Do Not Let Anyone Run You
You don't have to comply with arbitrary things that don't match your values or the amount of mental energy / time that you have because appeasing people who don't respect you is never the key. As long as you harm no one and you manage your obligations, do your thing.
It is not "kindness" to have no mental bandwidth limits or be "on" 24/7, we are within our rights to have times in our lives where we're mentally "off" aka not in performance or emotional labour mode to recharge and handle our charities, work, businesses when back to "on" time.
Know that prioritizing yourself doesn't mean:
* Taking advantage of others for personal gain
* Neglecting or being unsupportive in your household/long-standing relationships or not giving back to genuine charities of people in dire need (this is different than entitled thieves)
Having something doesn't mean you "owe it" or have time for the back and forth and when you already have allocated your overflow to a specific charity of choice, have a household to manage, and multiple businesses: you're naturally going to guard the time that is critical for your disability oxygen mask consecutive and uninterrupted.
The problem is anyone with no basis for entitlement who thinks they're a center-piece in your life or thinks they come before your life's priorities when they're not your child or a dependent. I am pretty sure that managing your obligations in life is what being responsible is about. Those who respect the personal choices of others won't ever hold this against you, you can definitely count on egotistical entitled people to take offense at boundaries, which gives you more reasons to keep your distance.
We also have the fundamental freedom to choose who we allow into our private lives and there is no basis for entitlement here.
You can care about XYZ and still say no.
If the subtle early signs scream "imposition" : it would be unwise to open yourself up to anything further, not because you're unable to set and reset your boundaries, because they're easily offended and incapable of grasping them easily = the true meaning of "test" the spirit.
Normalize saying: "I am not a fit for you if you're looking for XYZ" because it's best to be upfront so they can find someone else who does meet their needs.
Having property lines in your life around your own values and health isn't innately rude or impolite. I think what is rude is expecting people to not have any in the first place.
You can always count on those without multiple commitments to be bothered by the time constraints of others, this is another sign that should lead to rejoicing about a bullet dodged. I guard my focus very closely as I can't reconnect the wires once they break.
If someone wanted "for" you rather than "from" you, your "no" and the level of protection around your health would not phase them. Let the users be mad, those are bullets dodged nice and early.
Life is too short to deal with people who make you feel bad for exercising your boundaries (as if they somehow were allowed to undermine you) and try exert excessive control over your mind (walking on you). That's unhealthy. Mutual respect in any relationship is key to longevity.
Love is an energy, it does not require over-exertion.
And of course, trust is earned.