It is What It Is
An invisible life-support mask is as critical as a wheelchair so there's no choice in how a disability manifests: only acceptance. Organic only. 💙
If my health rituals (ventilator-level vibes/oxygen mask) enable me to live at a basic level and not escalate into disability incapacity aka continue working long-term: I respectfully don't allow anything/anyone to interrupt that time, unless they are my child or dependent.
You have one life to live, and while potential may be unlimited... attention, energy and focus are limited, especially with a disability. It is never a requirement to sacrifice any amounts of your health for something to show that you care about it. You owe the time that you always within the segment of your life that it fits into. Caring is mostly an energy anyway: it's not proven through self-sacrifice and trust me when I say, such an expectation would be very unrealistic and detrimental, and it would eventually deplete you and sink you. Do not put yourself in the red zone for anything that isn't your actual child or dependent.
Self-care isn't selfish, selfish is trying deplete others or make them do anything at their own expense and to their detriment just because you can benefit from using them. Self-care ensures happiness and overflow.
Self-care is taking personal responsibility for our own health and happiness and filling our cup first.
I know my non-negotiable health criteria may be different, but I never claimed to be normal.
We always have to remember that the boundary is not the problem.
The person who has a problem with the fact that your oxygen mask comes first is the one with the problem.
You get to define the components to your health and oxygen mask because you know yourself better than anyone else does.
ADHD weekly crash day adds quality to whatever time I have left for living because I am not carrying sleep debt, which is an incurable side effect of the disability. I replenish it weekly, thankfully. Otherwise compound interest digs me a hole of sleep deprivation/burnout.
And you're not selfish for putting yourself first, they are self-centred for thinking that they come before you and your own life and if they're not your child or dependent, and that's a problem. Anyone who thinks they get to bulldoze your life's priorities is probably not right for you. Your health and household should be central.
All else is subject to time and capacity.
Prioritize filling your cup first and foremost because you bear the responsibility for your health and providing for yourself/dependents, the takers aren't concerned about any consequences on your wellbeing. 🧿
It is what it is. ✨