamic is respecting your own oxygen mask, which is also financial... Even in non-toxic relationships, that doesn't respect my core value of independence to a degree.
Even in a good/healthy dynamic, if you can work, why would you make it someone else's job to provide for you? I don't get it!
If you can and want to work, do it and own your choices/sacrifices. In no way do I comprehend why anyone would want to attach themselves to someone else to provide for their personal responsibility of building their own foundation for themselves. I like self-reliance. It's 2024. I don't do the whole gold-digging aka prostitution thing. It's not very self-respecting. 🤷♀️
People who don't know me and don't deserve to know me may kindly keep their cringey beliefs to themselves.
Working may be more difficult for us based on the innate systemic barriers that some (based on my research on this and conversations I have had with other disabled people) may face in terms of how it is structured and traditional work methods/traditional hours and communication methods (and how needing to find work that is flexible may be more difficult depending on the disability and so on), but to me, I am not able to just "exist" and I need my active mind channelled...
I remixed my paths to work with my wiring and I would work no matter what anyway (not everyone can, but I can within constraints, even if it means sacrifices in terms of a smaller circle due to logistics). I have made my choice and I am ready to accept the side-effects as the right people see that's a purpose-driven decision. Those who deserve to be in my life will work around it.
All I did was go 100% email for the most part and capped my hours and my business is still here because I placed constraints and went with how I "process" information and so on, it's really about working in a "format" that keeps us sane rather than not working at all.
The limits of your availability for each area of your life will be respected by the right people.
Just as some perceive individuals with disabilities as weaker due to their differences, there are also those who believe women shouldn't engage in weightlifting or support themselves financially so as to live like a leech-prostitute - that's their view. I don't subscribe to these views, I advocate for embracing one's identity and making decisions based on our *own* personal beliefs (and those who can work yet depend on others financially can get into toxic, controlling, and abusive relationships so I like to manage my own financial oxygen mask fully as I don't deal with codependence).
I don't care how many sacrifices I have to make in order to keep working, as long as my own household is managed, and I'm running my responsibilities and caring for whoever I have to care for, I can do whatever I want and live my life how I feel suits my work horse personality.
I will forever be the person who can provide for myself, family, and break generational curses so don't be coming around me telling me that I should be depending on other people. Please Google me before you come at me with your cringey nonsense.
There is dignity in wanting to depend on yourself financially if you can work (this is an oxygen mask that empowers you away from subjugation), even if there are sacrifices involved, self-reliance is on the top of my list of values, because I stand for something, I don't fall for anything, as long as I handle my household and dependents, I live how I want.
I love all of my lanes, but I never want to be somebody that has nothing to my own name because of what I have seen other people go through. I need some independence as that makes me feel safer (maybe I am traumatized from past experiences, but this is still who I am).
Based on my friends' stories who are kept anonymous obviously:
I do not think *anyone* should be tricked out of their earned spot or destabilize their life for unfounded reasons as restoration (of what should have been in place from the get-go) is what real justice is when it comes to updating the frameworks that disrespect the rights of the disabled (starting with the right to exist as a differently wired person). I am not saying the world was intentionally built in a way that disregards us, but still.
Karma is not repaying evil for evil - knowing the Universe handles it, but it doesn't entail forgoing your own earned blessings or inconveniencing yourself without a founded reason either.
We do not have to be boxed in, as long as we harm no one: we can be true to our wiring, which is better than suffering pointlessly (accommodations even the playing field).
Because ensuring I'm well-rested and undisturbed during my quiet and exercise time (except for dependents) allows me to function while working, I prefer taking responsibility for my financial stability and vision in life.
Money is an oxygen mask against 99.9% of life's challenges, it keeps you physically safe as well so you can live in a better area, and let's face it, it does buy health so let no one and nothing get in the way of your earned blessings if you are choosing to continue working. This is not materialistic, this is common sense.
I don't want to rely on systems that dictate my life and ventures, akin to an abusive relationship, even if they seem benevolent initially. I'm willing to make sacrifices to self-fund my life since my disability isn't life-threatening like needing an actual oxygen tank attached to me.
We remain authentic by giving a voice to the voiceless and *refusing* to be in the shadows of systems that can use some upgrades from what I have read about the stories of others with disabilities who also prefer to be self-reliant and value personal responsibility.
I hate to sound destructive, but sometimes we need to back to the drawing board and severely question the viability of systems that make our people suffer as if that was acceptable for humanity at large? We can *re-design* all of it.
We are not going to settle for a lesser lifestyle or lower our potential, we can find ways to remix our lanes and hone in on our powerful strengths.
Anything messed up and broken is an opportunity to fortify it through rebuilding, but it takes a will to manage the chaos while getting there.
Humanity begins with respecting differences and systems must reflect this to survive the future as otherwise, natural implosions will happen.
We are the ones inconvenienced by the broken systems, we are not doing any of the inconveniencing.
I am not interested in just surviving or co-dependence on more broken systems.
No one with a disability is likely content with a dismal and purposeless existence (unless they can't work at all, at which point it's a little different): there are so many ways for our talents to shine. Remove the shame of functioning differently and be proud of yourselves for being warriors.
I have too much personal responsibility to depend on a system (when I'm actually able to work), I don't want to be a gold digger aka prostitute of sorts either, nor am I going to cap my potential when all I need is a different type of layout/schedule/work method. The manner in which I refuse to cap my potential is that I kept working, that's what I mean.
The magnitude of our potential is not reliant on systems that we can rebuild simply as a collective and emerge from the sidelines using the power of our stories. Until *all* disabled people are free from indirect unfounded persecution and indirect threats to their livelihood (boxes, inflexibility, shaming, blaming, and so on), no one is.
Disabled people do *not* have to stay in the pits and graves that inflexible and unyielding systems put them in inadvertently, we rebuild them by sharing our stories and refusing to tolerate less than a bright future by showcasing our talents.
Differences should not endanger disabled people further than they already are.
Own your strengths.
Differences are only viewed as enmity (a threat to be destroyed by covert or sometimes overt means based on stories of disabled people that I have read) when one way of functioning is viewed as normal, embrace who you are anyway.
I do not blame disabled people who would rather not torment themselves further to navigate broken/resistant systems (this is based on the horrific stories I hear where they're made into an inconvenience to be erased subtly due to the added difficulty at every step and the exhaustion of moving mountains for otherwise logical requests that aren't yet as common as I would like).
I love all of my lanes, but I never want to be somebody that has nothing to my own name because of what I have seen other people go through.
Fleshing out scopes means measuring time expended on each portion within the allocated hours, all else puts you in a position where your guaranteed un-interrupted recharge time is hijacked (it can later be framed as a low stress tolerance yet coping mechanisms were destroyed).
I am *not* going to stop advocating when I can until all disabled people are freed from the imprisonment and indignity of broken structures that are expired and all it takes is to rebuild them and use this as an opportunity to remove all barriers. That's real ish, not negative or mean.
I am starting to understand that flexibility and logistics matter more to me than content of the work that I'm doing as long as it aligns with some level of interest meaning interest matters, but flexibility trumps everything due to my health needs and I am glad I realized it.
I don't think my self-worth would have sky-rocketed without being forced to learn, accept, and embrace my differences. 💙
Everything I am able to create faster than ever is thanks to finally understanding myself on a deeper level because when you have data on your brain: you do not need to experiment, you get to live and execute properly the first time which is an incredible blessing.
Most neurological disabilities are just code for "does not function well within the boxes or strict systems that appear to think that a certain way of functioning is superior" so when possible, normalize flexibility and different hours (where it makes sense for the work itself).
Building something stable takes a lot of self-awareness in a world that glamorizes adventure but I think my peace of mind and health are much more important as my side ventures are enough adventure for me (truly a good combo and an intelligent one too).
✨Just because my lanes are beyond excellent, doesn't mean others with disabilities are safe and I will *not* tolerate that, this may not be the core of my brand but it is part of my backstory so if I can contribute just by spending a few minutes writing about it, why not?✨
Choosing the life you earned and deserve after much suffering does not need to be understood by anyone who isn't on the same level of consciousness and emotional maturity. 🔥
It doesn't matter who doesn't understand why you prefer to work or lift weights or do this or do that, if you have to explain yourself to certain people, they are not right for you, so keep it moving and keeping yourself authentically because you will inspire the right people.
Barriers are not a part of a certain culture or way of working, they are part of a soon to be historical artifact because neurodiversity and disability inclusion is becoming the norm, no one decides the legalities except the law itself.
Disabled people won't have to inconvenience themselves to appease inflexibility.
The time I'm done with this, people are going to be voluntarily disclosing their disabilities and whatever other issues because they will not be afraid of the consequences. Just because my lanes are good, does not mean that everyone else's are OK. Advocacy increases protection.
Again, my lanes are lovely, the problem is that there are still people on this planet who need to fight for the basics (crumbs with a side of dirt all for being excluded from how the ancient structures were built at the onset) with the threat of losing their livelihood looming.
The world was not built for neurodiversity or disabled people, so I'm not mad about the structure itself, I'm annoyed that it was built for a specific type of person (accessibility-wise) at the exclusion of everyone else. We have a lot to contribute. And we do belong where we choose to be.
Someone else's limiting beliefs about personal power, physical strength, what constitutes a fulfilled and passionate life are truly none of your business so do not allow anyone to make their ideas your problem! You define potential and success for yourself and you can overcome your limitations via new methods of work.
They expect everyone to learn the same way, process information, and relax the same way from a young age. I don't think so, let's start standardizing certain "alternative" work methods early on so that future ADHD/neurodiverse people don't have to fight to stay in the workforce. I think it's important for Neurodiverse people to share publicly what drives them insane aka barriers in most systems so that we can normalize how various people process information and learn differently and get with the program a lot faster. Employment, in certain sectors especially, should reflect the diversity of the population so let's not make it seem like it's a rarity to have a job as a disabled person.
I often question "why" I choose to work + run a business with a severe disability?
It goes beyond quality of life/passion.
I want to be the example for both foster kids and ADHD-ers that says "with the right mindset and attitude, you do not need to stop dreaming, just use different methods."