Quality Over Quantity
You can feel desperately alone when surrounded by the wrong people, yet incredibly happy when surrounded by less yet higher quality/safe people who don’t punish normal boundaries. When they act like you ending their exploitation of you is a wound and that they’re the victim, that’s when you know exactly what type of invertebrate that you’re dealing with.
It was poorly thought out when they chose me as a target. It was poorly executed as well, all of it was a very funny attempt at blame-shifting, denial, and a show of projection which is a low-class uncivilized attempt at covering their tracks.
The toxic manipulator who points at the “crazy” emotional reaction is also indirectly revealing their provoking, sick, and twisted behaviour / environment so blame-shifting is often an admission of fault when it lands on the ears of logical beings.
Self-management is a core leadership skill so you can’t really expect much from people who can’t self-regulate and manage dealing with their personal dislike and turn to personality policing rather than managing their own insecurities and projections can you?
Not liking someone personally is not a reason to set them up for failure and gang up on them... They were not there to kiss up to you... That’s so trash, just because they're not in your little group - you treat them poorly? Just because they have a health issue - you vehemently groan?
Shady people shade you as they are too arrogant to admit they do not know something (they are all about image, regardless of the cost to you or the business goals) and this is not the energy I tolerate in my life.
Someone else believing you’re easy to replace or believing that your concerns are not a priority for years on end does not need to change your value in your eyes, nor does it change the time debt caused by such a hateful/neglectful attitude. Never ever pour into the ungrateful.
Persistent torment to provoke a reaction from me sounds as vile as it was. It eventually lead to near-incapacitation, just how they wanted it to. I am rather inconvenient for expecting my personal time respected and the basics being upheld. The underhanded message that having a health condition or basic needs is inconvenient and that someone willing to forgo sleep/grocery shopping/cooking healthy meals/going to the gym on time is easier to deal with just goes to show how much certain people view humans as extensions of their agenda (the "yes" people are favored).
Only people with something significant to hide will focus more on your crying/emotional reactions than their own actions. I own my flaws, but I do not own their part.
“If you have to hurt other people in order to feel powerful, you are an extremely weak individual.” — Bobby J. Mattingly
Their lack of introspection and self-awareness is quite sad because their best laid plans are going to backfire against them. people who compete have to feel good about themselves in comparison to others and that's a sad life to live.
Confident people walk in their own lanes and don't compare themselves to others.
Some will work behind the scenes to make it look like you left on your own accord so they can bury the skeletons of pouncing on you when you were bleeding, it's rather interesting to attack the weak. Those people view you as an extension of their own agenda and will flip when you step out of line.
People who require other people to be the same as them in order to feel confident and validated are the most insecure species on the entire planet, genuine people don't need other people to be the same as them, they respect differences.
They will use traps like using your vulnerabilities against you when there’s an argument (you questioning them irks them) and they punish boundaries (no matter how nicely set, it’s the fact that you’re not an equal to them so how dare you have limits).
I have flaws and I own them, that doesn't give anyone the right to blame-shift (i.e. their behaviour was instigated by my flaws, it's highly predictable that overgrown children resort to such tactics, just as any schoolyard bully would).
Only adults are capable of owning their flaws, you can’t expect that from childish individuals.
Healthy relationships with people who do not allow basic boundaries are not possible. Only until you’re out of it can you understand how destructive certain people can be without even leaving finger prints, they’re masters at deception so staying as far as possible from deceptive flattery and cover-ups is key.
How to make it work with paternalistic exploiters: make sure to accept their projections with a smile, accept blame for their wrongdoings, and make sure you don't have any personal unpaid time for normal things like sleeping/health routines... because you won't be supported even when your medical office asks them to give you reasonable demands.
Is the cause of conflict you questioning them or their defensiveness around being questioned and turning normal conversations into arguments?
They need power and control, otherwise, they get even more arrogant to cover their lack of genuine skill/knowledge.
You cannot reason with a wall, you’ll notice how toxic a situation was when you are finally around fresh/clean/healthy air.
Forgiveness isn’t foolishness, further exposure to poison, or not rebuking evil. Rebuking evil is critical.
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”
- Ephesians 6:10-11
Impact doesn’t lie, even if blame-shifters do. If the existence of a boundary, no matter how politely they perceived it to be set, aggravates someone... that's rather interesting.
When a boundary-injured person dislikes the existence of a boundary, they play victim to win sympathy because how dare they not be able to treat subordinates like garbage!
Those with good intentions actually stop the first time. They do not repeat the pattern in various flavours then use your duly emotional reaction against you like the pieces of work who clearly knew the traps they were setting for me.
An emotional reaction to belittlement is not the same as doing the belittling.
Confronting any type of humiliation by the means which we are comfortable is not the same as doing the humiliating. Petty in private, charming in public is their main manipulation strategy.
You're not responsible for losing out on being the greatest expression of yourself in in order to cater what you do not owe the wrong people in the first place.
Apparently, it's really wrong to get emotional at times (it may be), but it's not wrong to be hostile and poke at me behind the scenes for months until I finally speak up.
What could be more important than health? Not an arrogant person who believes they can push you out a place you rightfully earned and certainly not pleasing or appeasing the personality police (who would not be happy no matter how much you go out of your way for them, even when bleeding and weak).
Going after weak people is the ultimate truth about someone’s character and how psychologically safe they are to be around.
Some people will never be happy with you unless they can run all over you and manipulate you and have you doing exactly what they want you to do, even if it's at your own expense and never part of the deal to begin with. The positive appraisal of such people is meaningless.
Even setting boundaries softly with entitled people will offend them, it is best to not try to “win” the unwinnable as they’ll see boundaries as instigating. You cannot “win” with people like that.
Forgoing your right to boundaries and self-respect or privacy just because your lines are different than theirs is also not the solution! Speaking up will test the strength, authenticity, and maturity of your relationships.
Assert your needs and wants because only twisted people will hold boundaries against you or punish your limits, who needs those? It’s not “how” you said it (even if it was direct yet kind): it was the mere existence of a line/being confronted that triggers entitled people. They see it as an insult.
They view you having value as an inconvenience as they're mad they can no longer disrespect and demean you. These types of people gain their power by controlling others, they have a weak sense of self.
Going after people when they are weak and vulnerable is absolutely appaling and I stand up for the people before me, myself, and the people after me. The personality police doesn’t get to decide who gets to eat based on nonsensical bias.
You can love what you do, while still speaking up when necessary because doing something with a smile while speaking up does not make the two mutually exclusive, and speaking up is not “making trouble” when you’re considered to have equal rights within an equation.
You’ll never please people who don’t see you as a distinct individual with free will and rights. I just wish I had known what I was dealing with way sooner. Those types of people will hold you back just by being around their energy.
Boundaries/clear respect for time on vs. time off (unpaid time for living life/health 101) don’t make you a bad person, infringing on the rights of other people, using them, exploitation, and putting them down makes you a questionable person.
The users and ungrateful exploiters did it to themselves, so do not play martyr or subject yourself to further exploitation with zero support to “make it work” when it is a two-way street. People who re-assign your work behind your back and dump un-necessary projects on you during a busy season aren’t as clueless as they want you to think. Work on your oxygen mask, not on dumpster fires.
You do not repay hostility or ignorance with kindness/silence and expect it to stop, that is not the solution. Detachment is/speaking up is.
“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you."
- Matthew 8:28-32.
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
- Maya Angelou
Kindness only goes so far...
We do not need to throw stones back; however, we definitely need to stand up for ourselves!
The Personality Police does not dictate my path.
They will soon realize that evil lives not reap anything good.
If basic and normal questions that move a business forward are viewed as insults or instigations, that's not healthy to be around.
Anyone who feels the need to destroy someone else for whatever reason, whether they are different than them or they are viewed as a threat to them, those are the very people who really need some self-esteem related help because that's not normal.
I really wish them inner strength and self-love.
It’s not how you said it, it is the existence of being expected to respect lines that bothers certain people as it inconveniences their sense of entitlement and delusional need for ownership/power over others. You can be soft yet firm and still set them off.
True power is from within so for anyone to go after weaker people or people with open wounds, they have a lot of work to do on themselves and their ploys/hatred are a “them” problem. I really wish people well, I just definitely barricade my life and mental health from those types as well.
Boundary-injured people believe you owe them explanations for refusing to spend (personal time) time you don’t owe as part of the business relationship to begin with, they perceive boundaries as curtness, it is rather unfortunate to be at that level of emotional maturity. I feel truly bad for them. I hope they get better soon. I do wish them well, while I continue to want nothing to do with them, peacefully cutting ties with toxicity feels amazing!
Manipulative and boundary-injured individuals also view others as inanimate extensions of their desires/agenda and fail to comprehend that “being considerate” is around things that they’re owed in the first place (not things outside the jurisdiction of the nature of that connection).
We don’t have to consider giving into anything that is a marked departure from the nature of a business relationship to a business relationship: i.e. unpaid labour, justifying our lack of availability outside contracted hours, tolerating subtle put-downs about our health-limits being inconvenient, etc.
I just want to reiterate the fact that I am unstoppable, I'm indestructible, and I will not be slowed down, stopped, or ousted from any place that I have rightfully earned.
When someone that they’re cool with it does something stupid, they’re OK with it, it is overlooked... but when someone like me did something minor, all hell broke loose, they can keep their double standards to themselves, because I want nothing to do with people like that.
I have had my fill of passive aggressive people with no straight answers to anything. These shape shifting chameleons are not always mean, and they don't target everyone. They do the targeting behind closed doors, conveniently.
People who are happy in their own skin and in their own lives do not go bringing down others.
I have come to the realization that those who believed that putting me down and throwing acid on my open wounds while I was at my weakest and denying me very minimal support during that time would cause me to break forever have shown me that they’re the weak ones.
Do not bypass your internal alarm systems and trust in your abilities, you were given intuition for a reason, if certain people don’t sit right with you, there is a reason for it.
The most intrusive and invasive (under the guise of warmth when it is truly dominance/overpowering) people can't get the basics of respecting wellness and working hours properly. Try being personable, not personal as not everyone is into that level of nosiness. Mind your business and get the business components right. It's about the dignity and the personal choice of the recipient, I understand it may be hard for entitled people to fathom this... These are the same people who did not care to advance business goals because the ideas came from a certain person (me).
While overfamiliarity and unwanted intimacy (weaselling themselves into what is not their jurisdiction at all which is domineering under the guise of concern which is a low-level of controlling behaviour) isn't owed in professional (sane, healthy, functional) relationships, a basic amount of respect for wellness and extraneous circumstances such as war-like times would be, provided you're dealing with a baseline of maturity.
I find it interesting that despite my disinterest in unwanted intimacy, a certain person had the audacity to jokingly recount stories of sexual harassment and tell me who I should date... all while lacking basic decency during the medicalization of my file. Rather interesting, no?
It is possible to be personable without invasing personal space, but apparently that's not common sense for some.
Entitled people don't show gratitude as they groom you into becoming the weakest and most self-effacing version of yourself, tricking you into not believing in your personal power so that you turn into a version of yourself that tolerates the underhanded dismantling of your dignity/free will/personal freedoms.
Call it out, they depend on our silence to bulldoze us. Live your life, love your life, but call out the nonsense: don’t be anyone’s victim.
Age is not a marker of maturity, life experience is.
Never let an invertebrate make you feel insignificant, their attacks and sabotage was dssigned to weaken you but did not happen because you were weak.
All my processing aside, a garbage-free like has ensured my health is flourishing and that I will never again tolerate anything coming before that (I require time freedom/guaranteed personal time un-interrupted).... I no longer care if this risks holding me back. The right things won't be held back by health requirements. Finally.
"There are some people who put you down in life, mock your dreams, and challenge your personality; they look like winners. But in actual fact, they are only voicing out their insecurities and jealousy. Do not let them pull you down. Believe and accept yourself and hold onto what you believe in.” — Unknown
“If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one—sided, dead—end low vibrational relationship or friendship, you won."— Lalah Delia
"Insecure people put others down to raise themselves up." — Habeeb Akande
Saboteurs can't win via their own skill and merit, clearly. Sad. So happy I am out of there. Rejoicing daily at the lessons while running a funeral for the wasted time. They get high off devaluing/ discarding/ belittling/ humiliating, it all makes sense now.
If all they have to use against me is my emotional reaction to a toxic/untenable/outwardly hostile environment, that's fine.
Thank you to the people who lied on me, abused their authority, made me look stupid for helping others even when I was drowning (they’ll twist anything to fit their narrative)... it taught me discernment and to shut certain doors with barricades to never let that fake flattery (laced with venom intermittently to make it harder to detect) near me again.
People who need to break people to feel like they are better than them, or place themselves above them were feeling weak to begin with no? Exactly.
Nothing you could have done differently would have stopped any boundary-injured individuals from turning your wounds against you or punishing normal lines (lines around what was never owed in a business relationship or lines around time on vs. off), what ended needed to end. Pronto.
You have to be OK with your needs being neglected in an unequal business relationship for it to work, be okay with neglecting rare time to yourself for basic exercise/sleep, be okay with belittlement should you set boundaries that stop you from being merely an extension of them, never again will I live without an oxygen mask as the oxygen mask is true protection (not trying to win over impossible people over whose filters and perceptions you have no control).
They went out of their way to attack me when down (using tactics like death by overwork and assigning useless projects during busy season knowingly given that it happens at the same time every year, I loved the feigned ignorance too)… they ignored their own behavior/part to manipulate me into thinking my reaction to a toxic, vile, disgustingly inhumane environment (zero time for normal health needs) which was not normal. Was I crying too much and in my feelings like a baby? Yes of course. Could I have been less emotional? Probably. Was my plea for help ignored for two years? Yes of course it conveniently was! The robot broke under terrible conditions, surprise surprise, people need guaranteed time off to rest. Weird, eh? Guess the lack of sleep was showing!
Get your self-belief so intense that their blame-shifting tactics become as laughable as the creativity levels of their excuses, because everything they did to you is to be blamed on you because you have flaws, definitely more flaws than them so it’s then acceptable to exploit you!
They cannot fight fair and they cannot fight you alone... Your enemies will show you your strength through the methods and traps set up for you, they needed an entire group of cronies. They portray themselves as caring because they are very intrusive into your personal life, but when push comes to shove and crisis occurs, they are nowhere to be found, and treat you with more ice than the north pole.
They cannot be bothered to care about your wellness or health issues to the extent where the business set up can help, but they definitely care about controlling your gym's location as they're inconvenienced that you expect your days to end on time. Do you see how the actions and words just don't match here?
If your joy increases gradually now that you’re out of a certain situation, it was never healthy to begin with. Build a life you don’t need to escape from around people you don't need to escape from to feel sane.
You do not need to “fit in” with locusts who don’t even respect themselves since people who love / respect themselves / who are secure within their own lives do not gang-up on anyone weaker /vulnerable. They couldn’t have taken me on when I was at full-force, that’s telling of their methods and strategies.
"Forgiveness is not about forgetting. Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. Forgiveness does not excuse anything."
- William P. Young
Perhaps that eye-opening discernment that not everyone will play and fight fair regardless of how much you do for them is the spiritual discernment I needed before the next level and internal elevation.
Not one has any right to override the freedom of your mind and tell you how to feel about people who have harmed you. It is absolutely inappropriate and not acceptable for anyone to do that and they need to fall back and let you heal at your pace. Any psychological protection that you have put in place is there for a reason.
The past is not the past because trauma has a physical sensory cellular memory, and it requires time to heal so don't let anybody invalidate you. You can move on within yourself eventually, but you don't owe them any place in your life. You deserve people who would not do certain things in the first place, without having to be told not to do such things. Do not let anyone groom you into thinking that those things are acceptable in the first place.
I absolutely have zero grace to show those who showed me their true colours while I had little to no grips on what was happening with head zaps/medication trials... I stupidly decided to not take a health break sooner, I stupidly decided to allow the frustration to mount to immense heights where I snapped at my hard work being undermined with un-necessary overlap... I learned a lot, and I forgive myself for allowing anything other than my own health to take precedence...
If you need to feel better than someone else by breaking them down and bringing them down when they were at their absolute worst, you are very weak minded, and that’s a huge show of character... it’s very hard to hide character. The best laid plans of evil usually backfire.
“Alone” is about the quality of the people around you, not the #. You can neglect your entire personal life for years and still get kicked when down - that’s “alone” aka around the wrong people who would find something wrong with you no matter what (if not in their in-crowd).
If you’re going to dish something out: ensure that you can take it because people usually cry victim (when they’re not the rightful victim in a given situation) when they get a taste of their own medicine and I find that really interesting.
It was like being delivered from the most hellish years of my life by forces beyond my control as I know that if I had stayed there, I would have not made it out alive. Thanklessly sucking up my evenings so I didn’t rest, it was implied that I should put up and shut up or else.
Boundaries are an instigation? How? Low-vibrational people freely misuse their authority to denigrate you, but they act as if boundaries are a form of mistreatment when boundaries infringe on no one. They act like the victim when you stand up for basic rights. Wild isn’t it?
If you're bored, play Monopoly, I am not to be played with, not going to move out of the place I rightfully earned due to the personality police. Period. I have a right to the place I earned and reaping the fruit of my labour.
Also...
Intense inefficiency has costs:
• You either innovate
• Or you make a budget to pay people to work longer hours at the expense of their recharge time manage that inefficiency
Which of the two makes more sense? Why would anyone choose the latter? Common sense isn’t so common.
But...
Learn the lesson from me, react mentally (react mentally but not outwardly) and acknowledge the issue to handle it, but do not cry outwardly because they want you to step out of character so they can show that you're crazy. This is classic destabilization of the target.
Treating me differently, overlooking my accomplishments, making me less important to deal with because of my level on a hierarchy when I was not being treated fairly to begin with... doesn’t make me any less confident in my own abilities, and in the place that I earned.
Never be swayed from your path, no one gets to decide for you, their like or dislike of you isn’t part of getting the job done!
I fully *own* my flaws of being a cry baby when my medication was giving me head zaps because I have now realized to never let myself live in a way that disrespects health being the first consideration in my life... and without that, the right meds/situation would not be found.
Being late due to medical issues (and them messing with your schedule strategically despite your medical office having made it clear that you need a later start) is a crime in a place where you can be a sexist repeatedly with impunity, noted. I love the double standards of invertebrates who virtue signal. So adorable.
It’s not possible for anything good to come from anything that costs you precious time for health and rest, the thing is innately dysfunctional, toxic, and truly broken... Scopes release you in advance from scope-less demonic stupidity.
We have free will, we can deny un-necessary access to people who chose to be outwardly despicable at our worst moments and keep our rightful and self-protective distance as self-respecting individuals with common sense. We can save our grace for reciprocal people. We can show neutrality, but save our kindness for the right people.
I think what breaks my heart is that people are so easily swayed off of a path that they love over the opinions of other people and it’s like:
▶️What are you there for in the first place?
▶️Are you there for likes?
▶️Or are you there for making a difference? Don’t be swayed.
When the passion comes from within you and you are there to make a massive impact, there’s nobody that is going to be able to stop you because the fire burns in you, regardless of what happens around you. If I love what I do, I am not going to stop my passion. I think that’s the message I want to send to everyone who is reading this, you do not have to allow anybody to sway you out of your path. Not the personality police especially. You have every right to reap the benefits of your labor in peace!
I may “fold” when on medication trials, but even what shook me temporarily did not and could not defeat me because I am not swayed and I held up well even with crumbs of support. I never needed their appreciation, I am loyal to my craft and passion. I will always outlast.
It was not demise, it was rebirth... This time, there’s a bouncer at the door of my life and energy field that clears out any crass before it can even enter my space as there is no more time for locusts who need to feel power over me to feel significant about themselves.
Needless to say, forgiveness doesn’t mean access to you or wasting another minute of your precious time on them. Forgiveness is for YOU to no longer suffer, it is not about them. Re-entry would teach them that they can trample on you without losing you. Put your psychological safety first since they didn't.
Consideration for someone who is so entitled to think they own the personal space and personal time of another person is far from the true definition of consideration which stops at “rights” - not outlandish power-yielding entitlements to controlling other autonomous humans.
You do not owe anyone apologies for putting yourself first, don’t let the perpetrators cry victim when they know what they did.
People who can admit that they’re always learning and growing are the people that we would want to follow naturally (I love that genuine energy), I don’t think anyone cares for arrogance that has to hold power over others to prove their position and strong-arm people.
Some will cut you and ask you to apologize for bleeding and find a flaw of yours to blame for them doing that in the first place (figuratively, but you get me, sadism at its finest).
The number of hours / years spent with anyone doesn’t make it a real bond. Proximity and convenience are not real reasons. / Run from people offended by boundaries. Those who see you as a rightfully separate person with unique values/ priorities are real, those who only like you as long as they can use you as part of their own little agenda that has nothing to do with what you signed up for aren’t for you.
They could not even get the basics right, yet expected perfection from you: that's all the confirmation you need on their capacity to value you.
Psalm 37:38
"But transgressors will be altogether destroyed; The posterity of the wicked will be cut off."
Why would we allow others to control our blessings and the direction of *our* lives? We do not owe anyone our personal power, that is never part of the equation in any situation, free will and dignity reside with us... Anyone else’s power play issues are theirs to figure out.
One of the main reasons why anyone would tear you down while you are already down or tear you down in the first place is to make you doubt yourself to the point where you don’t even know your own worth anymore because knowing your worth would have them lose their power over you.
The minute I said to the Universe: “get me out of here and away from the put-up-and-shut-up-we-don’t-care-if-it-costs-you-basic-health-time-it’s-your-job-so-do-it-at-any-cost-we-will-not-give-you-reasonable-expectations type shamers who view boundaries as personal insults” the Universe saved me.
Your health requirements are not an inconvenience, get any ignorant whiney complainers who think they’re getting less mileage out of their workerbee robots if those robots have health issues out of your realm if possible or limit exposure. Thankfully, the Universe did it on my behalf.
Whether they’re aware of it or not, any envy/hate/mean-spirited energy they project onto others is going to naturally be returned to them as nothing grows from poisonous weeds. We go through difficult times precisely reveal to us who not to bring along our elevation journey.
Sharing your story without naming names isn’t humiliation when it’s done as raising awareness for others who have been kicked when they were down coincidentally upon revealing medical issues, do not be silenced.
If you have to put your health secondary to anything (disgustingly unacceptable), if you have to not speak your truth, trim yourself down to make certain people feel comfortable: they are absolutely not your people. It’s important to know who to know and who to NO.
The right people will love you for your expertise, your innovation, and your relentless drive and dedication, your ability to deliver intensity within pre-set predictable hours not at the expense of dedicated health time, so it’s important to only invest this heart/soul where it is appreciated, and only stay loyal to those who are loyal to you.